Please Critique My Site

32 replies
Hi guys just about finished satting up a small site, would like you guys to critique it please.

The video's will be added later on tonight and the handbook will be uploaded tonight.

Nitro T1 Snowboard

thanks.
#critigue #site
  • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
    Ok LD, thanks for the heads up, sorry if I have unintentially broken the rules mods.

    Won't happen again!
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  • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
    Why would this be deleted I have seen hundreds of site critique threads and this one seems fine.

    Originally Posted by LD Carter View Post

    Don't take this the wrong way, but your thread is probably gonna be deleted.
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    • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
      My 2c worth. It's bland. You need action shots, snow, snowboards - something to grab the eye and make me want to stop and read.
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      • Profile picture of the author jake244
        Originally Posted by rosetrees View Post

        My 2c worth. It's bland. You need action shots, snow, snowboards - something to grab the eye and make me want to stop and read.
        My thoughts exactly.
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      • Profile picture of the author macgeek
        Originally Posted by rosetrees View Post

        My 2c worth. It's bland. You need action shots, snow, snowboards - something to grab the eye and make me want to stop and read.
        I agree... Need action shots!!
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        • Profile picture of the author BillyBee
          I like the layout and site structure, but you're not following any of the proven copywriting techniques

          No compelling headline, for one thing.

          And naming your book a "Handbook" is a very poor choice. Too generic and means nothing. You need to pitch a benefit of some kind.

          Basically, you have nothing going for you in the way of words on your site. And think about it --- all we have, pretty much, is words to get people to buy. Pictures can help but they don't count as much as words. Videos can be powerful, but the videos that sell employ the same copywriting techniques that are missing from your presentation.

          It all comes down to copywriting, and you don't even have the basics.

          Nothing wrong with that, don't take it personally; you just didn't know any better. So get educated and you'll give yourself a lifetime of income.

          Congrats on getting this far. You deserve a lot of credit!
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      Originally Posted by Cathy Shelver View Post

      Why would this be deleted I have seen hundreds of site critique threads and this one seems fine.
      I was just thinking the same thing. The OP's selling snowboarding stuff.

      Have I missed something in the rules about people politely asking to have their site looked at?

      Not starting an arguement but I thought this was ok.
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    • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
      Originally Posted by LD Carter View Post

      When I asked this very same question, they accused me of self-promotion and deleted my thread. I thought the same thing applied to everyone....
      I guess it should apply to everyone. Was your site a MMO site or an unconnected niche like this one?

      I'm just wondering if critiquing a marketing product on a marketing forum is deemed as self promotion but in this case it's pretty unrelated.

      I'm interested because I had people look at a site I have that sells envelopes and that was fine.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
      Was your site IM or make money related.

      Was your site also in your signature.

      The big self promotion bit is when it looks linked to the Niche that the warrior forum makes its money from, and sells advertising for.



      Originally Posted by LED Carter View Post

      When I asked this very same question, they accused me of self-promotion and deleted my thread. I thought the same thing applied to everyone....
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  • Profile picture of the author David Louis Monk
    Well done! Nice simple site and the vidoes will help when you get them done and if you can put them on YouTube then those will bring business to your site.

    At first I was not sure about the red and black colour scheme and it is very much to taste. As others will say and if other colours are suggested you will have to try them out and split test to see which is better. As there are many pages this might not be so easily done as a standalone sales page. Nevertheless, this is a very good start and you should see some revenue from this.

    Some snow scenes to get the excitment and juices flowing would help liven the site up a little.
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    David

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    • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
      Hey guys thanks for the info.

      David, changing the colours should be pretty as the headers, navigation and footers are all produced from a master page which will change every page once changes are made to it.
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  • Profile picture of the author goindeep
    Robbing people is easier... :rolleyes:

    Dude...

    Best advice you can ever get. Life changing, in fact. For you.

    Stop trying to make money. Instead, start helping people.

    Your site screams: I want and NEED money NOW, pay me for anything, i am soooo desperate, ill do just about anything to get some your Credit Card details... Pleeeeease!!!!

    What your site needs to scream is: Snowboarding is as good as SEX !! Seriously dude!

    My name is Dwayne Patterson and im a Radical snow border from Canada!

    My life used to suck ass.. Majorly. Thats until my buddy Ken Rogers introduced me to the coolest sport on the planet. Snowboarding.

    Now everything is narley!

    See now that took me 30 seconds and even that is more believable then your site. You need some balls and some passion to go. Suck it up, keep growing and keep learning padre .

    p.s. re-read my wise words, if i was yoda thats what i would say.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
    Here is what I think.

    The colors are definately too much, or need to be broken with some pics or other colors.

    The font is old type writer style I don't like it.

    Your text is not lining up some of it in my browser is moving onto the bottom border and cannot be read.

    You need a header Logo With some ice and snow ..... Snow boarding colors to me would consist of crisp white and contrasting colors.

    Work on getting the site to look more proffesional.

    Also I see there is no sitemap on the site this Is the first thing I do on a site, it really is step one of SEO as far as I am concerned.
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  • Profile picture of the author tee_emm
    some more pics and a couple of videos would jaz it up a bit more
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  • Profile picture of the author 247Copywriter
    Your copy is poor even if all you're selling is an opinion.

    You state your name is Stephen Courtney a 26 year old male from Liverpool.

    Really? You know, I thought you were a girl with a name like Stephen. Say it isn't so!

    Too many mentions of 'I this, I that, I something else'.

    People are not interested in you... they're interested in themselves only.

    To introduce yourself, weave a short storyline into your content. People love stories, they find them compelling and naturally your readers will see themselves through your eyes, if you 'sell' them first on a story.

    Use many more cases of 'you' and 'your/s' instead of 'I'.

    You'll make more friends in a much shorter space of time if you take an interest in others.

    Switch the emphasis off yourself and realign / focus it more on your readers...

    If you do this, people will return more to your site but if you blatantly keep on jumping up and down shouting out, 'It's all about me, me, me."... those visitors will not return.

    Which option do you want?

    Also pay more attention to your blog post titles.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
      Thanks for all the constructive criticism guys, much appreciated. I will start working on new content and design right away.
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      • Profile picture of the author 247Copywriter
        Change this...

        Nitrot1snowboard.com helping you make decisions

        It reads... Nitrot 1

        Capitalize the 'T'.

        NitroT1snowboard.com helping you make decisions

        And the 'helping you make decisions' says nothing at all.

        Remember, every word you write, to anyone interested in exploring your site further, conveys an emotional experience on the part of the reader.

        Your readers upon reading something like this will instantly be saying to themselves in their own mind...

        "Should I stay or should I go?"

        If your words fail to connect with your readers mind directly from the very set go, they'll click out instantly. Which is a waste of your time and effort writing those words in the first place.

        Why? Because you want them to stay on your website for as long as possible... not click away from it.

        So, compel them with your word language to stay for as long as possible. You'll only hold their attention IF you use words in a manner which invites their emotions to become attached or glued to your website.

        Always think carefully about your words used and the emotion they carry from sentence to sentence. Paragraph to paragraph.
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  • Profile picture of the author kuzmo1
    Hi

    It's a good start and a lot better than my first site was!

    I'm a snowboarder and I visit a lot of snowboard sites. You should take a look around at some of them for some ideas.

    And I agree what a few others have said about how it needs to have more of a cool look about it.

    An easy way to do this would be to get a header with a snowboard action shot image.

    If this is something you can't do yourself, get over to fiverr.com as there are plenty of people there who can do this for you.

    But at least your making an effort so keep going!
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      You've had some good feedback, so I'll only add this single bit...

      Your main post says you've just been introduced to snowboarding, only been at it a total of 12 months, right? Yet you offer a guide you've been spending months pouring all your knowledge into? So what you tell people is that you want them to download a manual that took months to write by a guy who has barely one season of experience. And is flogging equipment on commission.

      Tell the truth...

      If you stumbled into your site, would you have a lot of confidence in anything the site owner recommended?
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      • Profile picture of the author goindeep
        I feel like being a bit of a baby and having a sook cos you have not responded to what i said.

        Let me paint a picture for you;

        Dude, my name is Tyler

        im 18 years old, i LOVE to shred snow and learn new tricks. And i love to get my drink on afterwards with all the snow bunnies how can you help me man?

        You need to focus on the end user. Otherwise you are completely waisting your time and energy.
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        • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
          Hey Andrei, sorry if you feel left out man, lol.

          Just been busy on other things, I know what you mean and I am in the process of starting to rewrite the content.

          Thanks for the help.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Hlatky
    I would like to see some pictures up there. Snowboards, people snowboarding, snow, mountains, etc.

    Also, your colors are just kinda "blah". Make it exciting!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
    What do you guys reckon on this little idea. I was thinking instead of having a 5 page site to just have a one page review of the nitro t1 snowboard, I am already ranked at position 1 for that term?

    Any ideas?

    Thanks,
    Ste.
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  • Profile picture of the author stews
    Site looks good, Since I'm fairly new also I would be interested what process you plan on using to drive people to your site.
    Good Luck
    Stew
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  • Profile picture of the author Colin Palfrey
    Hi New-Guy,

    It reads like a confession. Seriously, It just needs a mug shot.

    I suggest starting again completely with a totally different mindset. If you are going to break though to snowboarders you first need to really think about their mindset when searching online.

    Do they want to read an analysis of the sport by someone who appears to have never even seen snow? Alternatively wouldn't they rather have their enthusiasm rekindled, and see some wicked shots?

    At the very top of the page should be a picture of you with snowboard in hand, looking wind-blasted and loving every minute of it.

    I recommend either getting in the mind frame of someone that has just voluntarily launched themselves down a large and dangerous hill for fun, then writing this again.

    Also I have noticed that snowboarders are very visually orientated, so I would suggest making the site look more like a snowboarders scrapbook than an accountants wedding speech.

    Look at some snowboarding magazines and you will understand what I mean. It's all flashy pictures, videos, loud music and insanity.

    Sorry if I have offend you in anyway, but I am trying to drive home a point that will benefit you if you listen.

    My 2c,
    Colin Palfrey
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
      Hey colin, no offence at all mate. These criticisms are exactly why I started this thread. After all I am a newbee really so any feedback is much appreciated even if it does feel like a kick in the boll*cks, lol.

      Thanks for the input.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lucas Adamski
    Grey - black - red can be a good combination for specific niches.
    Definitely not good for the snowboarders More vivid, alive colors would help a lot like blue, yellow, orange or green. I would go away from grey or black and make it lighter. I think that the site structure is ok but few things could be always improved.
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    • Profile picture of the author dumbwitness
      I would have thought a bit more of a swirly, snowy, rip-curly type thing would be more suited to the target market?
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  • Profile picture of the author Colin Palfrey
    See this video. This is what snowboarding is, and how you need to portray it.


    Actually there are no in-video adverts so I would suggest sticking it at the top of your website and putting the words "Do You Want To Do This?" underneath it.
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    I write articles and eBooks - PM me for details!
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