please i need fellow warriors opinion

Originally Posted by Alexa Smith

I've certainly seen a lot worse.

Here are my very quick random thoughts/reactions, more about the structure than the text ...

1. You're not building a list. There's no opt-in. This means that in this highly competitive niche, in which your many competitors are building lists, you're leaving most of the money on the table.

2. You've done well not to use bright red for the headline, but I'd still centre it and probably use very dark blue to make it more prominent/different, too.

3. Psychologists, neurologists and others have proven repeatedly that text in which Every Word Starts With A Capital Letter slows down the eye/brain and reading-speed and can dissuade people from reading it. Personally, I'd change that even in the headline (though most people wouldn't, wrongly in my opinion), and definitely in the long list lower down the page (checkboxes) where it looks seriously out of place and will have people glossing over it.

4. It looks a little bit careless in places because you have "i" (instead of "I") and so on. A decent proofreading will pick up most of this stuff.

5. Some of the expressions are on the clumsy side (for example, the sentence that starts "To cut the long story of catching up short ...", though you obviously know, yourself, exactly what you meant, will be pretty difficult for many readers to fathom. Even just changing the word-order to "To cut short the long story of ..." makes it much more intelligible, without so many words between "cut" and "short", but the whole sentence could do with being re-written, really. And one or two others, too.

6. You'd definitely definitely gain a lot of credibility by having a domain-name and forwarding it, instead of using a Blogspot url.

7. You'd definitely gain some credibility by taking the blue "Blogspot bar" off the top of the page - instructions for doing this are in several threads in this forum. (Whether you "ought" to be using Blogspot at all for this site is a whole different matter.)

8. Your subheading ("Professors predicted ...") is awkward regarding its size, layout and colours. I think you should make the sentence above it ("Discover how to ...") a bit bigger, and the subheading a bit smaller and all in the same colour. And centred. (The yellow highlighting is fine.)

9. Definitely cloak your hoplink.

But I think you're kind of "getting there" and the general idea is good: sorry if all the above sounds very critical. And good luck.

Originally Posted by Alexa Smith

I've certainly seen a lot worse.
Psychologists, neurologists and others have proven repeatedly that text in which Every Word Starts With A Capital Letter slows down the eye/brain and reading-speed and can dissuade people from reading it. Personally, I'd change that even in the headline (though most people wouldn't, wrongly in my opinion), and definitely in the long list lower down the page (checkboxes) where it looks seriously out of place and will have people glossing over it.