Google Instants in the Real WOrld

Is it just me, or is the new Google instant stuff really annoying?

It's like having some low grade idiot whispering in your ear as you try and hold a conversation. If it was like this in the real world, it would probably look something like this:-

You enter the Google.com Restaurant. The maitre'd greets you.

You: Good evening I'd like...

Maitre'd: ...to be remembered for the things you did?

You: No, I'd like a t...

Maitre'd: ...a ten gallon hat and some leather chaps?

You: No, I'd like a tabl...

Maitre'd: a table for 4?

You: No, there's only 3 of us.

Maitre'd: ... a table for 2?

You: I'd like a table for 3.

The Maitre'd walks you through the restaurant and seats you.

Maitre'd: I couldn't help noticing that you are Canadian. Therefore I've seated you at this little table by the kitchen door, in the smoking area. that should make you feel at home.

You: None of us smoke, and we were hoping to have a quite conversation.

Maitre'd: (shouting over the noise) Enjoy your meal.

The waiter comes over.

You: Hi. I'd like t...

Waiter: ... two kilos of salt and a large spoon?

You: No, I'd like to..

Waiter: ... to find buggy whips at excellent prices?

You: No, I'd like to start with a bottle of...

Waiter: ... household bleach, delivered to Canada free?

You: No, I'm not Canadian. I'm just in Canada on holiday. I'd like to start with a bottle of house white.

Waiter: ... An excellent choice sir. May I also suggest this wonderful Moose repellant? Guaranteed to work on all species of Canadian Moose.

You: Listen carefully. I'm not Canadian. I came in here specifically because it is Google.COM, not Google.ca. We'd like some...

Waiter: ... respect? Galoshes? Beer goggles? Anthracite in 10 kilo bags?

You: What are you talking about? We're here to eat!

Waiter: ... Certainly sir. And what would you like to eat?

You: The pra...

Waiter: ... The prana-bindu yoga routine that slows the ageing process?

You: The prawn cocktails.

Waiter: Yes sir. And for your main course?

You: Can I get...

Waiter: ... a better deal on your auto insurance?

You: Can I get the st...

Waiter: ... the stains out of the carpet using this Canadian carpet cleaner?

You: THE STEAK

Waiter: ... rare, with mashed potatoes

You: MEDIUM, WITH...

Waiter: ... medium with own crystal ball available for reading in Toronto?

You: MEDIUM WITH FRIES

Waiter: ... Unfortunately sir, as you are Canadian, fries aren't available with your steak. You can have Canadian Bacon and sweet potato, if you like.

You: Bye bye. Come on guys, lets go to M..

Waiter: ... Madagascar? Magaluf? Morrison's Shoe Emporium, Quebec?

You: McDonalds.



Funny thing is, Bing ran a series of ads recently, where someone said something and everyone started spouting nonsense, howling like monkeys etc. Possibly one of the most annoying ads of the year, in fact. And what have Google done? Implemented it as a web interface. Incredible.