16 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
16 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Ladies, Help Me Out?

by Tinkerbell
14 replies
Hiya. Thanks for opening this thread. Can I get you to look at/read something for me?

It's a sales page for a romance writing course, so you know what I want you to look at. (Those of you who have never thought about writing a romance or those of you who just aren't interested can ignore this request completely).

The page is here: Write A Romance | The Magic Formula Home Study Course For Aspiring Romance Novelists
(I'll delete this page later, just put it here for feedback).

I've removed the order link so you know I ain't trying to get any of you to buy. I just want some feedback on the page. I would like to know if it peaks your interest or if it just completely loses you somewhere...and I'm asking the ladies because generally it is women who read romance, and ultimately consider writing one, even though I know there are a few men in the field too.

Anyway, will you have a look and let me know what I might have left out, or what I might be better off leaving out entirely?

Thanks muches,
Tina
#ladies
  • Profile picture of the author richdirtygirl
    Hi Tina

    ok, sorry babe... I don't love it. Didn't go far... but your heading bounced me off...

    If i were looking for information on how to write... someone who bumped into a method for her first novel and repeated it one more time, and it is not really well known in the field is not someone i would buy from...

    You could jump those lil problems saying that the information was handed to you by some mysterious master, or comes from the past or whatever your prolific imagination can make up...

    You can say that you hit the wall lots of times until the day the solution was handed to you... you tried it and worked.

    Makes sense?

    RDG :p
    Signature
    [WSO] Crazy Offer: Get access to my UNRESTRICTED PLR Article Directory for coins.
    [FREE WSO] Step by Step guide to record and edit podcasts. Newbie friendly.
    2 PLR articles a day FREE for a whole year!
    Uncensored... Wanna play with me? ;) http://twitter.com/richdirtygirl
    Blog fun! http://www.richdirtygirl.com/
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331625].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by richdirtygirl View Post

      Hi Tina

      ok, sorry babe... I don't love it. Didn't go far... but your heading bounced me off...

      If i were looking for information on how to write... someone who bumped into a method for her first novel and repeated it one more time, and it is not really well known in the field is not someone i would buy from...

      You could jump those lil problems saying that the information was handed to you by some mysterious master, or comes from the past or whatever your prolific imagination can make up...

      You can say that you hit the wall lots of times until the day the solution was handed to you... you tried it and worked.

      Makes sense?

      RDG :p
      Thanks so much for your feedback on this. I just wanna make sure I get what you're saying...I get this:

      You would read on and maybe buy the course if the "method" I used had been handed down from someone you "know" in the field or if it was a method once buried until I brought it back to light? Is that it?

      Tina

      Oh, and just for clarity's sake, I "did" hit the wall many times (the story is in the sales letter) until I realized there was a sort of method or formula to the whole writing process, which I used to write my first book. I documented the process while using the formula to write my second book.
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331890].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Marilyn Roberts
    Hi Tina,

    I think it is a great sales page. Just getting one book published is not a walk in the park I am sure, so getting a second one published means you know what you are talking about.

    That is definitely a course I might be interested in. I have been writing on and off for years. Finally finished one book but never tried to market it as I decided it was just too, too bad and just used it as a learning experience.

    It sounds like your course would encourage someone to keep going on instead of getting stuck and bored with the chore of writing. It would be nice to have a sort of blueprint to follow to get over that horrible 'middle of the story'.

    I think that if enough wanna be romance writers see your sales page you would have a lot of business.

    Good luck
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331736].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Marilyn Roberts View Post

      Hi Tina,

      I think it is a great sales page. Just getting one book published is not a walk in the park I am sure, so getting a second one published means you know what you are talking about.

      That is definitely a course I might be interested in. I have been writing on and off for years. Finally finished one book but never tried to market it as I decided it was just too, too bad and just used it as a learning experience.

      It sounds like your course would encourage someone to keep going on instead of getting stuck and bored with the chore of writing. It would be nice to have a sort of blueprint to follow to get over that horrible 'middle of the story'.

      I think that if enough wanna be romance writers see your sales page you would have a lot of business.

      Good luck
      Marilyn,
      Thanks for the feedback, and you're sooo right. A blueprint to help slog through the middle (some folks call it the muddle!) makes writing a lot easier, and I think I cover it pretty well in the course. Actually, I cover it pretty well in the material I just 'give away', LOL.

      Anyway, thanks again for having a look and letting me know your thoughts. I hope you will pull that old manuscript out and have a go at writing again. I'm sure you can do it...I mean, hey, you wrote the response above, so I already know you can write. :-) Give it another shot. You may surprise yourself.

      Tina
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331897].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Lynette Crase
    Hi Tina,

    I like your salespage and I would buy the product (probably would have bought there and then if the sales button was working) This is something I have been interested in for years. I even had a go at writing one of these when I was younger (much younger) but never finished. I would still like to actually achieve this someday so, yeah, I think it is great.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331817].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Lynette Crase View Post

      Hi Tina,

      I like your salespage and I would buy the product (probably would have bought there and then if the sales button was working) This is something I have been interested in for years. I even had a go at writing one of these when I was younger (much younger) but never finished. I would still like to actually achieve this someday so, yeah, I think it is great.
      Lynette,
      I appreciate your feedback...if you would have bought the product, then the sales page does its job I think.

      Thanks much!
      Tina
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331906].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author dpwilliams
        Hey Tina,

        I really like the idea...but I am like the first responder...The headline doesn't grab me...

        Everyone always reads with the thought "What's in it for me"... A headline should tell them loud and clear...

        "What's in it for Me"

        Write your first romance novel in 120 hours...My Magic Formula will teach you how. It's easy...easy...easy.

        Ok...that's not the best either...I am a little tired and brain dead...but really hit them with a fantastic benefit...grab there interest and make them read your letter...
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331939].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
          Originally Posted by dpwilliams View Post

          Hey Tina,

          I really like the idea...but I am like the first responder...The headline doesn't grab me...

          Everyone always reads with the thought "What's in it for me"... A headline should tell them loud and clear...

          "What's in it for Me"

          Write your first romance novel in 120 hours...My Magic Formula will teach you how. It's easy...easy...easy.

          Ok...that's not the best either...I am a little tired and brain dead...but really hit them with a fantastic benefit...grab there interest and make them read your letter...
          All righty. Thanks so much for your response and your feedback. A couple years ago I released this product (and got freaked out by the controversy it caused and yanked it offline) and the headline went something like this:

          (Sub-head) "They say a formula does not exist, but I'm about to prove them wrong..."
          (Main Headline) I wrote my debut romance novel in 3 days! Want me to show you how, so you can do it too?

          So...do you (and the first responder, maybe) think that would be better?

          Tina
          Signature
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331960].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Sirius Lin
    Hello Tina,
    The only comment I have is that when you say 120 hours, it sounds like a very large number compared to saying something like "under a week". Maybe it can change it to say "under 7 days" so it sounds a lot faster.

    Warmest regards,
    Sirius Lin
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331985].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by Sirius Lin View Post

      Hello Tina,
      The only comment I have is that when you say 120 hours, it sounds like a very large number compared to saying something like "under a week". Maybe it can change it to say "under 7 days" so it sounds a lot faster.

      Warmest regards,
      Sirius Lin
      <nod> I can change that, yes. Thanks for bringing it up.

      Tina
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[332035].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author clasimogul
    Hi: I like your information, but it is so much of it. It lost me about half-way. Yes, I would be interested in purchasing, but I would skim the page for what I'd be receiving and then decide whether the price fit. It is good to know that you have published two books and working on your third. You must know what you are talking about. This is something (writing) I have been interested in for a long time too. Thank you.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[331997].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author dpwilliams
      Hey Tina,


      (Sub-head) "They say a formula does not exist, but I'm about to prove them wrong..."
      (Main Headline) I wrote my debut romance novel in 3 days! Want me to show you how, so you can do it too?
      I like it better...also wanted to mention...I liked the exit pop up...you may get a great response by sending these folks some really good information to build trust...

      Deb
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[332013].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
        Originally Posted by dpwilliams View Post

        Hey Tina,

        I like it better...also wanted to mention...I liked the exit pop up...you may get a great response by sending these folks some really good information to build trust...

        Deb
        Deb, I wondered if anyone noticed the exit popup or if everyone just ignored it. :-) There's some fantastic information being given away in there, so yeah, I got this part covered I think. Thanks for mentioning it!

        Tina
        Signature
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[332044].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
      Originally Posted by clasimogul View Post

      Hi: I like your information, but it is so much of it. It lost me about half-way. Yes, I would be interested in purchasing, but I would skim the page for what I'd be receiving and then decide whether the price fit. It is good to know that you have published two books and working on your third. You must know what you are talking about. This is something (writing) I have been interested in for a long time too. Thank you.
      Thanks for checking out the page. I have another question for you...you said you would "skim the page" and decide whether the price fit so my question is this: do you feel that you get all the information you'd need to make a buying decision, just by skimming this page?

      Tina
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[332040].message }}

Trending Topics