Get Over Your Shyness

by Zeus66
14 replies
Two times this week, friends of mine have told me stories about how they took a big gulp and just approached people to sell their stuff. In one case, we're talking about a marketer pretty much everyone in here has heard of and who is very successful. But he's a bit shy for some reason. He told me about how he approached a fellow marketer (also a Warrior) to see if the guy would be interested in a JV. Looks like they're on their way to a very profitable venture. All because the one guy had the confidence to approach the other.

And both of these guys are people just about everyone reading these words knows and probably respects immensely.

In the other case, it was someone I know who is much less known in our community. But she has a lot of great ideas, is very genuinely nice and giving, and works very hard on her business. She has all the qualities that make for a great JV partner! I have told her this on many occasions, and we've even worked out plans for our own JV when I have more time. She finally decided to approach a big name in the business about her product to see if a JV was possible. And the answer was YES!

I just don't think a lot of you realize the potential that's right under your noses - if you'll just get over your shyness or your lack of self-confidence. Be PROUD of what you create! As long as it's high quality and something you know will really help people, get the word out. Don't be egotistical, of course, but the opposite of that is also bad for you. If you've got something to be proud of, get out there and approach your fellow marketers. Enlist them to help spread the word to their lists and just to people in general.

You'll be surprised by how willing a lot of us are to spread the word - as long as you really do have something helpful. Now, you have to have a thick skin about this, though. Not everyone you approach will even respond, let alone agree. A lot of it is timing. A lot of it is the offer you make them, the cost of your product, etc. But don't let that deter you! Get out there and reach out. It only takes one or two "players" agreeing to help you and you're on your way.

Even if you are naturally shy and self-deprecating, pretend you're not. I'm serious. Become someone else for the few minutes it takes to approach another marketer. Talk up your product. Sell it! Then you can go back to your normal self. Don't lie about it or about yourself, of course, but project your own pride in your product. Let your enthusiasm about its quality and how much it can help others shine through.

You're not bragging when you do that. You're being HONEST. There's nothing wrong at all with asking other marketers to help get the word out, especially if you offer to split the profits when they send to their list, or maybe even go 60-40 and take less yourself. The benefits to you are so much more than the money you earn that one time.

John
#joint venture #marketer #shyness
  • Profile picture of the author freemen14
    I totally agree with this post. I remember the first time I approached someone for a JV I was sweating down my back, lol, as I was typing the request email.

    As one fellow warrior stated in his blog. "don't let fear be your b_tch$%"
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  • John:

    I know a number of professionals in high-profile positions (guys who stand in front of rooms full of people and speak with authority) who are actually very, very shy. It's a bigger issue than many people realize.
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  • Profile picture of the author ForeignProfessor
    Originally Posted by Zeus66 View Post

    Even if you are naturally shy and self-deprecating, pretend you're not. I'm serious. Become someone else for the few minutes it takes to approach another marketer. Talk up your product. Sell it! Then you can go back to your normal self.

    This is a great post.

    I've quoted a specific part here, and it is kind of away from the main message, but it's something directly relevant to me and probably a lot of other people on the forum.

    The piece I've quoted above was summed up to me in sales training as "Fake it 'til you make it". This idea has often been twisted by people to mean "Lie about your product until you're rich". That's not what it meant.

    What it meant was exactly what Zeus said above: If you lack confidence.. F' it: Pretend you have it. Pretend you have confidence. Even if it's just for one PM, one post, one phone call, or one face to face. If you just PRETEND you have the wherewithal, chances are the recipient won't know you're 'faking'. They won't even care. If you act like you are confident, you ARE confident. And if your product or offer is good? Mission accomplished.

    Don't be shy folks. Go for it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rose Anderson
    Good post, John.

    I've always been a shy person, but when I performed as a magician/storyteller for library shows I could speak in front of 300 or 400 people. That's because I was in my "Ramblin' Rose the Magician" character.

    After reading your post I'm thinking maybe I need to create an IM/ghostwriter persona. Not fake, but perhaps more confident and out-going. Perhaps I'll make her a few years younger, too.....No wait....I guess that's off topic.

    Anyway, you make a valid point.
    rose
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    • Profile picture of the author Rockhamm
      Lol...love the reply Rose. And that's actually a great idea!

      Create another persona for yourself. Stay true to your roots, but be the person you've always wanted to be. Bring those characteristics out.

      The great thing about selling on the internet is that you don't have to actually have physical contact with your customers in order to sell to them. That leaves the avenue open to adapt your personality to your targeted customers' liking...and also, to your own personal liking.

      Shyness really is a B***H!! And it hinders more people than we will ever know.

      Cheers!
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      • Profile picture of the author ForeignProfessor
        Originally Posted by Rockhamm View Post

        Create another persona for yourself. Stay true to your roots, but be the person you've always wanted to be. Bring those characteristics out.
        This is so true. I'll give you two personal examples:

        (1) A few years ago, I spent a year as a carnie. And I was given the job of selling 'Lucky Numbers' tickets. It's like an instant lottery where you can win a big stuffed toy.

        The first day.. I was shy. Too shy. I didn't sell many tickets. Then.. I became.. Carnie. I embraced it. I started pitching people, then I started pitching crowds. I learned to work an audience and to get a run going. Although the odds of winning were only 1/50, if you had 50 people buying at once (bearing in mind people are buying multiple tickets), you could easily get a run going once you had a few customers. I went from $70 days to $5,000 days. (This is the value of the tickets, not what I was earning. Carnies aren't paid on commission.)

        Once I embraced the Carnie persona, I was confidence-man. Happily hawking to crowds and they loved it. And, strangely to me, so did I.

        (2) Now, I lecture at a university. Our class sizes are maxed at 50. But, that means, I sometimes have to lecture to 50 people at once. That's 50 people, staring at me, for 75 minutes at a time. When I started a few years back.. I was shaking in my boots (I rode a motorcycle back then..).. But I became.. Lecturer man. I'm the boss of the room and they'll damn well listen to me whether they like it or not. They're scared of me, not the other way round.

        I'd happily jabber at them all day long now... but unfortunately that's not good teaching!

        Anyway apart from the 'faking it' method, the 'become someone else' method is also equally effective. Of course, the 'someone else' also has to be a confident person!

        Edit: It was Rose Anderson who mentioned the 'other persona' thing I referenced above!
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        • Profile picture of the author freemen14
          Originally Posted by ForeignProfessor View Post

          This is so true. I'll give you two personal examples:

          (1) A few years ago, I spent a year as a carnie. And I was given the job of selling 'Lucky Numbers' tickets. It's like an instant lottery where you can win a big stuffed toy.

          The first day.. I was shy. Too shy. I didn't sell many tickets. Then.. I became.. Carnie. I embraced it. I started pitching people, then I started pitching crowds. I learned to work an audience and to get a run going. Although the odds of winning were only 1/50, if you had 50 people buying at once (bearing in mind people are buying multiple tickets), you could easily get a run going once you had a few customers. I went from $70 days to $5,000 days. (This is the value of the tickets, not what I was earning. Carnies aren't paid on commission.)

          Once I embraced the Carnie persona, I was confidence-man. Happily hawking to crowds and they loved it. And, strangely to me, so did I.

          (2) Now, I lecture at a university. Our class sizes are maxed at 50. But, that means, I sometimes have to lecture to 50 people at once. That's 50 people, staring at me, for 75 minutes at a time. When I started a few years back.. I was shaking in my boots (I rode a motorcycle back then..).. But I became.. Lecturer man. I'm the boss of the room and they'll damn well listen to me whether they like it or not. They're scared of me, not the other way round.

          I'd happily jabber at them all day long now... but unfortunately that's not good teaching!

          Anyway apart from the 'faking it' method, the 'become someone else' method is also equally effective. Of course, the 'someone else' also has to be a confident person!

          LOL I love the alter ego approach as well.

          As a hobby business I'm a varsity basketball official which is interesting only because I'm quite non-confrontational and basketball officiating is very often confrontational.

          I very much use the different persona approach in this situation and could totally see it working for people in Im who are shy or don't want to stick their neck out.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Shook
      Being proud of what you create and making products that are full of value to prospective customers and clients combine in a good synergistic way for everyone's benefit.

      No one gains much of anything at all if you have a great product and don't tell anyone about it or you have a great site and don't tell anyone about it.

      Being egotistical seems almost like a perons is trying to make up for something that is lacking in their product or their business as a whole, but being proud of something great you create makes your day go a whole lot better.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    John,

    I know the lady you are referring to that is really a testament of how taking the first step can lead to a great journey.

    It is our responsibility to put our products in as many hands as possible if it really is a product that is needed or solves a particular issue. The only way to go about that is by being bold. Not much I will add you covered it pretty well in your post
    thanks for thinking of others man
    cheers
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author rparikh
    Zeus ,This is really motivate me to do the works which is out of my comfort zone.I am bit shy guy but reading your post really motivates me.I have already read 2 times and now its time to put in action.

    It is really nice to read the experience from the senior internet marketers.Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Leslie B
    It might be a case of being shy, it might be a case of hiding your fears to do something the first time behind a wall of shyness (making sense?). I know, with me, it's more the second then it's the first. I'm afraid of being told no, so I rather not ask. I'm working on it though

    It's the same as posting on this forum. I could say I have nothing to say, nothing new to bring here, but it's just a case of being afraid to be wrong in some way. Again, it's a work in progress that is improving every day.

    Being shy is easy. When you can say, well, I'm just shy, I'm not good with social contacts, you can hide behind that and never get somewhere. Not in your business, not in your personal life. It's like you say, just try to make those contacts, you might be surprised on many levels (or at least I was when I did )


    Leslie
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    Taking it one day at a time!
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    • Profile picture of the author Tom B
      Banned
      I am motivated as well.

      I will start dressing up as a woman and approach strange men with jv proposals. Ah, feels like college all over again.
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      • Profile picture of the author Zeus66
        Originally Posted by Thomas Belknap View Post

        I am motivated as well.

        I will start dressing up as a woman and approach strange men with jv proposals. Ah, feels like college all over again.
        TMI, dude. T.M.I.

        Besides, I know you're lying. Even dressed as a woman your natural manliness (that all of us baldies have in spades) would be evident. I've seen the ladies swoon at the mere mention of your name. It's why you and I aren't allowed in the same part of the country at the same time. It's a law.

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  • Profile picture of the author mech111
    Thanks for this info. It will definitely give me the confidence to do more online
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