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This Makes Me Wanna Go All "Chuck Norris" On Your A$$!

by Michael Meaney
5 replies
No doubt it's a familiar story for some of you..

Most of the requests I receive to promote products are usually cool enough, but there's always a few who just don't get it.

Oh yeah, this isn't aimed at anyone here.

Receiving requests isn't much of a problem for me (it actually boosts my fragile ego), but what is more important than the product is how you present yourself.

Check out this gem email I received this morning.. one of many with similar offers this week.
Name, site and product has been removed.

"Dear RINF dude,

We have just launched XXXX and it's selling like crazy! We are offering you the opportunity to cash-in with us!

As an affiliate you will receive a generous 50% commision on each sale worth $197!

Go to XXXXXXX and sign up now.

If you have any questions call me on XXXXXXX!

Regards,
XXXXX

P.S. If you don't act now your competitors will take the advantage and you'll miss out!"

A couple of tips for future communication:

Do let me see the product and test drive it, I'll be the one to decide if it really benefits my visitors.

Don't wave a commission percentage in front of me, it's not important and has no bearing on my decision.

Most of my "competitors" are also my friends - who happen to share the same values and ethics as me.

Please understand that... Some things are more important than money.
#a$$ #chuck norris #makes #wanna
  • Profile picture of the author salegurus
    "Do let me see the product and test drive it"
    This one gets me.
    I received similar 'request' few weeks ago for product that just launched.
    I sent several requests for more information on the product, (how can i promote a product when i know zip about it?) got a reply that JV Manager would get back to me, they never did.

    Others may be willing to blindly promote anything that gets thrown at them but not me sorry mate...
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    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    ― George Carlin
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Meaney
    Exactly. Throw random, low quality offers at your list and they quickly become unresponsive.
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  • Profile picture of the author monsterrager
    If someone sent me trash like that i would mark it spam and let the spam filter take care of their JV emails from then on.
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    • Profile picture of the author BeauJustin
      My favorite are the ones that promise things like:
      "You'll get more respect from your wife, kids, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, old friends, Mark Zuckerberg, and the bully who used to beat you up on 2nd grade!"

      Hoping that your email lands on someone who is emotionally unstable and too naive to recognize lies and manipulation, is just a sucky thing to do regardless of whether or not it brings in sales.

      If copy like this is your idea of marketing you're an emotional predator. Period.

      You deserve to have the aforementioned Chuck Norris come to your house, and put you in the rear-naked-choke until you tap out, pass out, or wet yourself.

      I also hate Hyper-hyped copy like this:
      "This thing is going to be bigger than Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter combined! Get in now for $17.95! Tomorrow we will probably have to charge $10k a head!".

      I keep a stress ball handy just to help me cope with this kind of writing.

      I would actually be more inclined to buy your product if you were honest and told it sucks.
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  • Profile picture of the author hotseochick
    Sounds like an email that causes me to unsubscribe from their list or put them in the spam folder permanently. It's obnoxious for sure.
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