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Please Critique My Site- Doesn't Matter If You Are Harsh Once You Are Honest

by yesacpow
9 replies
Thread Closed Thanks to all who commented.
#critique #harsh #honest #matter #site
  • Profile picture of the author Mike Williams
    The word "Can" is missing from this phrase: "Now You Finally"

    You use the phrase "step by step" I think three times on the first page. That's too much.

    You capitalized stuff that shouldn't be capitalized in the first sentence and you have a "Dear Friend" in the middle of your copy.

    I only spent 60 seconds on it but that's all I got so far. I do like your header graphics, though.

    I think it will convert because the price is really down there, but I can't say at what rate.
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    • Profile picture of the author Collette
      The headline and copy is very generic. There are lots of natural cures for acne out there - toothpaste, apple cider vinegar, baking soda and lemon juice paste, yada, yada. Nothing pops out at me that says, "This is something you never heard of"

      You need to give more of a hint as to what it is NOT, but without revealing what it IS.

      I'd suggest building a unique story around the cure itself. "3,000 year old 'mystery plant' cures acne for good - and it could be in your pantry right now!" or some such.
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    • Profile picture of the author yesacpow
      Originally Posted by Mike Williams View Post

      The word "Can" is missing from this phrase: "Now You Finally"

      You use the phrase "step by step" I think three times on the first page. That's too much.

      You capitalized stuff that shouldn't be capitalized in the first sentence and you have a "Dear Friend" in the middle of your copy.

      I only spent 60 seconds on it but that's all I got so far. I do like your header graphics, though.

      I think it will convert because the price is really down there, but I can't say at what rate.

      Thank you very much fixing those right now
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Lockwood
    "14 Days Acne Cure" should really be "14 Day" but I'm not sure how many people will notice that.

    There also may be a regulatory issue with the word "cure" - it's usually best to not make it sound like your product can cure a medical condition. If it were me I'd go with something like "clear up". But I'd ask a lawyer.

    Do you have any before/after photos? Those would be a great addition.
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  • Profile picture of the author zartania
    Suggestions:

    Change first line of header from "Discover How You Can Finally Clear Your" to "Discover How To Clear Your"

    Place buy button above the fold. Give the visitor a chance to buy without going through all of your sales copy. Place buy button several times throughout the copy.

    Consider e-mail capture.
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    • Profile picture of the author yesacpow
      Originally Posted by zartania View Post

      Suggestions:

      Change first line of header from "Discover How You Can Finally Clear Your" to "Discover How To Clear Your"

      Place buy button above the fold. Give the visitor a chance to buy without going through all of your sales copy. Place buy button several times throughout the copy.

      Consider e-mail capture.

      Thank you. Just did that
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  • Profile picture of the author MicahF7
    You should make the background a different color... There is so much white.
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  • Profile picture of the author write-stuff
    I guess my biggest question regards the product itself. Since the vast majority of "natural cures" being marketed do nothing, are you sure this one really works?
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