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Please critique my landing page!

by yesacpow
10 replies
hey fellow warriors I just set up this landing page and would love to have your feedback. Please tell me if there is anything I should change or modify to make it better. I look forward to your response! Thanks inadvance.


here is the link to the previous landing page:
http://cure-yeastinfection-fast.com/yeastinfectiontreatment.htm


ok i made a new page tell what you think now please. here is the link:
Yeast Infection Treatment| Treatment of Yeast Infection
#critique #landing #page
  • Profile picture of the author yesacpow
    please anyone can comment please!
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean Donahoe
    Just a couple of comments:

    1. Too much information above the fold, you need some enticing "Hero Shot" type graphic to make people feel good about themselves and that "relief" is here!

    2. You should create more left and right margins around the text, its a bit too close to the edges from a design perspective

    3. I may be nice to get a nice header graphic, do a search online and find some PLR headers that you can edit and adapt. That will liven up your page by 100%

    4 The ratings stars should be a little more prominent for quick visual recognition.

    5 The titles of the reviews need a little livening up. You could change the CSS to give it a little more style and make it pop a little better

    All that being said, the content is actually pretty good and gets the message across pretty well.

    I hope you find the critique to be useful and helps you fine-tune your landing page.

    To Your Wealth,

    Sean Donahoe
    The Manic Marketer
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    • Profile picture of the author yesacpow
      Originally Posted by Sean Donahoe View Post

      Just a couple of comments:

      1. Too much information above the fold, you need some enticing "Hero Shot" type graphic to make people feel good about themselves and that "relief" is here!

      2. You should create more left and right margins around the text, its a bit too close to the edges from a design perspective

      3. I may be nice to get a nice header graphic, do a search online and find some PLR headers that you can edit and adapt. That will liven up your page by 100%

      4 The ratings stars should be a little more prominent for quick visual recognition.

      5 The titles of the reviews need a little livening up. You could change the CSS to give it a little more style and make it pop a little better

      All that being said, the content is actually pretty good and gets the message across pretty well.

      I hope you find the critique to be useful and helps you fine-tune your landing page.

      To Your Wealth,

      Sean Donahoe
      The Manic Marketer

      Thank you very much going to try and get some work done know.

      I just gave you a thank you also.

      Thanks again
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  • Profile picture of the author Marian Berghes
    Well in my opinion...your headline is too long and takes too long to read.

    Try to be abit more personal about it...put your "touch" in to it to make it more credible.

    Also your name with a small picture will help alot since people might trust you more if they can actually see you.

    Try to put a more warm background and colors...remember your talking about curing something...try and make your site with an ambiance around that...make them fell "warm" when they enter your website.

    You can try and put some kind of fact in the headline if you can..like "cure it in x days" stuff...that attracts more attention and makes the visitor read more.

    After that blue sub-headline...try to put some blank spaces...just to separate the headline+sub headline from the actual message of the page...this is helpful because you don't want to scare them off with a big block of text.

    Thats all that I could come up with in a somewhat quick look.
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    • Profile picture of the author yesacpow
      Originally Posted by Marian Berghes View Post

      Well in my opinion...your headline is too long and takes too long to read.

      Try to be abit more personal about it...put your "touch" in to it to make it more credible.

      Also your name with a small picture will help alot since people might trust you more if they can actually see you.

      Try to put a more warm background and colors...remember your talking about curing something...try and make your site with an ambiance around that...make them fell "warm" when they enter your website.

      You can try and put some kind of fact in the headline if you can..like "cure it in x days" stuff...that attracts more attention and makes the visitor read more.

      After that blue sub-headline...try to put some blank spaces...just to separate the headline+sub headline from the actual message of the page...this is helpful because you don't want to scare them off with a big block of text.

      Thats all that I could come up with in a somewhat quick look.
      thank you very much for you comment.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    Yes, heres just a few quick things:

    I find the site a bit of a contradiction.

    On one hand it's apparently a review site.
    Yet the headlines and subhead sound like you are promoting a SPECIFIC product.

    It sets up the visitor to expect more of a standard sales pitch for an info product. ...and thus may turn off people before they ever scroll down and read your "reviews".

    I think you weaken the premise of a review site by being too commercial.
    and too "salesy" (example: flashing "Click Here" gif )

    You show a pic of a woman but do not identify her or state credentials>

    Just a technical note also, you seem to randomly capitalize words in some of your lead sentences and many of your heads and subheads???
    If you're going to capitalize this way it should be done for EVERY WORD in the particular sentence you choose.

    Best regards,
    ________
    Bruce
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  • Profile picture of the author freudianslip27
    I think you've got some good stuff here. As others have suggested, I also think there is a bit too much here. I'd try to make it simpler. Pick the main points you want to drive and really focus on them.

    Personal stories are always a plus if you can include them.

    Some of the text doesn't read comfortably in my opinion. I'd try to approach it like you were talking to a friend.

    Good luck!

    Matt
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  • Profile picture of the author spearce000
    There seems to be too much text, and it's hard to read. An eye-catching graphic header would liven things up, too.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marian Berghes
    a very BIG improvement.
    Another thing that I think you should add....at the and try an add a buttone or at least put the link on the middle of the page and make it more visible. you can even put some arrows around it or something.
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