My New Opt-in page design, tell me what u think

by Jaxi
13 replies
i54.tinypic(dot)com/xm28ft.png

i still havent placed the email submit form as it's still just a psd file. Just tell me what u think, and what could be improved
-Thanks!
#design #optin #page
  • Profile picture of the author doorkicker13
    Originally Posted by Jaxi View Post

    i54.tinypic(dot)com/xm28ft.png

    i still havent placed the email submit form as it's still just a psd file. Just tell me what u think, and what could be improved
    -Thanks!
    First thing - spell check. Makeing =/= making. Put the $ sign in front of the amount ($100 not 100$). Most of your words are capitalized.. others are not. Three out of the five of your bullet points start with "This..." it's redundant.

    The overall layout looks good, but the copy needs work - and I'm not copywriter, so those are just a few things I noticed..
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  • Profile picture of the author 2GRANN
    I would do a little shorter headline. Readers have to read it with one breath when opens the page. And I would make words "THE BLOG PROFIT STRATEGY" also a little bit bigger and fatter.
    And yes, doorkicker13 gave very good criticism, consider it.
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  • I would not use red on blue Red is good , but maybe it needs some blending or background...

    Hehe nice to see fellow LoL`er ;D
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  • Profile picture of the author Jaxi
    ty for all your critisism, especially you Doorkicker, it was actually quite usefull
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  • Profile picture of the author Major Success
    I think it looks good. The eCover looks well-made and the overall feeling of the site is warm. I don't know if I'm crazy about using so much red though, but besides that and the few typos, I really like it
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    • Profile picture of the author writeandreview
      It's okay, but there are some spelling errors and issues with grammar.

      Second bullet - Im should be I'm

      Third bullet: This e-book will teach you everything on how

      Reading the phrase, "everything on how", in your copy makes me not want to read anything more.

      You need to choose a path. Either go with "will teach you everything":

      This e-book teaches you everything about blogging ... from set up to monetization

      Or go with "will teach you how":

      This e-book teaches you how to set up a blogging system that could earn you ...

      There are some other missing apostrophes and commas. And the logic is off a bit.

      If you write, "Let's see what's covered in your FREE e-book.", then you should couch all the bullets in terms of "things covered". Right now the bullets are just an eclectic series of loosely coupled, hype-y sales statements.

      You basically stated the same thing twice in bullets 1 and 3.

      You've got some work to do before going live, but you'll get there.

      Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jaxi
    okay, this is just great! i really appriciate all you'r advices. I know i have to do some spell checking, and edit the bullets
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  • Profile picture of the author xxxJamesxxx
    I never use the term "ebook" especially in the IM niche as ebooks have a lower precieved value.

    Instead of "ebook" try "System" or "Formula". Or better yet, create some videos to higher the precieved value of your free gift and call them "Video Training Modules".

    Hope this helps

    James
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  • Profile picture of the author StevenJones
    The red and blue combo doesn't work out very well. However these two colors seperated have a power of their own. Red for taking action and blue for building trust. What do you want the people to do once they reach your opt-in page?

    Go for red for solely opt-in and if you want to focus on building a good relationship with your list, I would go for blue. But to be honest I only think that a continuous exposure to blue may give the desired effect. And a positive attitude against your subscribers is a must too, however that is a whole different ballgame
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