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All the IM gurus have lied to me, their push-button systems don't work! (Ripoff!)

by HelpingYouBeAnExpert
68 replies
I was promised by the IM gurus that I can push a button and make millions while sitting in my underwear at home watching TV. I paid their $1997 multiple times and it doesn't work. I paid every guru known to man and now I'm mad.

I demand that the gurus give me a button to push, so I can sit on my ass and make the money because I'm entitled to it.

Also I demand that it's free so I don't have to pay (people like me should not have to risk money) and it has to be brain dead, so I don't get any stress.

I demand my profits like the gurus promised me, so I can finally live my internet lifestyle that I deserve!
#button #gurus #lied #push #rippoff #systems #work
  • Profile picture of the author insidmal
    But THEY are making a killing on their software... why aren't you?

    Here's a tip: Make the software.
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  • Profile picture of the author Your Brand Ebooks
    Originally Posted by HelpingYouBeAnExpert View Post

    I was promised by the IM gurus that I can push a button and make millions while sitting in my underwear
    Dude, good luck with your demands

    and would you put your pants back on, you're giving us the creeps
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    • Profile picture of the author magiclouie
      Originally Posted by Your Brand Ebooks View Post

      Dude, good luck with your demands

      and would you put your pants back on, you're giving us the creeps
      I just can't help but smile.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Silvester
    Have you actually done anything, or are you till waiting for the button to be hand delivered, all pre-done and ready for you to some-how magicalle deposit millions into your bank account?

    Seriously...Get Off Your Ass!

    **** Sh*t is not handed to you on a silver platter!
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    • Profile picture of the author Peter Clark
      Originally Posted by Michael Silvester View Post

      Have you actually done anything, or are you till waiting for the button to be hand delivered, all pre-done and ready for you to some-how magicalle deposit millions into your bank account?

      Seriously...Get Off Your Ass!

      **** Sh*t is not handed to you on a silver platter!
      :rolleyes:

      Apparently they don't have sarcasm down under. The OP was joking.
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  • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
    People: I was being sarcastic!
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    ROFL he was being sarcastic..funny how the "gurus" couldn't see that!!! LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Ausin
    Haha indeed, first I found the OP funny and then when people couldn't see the sarcasm, its even funnier
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    • Profile picture of the author Your Brand Ebooks
      Matt, sloanjim, and OP:

      appears that the gurus were using reverse reverse psychology, and they too were being sarcastic. surprised you guys didn't catch that.
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      ONCE UPON A TIME there was a Warrior named Bob. He was sad. And frustrated. You see, Warrior Bob spent every last nickel on Internet Marketing e-books. But nothing panned out. No traffic. No sales. He was one sad Bob. Then one day Bob found a bottle. He rubbed it and out came a Genie who granted him 3 wishes. For Wish #1 Bob asked for a pet Dragon. Wish Granted. For Wish #2, Bob wanted Warriors' websites seen by 53 million TV viewers, for under $5 per broadcast. The Genie said... (click here)
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    • Profile picture of the author want2knowhow
      Originally Posted by Matt Ausin View Post

      Haha indeed, first I found the OP funny and then when people couldn't see the sarcasm, its even funnier
      LOL!
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  • Profile picture of the author techservice
    Did'nt anyone see the in the OP's post.
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  • Profile picture of the author bogdan247
    ) yeah, get of your ass and start doing somethin'
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    • Profile picture of the author MagicAce
      I know you are being sarcastic? But did you actually push the button?
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      • Profile picture of the author MarcoJardel
        These systems work - they're sucking up "free money" from all over the Internet don't you know...

        You're obviously pushing the button wrong...

        I'd recommend the $1997 step by step guide to pushing a button correctly course
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      • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
        Hey, thanks guys I figured it out now, I need a coaching program that will walk me through the process of pushing the button.

        Can anyone recommend me the guru who has be best course that will help me push that darn button, and please keep in mind I need to be able to push the button while watching Jerry Springer on TV while sitting in my Lazy Boy chair in my underwear.
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        • Profile picture of the author MagicAce
          Originally Posted by HelpingYouBeAnExpert View Post

          Hey, thanks guys I figured it out now, I need a coaching program that will walk me through the process of pushing the button.

          Can anyone recommend me the guru who has be best course that will help me push that darn button, and please keep in mind I need to be able to push the button while watching Jerry Springer on TV while sitting in my Lazy Boy chair in my underwear.
          Your best bet is to find who invented the button....and then push his buttons to teach you how the button works.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            There used to be a little red button on some special keyboards - when you found and pushed it, money poured into your paypal account. You could push that button even in your pajamas. That's why it was so much easier for marketers who started years ago...or at least who started before you did yesterday.

            The button referred to today in fast/easy/quick/magic/money books/programs/guides/etc is your ....wait for it.... belly button.

            Stand in front of your desk chair and push hard on your belly button until you are forced into a sitting position. Put both hands in the vicinity of your keyboard....and get to work, numbnuts.:p
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      • Profile picture of the author VaultBoss
        Originally Posted by MagicAce View Post

        I know you are being sarcastic? But did you actually push the button?
        Ha, Ha, Ha ... that 'made' my day, lol
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  • Profile picture of the author tgdrew
    The circle of sarcasm is becoming so complex that I might just get lost in an infinite loop of sarcasm.
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    oh..too sharp for me!

    appears that the gurus were using reverse reverse psychology, and they too were being sarcastic. surprised you guys didn't catch that.
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    If ever you are confused, ask a child for help...

    If you can show me a 4yo that does not know which of mommy and daddy's button to push, then I will show you a parent for whom pushing buttons is pointless...
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  • Profile picture of the author Karan Goel
    They say they made millions while sleeping.
    So, you need to sleep to replicate them.

    Karan
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    • Profile picture of the author Susan24
      roflmao....funny thread
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  • Profile picture of the author JuicyDesignStudio
    They also said it's a no-brainer. The fact that you have a brain disqualifies you?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
    Originally Posted by HelpingYouBeAnExpert View Post

    I was promised by the IM gurus that I can push a button and make millions while sitting in my underwear at home watching TV. I paid their $1997 multiple times and it doesn't work. I paid every guru known to man and now I'm mad.
    I bet what none of them have told you is the right kind of underwear to be wearing while pushing the button and watching TV at home.

    That's what makes all the difference!

    Wear the wrong kind of underwear, and it throws the whole system off.

    But, don't worry, for six easy payments of $37, I will reveal to you the right kind of underwear to wear, where to obtain this underwear, and the secret handshake required to get into the underwear store, as well as the location of the nearest store to you.

    But, act today because I can't be selling this secret forever!
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    • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
      Originally Posted by Dan C. Rinnert View Post

      I bet what none of them have told you is the right kind of underwear to be wearing while pushing the button and watching TV at home.

      That's what makes all the difference!

      Wear the wrong kind of underwear, and it throws the whole system off.

      But, don't worry, for six easy payments of $37, I will reveal to you the right kind of underwear to wear, where to obtain this underwear, and the secret handshake required to get into the underwear store, as well as the location of the nearest store to you.

      But, act today because I can't be selling this secret forever!
      wow, thanks buddy, I think I'm going to take the up-sell with is the exclusive 15K platinum coaching the guru said I qualify for it but only if I take action today, I'm going to take it and then find out what is the right underwear that I need to have so I can push the button.

      I'm also afraid that maybe my TV is to loud, maybe that is why Palpal is not sending me the money at the rate I need it to come in. I need a 7 figure income in the first 30 days, so they platinum program is going to do that for me!

      I'm so excited I'm going to sight up right now!
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      • Profile picture of the author jordan08
        Ya'll made my day! I was just sitting here wondering why the many buttons I have are not working how they are supposed to and now I see where I went wrong!

        Secret underwear course....SIGN ME UP!!
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  • Profile picture of the author DamenRabat
    Dude, you got a serious talent right here: write sales copies as fun as your first post! Totally striking! I mean it.
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    • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
      Originally Posted by DamenRabat View Post

      Dude, you got a serious talent right here: write sales copies as fun as your first post! Totally striking! I mean it.

      Thanks I have made a few mill selling online, I was just having some fun here. Thanks for the laughs!
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  • Profile picture of the author Tspringer
    I don't understand?

    I cannot find the link in the original post to YOUR instant millions for no work just push the button any idiot can do it GROTI package? I figured you were sure to undercut the others at only $1795.

    Your poor abilities relative to putting the correct sales link in your post has cost you a sale!


    Terry
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  • Profile picture of the author xxdksxx
    Why not become one of them and sell something that actually works no "Push button system" and show exactly how its possible to make money online that will grow over time.
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  • Profile picture of the author omk
    I found exactly what you're looking for on CB. It only costs $37!
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  • Profile picture of the author shermancox
    Whether you push the button or not...you can always create a WSO about how pushing the button made you a ton of money...

    Just make sure it is PLR and that I can get a review copy...
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Silvester
    LOL...

    I was actually being sarcastic too...

    And Possibly a little drunk!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike McAleer
    That is where the majority of the income comes from online. People learn how to make money with little adsense courses and amazon affiliate programs and similar systems but the big money comes from creating your own product to teach all this stuff.

    Rarely will someone make a million dollars on adsense but there have been million dollar product launches teaching the stuff.
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    • Profile picture of the author 2stroke
      I know what your problem is, your suppose to click the button every 8 minutes!

      You know, I think I am going to come up with a product that PUSHES THE BUTTON FOR YOU!!!



      ...I have no idea how you stumbled upon this secret post, but what you are about to see will change you life forever! "The Button Pusher" the super secret software used only by a handful of super secret super gurus. You would expect to pay upwards of $497 for this amazing system, but today only it can be yours for only $47, but you have to act NOW to get this amazing one time offer. I don't know how long I can leave this post up here! Hurry!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Fawkes63
    Me me I want one 2stroke what a great offer?
    Is it ok for newbies?
    Is there a complete step by step guide
    and if I am not sure do you have 24/7 service desk?
    How much could I expect to earn in the first 10 minutes?
    oh and can I pay by installments?
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  • Profile picture of the author masterjani
    Might be battery down at the time of pushing.replace the battery and push once again.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tsnyder
    Here... follow these instructions...

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    If you knew what I know you'd be doing what I do...
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  • Profile picture of the author Cyberkntsean
    The magic button must first be aligned with the elements using Feng Shui and only then may it be pressed.. as far as being in your underwear.. please no pictures..
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    • Profile picture of the author chumpschimps
      Guys, it's the way you're pushing the button that's all wrong.

      You've obviously not studied ALL the courses you need to. I can see you've done the ones about underwear and pjs but you've missed the most important.

      But, don't worry, I can see exactly which one you've missed...

      "Make Millions Just by Pushing the Button With Your Little Toe"

      Discover:
      Which foot to use
      What colour your nails should be painted
      What day of the week you need to push the button
      And all the latest get rich quick formula secret information to make the system work...

      Just released at the bargain-act-fast-before-you-don't-act-at-all-and-regret-it-forever knock down price of $377

      But hurry because prices are going up with every sale and this is THE single most important product you'll ever buy.
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  • Profile picture of the author liite
    I too have fallen victim to these 'make a million in a hour!!!' But fortunate for me I have just been emailed by a Nigerian Prince who says i'm the heir to a long lost fortune... Just sending him my bank details, cats middle name and doctors star sign now.

    be thinking of you all from my tropical island!
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  • Profile picture of the author ganang
    pust the GURU's BUTTON to make money, not button make by the Guru's

    you now what i'm talking about roght? LoL
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    • Profile picture of the author MagicAce
      This thread is a great testimony of what good humour sense warriors have.
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      • Profile picture of the author Sandor Verebi
        Hi HelpingYouBeAnExpert,

        Boy, I'm the specialist to solve your situation, seek no further, it's not a cup of tee of others above. Following factors may cause your problem:

        - your Lazy Boy chair lost one leg, so, it's rocking when you push that button

        - your TV may interfere electronically with that button you got from gurus

        - you didn't use our miracle lubrication (hungarian apricot brandy)

        - you select the wrong time to push that button (best time: 13th December at 13 minutes after midnight)

        - you use wrong finger to push that button (right hand middle finger up is the best method)

        Anyway, our hourly rate is a measly $7777. Our slogan is: Everything for Us. By when you ask for our service?

        All the best,

        Sandor
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  • Profile picture of the author KunTaoM
    Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

    You have to know WHICH buttons to push.
    LOL, I guess he pushed all buttons already.
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  • Profile picture of the author celente
    incase you havent noticed. The secret to making money online is that there are no secrets.

    No guru will share that with you unfortunately!!!

    The way to make money online is to actully take action with the info that the gurus give you.

    or study what they do, that is priceless.
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  • Profile picture of the author Wolfster
    Like most things in life, pushing the little money-making button only works if you have the right mindset. So if it's not working for you, then clearly you need to work on your attitude. :p
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  • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
    GREAT NEW! Warriors I PUSHED THE BUTTON! It worked! Without your moral support I would not be able to push the button! YOU SAVED ME!

    I owe you, where do I send the money? But I have a new fear, what if I run into problems pushing the button the second time? Do you have a program for me? Where do I sign up? I need a sure when to push the button again!
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  • Profile picture of the author revenue27
    And they are making killing from you, OMG what happen to the IM world today LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author SEOFocused
    do you like some fries to go with that?
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeE516
    If it sounds too good to be true it most likely is. Making money online takes work, not pushing a button. If that were the story everyone would be millionaires.
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    • Profile picture of the author HelpingYouBeAnExpert
      Originally Posted by MikeE516 View Post

      If it sounds too good to be true it most likely is. Making money online takes work, not pushing a button. If that were the story everyone would be millionaires.
      But they said I can push the button? They promised me!
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  • Profile picture of the author AlonzoTJones
    I don't know what all this Guru talk is about. I just took the blue pill and am now eating steak 3" thick, well done, with a bottle of Sangiovese, and talking to a breathtakingly beautiful South African woman with the most delightful accent and the body that could make me stare at her for hours...sometimes I have the impression "this is too good. It can't be happening to me!
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  • Profile picture of the author dagaul101
    Nice irony, but unfortunately its true, and this is what many of the unscrupulous "gurus" take advantage of; newbies who believe its easy to make money because the "guru" tells them so, unfortunately in this economy such things are becoming more prevalent
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  • Profile picture of the author Ray Jonnes
    Originally Posted by HelpingYouBeAnExpert View Post

    I was promised by the IM gurus that I can push a button and make millions while sitting in my underwear at home watching TV. I paid their $1997 multiple times and it doesn't work. I paid every guru known to man and now I'm mad.

    I demand that the gurus give me a button to push, so I can sit on my ass and make the money because I'm entitled to it.

    Also I demand that it's free so I don't have to pay (people like me should not have to risk money) and it has to be brain dead, so I don't get any stress.

    I demand my profits like the gurus promised me, so I can finally live my internet lifestyle that I deserve!
    Man you are NOOB ))) They make their millions on guys like you
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  • Profile picture of the author gaking2010
    Maybe a joke but in a way serious as alot of people promises to guarantee people a few k a month and never do what they truly say so hoping the best for you
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  • Profile picture of the author GetMoreTraffic
    You mean I have to push my button myself? Can't someone do that for me?
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    • Profile picture of the author Wolfster
      Originally Posted by RobTheCopywriter View Post

      You mean I have to push my button myself? Can't someone do that for me?
      I'd be happy to.

      Just $1000 per press.

      But I know what you must be thinking now. Will you make enough per click to pay for that?

      Sure ... but all disclaimers apply.
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  • Profile picture of the author wayfarer
    If you're not making money the easy way, I have another button for you...

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  • Profile picture of the author StephenGates
    I Got Some Ocean Front Property In Arizona , are you interested ?
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  • Profile picture of the author veenafurtado
    "paid their $1997 multiple times" ?
    Wow! You should really kick them!
    These gurus deserve to be booted.
    There should be a law about what is happening online.
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