How Could I Improve This Title?

31 replies
Hello,

I'm working on my title writing skills.

Suppose I had a title:

Fluffy Dog Hats - 5 Top Tips


How could I improve that to get more visitors?
#improve #title
  • Profile picture of the author creative
    You might get a few ideas on the copywriting section of this forum.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Birch
    Originally Posted by cheapskatemate View Post

    Hello,

    I'm working on my title writing skills.

    Suppose I had a title:

    Fluffy Dog Hats - 5 Top Tips


    How could I improve that to get more visitors?
    Ok - IMHO leave out the fluffy dog hats bit - they sound nerdy and wussy . . .

    How about
    Finally - 5 Top Tips to Keep Your Pooch's Ears Toastie Warm on Frosty Winter Mornings
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  • Profile picture of the author petevamp
    Originally Posted by cheapskatemate View Post

    Hello,

    I'm working on my title writing skills.

    Suppose I had a title:

    Fluffy Dog Hats - 5 Top Tips


    How could I improve that to get more visitors?
    It really depends upon what you are wanting to do with the site. First if you are selling fluffy dog hats then why are you giving them 5 tips on fluffy dog hats. Now if you are looking for adsense revenue for the term then you should change the order to something like 5 Hot Tips on Buying Fluffy Dog Hats. It really depends upon what you are trying to do with the site and or article though.
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  • Profile picture of the author Apply Marketing
    Hats to give your dog celebrity status

    Women who own dogs and put hats on them are passionate about celebrities.
    You might even throw in some celebrity names there

    Make your dog the Oprah of dogs with this hat.

    You might also consider people who's opinion matters for the dog owner and
    touch that.

    For example if they are women who hang out with other women at cocktail parties and take their dogs with them, you can say something about that, too.
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  • Profile picture of the author cheapskatemate
    Thanks for the tips. I'm not actually writing about dog hats, but was hoping to get some insights into the thought processes that you guys would go through to improve that title.

    How do I move this thread to the copywriting forum?
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  • Profile picture of the author Apply Marketing
    Well I basically think of all the inner psychological triggers that sting people's minds
    and then I think of the people in their lives who's opinion for their activity matters
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  • Profile picture of the author King Shiloh
    Banned
    Add a subtitle to it. Something like:

    Discover How Kick-ass Hats Can Give Your Dog A Stunning Look
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    • Profile picture of the author AshleyB
      Originally Posted by King Shiloh View Post

      Add a subtitle to it. Something like:

      Discover How Kick-ass Hats Can Give Your Dog A Stunning Look
      I think adding a subtitle is a great idea, and I love the one you listed Shiloh. However, depending on your market, I would choose a different adjective than "kick-ass". That would personally be a turn off for me. If you have an edgier market, it would work well. But if you are targeting little old ladies who love to dress up their dog, that wouldn't work.
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  • Profile picture of the author bretski
    Originally Posted by cheapskatemate View Post

    Hello,

    I'm working on my title writing skills.

    Suppose I had a title:

    Fluffy Dog Hats - 5 Top Tips


    How could I improve that to get more visitors?
    If "dog hats" or "fluffy dog hats" is the keyword that you're shooting for then you are off to a good start.

    Personally, I don't care for "5 top tips" or titles like that. So....how about:

    "Fluffy Dog Hats - So Cute You Will Cry!"

    "Fluffy Dog Hats - All The Rage in Easter Europe"

    "Fluffy Dog Hats - All The Cool Dogs Are Wearing Them"

    "Fluffy Dog Hats - Pimp My Pup!"

    HAHA! That was fun! Hope this helps!
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  • Profile picture of the author Trivum
    5 Fluffy Hats that will Make Your Dog Look Adorable

    Thinking process here: give the benefit - making the dog look adorable.

    (Personally, of course, I think that if dogs are subjected to such things, then they should be allowed full access to the fridge as compensation.)
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    • Profile picture of the author Apply Marketing
      Originally Posted by Trivum View Post

      5 Fluffy Hats that will Make Your Dog Look Adorable

      Thinking process here: give the benefit - making the dog look adorable.

      (Personally, of course, I think that if dogs are subjected to such things, then they should be allowed full access to the fridge as compensation.)
      Making the dog look adorable is not the END benefit Dig it up even more
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      • Profile picture of the author Steve Hines
        Originally Posted by Apply Marketing View Post

        Making the dog look adorable is not the END benefit Dig it up even more
        Hi, I'm not trying to hijack this thread, but would going deeper for the ultimate END benefit be the thrill or happiness the dog owner gets from seeing the dog dressed up?

        If so, maybe a title like - Fluffy Dog Hats - So cute you'll sit up and beg for more or something along those lines?

        I may be way off the mark, just trying to keep the dialog (and the learning experience) going.
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      • Profile picture of the author Trivum
        Originally Posted by Apply Marketing View Post

        Making the dog look adorable is not the END benefit Dig it up even more
        Well, we could get into the fact that conditioned, egoic mind patterns lead one to seek his/her sense of identity outside of his/her own being ... if you really want to dig it up, but when you come to understand that bit of existential reality, you don't really see it as a "benefit." Therefore, I stopped at the "adorable" point, which seems appropriate enough for a marketing campaign.
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  • Profile picture of the author hh227
    i didnt know fluffy dogs wear hats?
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    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Originally Posted by hh227 View Post

      i didnt know fluffy dogs wear hats?
      Haha....very funny! Another way to tackle this would be - Top 5 Adorable Dog Hats Sure To Make Your Pooch A Superstar!

      Catchy (but not too edgy) titles like this always do well, and I see this as a recurring theme whenever I glance through the magazine headlines at my grocery store checkout counter!

      EDIT: I didn't read the original title thoroughly enough it seems, and somewhat changed the meaning of the title! How about this then - Top 5 Tips You May Not Know About For Selecting The Best Fluffy Hat For Your Dog!
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  • Profile picture of the author nealcarl
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author wayne60618
      Since the question isn't very specific, you are not likely to get a very specific answer. If your fluffy dog hats have some emotional appeal, that is a good place to start. Or, you could just throw Jessica Simpson,Britney Spears, and Christina Aguillera into the equation.

      What Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears,and Christina Aguillera's Dogs Will All Be Wearing This Winter
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  • Profile picture of the author David McKee
    And of course the tried and true...

    "They laughed at the Bridge club when I said I was buying my dog a hat, but when they saw how cute he looked..."

    -DTM
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    • Profile picture of the author wayne60618
      Originally Posted by David McKee View Post

      And of course the tried and true...

      "They laughed at the Bridge club when I said I was buying my dog a hat, but when they saw how cute he looked..."

      -DTM
      I like it, a good twist on a classic.
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  • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
    you can do it, doggy style fashion - soft warm & cuddly dog hats - knit yours today
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  • Profile picture of the author infomaniacs
    this place is fantastic! It is so inspiring to find a forum where people aren't afraid to share ideas
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  • Profile picture of the author cheapskatemate
    Thanks for the tips guys. From what I've read, a lot of you are recommending the use of emotive language that targets the audience, and maybe dropping in some celebrity names. From Bretski and hines418, I get the feeling that a mild inducement of envy help too. Am I getting the right idea, or going off on a wrong tangent?

    Are there any ethical issues involved with using celeb names?

    I might need to re-read my ross jeffries flash cards document. It was a set of notes my friend gave me from a NLP course, and it contained a lot of tips for persuading people.

    EDIT: Found the flash cards on the net here: http://nlp.1centebookshop.com/nlpebo...inguistic).pdf
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    • Profile picture of the author bretski
      Originally Posted by cheapskatemate View Post

      Thanks for the tips guys. From what I've read, a lot of you are recommending the use of emotive language that targets the audience, and maybe dropping in some celebrity names. From Bretski and hines418, I get the feeling that a mild inducement of envy help too. Am I getting the right idea, or going off on a wrong tangent?

      Are there any ethical issues involved with using celeb names?
      Yeah....I would stay away from using celebrities names although if it was cool there are definiately a ton of celebs with little dogs who I am sure would dig fluffy hats....

      Basically I do anything to stand out from all the other crap out there...whatever I need to do short of lying to get someone to begin to read my article...boring sucks...interesting, shocking or pursuading titles get read, plain and simple....and then it's your job to actually deliver on what the title says. You can't just name an article "awesome fluffy dog hats" and then deliver a boring article...."well, they're fluffy...made of fluffy stuff...and they'll keep your dog's head warm or they'll look kind of cool maybe....that is if it doesn't piss your dog off and make him resent you or poop on the carpet because the other dogs laugh at him.."

      Ok...got a couple more....this is kinda fun!

      Fluffy Dog Hats - Cutting Edge Styles to Spoil Your Pup!

      Fluffy Dog Hats - Insane Styles That Will Make The Cat Suicidal

      Fluffy Dog Hats That Your Dog Will Dig For Sure!
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  • Make your title a call to action, just like everything else in your layout. A call to action is getting your visitors to do something...to get to the next step. Encourage them to move by adding calls to action in your title such as action words like "view", "connect", and "join".
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  • Profile picture of the author jointaldc
    5 Top Tips To Getting the Best Fluffy Dog Hats
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  • Profile picture of the author hometutor
    Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

    Man Blames 4-Hour Erection on Fluffy Dog Hat.

    "It was like magic when I put it on..."
    ROFLMAO Sorry I just had to reply to that one instead of a thank you for making laugh aloud at Starbucks

    Rick
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Moffatt
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