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Need a Website Critique (Please Help!)

by rawservices
12 replies
Hi Warriors,

It has been quite a while since I've been active on WF; for good reason.

I have been shackled to my office chair for months now with different projects; that require me to wear 33 different hats and speak around 7 languages that I honestly didn't care to learn in the first place.

To make a long story short, I need you to help me critique my landing page for a total body wellness supplement that I hope will be my first win in internet marketing.

Here is the site: (EDIT 7-20-10) Took the link out because I need my stats to be accurate for where I am testing it. Thanks to everyone who helped!! I implemented many changes that I think will be great!

I need constructive criticism only; I created the entire site from scratch myself and had no help in the process.

Please tell me if anything looks "wonky." If so tell me the browser you are using and the version.

One more thing, if you make a suggestion about the design aspect and you have site you can point me to that gives me an example of your thought, please include it in your post.

Thank you in advanced for your time and I hope you have a wonderful evening!

-Ryan
#critique #desperately #website
  • Profile picture of the author mainstreetcm
    Speaking from strictly a design perspective it seems a little right heavy. It might be that I'm just not used to viewing websites with that much information on the right hand side. The website loads fine and I am using Google Chrome.

    I'm not a pro when it comes to sales copy, but I'm sure someone else will make a comment. Other than the page appearing off center (again could just be me) I think your website looks great. Nice colors btw.
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    • Profile picture of the author rawservices
      Thanks for the quick response :-)

      It does seem a little off balance to me as well, I don't really know how I can fix it other than not having so many testimonials?

      I take it my sales copy wasn't the greatest :-) I've read a lot of books and everyone has their own version of "the best sales copy everrrrrr!@!" trying to figure out my own I guess now.

      Thank you again, and keep em coming! :-)
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      • Profile picture of the author mainstreetcm
        Originally Posted by rawservices View Post

        Thanks for the quick response :-)

        It does seem a little off balance to me as well, I don't really know how I can fix it other than not having so many testimonials?

        I take it my sales copy wasn't the greatest :-) I've read a lot of books and everyone has their own version of "the best sales copy everrrrrr!@!" trying to figure out my own I guess now.

        Thank you again, and keep em coming! :-)
        Oh no, I just meant that I am totally inexperienced when it comes to sales copy and there was no way I could provide any constructive criticism on it. As for what you can do to fix the balance?

        I would personally move the left sidebar into a nav bar at the top. That would allow you to center the page and not lose any testimonials.
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        • Profile picture of the author rawservices
          Originally Posted by mainstreetcm View Post

          Oh no, I just meant that I am totally inexperienced when it comes to sales copy and there was no way I could provide any constructive criticism on it. As for what you can do to fix the balance?

          I would personally move the left sidebar into a nav bar at the top. That would allow you to center the page and not lose any testimonials.
          I see what you mean, I'll try to see what I can do, thank you :-)

          -Ryan
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  • Profile picture of the author williamrs
    In my opinion, the site has a great look and the content is good as well. However, it doesn't mean that you will succeed. Now, you need to drive some traffic and see how things go. There is a chance that it won't work with your traffic source or that your offer won't convert, for example. You will probably need to split-test different variations, elements and offers.

    The only way you have to create a site that actually makes money is by driving traffic and making tests. Testing is the key.


    William
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    • Profile picture of the author rawservices
      Originally Posted by williamrs View Post

      In my opinion, the site has a great look and the content is good as well. However, it doesn't mean that you will succeed. Now, you need to drive some traffic and see how things go. There is a chance that it won't work with your traffic source or that your offer won't convert, for example. You will probably need to split-test different variations, elements and offers.

      The only way you have to create a site that actually makes money is by driving traffic and making tests. Testing is the key.


      William
      Thank you for the compliment.

      I am testing the website right now with google ppc. I've got great traffic keywords and I hope they convert.

      I've got analytics setup to track every part of the site including a heat map of the landing page so I can see where people are clicking.

      We shall see...
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  • Profile picture of the author FJRoy_o
    1. Love the green

    2. Transition on Mast from Green to climber a bit abrupt visually - increase transparency imho.

    3. opt in box - I really had to look twice for it - I went down to the bottom of the page - it's quite subtle on the left - consider a hand-drawn call-out arrow

    3.a. Opt-in-box - consider the graphic for the report to be animated - flipping the pages slightly - or moving the edge further out into the white space on the right - maybe 1.5 - 2 em.

    3.b - Opt-in call-out arrow - try a hand-drawn arrow - and match the color to the orange yoga outfit of the woman on the header - currently the saturation is way too low to catch my eye.

    3.c. Opt-in - below "send it" button - have link for privacy statement

    4. Opt-in Offer header - "15 Things You Didn't Know About Supplements" - doesn't grab me personally - "15 Secrets Supplement Manufacturers Don't Want You To Know."

    5. Header Color - The Complete Wellness Supplement That You Can Feel Working in 30 Minutes Guaranteed! - RED Please - or SPLIT Test between current color and process RED.

    6. Nav - left hand side - move to footer - no distractions other than opt-in - no other links til bottom of page.

    7. Thank U 4 the 100% Guarantee seal above the fold.

    8. Footer? Links to Legal - TOU (terms of use) - Privacy Statements - Contact

    9. Testimonials - FTC heads up - use neutral language - non-medical - replace insulin / Diabetic language with "balanced my sugar levels"
    " I was using your Pain magic " Is Pain magic a product? if so, then Pain Magic - if not - replace discomfort for pain - We're distributors of a nutritional rebalancing product - so we are VERY FTC sensitive.

    10. Call to Action - your links to purchase - consider a graphic button - repeating the button you used at the top "Order Now" over plain text links - split test.

    11. line endings - top of page - push table to end lines with RIGHT edge of "ORDER NOW" button
    "thousands of people are using daily to: feel better, lose inches, smooth out
    to text above "Why Should You Try Slim 'N Klenz™?" subhead.


    I hope my feedback serves.

    Thank you for the opportunity to review.

    John
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    • Profile picture of the author rawservices
      Originally Posted by Runway0530 View Post

      1. Love the green

      2. Transition on Mast from Green to climber a bit abrupt visually - increase transparency imho.

      3. opt in box - I really had to look twice for it - I went down to the bottom of the page - it's quite subtle on the left - consider a hand-drawn call-out arrow

      3.a. Opt-in-box - consider the graphic for the report to be animated - flipping the pages slightly - or moving the edge further out into the white space on the right - maybe 1.5 - 2 em.

      3.b - Opt-in call-out arrow - try a hand-drawn arrow - and match the color to the orange yoga outfit of the woman on the header - currently the saturation is way too low to catch my eye.

      3.c. Opt-in - below "send it" button - have link for privacy statement

      4. Opt-in Offer header - "15 Things You Didn't Know About Supplements" - doesn't grab me personally - "15 Secrets Supplement Manufacturers Don't Want You To Know."

      5. Header Color - The Complete Wellness Supplement That You Can Feel Working in 30 Minutes Guaranteed! - RED Please - or SPLIT Test between current color and process RED.

      6. Nav - left hand side - move to footer - no distractions other than opt-in - no other links til bottom of page.

      7. Thank U 4 the 100% Guarantee seal above the fold.

      8. Footer? Links to Legal - TOU (terms of use) - Privacy Statements - Contact

      9. Testimonials - FTC heads up - use neutral language - non-medical - replace insulin / Diabetic language with "balanced my sugar levels"
      " I was using your Pain magic " Is Pain magic a product? if so, then Pain Magic - if not - replace discomfort for pain - We're distributors of a nutritional rebalancing product - so we are VERY FTC sensitive.

      10. Call to Action - your links to purchase - consider a graphic button - repeating the button you used at the top "Order Now" over plain text links - split test.

      11. line endings - top of page - push table to end lines with RIGHT edge of "ORDER NOW" button
      "thousands of people are using daily to: feel better, lose inches, smooth out
      to text above "Why Should You Try Slim 'N Klenz™?" subhead.


      I hope my feedback serves.

      Thank you for the opportunity to review.

      John
      WOW

      Beyond great response, I have implemented most of your suggestions :-) thank you!
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  • Profile picture of the author BobJutsu
    Fine fine, except the right hand image in the masthead area (top right)...you know, the one of some broad like running, and another taking a dump on a rock or some other yoga ****.

    It pushes way to the right side of the screen if you are on a widescreen monitor, then you are left with a large whitespace while you read all of the content on the left...except for that one hanky image staring at you.

    Other than that, I would just break things up a little bit. I mean, the content is so formed into columns, maybe move things around a bit. Maybe half the testimonials with a lot more spacing between them, or something.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Sandercock
    For me the Optin is lost in the green to the top left. I would shoe-horn it in above the testimonials on the right, make it the first module then narrow the width a little.

    Also your Headline is riding right over the background logo on Chrome for me. You need to sort that fo'sho.
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    • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
      Originally Posted by Dan Sandercock View Post

      For me the Optin is lost in the green to the top left. I would shoe-horn it in above the testimonials on the right, make it the first module then narrow the width a little.
      I didn't notice there was an opt-in til I read Dan's comment.

      My suggestion is to remove the impossibly thin, airbrushed girl from the right hand side, where she adds nothing and conflicts horribly with the "real" people on the rest of the site. Replace her with a visible opt-in box.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Sandercock
        Well put RoseTrees... Like I mentioned you could then salvage some width as you will only have one right side column.

        And move the nav below it (home, contact etc) to the footer, its not needed as you are looking for optins or purchases.
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