1789 views, 208 url clicks but still no sales! Can someone help me w/ my embarrassing landing page?

15 years ago

How many hops have you actually gotten to the vendor?

Originally Posted by cloudchaser22

I'm tired of just seeing 0 sales, I really want to improve and at least get one sale from writing articles! Can you help me w/ my landing page please? I think it's just because it sucks... Any kind of advice would be appreciated! Below is my website on acne:

Acne Website - Natural Cures for Acne

Thanks
1 reply

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A Blog With Reviews, Drama, and a Few Swear Words.

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cloudchaser22 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jeremy Kelsall

How many hops have you actually gotten to the vendor?

Hey Mr. Jeremy Kelsall,

Um... how do you check this ("hops")? I installed Google Analytics and this is what I got as of yesterday:

* 197
Visits

* 273
Pageviews

* 1.39
Pages/Visit

* 79.70%
Bounce Rate

* 00:00:54
Avg. Time on Site

* 84.26%
% New Visits
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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- clint48 15 years ago
  
  cloudchaser22 I went to the affiliate page and saw there was a pop up to sign up, so maybe some of the visitors are signing up and the owner of the e-book will continue to send messages to them and they will eventually buy.
  
  Clint
  
  Thanks
  
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Jesus Perez

15 years ago

I'm not a copywriter...so take my advice with a grain of salt.

There is definitely a problem with your page if you're getting that many views and so few clicks. Try different layout and colors and test, test, test. Remove the word 'e-book' and replace it with 'report' or 'blueprint'...anything but e-book. Use less text...more bullets. Change the page color, bg color and header. Hell, even test without the header.

Throw in a testimonial from the guy's site.

Finally...try another affiliate. Maybe that guy's page is killing the conversion. It pretty long.

Thanks
2 replies

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Jeremy Kelsall

15 years ago

This might even be a decent niche to try a review type site with....

Thanks
1 reply

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OnlineMasterMind

15 years ago

Yeah, I'll tell you the problem

You have no headline! lol

Put one in and I guarantee you'll increase your conversions instantly.

You could always go with something like:

"WARNING: Abandon Everything You Thought You Knew About Eliminating Acne!"

Thanks
1 reply

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Originally Posted by OnlineMasterMind

Yeah, I'll tell you the problem

You have no headline! lol

Put one in and I guarantee you'll increase your conversions instantly.

You could always go with something like:

"WARNING: Abandon Everything You Thought You Knew About Eliminating Acne!"

OnlineMasterMind,

Aw man, this is great! I've never thought about that, thanks. I was just wondering though...doesn't this count as a headline?

No Prescriptions... No Over-the-Counters... 100% Natural!

Thanks

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Originally Posted by BlueSquares

I'm not a copywriter...so take my advice with a grain of salt.

There is definitely a problem with your page if you're getting that many views and so few clicks. Try different layout and colors and test, test, test. Remove the word 'e-book' and replace it with 'report' or 'blueprint'...anything but e-book. Use less text...more bullets. Change the page color, bg color and header. Hell, even test without the header.

Throw in a testimonial from the guy's site.

Finally...try another affiliate. Maybe that guy's page is killing the conversion. It pretty long.

Hey BlueSquares,

Thanks for your advice! Why not e-book though? It is an e-book that the vendor is selling. Maybe the guy is killing the conversions w/ a long sales page... but I've seen other long sales pages too and they do pretty well!

Thanks
1 reply

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Jesus Perez

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cloudchaser22

Hey BlueSquares,

Thanks for your advice! Why not e-book though? It is an e-book that the vendor is selling. Maybe the guy is killing the conversions w/ a long sales page... but I've seen other long sales pages too and they do pretty well!

Conversions increased for a few warriors when they changed from 'ebook' to one of the following:

Digital Report
Whitepaper
Downloadable Report
Virtual Book
Report
Guide
Instantly Downloaded Guide
Blue Print
Step by Step Guide

Not sure if this will impact your market.

You're right about salesletters. Some long ones do work. But switching affiliates definitely won't hurt.

Also...pay attention to Dixie's comments above. They make perfect sense.

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

yup, sorry to say, but your landing page does in fact suck...

The header I could barely read, and it looked like a rotting plumb with a mushroom growing out the top...

To be honest, it looked quite ameturish...

It doesn't look very professional to me...

and secondly, none of your affiliate links are cloaked... so I can tell right off that you are promoting affiliate products..

- Jared

Thanks
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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Originally Posted by webdesignhq

yup, sorry to say, but your landing page does in fact suck...

The header I could barely read, and it looked like a rotting plumb with a mushroom growing out the top...

To be honest, it looked quite ameturish...

It doesn't look very professional to me...

and secondly, none of your affiliate links are cloaked... so I can tell right off that you are promoting affiliate products..

- Jared

Webdesignhq,

Wow, this was harsh... But I thank you for your honestly rather than lying. I think it will help me grow stronger with IM. Haha, looks like a mushroom? It's a GRAPE! Anyway, what do you mean by an affiliate cloak? What is that?

Thanks

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Black Hat Cat Banned 15 years ago

Originally Posted by webdesignhq

and secondly, none of your affiliate links are cloaked... so I can tell right off that you are promoting affiliate products..

- Jared

YOU can tell he's promoting an affiliate product. The average acne sufferer doesn't even know what an affiliate product is.
- Thanks
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Ron Douglas

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cloudchaser22

I'm tired of just seeing 0 sales, I really want to improve and at least get one sale from writing articles! Can you help me w/ my landing page please? I think it's just because it sucks... Any kind of advice would be appreciated! Below is my website on acne:

Acne Website - Natural Cures for Acne

Your landing page really needs work.

At least you've figured out how to get traffic - that is really the hard part.

Now all you have to do is study what top affiliates are doing for this product and model your splash page after them. Just do a search for the product name to see what affiliate sites come up. Here's one I found which looks decent - acnefreein3daysreview.net

Get a professional looking template and give people a reason to click through to the affiliate site. An incentive and a call to action.

It would also be a good idea to give something away for free to build a list and then redirect to the sales page after the opt-in. At least then you'll have more than one opportunity to promote to your visitors.

Thanks
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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Ron Douglas

Your landing page really needs work.

At least you've figured out how to get traffic - that is really the hard part.

Now all you have to do is study what top affiliates are doing for this product and model your splash page after them. Just do a search for the product name to see what affiliate sites come up. Here's one I found which looks decent - acnefreein3daysreview.net

Get a professional looking template and give people a reason to click through to the affiliate site. An incentive and a call to action.

It would also be a good idea to give something away for free to build a list and then redirect to the sales page after the opt-in. At least then you'll have more than one opportunity to promote to your visitors.

Sup Ron,

Yeah I thought I was done working on it... but guess not. It really sucked because well, I didn't look at my Clickbank account for a week - all I did was write articles!

But today morning I checked but was hoping for a sale, but nothing! Lol... I guess I got the traffic down, I just need to work on getting this landing page straight. The reason I made it like this was I heard that to make a good landing page you need to:

1) Have a good header
2) Have a big picture where the visitor can click on
3) Make the middle part stand out (which is what I tried to do with the coral-colored margins)

Thanks

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Not to mention you are targeting a highly competitive niche... unless you are an 'authority site' or can get that type of traffic... you have some work on your hands...

- Jared

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Nato Guajardo

15 years ago

Originally Posted by webdesignhq

Not to mention you are targeting a highly competitive niche... unless you are an 'authority site' or can get that type of traffic... you have some work on your hands...

- Jared

The competition isn't the problem. I've sold several products in this very niche. It's definitely the copy in the landing page. It needs work.

Thanks
1 reply

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tiger325 15 years ago

to survive and make money in a highly competitive market you have to stand out and make customers feel like they NEED your product... why do they need your product? think think think
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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Originally Posted by webdesignhq

Not to mention you are targeting a highly competitive niche... unless you are an 'authority site' or can get that type of traffic... you have some work on your hands...

- Jared

Hey Jared again,

Man, I'm tired of hearing the phrase HIGHLY COMPETITIVE NICHE!

EVERY NICHE I GO INTO SEEMS TO BE "HIGHLY COMPETITIVE."

I mean, I wouldn't think that acne is as competitive as something like...

1) Sex
2) Internet Marketing
3) Weight Loss
4) Dating
5) Credit Card Debt
6) Forex Trading
7) Quit Smoking
8) Golf
9) Gambling
10) Get Ex Back

The reason I picked acne is because I really want to try and get a piece of the large pie...

It's basically because of a quote I heard from a guy named Chris Rempel:

But regardless, the point is to focus your effort in niches and markets where there is tons of demand. That way, who cares if you're only capturing 1% of the market over time? 1% of a huge market is a lot better than 100% of a niche with low traffic (or low potential profit).

Thanks
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sideserver

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cloudchaser22

It's basically because of a quote I heard from a guy named Chris Rempel:

But regardless, the point is to focus your effort in niches and markets where there is tons of demand. That way, who cares if you're only capturing 1% of the market over time? 1% of a huge market is a lot better than 100% of a niche with low traffic (or low potential profit).

I will respectfully disagree on this.

Low traffic does not equate to low potential profit. For instance, "baby showers" is a niche with mid-to-low traffic but high profit margins. Conversely, there are also hundreds of high search volume niches that convert very poorly, and I would think "acne" (at least ebooks pertaining to the subject) would be one of those. Just google "acne" and you'll see thousands of free sites and forums on the subject - many of those much more authoritative than your own site.

A good way to gauge whether niche will be profitable is to check adwords search ads for your keyword term. If there are a lot of ads on the niche - of which at least some are infoproducts - then you'll know you've struck gold.

Thanks

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Reverse your thinking and try to think like your customers...

- Jared

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jazzyjeff

15 years ago

cloud,

To me, I was turned off by the peach color of the background.

Come up with a great headline that can replace:

No Prescriptions... No Over-the-Counters... 100% Natural!

Get rid of the title Natural Cures For Acne...It doesn't jump out at you. Or, you can use a line from everyone's favorite scam artist Kevin Trudeau. I remember one of his books titles was "Natural Cures THEY Don't Want You To Know". Then he goes and talks about the drug companies and turning them into the bad guys.

Bottom line....it works, and makes people at least pick up the book to read.

Dude, you say on your site: "I can't start naming every negative thing acne does to us because I'm sure you experienced some bad acne days."

You actually should do that because you create a relationship with the reader by ramping up their problem. They can then relate to you and say hey, this guy has been through what i've been through and he is suggesting this solution (ebook), so I should go check it out. I mean, just come up with all these problems that they have been through like, getting made fun of in junior high, getting rejected on dates...etc.. make them feel the pain.

Also, throw in some testimonials from the internet/ forums that have used the product.

Ok, hope this helps.
Jeff

Thanks

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Nato Guajardo

15 years ago

Too many clicks to get to the clickbank pay page.

Might want to bypass the seller and send them straight to the pay page. Several are probably opting in through the salesapage.

Thanks

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Li Weng

15 years ago

You headline is way too small and there is no clear strong call to action.

You have too much text or too much text crammed together and the font size is again too small. People don't like to read chunky blocks of text. Try separate them and have mini-headlines to highlight the "KEY BENEFITS". You have to be benefit-driven, think in your customers shoes.

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Sideserver,

Hmmm... that's true. I guess acne a very competitive niche that I'm in. Argh!! I don't know if I should keep going now or switch to another niche. :/

Thanks

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GarrieWilson

15 years ago

Make it match the look and feel of the actual site so people dont think they are on something totally different.

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Naw... I'm going to stick with this. I'm tired of changing what I'm doing. Even though acne is a highly competitive niche, I'll stay persistent with this for another month. I just need to change up the landing page and work on my pre-sell.

Thanks everyone for all your inputs!

Thanks
1 reply

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Floyd Fisher 15 years ago

I'm glad you want to stick with this, but your approach seems way off to me.

If I were doing this, I'd be building a list and requiring them to opt in first before sending them off to the merchant.

Let's think about this logically for a minute.

There are a ton of products you could cross sell to a crowd like this:

-dating products
-beauty cremes
-grooming products
-the list goes on and on.....

That gives you almost infinite chances to get them to buy something!

But you can't do that, if you're just sending them off to the merchant now can you?!?!

Change that bad boy to a squeeze page, and presto! Now you get the second, third, fourth, and so on chances to get a sale out them.

Don't wait, do it now!

Do it now!
- Thanks
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GarrieWilson

15 years ago

I wanna follow up on what Floyd said.

Dont FORCE the opt-in. Make it optional but tell them you will give them "5 tips for better skin" or whatever for opting-in.

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L.Roman 15 years ago

I feel you, but not making sales is part of making sales...See your traffic source first!. Where are you getting traffic from? Is that traffic source going to actualy produce sales? Try to focus on posting your URL on places that are actually going to bring you sales. Posting on IM forums will not bring you sales!, Look outside that box.

PS: Search for forums related to your sales page. Join that commuinity and your sales will improve...
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Dixiebelle

15 years ago

Originally Posted by cloudchaser22

I'm tired of just seeing 0 sales, I really want to improve and at least get one sale from writing articles! Can you help me w/ my landing page please? I think it's just because it sucks... Any kind of advice would be appreciated! Below is my website on acne:

Acne Website - Natural Cures for Acne

************************************************** ********
Listen up Cloud: I thought someone else would be able to help you but obviously everyone else missed the problem. There are 3 reasons you are not making any money - and never will with this setup.

1. Your landing page needs a lot of work. There are a lot of really good web designers and graphics designers on this forum. Find one.

2. Chris Gibson's site was not designed for anyone to make any money but him. There is one very obscure, out of the way, buy button at the bottom of his long sales letter, so that he can't be accused of not trying to sell the book. Selling the book wasn't what his site was designed for. He is capturing names and email addresses of everyone you send before they can even get half way down the page, with the promise of 5 days of free tips. I don't blame them - I wouldn't buy either if I could get everything in 5 days for free. This site was designed to build a list.

3. If by some chance, a person was dumb enough to read all the way to the bottom of the page, and decide they would rather pay $37.00 for an ebook as opposed to opting in for the 5 free days, you still wouldn't make an affiliate commission. If you scroll all the way to the bottom of his site, and click on the Clickbank page, as if you were going to pay, and scroll down to the bottom of that page, you will see that it says "affiliate=none". I'm sure you know what that means. You will get nothing from each purchase.

I opted in for the freebie to see what would happen. I received the email with tip #1 and the link in it to buy the book. So I went to the Clickbank page, in the email, and like before, and guess what?....Affiliate=none.

It is just my opinion, but I would call this a scam. He doesn't intend for you or any other affiliate to make a commission at all.. I would call Clickbank and find out who removed my affiliate link.

I don't think I would want to sell a product for someone that made it a point of capturing the information of everyone I sent to them without giving me a chance to try to earn a commission. I would drop this like a hot potato and find a merchant and product that was worth my time and efford.

Good luck Cloud. You deserve it. I know that you are a new marketer, and you have worked hard on this project, and I really hate seeing someone being treated this way.

Dixie

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

5:00 AM,

Hey guys, I just woke up to start writing and WOW thanks for all this great advice! I didn't expect this... thank yooou so much! I'll put this to use immediately...

P.S. The below post was kind of scary, is it true??!?

Originally Posted by Dixiebelle

************************************************** ********
Listen up Cloud: I thought someone else would be able to help you but obviously everyone else missed the problem. There are 3 reasons you are not making any money - and never will with this setup.

1. Your landing page needs a lot of work. There are a lot of really good web designers and graphics designers on this forum. Find one.

2. Chris Gibson's site was not designed for anyone to make any money but him. There is one very obscure, out of the way, buy button at the bottom of his long sales letter, so that he can't be accused of not trying to sell the book. Selling the book wasn't what his site was designed for. He is capturing names and email addresses of everyone you send before they can even get half way down the page, with the promise of 5 days of free tips. I don't blame them - I wouldn't buy either if I could get everything in 5 days for free. This site was designed to build a list.

3. If by some chance, a person was dumb enough to read all the way to the bottom of the page, and decide they would rather pay $37.00 for an ebook as opposed to opting in for the 5 free days, you still wouldn't make an affiliate commission. If you scroll all the way to the bottom of his site, and click on the Clickbank page, as if you were going to pay, and scroll down to the bottom of that page, you will see that it says "affiliate=none". I'm sure you know what that means. You will get nothing from each purchase.

I opted in for the freebie to see what would happen. I received the email with tip #1 and the link in it to buy the book. So I went to the Clickbank page, in the email, and like before, and guess what?....Affiliate=none.

It is just my opinion, but I would call this a scam. He doesn't intend for you or any other affiliate to make a commission at all.. I would call Clickbank and find out who removed my affiliate link.

I don't think I would want to sell a product for someone that made it a point of capturing the information of everyone I sent to them without giving me a chance to try to earn a commission. I would drop this like a hot potato and find a merchant and product that was worth my time and efford.

Good luck Cloud. You deserve it. I know that you are a new marketer, and you have worked hard on this project, and I really hate seeing someone being treated this way.

Dixie

Thanks
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rosetrees 15 years ago

I just tried the buy link at the bottom of the sales page and I see affiliate = cchtl. So it's working ok for me.

This is the exact problem that was the subject of a thread here a few days ago, isn't it. Sometimes affiliate is appearing and sometimes it says none.
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Centimetro

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Dixiebelle

Chris Gibson's site was not designed for anyone to make any money but him. There is one very obscure, out of the way, buy button at the bottom of his long sales letter, so that he can't be accused of not trying to sell the book. Selling the book wasn't what his site was designed for. He is capturing names and email addresses of everyone you send before they can even get half way down the page, with the promise of 5 days of free tips. I don't blame them - I wouldn't buy either if I could get everything in 5 days for free. This site was designed to build a list.

I just want to reemphasize this, because in my opinion his tactics screw his affiliates with no warning and no regard.

I don't like it. My girlfriend who wanted to start in internet marketing promoted it a bit and while it did initially seem to convert somewhat well (somehow), her initial luck NOSEDIVED and I decided to investigate. His page is NOT set up for you to make a sale.

It's set up to build his mailing list, which isn't in itself an automatic deal-breaker. I investigated further, and what broke the deal was that after I signed up for his list, I was HORRIFIED to see that he began to promote OTHER acne products to his subscribers, BARELY mentioning his book as an afterthought, basically killing your chances of making the sale.

He should just make his affiliate program pay per lead instead of pay per sale. Because he does not want to help you sell the book. I'm not even convinced he wants to sell it himself.

If it were a more straightforward page, the conversion would KILL. But he mucks it up because its more profitable for him to build a list and sell other products than to sell his ebook.

He craftily has it listed in affiliate networks just to "trick" affiliates into sending him hard earned traffic, I'm sure.

Oh, and to boot, on his main page that many visitors will likely return to, "acnefreein3days.com", the order is NOT processed through clickbank, so clickbank affiliates are SUPER screwed (he has the product listed on his own network as well. the clickbank page is actually "acnefreein3days.com/c/")

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GarrieWilson

15 years ago

Dixie,

It shows an affiliate when I click order.

As far as building a list, I had to look for the opt-in form. There is only one and it doesnt jump out.

Garrie

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doop 15 years ago

I'm no pro copywriter but i see several issues...

1. No headline! The first thing i see i large un-inviting slabs of text which seem difficult to read.

2. Your header graphic is UNINTERESTING - not trying to offend you but this is the first thing people see - and it's been proven that people have an EXTREMELY SHORT attention span - just think of people watching tv and flicking through channels - you only have about 7 seconds to draw the reader in.

SO

Put in a POWERFUL HEADLINE and an equally INTERESTING HEADER GRAPHIC!

Next separate you copy into short paragraphs or bullets.

Best thing i can suggest is do a quick look on the clickbank marketplace for other acne products and model your sales copy on them.

Here are the top 2 selling products:

Acne Free in 3 Days - Get rid of Acne & Pimples Natural Acne Treatment Home Remedy for Zits Blackheads
Acne No More™- Cure Acne Holistically

See how they do it and "model" your page on them - why re-invent the wheel?

For more info on successful copywriting i've just finished watching an awsome video series at:

CopyDaddy.com

Hope it helps!

Good luck!
- Thanks
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nicholasb

15 years ago

just focus on building your list. OFFER SOMETHING OF VALUE TO YOUR READERS FOR OPTING IN.

make it their only option opt in or go home.

offer them a free report that adds real value to your reader to build a relationship with them first.

then direct them to your products after they have opted in.

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charlesburke

15 years ago

Hi Cloud,

There are a couple of simple things you can do to quickly change the tone and feel of your page.

1. Change that header graphic to something with smiling, happy people. This gives a warmer, more human feeling instantly.

2. Put up a headline that suggests some desireable benefits. It doesn't have to be huge, long and rambling, but it should tell the visitor they're on the right track. You've already received one or two excellent suggestions in this thread.

3. Ditch that first paragraph entirely. The first thing the visitor needs to read is not all the things you're not going to do. That really detracts -- it makes them more likely to question your motives, not less.

4. Just start from "Acne happens to everyone at some point..." and go from there.

5. Use your spell checker. Or have somebody proofread your copy. Especially your use of apostrophes.

6. I don't mean to be harsh here, but the tone of your letter sounds "forced hearty" like you're pushiing too hard to be their buddy. Tone that down and try for a softer, more "trusted advisor" kind of sound. You might consider using quotes from authorities as you simply report what they're saying on the topic. Try to be slightly low-key and factual. Think how you'd talk with your kid sister if she came sobbing to you with her acne problem. Make your copy feel like that.

So these are a few quick things you can easily do to upgrade your site.

And while you're at it, you might also want to look around for an alternative product to send your visitors to. Have two different pages. Turn one on for a week and send visitors to this product, then switch to the other page and send them to the other product for the next week. This isn't as good as having an automatic script to do your split testing, but it's cheap and gives you more data than doing nothing.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

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L.Roman 15 years ago

After you fixed everything everyone said, check your traffic source. You could have a perfect page but your traffic sucks, jet and still, you can have a shitty page and great traffic source and convert on sales...But you still need to fix what the other suggested...
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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

Hi Cloud Chaser,

I had a few moments, so I did a basic landing page design for you. I left your original links in.

Some of the posters suggest you build a list. So I just placed a blank aweber form to give you an idea of the formatting.

Feel free to use it if you want.
The Acne Cure

Regards,
Michelle

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3 replies

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mudmat

15 years ago

Originally Posted by MichelleGreene

Hi Cloud Chaser,

I had a few moments, so I did a basic landing page design for you. I left your original links in.

Some of the posters suggest you build a list. So I just placed a blank aweber form to give you an idea of the formatting.

Feel free to use it if you want.
The Acne Cure

Regards,
Michelle

Hi Michelle,

It's kind of you to help cloud chaser. I took a look at the landing page that you did.

It is basic but you get the message across very well! I would love to have a landing page like that..

Hmm.. You must know something about the acne niche to be able to conjure up a landing page like that.

Cloud chaser, you should thank her!

Thanks

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Jenni Mac

15 years ago

Originally Posted by MichelleGreene

Hi Cloud Chaser,

I had a few moments, so I did a basic landing page design for you. I left your original links in.

Some of the posters suggest you build a list. So I just placed a blank aweber form to give you an idea of the formatting.

Feel free to use it if you want.
The Acne Cure

Regards,
Michelle

Hi Michelle

Obviously I'm not Cloudchaser and I'm not going to use this landing page, but I'd like to thank you for putting it together! You creating this page is really so genrous and what this place is all about when it's working great!

My "Warrior Wow Moment" of the day!

Sure Cloud will come along and thank you him/herself!

Thanks

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Ken Leatherman

15 years ago

Originally Posted by MichelleGreene

Hi Cloud Chaser,

I had a few moments, so I did a basic landing page design for you. I left your original links in.

Some of the posters suggest you build a list. So I just placed a blank aweber form to give you an idea of the formatting.

Feel free to use it if you want.
The Acne Cure

Regards,
Michelle

Michelle,

I just can't let your generous help go unnoticed.

Actually a lot of folks have helped here. Again one of those threads from which many Warriors could benefit. Every one of you Warriors are to be commended

Cloud I would also like to commend you for making the decision to stick with it. You have shown your willingness to persevere, which is a lesson within this lesson. But best of all you listened and took action now.

Thumbs Up to you my friend.

Ken
The Old Geezer

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mudmat

15 years ago

Oops! I thought Michelle also wrote the content to the landing page that she created..

I just saw cloud chaser's landing page. Michelle actually put a headline, use a very basic landing page style and give the proper spacing to the paragraph so it becomes easier to read.

The message comes across very well even though it is a basic setup.

Superb!

Thanks

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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

Yea Mudmat, I just used everything from Cloud chaser's page.

This way, if he/she wants to use it, they can just download it and make any changes.

If you like it, feel free to use it as well.

Regards,
Michelle

[ 2 ] Thanks

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mudmat

15 years ago

Thanks Michelle!

It is really really helpful of you..

Thanks again!

Thanks

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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

My pleasure Mudmat

Michelle

Thanks

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Michael Lee

15 years ago

Ah, I see where the problem may lie.

Aside from having no headline and bullet points, you don't have your own opt-in form where you can establish a relationship and follow up with subscribers - as many times as you like.

You could study my landing page here, where I'm targeting the same niche:
Free Acne Treatment | Acne Diet | Acne Cures | Acne Solutions | Best Acne Treatment

And yes, I'm making some sales, so it's working.

Thanks

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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

Hi Jenni,

Thanks, I don't post that much, but when I see something that I can quickly do to help someone out, I don't mind...plus it's helping to keep me away from sitting on the sofa and watching the Time Vault (TV) during my 'lunch break".

If you want to use the page, feel free to do so...just make sure to save the images to your hard drive so you can upload them to your server.

and I like that... "A Warrior Wow Moment".... pretty cool :-)

Michelle

Thanks

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aspiepower

15 years ago

Where are the pretty girls? And the hunks?

Acne-ridden boys and girls want to see the hotties they will be able to get with once they're acne-free.

Show them the goodies!

Thanks
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cloudchaser22 15 years ago

6:00 PM,

Sorrry, I'm still adding finishing touches and will post up my new landing page ASAP! In the meantime, I just wanted to say thanks everyone again for helping me out. Whatever positive or negative things I got, I'll be sure to use that towards improving and making my page better!

Anyway, this is what I gathered so far from the feedback on my embarrassing landing page. Hopefully my mistakes can help others learn as well if you are currently testing out a landing page !

How to Make a Landing Page: A Critique for Newbies

Acne Website - Natural Cures for Acne

Pros
-At least you've figured out how to get traffic - that is really the hard part
-His copy's not bad

Flaws
-Remove the word 'e-book' and replace it with 'report' or 'blueprint'...anything but e-book
-Change the page color, bg color and header. Hell, even test without the header
-You have no headline!
-You headline is way too small
-too much text crammed
-Your header graphic is UNINTERESTING
-tone of your letter sounds "forced hearty"
-you don't have your own opt-in form where you can establish a relationship

Criticism
-yup, sorry to say, but your landing page does in fact suck...
-To be honest, it looked quite ameturish...
-It doesn't look very professional to me...
-First get rid of your header... it's terrible
-To me, I was turned off by the peach color of the background.
-your page seems so unprofessional that it might lead someone to believe that you are not honest

Ways to Improve
-none of your affiliate links are cloaked... so I can tell right off that you are promoting affiliate products..
-give people a reason to click through to the affiliate site. An incentive and a call to action
-make customers feel like they NEED your product... why do they need your product?
Think
-less is always more
-Smaller paragraphs (only 2-3 sentences each and no more than 5 lines)
-highlight the "KEY BENEFITS
-think in your customers shoes
-Put in a POWERFUL HEADLINE and an equally INTERESTING HEADER GRAPHIC!
-Come up with a great headline
-throw in some testimonials from the internet
-Where are the pretty girls? And the hunks?

Uncertainties
-Maybe that guy's page is killing the conversion. It pretty long.
-maybe some of the visitors are signing up and the owner of the e-book will continue to send messages to them and they will eventually buy

Challenges
-you are targeting a highly competitive niche
-maybe some of the visitors are signing up and the owner of the e-book will continue to
-send messages to them and they will eventually buy
-Too many clicks to get to the clickbank pay page
-Selling the book wasn't what his site was designed for. He is capturing names and email addresses of everyone you send before they can even get half way down the page, with the promise of 5 days of free tips
-It is just my opinion, but I would call this a scam

Humor
-The header I could barely read, and it looked like a rotting plumb with a mushroom -growing out the top...
-The header image has to go. It's either some sort of really creepy medical close-up or it's fruit.
-Chris Gibson should go and see a doctor.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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- sylviad 15 years ago
  
  I hadn't clicked over to the sales page before. It's way too long for a $37 book. It wouldn't surprise me if people just gave up half way through - as I did. (got tired of reading).
  
  You might want to contact the seller and recommend that he add "Order Now" text links at a few intervals down the page. The Order Now link would go to the bottom of the page to the Order Button.
  
  Check the product out on CB Trends to see how it's doing. I see it's been on the market for a year but it's popularity hasn't improved much since just after it was launched.
  acnefree :: Acne Free In 3 Days. ClickBank Product ID: acnefree Performance History
  
  This will give you some indication of the product's success. There must be a reason affiliates have dropped off.
  
  Sylvia
  
  Thanks
  
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cloudchaser22 15 years ago

9:05 PM,

K guys, thanks for everything! I've tried putting your suggestions into this new acne landing page!! The link is below, I'm so excited about it b/c it took the entire afternoon! Do you think it's any better?

http://www.acne-free-in-just-3-days.info/
- Thanks
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BigRedNotebook

15 years ago

Five quick thoughts...

1. Acne is crowded. That doesn't mean you need to avoid it, but it does mean that you're going to have to grab visitors by the throat if you want to turn them into buyers. You need to stand out in a big crowd.

2. The ebook graphic is weak. That's not your fault (I know it's the one the publisher provides), but it does hurt. You're better off using some alternate image instead of the publisher-provided graphic in this case.

3. You paragraphs, visually, are too "dense". You're running with a relatively small font size and "thick" text. More white space will increase visual appeal, which could cut down on your bounce and increase hops.

4. The yellow highlighting seems to border on random. I don't think "you still get acne" is the kind of core message you want to reinforce.

5. The header image has to go. It's either some sort of really creepy medical close-up or it's fruit. Either way, it's not making me feel like "this is the person who's going to point me toward a cure for my acne".

Thanks

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Mike Hill

15 years ago

First get rid of your header... it's terrible. Secondly remember that less is always more. Your text as it is now is so hard to read. You have to chop it into smaller paragraphs.

Here's a good example of an affiliate site http://www.onlinemeetingreviews.com/

Clean and easy to follow. The traffic is sent directly to the Compare page from Adwords.

Here are a few more examples of quality lead generation pages:

https://www.celebritysexyteeth.com/
http://www.celebritysexylips.com/

Notice anything?

Use these as examples. Don't copy it exactly, just use as an example of a quality affiliate landing page, etc...

Mike Hill

PS. There is a lot of fodder you can use on the products sales page that is much more interesting than what you have. At least include some before and after pics.

Thanks

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Maria M

15 years ago

Hi,
I am certainly not calling myself an expert, but your page seems so unprofessional that it might lead someone to believe that you are not honest, even though you are. People will see the product as they see the page; lacking in organization, interest...I am sorry to say this, but it seems as though you put it together in less than 30 minutes.

Buyers need to feel confident that they are purchasing something from a reputable vendor. Rethink the page: maybe some bullets; more paragraphs; more pleasing to the eye; but everything must flow.

I agree with another warrior that suggested you look at other similar pages that rank well and see how theirs is.

Good luck

Thanks

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

1:00 PM,

Hey guys!! This is incredible... I'm really thankful for your guy's help! I especially want to really, really, really thank MichelleGreene for spending her lunch helping me to create a landing page instead of eating her lunch. I didn't expect you to do that and you didn't have to, so here's your prize: *hug*.

I've been writing articles on acne since 5 AM, and so far I've only finished writing 4. I'm done with the chicken burrito right now, and I'm going to spend the next 5 hours implementing everyone's words, thoughts, and suggestions into creating a brand new, updated landing page that will hopefully help me make one sale! Any other tips or... whatever you guys want to say will be greatly appreciated. I hope this helps other newbies that are also wondering about "landing pages." Thanks again for all your guy's help!

As of right now: Acne Website - Natural Cures for Acne

I'll finish and post my result at 6:00 PM.

Thanks

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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

Thanks for the virtual hug...

and creating landing pages is also 'calorie-free' :-)

Enjoy
Michelle

Thanks
1 reply

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cloudchaser22 15 years ago

Originally Posted by MichelleGreene

Thanks for the virtual hug...

and creating landing pages is also 'calorie-free' :-)

Enjoy
Michelle

Hah! You're welcome Michelle
- Thanks
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sylviad

15 years ago

My first impression when I started reading is that if I had acne, I'd be more interested in knowing what to do about it. I don't want a history lesson unless you can link the causes into the cure.

You want to grab their attention from the start. Use curiosity - ask a question - invite the readers in rather than talk to them. Use any opportunity to get them to "participate" - thinking about questions you pose - considering a benefit or a tip you provide.

I would look at providing helpful tips about how to stop acne - (I don't know if this is true or not... this is just an example)

Did you know that coffee can trigger an acne outbreak? If you're a coffee lover, stopping can be a problem. You might try decaffeinated as it is less commonly linked to acne.
Sugar is a major problem for acne sufferers. Many foods are sugar rich, so cutting out sugar might not be as easy as you'd think. Try switching to more natural sweeteners like bee honey or artificial sweeteners.
Chocolate is another major contributor to acne outbreak. There are "chocolates" available that are made from other ingredients, like cocoa or try white chocolate which is less of a problem.

Set bullet points like that - short and to the point - but also helpful.

Then you can slide into a review of the product you are promoting. Focus on the benefits - how it will help - (ie: you can still eat whatever you want), see results in the first week - cured in a month. (whatever...)

Your writing is okay - just keep it short. Short sentences. Narrower paragraph widths. Smaller paragraphs (only 2-3 sentences each and no more than 5 lines long)

If you focus on those elements, you should get better results.

Sylvia

Thanks

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Heey sylviad,

This is some great advice. I'm compiling a list of everyone's thoughts on how to make a landing page. Hopefully it will help others out. I'll be sure to add your suggestions in - the thing I only can change a few things at a time... sorry. I'm almost done creating this new landing page of my acne. Thanks again for your thoughts!

Thanks

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cloudchaser22

15 years ago

Hi sylviad,

Yeah you have a good point. One of the other people here said he was doing it to get emails... I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not. But I've contacted him twice to ask for a complimentary review, but no response :/ I put so much effort in this niche, I'm going to keep trying until it pulls through...

Thanks

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duanecwilson

15 years ago

Let me chime in a little here. Now, I am no "guru". In fact, I will tell you that I have only taken in a little less than $1000 in a year and about half of that was expenses. So I don't really know a whole lot. I also never had acne and know little about it.

There are a few things I have found out, though:
1) The few sales I had came from landing pages that showed benefits bulleted and then features, not the other way around.
2) No paragraphs more than a few fairly short sentences at most.
3) A gripping headline.
All this has been handled above better than I could.
Also, what has not been talked about too much is your traffic. Obviously, you know how to get clicks. Maybe these more experienced marketers could help you better if you posted the articles/ads used. Did you use PPC? Or just articles? How did you get traffic to them?
Your effort so far is admirable. Most people fail for lack of effort and perseverence. What I am trying to learn myself is to work hard AND work smart.
I am quite inexperienced, but well read, so I am just trying to help - just a little, and so learn more myself. I have already learned much on this post.
One last thing - you mentioned that you don't know anything about link cloaking. I didn't either when I had my first sales. It will, however, possibly make you more professional, or knowledgeable, and may protect your profits slightly. I found the following link for a very simple, free affiliate link cloaker, and it works. I just found it yesterday, and it only takes a few minutes. I don't get anything out of it and I the site owner doesn't, either, as far as I know:
I haven't posted 15 posts yet, so I can't give you a link, but just convert the "DOT" and the "AT" to you know what. wwwDOTmeasuring-upDOTcomFORWARDSLASHhtml-toolsFORWARDSLASHprofit-protectorDOThtml. Free HTML Tool - Profit Protector Affiliate.
Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone.

Thanks

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e-mail2u

15 years ago

Had a little play with the landing page added some different features. This has a cloaked link my hop link just to show you plus it opens in a different way....

If you are worried about the seller is just catching customers e-mails don't link directly to their page just give an opt in for some free info like 10 top tips to cure your acne send one tip per e-mail.

Build your list not theirs, then in your follow up e-mails give links to other acne/skin care products.

The opt in is not live on this page..

Acne FREE in 3 Days

If you notice Michelle and my landing/sales page have the same layout as the sellers (design).

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jasondinner

15 years ago

Hey,

Your landing page still needs a ton of work my friend.

If that tiny thing in the blue strip is your headline, it's way too small.

You need to get rid of that blue background and the green hyperlink where your call to action is.

In fact, since this is JUST a landing page, you should be able to tell them everything you need
them to know in order for them to take your desired action ABOVE THE FOLD.

If you don't know what above the fold is, it basically means that your visitor shouldn't have to scroll
to see everything on the page.

here's an example of everything being above the fold.

http://marketingquestionsanswered.com (it's my site)

As you can see, my entire message is all above the fold.

You almost want to make your landing page look very similar
to the product who your promoting.

This way there is some sort of congruency.

Also, your page is just a landing page, so you want to keep your
message short, sweet, and to the point.

You're not offering any bonuses, so there's no need to write
paragraph after paragraph.

Just get to the point.

Tell them that they made a great decision by clicking from the article they just
read and they are about to FINALLY put an end to their embarrassing acne.

Steal a couple of bullets from the salespage and show a picture of a guy or girl
or both with the MOST AMAZINGLY CLEAR SKIN smiling as if there life couldn't
be any better.

And make sure this ALL is ABOVE THE FOLD.

And why not collect the name and email address while you're at it.

Maybe down the road you'll want to write your own acne cure ebook.

If you build a list, you can survey them and get some killer data straight from the horse's mouth.

They will literally tell you what they want you to sell them!!!!

Don't ever bunch sentences together the way you are on your page.

Give them a line break after 1 sentence, maybe 2.

Study copywriting. (get good at this and you will never struggle)

Gary Halbert's stuff is great and it's FREE - halbert newsletter archives

so is Gary Bencivenga's stuff - Bencivenga Bullets (also FREE)

There are great books too that cost money, but start with the above resources.

Gary actually tells you what books you should buy and read here:
The Gary Halbert Letter

I've been through 3 so far and I think I've gotten better at writing copy just from reading them.

And last but not least, study other people's landing pages in the same market for crying out loud!!!!

You'll know which ones are good and which ones are crap.

Hope this helps

Jason

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e-mail2u

15 years ago

Just looked at your new layout it's a lot better good to see you are using images from the sellers page.

One small point the text is still to small currently set at size 2 needs to be size 4 at least. You still need to cloak the affiliate link.

Thanks

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jasondinner

15 years ago

yeah,

i just saw your latest version too and it is night and day.

I wish I would have seen that before I wrote my long winded reply - DOH!!!!!

Jason

Thanks

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Louis Raven

15 years ago

Why have you wrote a sales page only to send them to a sales page, pre sell with your articles and send them to the affiliate link or redirect your homepage to the affiliate link.

Or better still.. collect their details with an opt-in and promote to them every day of the year lol.

Why are you building his business but still slumbing yourself?

Louis

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Li Weng

15 years ago

It looks a lot better now. A picture tells a thousand words. But I still think your font size is way too small. Perhaps you'd like to consider that.

Thanks

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MichelleGreene

15 years ago

Thanks Ken...just a contribution to a great forum...

and anyone who wants to promote this program is free to use the ecover I designed as well as the landing page :-)

Michelle

[ 1 ] Thanks
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cloudchaser22 15 years ago

e-mail2u, michellegreen

I have thanked you two.

jasondinner

Haha, sorry for that! I have thanked you for your efforts.

Louis Raven

I've tried pre-selling through writing articles and redirecting to affiliate link, but it doesn't work as well. This is why I created a landing page.

Li Weng

Great point. I have changed the font from 10 pt to 12 pt. It looks a little tacky now but I will have faith in your advice.

Ste25

Isn't 1% conversion rate a good thing?

Ken

Thank you. I hope this perseverance will pay off even when it "seems" like a challenging product to promote!

Thanks everyone who has helped, I can't give enough gratitude back I'm still not sure how to cloak an affiliate link using XSitePro2, it seems hard! Sorry again about the changes, I'm going to just try my best to keep improving everyday. I wish we were all in one time zone!!

Updated landing page: Acne Free in 3 Days - Get Rid of Acne Quick!
- Thanks
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radicals

15 years ago

I see that some people cloak their affiliate urls with TinyUrl. What is the views on that, or is this also unprofessional?

Thanks

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1789 views, 208 url clicks but still no sales! Can someone help me w/ my embarrassing landing page?

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