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Squeeze Page Review

by Rough Outline
19 replies
Hi Warriors,

I haven't started promoting my squeeze page yet properly but before I do, just wanted to get some opinions on it, just so I know that I'm not making any obvious errors.

Here it is > Free & Exclusive Digital Report | The Internet Equals Money

Thanks,
Matt
#page #review #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author MattyD
    It feels a little bit empty to me. I'd really like to see more detail if I was a potential subscriber - such as setting up a scenario that I could empathise with, seeing the mistake that I make as well. You need to create a rapport with your visitor to get them to fill in their details and click submit.

    You could even have a short video on the page just to instantly grab their attention.

    Right now it just feels a little lifeless and I don't feel there is enough information there to get the potential visitor to subscribe.

    Pro tip: Get the subscriber's first name as well as their email address, so that you can actually personalise emails that you send to them in the future.

    Example Subject - FAO: Dave, You Need This!

    Example Email - Dear Dave,

    Content goes here...
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    • Profile picture of the author Rough Outline
      Originally Posted by MattyD View Post

      It feels a little bit empty to me. I'd really like to see more detail if I was a potential subscriber - such as setting up a scenario that I could empathise with, seeing the mistake that I make as well. You need to create a rapport with your visitor to get them to fill in their details and click submit.

      You could even have a short video on the page just to instantly grab their attention.

      Right now it just feels a little lifeless and I don't feel there is enough information there to get the potential visitor to subscribe.

      Pro tip: Get the subscriber's first name as well as their email address, so that you can actually personalise emails that you send to them in the future.

      Example Subject - FAO: Dave, You Need This!

      Example Email - Dear Dave,

      Content goes here...
      I remember reading somewhere that conversion rates are much higher for optins without the name option plus some people find the first name use in emails from someone they don't know quite creepy.

      I'll make the content longer and more enticing though definitely.
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  • Profile picture of the author MattyD
    By using someone's first name, you build a rapport with them. If you give them good content, over time they will trust you. There are many marketers on here who have a very loyal list of subscribers and every time they sell something in a WSO, the same people will buy it as soon as they see the marketer's name.

    It works both ways Personally I've tried both in the past and my conversion rates have always been higher where I've had name/email on the page rather than just email. In addition, I've then built great rapport with subscribers and dealt with them personally on a number of occasions, including going to one wedding haha.

    Perhaps make two versions of your squeeze page and split test them?
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    • Profile picture of the author Rough Outline
      Originally Posted by MattyD View Post

      By using someone's first name, you build a rapport with them. If you give them good content, over time they will trust you. There are many marketers on here who have a very loyal list of subscribers and every time they sell something in a WSO, the same people will buy it as soon as they see the marketer's name.

      It works both ways Personally I've tried both in the past and my conversion rates have always been higher where I've had name/email on the page rather than just email. In addition, I've then built great rapport with subscribers and dealt with them personally on a number of occasions, including going to one wedding haha.

      Perhaps make two versions of your squeeze page and split test them?
      Haha a wedding, no way!

      I reckon I'll split test as you say, best thing to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    I didn't have to read much to recommend a re-write "I" never use that in your headline, forgettaboutit!
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  • Profile picture of the author d0rhk
    Hm.. try replacing the "I turned..." with the "10 Reasons Why..." heading..

    Personally I could care less about your success.. I would rather know why you think I'm failing.
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    • Profile picture of the author jorgesil
      You've got good advice from "MattyD".

      Follow what he said.
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    • Profile picture of the author Rough Outline
      Originally Posted by d0rhk View Post

      Hm.. try replacing the "I turned..." with the "10 Reasons Why..." heading..

      Personally I could care less about your success.. I would rather know why you think I'm failing.
      Don't cry, just an attention grabbing title.
      Signature
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      • Profile picture of the author MattyD
        Originally Posted by Rough Outline Writing View Post

        Don't cry, just an attention grabbing title.
        I don't think d0rhk meant what he said in an offensive way. What he typed was from the point of view of the visitor. Your sales/squeeze page needs to convey the benefits of your product and how it is going to help the visitor. They don't need to read anything written in the first-person narrative.

        Re: Wedding. A business owner from just south of London subscribed to one of my local SEO websites last year. We got talking after he asked some questions, I ended up helping him extensively with his business. He made money, so I became his new friend and I ended up going to his wedding. It was a little surreal, but another great chance to network (and have free cake!).
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      • Profile picture of the author d0rhk
        Originally Posted by Rough Outline Writing View Post

        Don't cry, just an attention grabbing title.
        IMO there's nothing attention grabbing out it, that's why I suggested you split test it with the other heading.

        Dont ask for people's opinions and then give sarcastic ignorant replies.
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        • Profile picture of the author Rough Outline
          Originally Posted by d0rhk View Post

          IMO there's nothing attention grabbing out it, that's why I suggested you split test it with the other heading.

          Dont ask for people's opinions and then give sarcastic ignorant replies.
          Only messing, what title would you suggest? Also how would I go about split testing a wordpress page?
          Signature
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          • Profile picture of the author d0rhk
            Originally Posted by Rough Outline Writing View Post

            Only messing, what title would you suggest? Also how would I go about split testing a wordpress page?

            Try some of these out: WordPress › Search for split test WordPress Plugins

            The top one looks really cool. Description says you can split test segments of code.. so I guess you could split test your title, then body, etc

            Go through them, i'm sure there's one or two that will work. You could also do a google search.
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  • Profile picture of the author FlightGuy
    I have to agree with the points made by everyone here thus far. When you write copy, especially squeeze page copy, you want to eliminate pronouns. "I, it, him, them," etc.

    Subconsciously, that's not what potential subscribers respond to. Turn your "I" statement into a shortened story:

    "Learn how a desperate homeless man turns his misfortune into $xxx.xx a month without purchasing any big-guru-named products whatsoever! "

    Obviously, this doesn't apply to your product as a viable story, but it serves only as an example.

    Best of luck sir,
    John Dennis
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    "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." - Jim Rohn
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  • Profile picture of the author petelta
    That's a good start. Like MattyD said, it's a little empty. But, it won't take much to make that convert nicely.

    Just a simple suggestion that helps:

    Under 10 Reasons Why You're Failing to Make Money Online...

    Instead of the paragraph, put something like...Quickly discover: then bullet point the 10 reasons in your ebook...word them so they sound like benefits to their outcome.

    Even just bullet point 5 of them...I would bet it will increase your conversions.

    Travis
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    TEESPRING Student Rakes In Over $116k In Less Than 3 Months
    Niche Pro Profits - How I raked in OVER $120k in 9 months with authority niche sites...

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  • Profile picture of the author Rough Outline
    Wow! Thanks so much for such great help and MattyD anything that yields free cake is good, surreal or not
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
    People aren't stupid... Especially us crafty internet marketers.

    IMO don't ask for the first name. I know people say "split test" and try to tell you what works, but it's just annoying to me personally.

    I especially don't like it when people try to sell me something and then say "talk soon" even though were not.

    Just a few thoughts for your IM endeavor. Congrats on building a list

    - Dean
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    My top student WILL make your sales go BANANAS!
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  • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
    I like the report name 10 reasons why you fail to succeed online. However, everyone's wanting to know the right reasons why people succeed.

    And I'll tell you one reason why people fail:

    Taking action of the information they already have.

    People are made to think they are going to get rich quick being lazy and that's even not close to the truth.

    Ronak.
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    I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

    Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
    Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
    I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
    *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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  • Profile picture of the author ListBuildingForNewbies
    The graphics of your Squeeze Page can do with some improvements:
    [1] the picture of the book cover is blurred, too small and unclear.
    [2] the text is not justified – the margins are uneven.
    [3]the spacing between the lines is not enough – there should be more space between the lines to make the text more readable.
    [4] for your title you should have a more impressive font.
    [5] the general looks should be more professional and sophisticated.
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    PLEASE NO AFFILAITE / REDIRECT LINKS IN YOUR SIGNATURE!

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  • Profile picture of the author leeh
    I'd like to know how people generate those book images.
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