NLP question for NLP experts

This is a great question. And here is my answer. I've probably read more on NLP than most people and I'm qualifying myself. Enough said. Or felt. Or heard... (Sorry)

Very simply, I would see the supposed "anchor" as a belief. She has a belief about this program or this instructor, correct?

How do you take out a belief? is the question then...

Well, the number one teaching in NLP is Rapport, is it not? rapport, rapport, rapport.

You got to be in rapport with yourself (and most importantly with them) to the extent you can be with that person, mirror them, or breath with them, or match them, use same words/phrases as them in feeding back...LISTEN; BE TOTALLY PRESENT - EVEN IF IT UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU - it is them that you want to feel comfortable. In other words they must be comfortable with you, so you can slip in your ... NLP patterns/suggestions/hypnosis.

If you don't have rapport, you could drop a sleight of mouth (like the strong one below) to challenge a belief and it could backfire because they are angry at you trying to make them wrong.

So you gain rapport and then could ask: "who told you that?" - this is a belief breaker question and sleight of mouth. Question a belief enough and it will break. Try this as well.

"I had a friend once who went for this ground floor opportunity. He really made himself look like a sucker getting all caught up in this shady character who was presenting the opportunity. Made a real dick of himself."

In this way you're subconsciously relating to them what a fool they're going to look if they go through with this.

If that is not your style, the below method will really help.

Without going in to too much detail on how you could persuade them to believe something else but you could say if they object to your challenge:

Depending on what she says, you can "chunk it up". If she says like this is the best opportunity ever you can say. "I find life is just so full of great opportunities, they are everywhere."

You can use these very persuasive language patterns:

HAVE YOU FOUND (your outcome)
Have you felt (your outcome)
When would now be a good time to (your outcome).

Taking the last example: YOU ARE IN RAPPORT WITH HER

When would now be a good time to ... REASSESS WHETHER THIS IS REALLY RIGHT FOR YOU ... because the more you think about it, the more that natural, intuitive part of you begins to ... question whether any of this is real ...

You need to challenge their belief anyway

HERE's WHAT I THINK WOULD BE THE MOST ELEGANT WAY OF DEALING WITH THIS

You can also ELICIT THEIR VALUES after gaining rapport like this:

U: NAME, What is important to you about "this opportunity"?

Subject: It's a great opportunity. I believe it's genuine.

U:Sure, something being genuine is important. What does it being genuine give you that is important?

Well, I feel that I can trust the person presenting the opportunity.

U:Of course - feeling you can trust that person is definitely important.
So what is important about feeling you trust that person?

SUBJECT: Deep down I feel a connection - like I have a purpose.

U:like you have a purpose?

SUBJECT: Yes, a purpose, like there is a meaning for my life and a destiny - I have a future.

U:What is important to you about having a future?

SUBJECT: Happiness. It brings me happiness to know I have a future.

THIS IS THEIR CORE VALUE (they will probably show an emotional response at this juncture). Keep asking the question "what is important about that?" until you get this emotional response and a core value like: happiness, peace, fame, fortune, love etc

You can then associate YOUR OUTCOME- ie letting go of the obsession with this opportunity with the happiness...

[HERES THE BELIEF KILL]As you think about that happiness [THE THING THEY REALLY THINK THIS OPPORTUNITY WILL GIVE THEM] that is so important to you, perhaps you can also relate how important it is to let go of your attachment to this opportunity[COMMAND] an question it's integrity because [LOGICAL ARGUMENT] the more open minded you are, the more you will be able to see the truth of the situation [PERSUASIVE LOGICAL REASONING]. If it was presented to me, I'd say NO (KNOW) [EMBEDDED COMMAND & DOUBLE MEANING] that it's not right for you.

Without the capitals...

As you think about that... happiness... that is so important to you...perhaps you can also relate how important it is to ...let go of the attachment to this opportunity...and ...question it's integrity... because ...the more open minded you are the more you will be able to see the truth of the situation... If it was presented to me, I'd say ...NO (KNOW)... that it's not right for you.

A FEW IDEAS FOR YOU THERE ANYWAY. Thanks for the opportunity to share them with you.

Book recommendations:

Power Persuasion - David Barron
Mind Control Language Patterns - Dantalion Jones (Lulu book).
Gratitude Book by Sam Beatson - The Gratitude Book - Discover Abundance By Being Thankful... (actually that is just a plug for my book! but there are quite a few resources from the testimonials there, too).

Hi Steve..

Whilst I see your point..

Maybe Loren wishes to go down this route to give his "prospect" some extra angles to see all options?... obviously one being Loren's option, but at least it is opening doors and if this helps the prospect to be more open and receptive to something that could help/benefit them then maybe it's a good thing?..

Just thinkin' out loud..

Peace


Jay

It depends on the ethics of the coach.


The therapeutic concept of NLP is solution oriented and pre-supposes that the client ASKS for a change because s/he:
- wants to achieve something and doesn't manage to do it
- wants to get rid of something and doesn't manage to do it.

In such a setting the client presents the goal and the NLP coach uses his toolbox to make it happen.

What few people realize is that after the 'contract' is made, the coach may very well apply NLP techniques covertly. This makes sense by the very nature of the mind that is not easy to change consciously. Thus the coach applies techniques without the client even realizing it.

The same happens in NLP and coaching related seminars. The trainers usually have a 'hidden agenda' of change that they want to install in their seminar participants. If they talked about it, it wouldn't work. This 'hidden agenda' usually is aimed at installing beliefs that make it easier to apply NLP and to live by the underlying 'beliefs' of NLP (the NLP presuppositions) instead of old, limiting believe systems. Sounds creepier than it is.

Then of course there are many areas where the techniques are used in a non-coaching situation, for example sales and marketing. I've seen some excellent sales letters using hypnotic language patterns. (NLP term: Milton model.)

Given Loren's context I would not advise any intervention that is not in consent with the clients stated goals.

Ralf

Loren,

thanks for the update.

Assuming you are familiar with basic NLP concepts after years of reading a few specific pointers:

From NLP perspective it takes 2 things:
rapport and pre-framing.

If you have good enough rapport you can bring across any message.
And before any message is delivered you set the frame simply by what you talk about before you deliver your message.

Besides that you could use plenty of Milton Ericksons language patterns, story telling, quoting others...

"Now, you know, then this guy said to me: 'Your are a fool to believe all that nonsense.' I was ashamed to admit it at that time but I found it is true. And after all I found it easy to let go of that old stuff and find out what really works. It gave me so much confidence to...blahblahblah..."
Ah, that's some sneaky stuff that only works if you tell it in a different context consciously and anchor it to the relevant context unconsciously. What you do is to unconsciously talk her through the change process. Be subtle or you're screwed...

As with any efficient communication these things require some training till mastered, but you always can take it from where you are right now.

Other specific strategies:
- You can chunk up to find the goals the client wants to accomplish through this program. Then chunk back down to other ways to accomplish the goal.

- Induce doubt through questions, story telling, counter examples.

- Find out what emotions support the current convictions and relate (anchor) other topics to the same emotion. Requires the ability to induce and anchor emotional states. You can also use the driving emotion to introduce her to other topics without even mentioning the one you want to weaken. Let's say the driving force for her current conviction is enthusiasm. Then you find her sub modalities or anchors for enthusiasm . Then you talk about a concept she does not know yet (which is more reasonable than the one you want to get rid of) When introducing the new concept put yourself in the same emotional state and anchor it in your client.

That gives her 2 or more concepts in the same place where up until now is only 1 concept. It adds to her choices and flexibility.

Just a few ideas. Not sure if it's worth the effort though, maybe simply build rapport and tell your client how you see it. Depends on how strong the current beliefs are.

Ralf