you're not my friend!

by mrmcd 30 replies
So... you want to find out....

Ok, here's the deal. I don't want to come across as rude, and I do see my
fellow warriors as my third family, but I want you to consider your friend
list.

I want to ask you an honest question..

Who's on your friend list, and what are they doing there..?? Just hang on, let me explain.

I like friends, and think that the forum friend feature is a valuable tool for networking
and getting to know fellow warriors, but all that value goes of having such a useful
tool goes to waste when everyone is asking to be friends!

Ok, once again, let me stress, those that are on my friends list, I like having you there,
and this is NOT a brake up , but I it would be great if we would use this feature for
people we are actually interested in getting to know and do business with. Or people

we somehow want to relate to, whether we like their posts or want to ask them for advice,
that is cool. But just going around adding every new member to your friend list
takes away the value of the people that matter on that list.

Do you get my drift..???

If you don't get me, then maybe it's a culture thing, but I don't want everyone on my
friends list, only those who actually pm me and are in contact with me.

Do you agree???

NOTE: You Need To Remove The Affiliate Links In Your Sig
#main internet marketing discussion forum #friend #friend feature #friend list
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  • Profile picture of the author cylwac
    I hear what your saying.

    It's not a popularity contest...well for most its not...for me it's about knowledge. If I can learn something from someone and their WILLING to share with me then all the better. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours kind of deal.


    Victoria
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    • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
      Originally Posted by cylwac View Post

      You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours
      thanks cylwac for your response!

      With the scratching thing, yes I think it's good, but if you have like 200 people on your friends list, you're going to run out of fingernails! Possibly, even toenails...
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      • Profile picture of the author writergirlk
        Though, I use the friends list as a way of getting to know people... I may not know you now, but I'll pay attention and participate in discussions, etc ...
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        • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
          Originally Posted by kohuether View Post

          Though, I use the friends list as a way of getting to know people.
          ...
          yes, I think a lot of other people here share your point of view. but I don't see it
          that way, that sort of thinking get's everyone onto your friendlist, it just takes away
          from the friendlist feature that can be used in a powerful way.

          I mean, if you have a handful of people that you're rubbing shoulders with, and everytime
          you login, you check your messages and repply to them and so forth, you're really going
          to learn from each other and grow a strong relationship that can be both rewarding socially and someting to cash in on in business.

          I think this tool is being wasted if you just go around adding everyone to your friendlist.

          I am not saying you can't do that, you can do whatever you like
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          • I'm glad the forum has this feature...but in my opinion, people are fixating too much on "what it means" to have someone as a friend. If a person turns out to be a scammer, they will be removed from the forum by the administrators. If they happened to have been on my friends list, does that mean that I knew about or condoned their scamming? Of course not!! It simply means they were on my 'friends list' on the forum; they might have turned out to be a newbie who has a whole lot to offer to the group.

            Do I have to know you well in order for you to be my friend? I like the idea of getting to know people better. This is one good way to do that. If you didn't choose to be on my friends list or whatever, so be it. (And I'm not talking about the OP...this thread just got me thinking about all the "why you're not on my friends list" threads I've seen so far.) I am not going to stress over who is and who is not on my friends list. It's a cool feature, but I suspect some are making a bigger deal about it than it has to be.
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            • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
              Originally Posted by Angela V. Edwards View Post

              I'm glad the forum has this feature...but in my opinion, people are fixating too much on "what it means" to have someone as a friend. If a person turns out to be a scammer, they will be removed from the forum by the administrators. If they happened to have been on my friends list, does that mean that I knew about or condoned their scamming? Of course not!! It simply means they were on my 'friends list' on the forum; they might have turned out to be a newbie who has a whole lot to offer to the group.

              Do I have to know you well in order for you to be my friend? I like the idea of getting to know people better. This is one good way to do that. If you didn't choose to be on my friends list or whatever, so be it. (And I'm not talking about the OP...this thread just got me thinking about all the "why you're not on my friends list" threads I've seen so far.) I am not going to stress over who is and who is not on my friends list. It's a cool feature, but I suspect some are making a bigger deal about it than it has to be.

              thanks Anela for your response. I hear what you are saying. Maybe I came across a little unclear in my post. Firstly, you are all welcome to deal with your friend list as you please, that's none of my business.

              Personally, I like the friendlist feature VERY MUCH, and that is why I started this tread. I want to preserve it to the people that I am in contact with. Not just anyone who is in the forum.
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              • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
                Ok, just one thing. Shouldn't there be at least some sort of interactions before you just go and add someone onto your friendlist. Like, at least find their forum writings helpful. Not just to add a name because they are not on your list.

                Maybe it doesn't matter, I guess I will just ignore some of the friend requests.
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              • Profile picture of the author John Rowe
                Originally Posted by mrmcd View Post

                You are all welcome to deal with your friend list as you please, that's none of my business.
                Thank you.

                To me this is simply a forum and not overly serious in any regard really.
                We come here to learn, teach, sell, buy, bitch, and to connect, etc.

                The friends section certainly isn’t life or death... one might even say...
                it’s... somewhat friendly.

                Heck, you ask to be my friend... you got it! I have no reason to reject
                you or anyone here on the Warrior Board.


                .
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                • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
                  I think we all know by now that you are who you hang around.
                  If you sum up all the people that you hang with, you'll get an honest average of who you are.
                  I bring that value to every part of my life and business, including forums.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Ray Erdmann
                    I've run across a few people who have an ungodly amount of 'friends' and it made me ask.."Do you really know all those people, or are you just trying to look important!".


                    Personally, I'll send you a friend invite if:

                    A. I've read a post of yours that I found extremely uplifting, or thought-provoking!
                    B. I've purchased your WSO
                    C. I've purchased your product
                    D. You're a beautiful woman and think you're single! ( Just kidding!)

                    Ray
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                    • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
                      Originally Posted by Ray Erdmann View Post

                      I've run across a few people who have an ungodly amount of 'friends' and it made me ask.."Do you really know all those people, or are you just trying to look important!".


                      Personally, I'll send you a friend invite if:

                      A. I've read a post of yours that I found extremely uplifting, or thought-provoking!
                      B. I've purchased your WSO
                      C. I've purchased your product
                      D. You're a beautiful woman and think you're single! ( Just kidding!)

                      Ray
                      That's the spirit!!
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                  • Profile picture of the author John Rowe
                    Originally Posted by mrmcd View Post

                    I think we all know by now that you are who you hang around. If you sum up all the people that you hang with, you'll get an honest average of who you are.
                    That’s a bold generalization to make and believe.

                    Maybe it’s useful, maybe not (depends on the context I
                    guess). Remember to credit your own strength too though.

                    You can always choose to find a bit more confidence in
                    your own ability to lead rather than to follow those you
                    befriend.


                    .
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                    • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
                      Originally Posted by John Rowe View Post

                      You can always choose to find a bit more confidence in
                      your own ability to lead rather than to follow those you
                      befriend.


                      .
                      Good, but I am not really referring to peer pressure. I am more referring to that we atrack the kind of people we are. So for instance, winners are attracted to winners, loosers to loosers...

                      BUT, I am not calling anyone here a looser!!!! Warrior family is great

                      But I've heard it being taught a lot, and I've seen it in my own experience. You know, eagles fly with eagles and chicken hang with chicken.
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                      • Profile picture of the author John Rowe
                        Originally Posted by mrmcd View Post

                        Winners are attracted to winners, loosers to loosers...
                        BUT, I am not calling anyone here a looser!!!! Warrior family is great
                        What's a looser? Is that anything like a loser?

                        I'm kidding of course. Thanks for the thread. Insightful for sure.


                        .
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              • Profile picture of the author Jelasco
                Originally Posted by mrmcd View Post

                Personally, I like the friendlist feature VERY MUCH, and that is why I started this tread. I want to preserve it to the people that I am in contact with. Not just anyone who is in the forum.
                OK, then don't accept requests from those who aren't good enough to be on your friends list. Problem solved.
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris W. Sutton
    Do I have to know you well in order for you to be my friend? I like the idea of getting to know people better. This is one good way to do that. If you didn't choose to be on my friends list or whatever, so be it. (And I'm not talking about the OP...this thread just got me thinking about all the "why you're not on my friends list" threads I've seen so far.) I am not going to stress over who is and who is not on my friends list. It's a cool feature, but I suspect some are making a bigger deal about it than it has to be.
    And here I thought I was something special! Now, I find out you will take just any ole person who comes stumbling down the pike! I'm just really not sure that I will be able to overcome THIS emotional letdown!
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    • Profile picture of the author Fabian Tan
      Definitely agree with what you're saying! It's a trivial thing though I guess. It happens with this 'social' thing going on the Internet. People just add friends or accept the friend requests and move on with their day.

      Fabian
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      • Profile picture of the author Ouroboros
        No one has really explained to me the value of a friend yet, so I asked someone that I did business with today, and somebody that shares a niche and an opinion with me.

        Perhaps at the end of the day I will have two friends...but they will be friends.

        I had these two guys that I didn't even know asking to be friends, and then when I was looking at these other's profiles, I noticed that both of themhad requested there as well.
        Is it possible to spam everybody asking for friends?

        I politely declined...

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Jelasco
          Originally Posted by Ouroboros View Post

          Is it possible to spam everybody asking for friends?
          No, because a friend request is not spam. It is a feature of the forum software. If someone knew in advance you would not accept, they probably would not send the request.
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          • Profile picture of the author vinnylingo
            People are going to send friend requests to whoever they want, for whatever reason. What I would like to see is any attempt at conversation before a request is sent. Something as simple as: "Hey, nice post in that thread over there." Anything to give me some indication of why you're making the request. Especially since I'm new and don't know who the heck any of you are.
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  • Profile picture of the author luckystar
    Realy iam not your friend, and i will never want to be one. Reason beign that you have no much to share with your friends.

    Going by your idea, you can form a team of friends with a force of acquiring new ones to dance to your tone.

    Remember, it is not getting friends matters rather keeping them. so, are you telling me that you can't keep them?
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    • Profile picture of the author Scott Ames
      It doesn't bother me at all if somone wants to be my friend on this site, myspace, facebook, whatever. Unless they do something that really bugs me, there is no reason for me to reject them. I don't think it hurts anything to have a big list of friends.
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      • Profile picture of the author BIG Mike
        Banned
        [DELETED]
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        • Profile picture of the author johntanyishin
          Well, that's better than having no one adding you as a friend.

          I don't mind adding strangers as friends, it's also a way to interact with new people. That's what internet is about, interaction, right?

          JTYS
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    • Profile picture of the author mrmcd
      Originally Posted by luckystar View Post

      Realy iam not your friend, and i will never want to be one. Reason beign that you have no much to share with your friends.

      Going by your idea, you can form a team of friends with a force of acquiring new ones to dance to your tone.

      Remember, it is not getting friends matters rather keeping them. so, are you telling me that you can't keep them?
      thanks for your comment lyckystar, but I think you miss understand my point. My goal here was not to get personal, but to use the friendlist feature to actually build a network of "friends" you ether learn from or "friends" that you're going to do business with.

      This thread is not about getting personal.

      If have a large friendlist, because you have a lot of friends here, then that's great.

      But if you have a large friendlist just because you add everyone to your friendlist, then I think you are not realy benefiting from this feature as much as you could. yes, you might get some exposure from being on others friendlist, but this tool can be more affective and usefully used.
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