I'm Talking to Myself...But What Am I Saying?

The other day a friend of mine came over to watch the football game. Our conversation began with our commiserating about the lousy weather we've been having, and drifted from one thing to another, as conversations are apt to do.

As we got deeper into it, there was something that was rubbing me the wrong way. As my friend talked on (she's quite a talker) I realized how negative and pessimistic her comments were. "I can't afford this and that" and "I'll never be able to get this or that" (a garage, a carport, a revamped driveway etc.).

After a few minutes, when I could no longer tolerate the negativity, I interrupted her (nicely) and shared my reaction with her. She was surprised - and appreciative - at the opportunity to step away from her thoughts and look at them from a more objective perspective.

This is something that I've been thinking a lot about with respect to my own thought process, but this small event brought it all back into focus for me.

It's helped me realize how often my own thoughts are self-defeating. How often do I tell myself that I can't, or I'm afraid to, or I'm not smart enough, or whatever (fill in the blank)?

It happens way too much, and it's getting in the way. The fallout of this type of thinking is far-reaching, affecting everything I do - my relationships, my hopes and aspirations, my achievements.

So it doesn't just get in the way of my online success, but yes, that too! I've got that old tape in there, running in my head every day, reminding me that I'll never be able to do this or that.

Well, time to yank that tape out and do a different kind of chatter. One that is enabling, not disabling. And yes, all the stuff here we see on this forum about creating a plan, taking action in a focused kind of way that is congruent with a solid plan, sticking with one thing rather than jumping around, staying focused etc - this is all critical stuff.

But just as critical - at least for me - is to take note of what what that internal tape is playing in my head, over and over. Will my words facilitate the implementation of my plan, thus opening the door to focused action - or do my words debilitate me? Will they be self-limiting or self-empowering? I have the choice.

Pretty amazing. For all the excuses I've given myself about why I get 'stuck' (usually blaming something external, thus making it 'outside' of my control) - the answer has been right here in my own head all along.

Not that it's easy to change that tape. But recognizing the need to do so is a good first step.

What do you think? What is your internal tape telling you? And how do you overcome your self-limiting thoughts?


- Kat