Check out My Sales Page!

by freddie77 15 replies
Take a look at my sales page, let me know what you think?

The url is in my signature

Freddie
#main internet marketing discussion forum #check #page #sales
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  • Profile picture of the author Ernie Lo
    I Dunno...

    When I first opened the page, I saw the words "FRESH" and I saw the images of fruit at the top, and was a little confused as my first thought was that it's a website about food...which it obvously isn't.
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    • Profile picture of the author seree
      It's ok on copy but like Ernie said.

      I'm a little confuse about your header image + navigation.

      Could you please remove that and let your reader focus on your copy?

      Cheers!
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      • Profile picture of the author freddie77
        Originally Posted by seree View Post

        It's ok on copy but like Ernie said.

        I'm a little confuse about your header image + navigation.

        Could you please remove that and let your reader focus on your copy?

        Cheers!
        Well i wont remove the image as it's my web design site and it ties in with the whole "fresh" thing, but i'll create a new "sales" page for it.

        thanks for the comment!
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        • Profile picture of the author JamesW
          The sales page is a little difficult to read because the font is slightly too small and there's a lot of grey text which is slightly off-putting and may send visitors away.
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          • Profile picture of the author freddie77
            I've change the sales so it's easier to read and flows better i think, i'm just adding the payment pages...
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            • Profile picture of the author JamesW
              That's ten times better. Good stuff.
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            • Profile picture of the author Greg Cooksley
              Hey Freddie,

              Got here later, so you've already made changes....

              I would definitely add an optin box and offer a free valuable
              report so that you can capture the contact details. Maybe do
              that as an exit strategy when they are clicking away from the
              page???

              Regards

              Greg
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              • Profile picture of the author write-stuff
                Personally, I'd strip that main headline down to bare facts:

                "Dreamweaver Video Tutorials"

                In the second section, this is what you say:

                ""Discover How You Can Quickly And Easily Create Unlimited Mini-Sites With Dreamweaverâ„¢ By Watching Exactly How To Do It With Freshweblab's Most Exclusive Step-By-Step Video Coaching Tutorials"

                I'm not convinced that the quotes are helping anything and the statement seems to be a run-on sentence. How 'bout this instead:

                Quickly Discover How You can Create Unlimited Mini-Sites with Dreamweaver. See Exactly How with Exclusive Step-by-Step Videos.

                Next, I'd make all your screen-shots clickable so that the images open up in new windows, large enough to see. They're so small, I was not able to learn anything from them. I would also strongly recommend that you have a link for a free sample, maybe even one of the videos in its entirety. It's a pretty big leap of faith for people to plop down money on nothing but a promise. Show people in advance just how good your stuff is!

                - Russ
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                • Profile picture of the author freddie77
                  Originally Posted by write-stuff View Post

                  Personally, I'd strip that main headline down to bare facts:

                  "Dreamweaver Video Tutorials"

                  In the second section, this is what you say:

                  ""Discover How You Can Quickly And Easily Create Unlimited Mini-Sites With Dreamweaverâ„¢ By Watching Exactly How To Do It With Freshweblab's Most Exclusive Step-By-Step Video Coaching Tutorials"

                  I'm not convinced that the quotes are helping anything and the statement seems to be a run-on sentence. How 'bout this instead:

                  Quickly Discover How You can Create Unlimited Mini-Sites with Dreamweaver. See Exactly How with Exclusive Step-by-Step Videos.

                  Next, I'd make all your screen-shots clickable so that the images open up in new windows, large enough to see. They're so small, I was not able to learn anything from them. I would also strongly recommend that you have a link for a free sample, maybe even one of the videos in its entirety. It's a pretty big leap of faith for people to plop down money on nothing but a promise. Show people in advance just how good your stuff is!

                  - Russ
                  i was thinking of shorting the title but "Dreamweaver Video Tutorials" is too general it could mean anything to do with dreamweaver...plus i want to keep it branded

                  I'll add larger screen-shots of the videos to open in a seperate window and add a free sample video, thanks for pointing that out
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                  • Profile picture of the author TheMagicShow
                    First of all, if you look on the top left there is a Y there, your header could look a little more appealing, the images for the videos are not clear and hard to see. Your sales letter is pretty short, you do describe each video but there is not much of a sales letter there.

                    You should have some testimonials, this makes your product look more credible, the elements that i have listed can be easily fixed, keep up the good work.

                    Cheers,
                    Magic
                    Signature

                    " You can either give a man a fish and feed him for a day OR teach him how to catch a fish and it will feed him for a lifetime"

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        • Profile picture of the author jhongren
          I think it is good to narrow the width of the text to more centre.

          You notice that most sales page are not so wide.

          Your "Fresh" is taking the attention which should not be the case.

          Add some testimonials with photos of real people. =) It can add some social proof effect.

          Font size too small and make it black please. It is easier to read.

          Your sub-heading such as "Here's a quick run down of exactly what you get:" should be of a bigger font size than the normal text.

          My 2 cents,
          John
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        • Profile picture of the author Mike McBride
          Unlike Ernie and Seree, the header graphic looks fine to me. The color you've used for your main headline and subheads looks a bit washed-out to me. I gather you're looking to continue the theme of "fresh," but you might want to ripen that color a little.

          Also, you have a number of question marks that, well, I have to question. Your main headline is a statement, not a question. Same with the second line in the subhead for Part 2. Also the question marks "One-Time Payment Of $37 Only�" and "Click Here To Purchase Freshweblab's Dreamweave Mini-Site Video Tutorials�" Hey, you don't want them questioning whether to purchase - right?

          Overall, though, it looks pretty good - good luck with it.
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