Looking For Feedback / Critique

14 years ago

WOW, bravo. I hope everything goes well, if anything I'm going to sign up as an affiliate and get them good domains

It's good, I like it. It has a video that is greatly produced and you also have SS proof along with a nice refun/garantee and with an affordable price.

No doubt this will be a success.

regZ

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scrofford

14 years ago

I like it! Good job! Is that your voice on the sales page?

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travlinguy

14 years ago

I think this is loaded with credibility issues. First, "anyone can't do this." I don't think so. Confidence in speaking, reading, etc. simply doesn't come easy to some people no matter how much training they receive.

Next, taking a course doesn't make anyone a pro at anything. There's much more up front but I'll just skip to some of the other "issues."

Affiliate Marketing SUCKS! Unless you enjoy whoring your talents for pennies.

Affiliate marketing is a very sound online business model.

Make Money On Facebook - sure, spam away, buy ads, flip offers, see how profitable you get with that...

Another very viable business model.

Not only do I think you have serious credibility issues with most of this, I also think you'd have legal liabilities with some of it because you make promises you can't deliver.

Even so, if you went with it you'd probably make some sales. I also think you'd find yourself in serious trouble when people realize much of what you promise you can't deliver.

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2 replies

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scrofford

14 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

I think this is loaded with credibility issues. First, "anyone can't do this." I don't think so. Confidence in speaking, reading, etc. simply doesn't come easy to some people no matter how much training they receive.

Next, taking a course doesn't make anyone a pro at anything. There's much more up front but I'll just skip to some of the other "issues."

Affiliate Marketing SUCKS! Unless you enjoy whoring your talents for pennies.

Affiliate marketing is a very sound online business model.

Make Money On Facebook - sure, spam away, buy ads, flip offers, see how profitable you get with that...

Another very viable business model.

Not only do I think you have serious credibility issues with most of this, I also think you'd have legal liabilities with some of it because you make promises you can't deliver.

Even so, if you went with it you'd probably make some sales. I also think you'd find yourself in serious trouble when people realize much of what you promise you can't deliver.

Travilnguy I normally agree with you, but this time I don't. I don't see where you can even come up with credibility issues in the sales letter. This is a product for people who want to learn voiceover. Just like people who buy products who want to learn dog training or Internet Marketing or Guitar Playing.

I don't think that the promises are over the top IF everything the sales letter promises is there. Using your voice to do stuff like that isn't that hard to learn. I have known people who are professional singers and musicians who even learned on their own. How would buying a course like this be a problem?

I don't think this is scammy or spammy or anything like that, and I think if the product really delivers what the sales letter says, it will help people who want to be in that industry. Just my humble opinion.

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1 reply

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travlinguy

14 years ago

Originally Posted by scrofford

Travilnguy I normally agree with you, but this time I don't. I don't see where you can even come up with credibility issues in the sales letter. This is a product for people who want to learn voiceover. Just like people who buy products who want to learn dog training or Internet Marketing or Guitar Playing.

I don't think that the promises are over the top IF everything the sales letter promises is there. Using your voice to do stuff like that isn't that hard to learn. I have known people who are professional singers and musicians who even learned on their own. How would buying a course like this be a problem?

I don't think this is scammy or spammy or anything like that, and I think if the product really delivers what the sales letter says, it will help people who want to be in that industry. Just my humble opinion.

No problem in disagreeing. First, I agree the overall look and feel of the page is great. The problem is, the presentation is trying to appeal to everyone. My point is, voiceover work isn't for everyone. It's also a mistake to state that anyone can do it because that is blatantly false. Again, there is liability all over this pitch.

I'm not saying it's scammy or spammy. It's just not believable. Anyone with any experience in marketing is going to be put off by claims that affiliate marketing isn't a viable business model. Same goes for eBay. There's much more as well. With that said, there's absolutely no need to put down legit business models to make this appealing.

The upside is, taking the liability out of this sales letter is easy. It just needs to be come from a different perspective. The way it stands with the promises made, just a couple of complaints and the authorities, like them or not, would have a field day with this.

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2 replies

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HollyStar

14 years ago

WOW!!! Thanks everyone, travlinguy too, for all your awesome feedback - you guys are making me very happy!

@ travlinguy I appreciate you honest feedback. I still have a lot of tweaking to do, so your feedback has been helpful. I would like to avoid any legal issues for sure!

@ scrofford, yes it is my voice. And thanks for having my back, gefflong you too!

I've put a lot into this product and I'm hoping it does well. It just went live today, so there's still a lot of room for improvements, so thanks again to all of you!

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

IF YOU NEED A VOICE OVER FOR YOUR PROJECTS AND WEBSITES I'M YOUR GIRL! SPECIAL TO WARRIORS >>>> http://www.needavoiceover.com

LEARN TO BE A SUCCESSFUL VOICE OVER ARTIST
http://www.mouthymoney.com

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travlinguy

14 years ago

Originally Posted by HollyStar

WOW!!! Thanks everyone, travlinguy too, for all your awesome feedback - you guys are making me very happy!

@ travlinguy I appreciate you honest feedback. I still have a lot of tweaking to do, so your feedback has been helpful. I would like to avoid any legal issues for sure!

@ scrofford, yes it is my voice. And thanks for having my back, gefflong you too!

I've put a lot into this product and I'm hoping it does well. It just went live today, so there's still a lot of room for improvements, so thanks again to all of you!

You're welcome Holly...

I guess maybe my initial response sounded a bit harsh. I know you've got the goods. The page is full of energy. But there's no need to alienate people in other businesses. You aren't really competing with them anyway.

I'd lead with something like this, Has anyone ever told you how pleasant your voice was? Or... Do you like to talk, to sing...? Well, why not put that inherent talent to work... Then hit them with your best stuff.

See, people read something like that and they draw their own conclusions. You don't need to lead them much because your energy does that. As I said, you have the framework for a very compelling pitch here. All you need to do is adjust it a bit. Good luck.

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1 reply

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HollyStar

14 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

I'd lead with something like this, Has anyone ever told you how pleasant your voice was? Or... Do you like to talk, to sing...? Well, why not put that inherent talent to work... Then hit them with your best stuff.

This is GOLD! I just got one of those "ah ha" moments! You really know your stuff!

Thank you - I think your influence will take this from something good to something great!

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Signature

IF YOU NEED A VOICE OVER FOR YOUR PROJECTS AND WEBSITES I'M YOUR GIRL! SPECIAL TO WARRIORS >>>> http://www.needavoiceover.com

LEARN TO BE A SUCCESSFUL VOICE OVER ARTIST
http://www.mouthymoney.com

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scrofford

14 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

No problem in disagreeing. First, I agree the overall look and feel of the page is great. The problem is, the presentation is trying to appeal to everyone. My point is, voiceover work isn't for everyone. It's also a mistake to state that anyone can do it because that is blatantly false. Again, there is liability all over this pitch.

I'm not saying it's scammy or spammy. It's just not believable. Anyone with any experience in marketing is going to be put off by claims that affiliate marketing isn't a viable business model. Same goes for eBay. There's much more as well. With that said, there's absolutely no need to put down legit business models to make this appealing.

The upside is, taking the liability out of this sales letter is easy. It just needs to be come from a different perspective. The way it stands with the promises made, just a couple of complaints and the authorities, like them or not, would have a field day with this.

I guess I see what you're saying although learning to do that particular line of work can be learned by anyone with enough practice. Unless of course you have a voice like Micky Mouse LOL!

Thanks
1 reply

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travlinguy

14 years ago

Originally Posted by scrofford

I guess I see what you're saying although learning to do that particular line of work can be learned by anyone with enough practice. Unless of course you have a voice like Micky Mouse LOL!

Yeah, or Mike Tyson. :rolleyes:

Thanks

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gefflong

14 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

I think this is loaded with credibility issues. First, "anyone can't do this." I don't think so. Confidence in speaking, reading, etc. simply doesn't come easy to some people no matter how much training they receive.

Next, taking a course doesn't make anyone a pro at anything. There's much more up front but I'll just skip to some of the other "issues."

Affiliate Marketing SUCKS! Unless you enjoy whoring your talents for pennies.

Affiliate marketing is a very sound online business model.

Make Money On Facebook - sure, spam away, buy ads, flip offers, see how profitable you get with that...

Another very viable business model.

Not only do I think you have serious credibility issues with most of this, I also think you'd have legal liabilities with some of it because you make promises you can't deliver.

Even so, if you went with it you'd probably make some sales. I also think you'd find yourself in serious trouble when people realize much of what you promise you can't deliver.

WOW... I could not disagree more!

The site looks great, it sounds great, the video is top notch.

Now get started with this baby so you can get to tweaking it.

Great Job!!

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jiantastic

14 years ago

hey Holly,
your product looks amazing
here is my suggestion. just a suggestion, you might already have it in your product, or your might not. - use the power of reciprocation
one way to increase revenue is to do this really cool thing and use this cool power.
set up a new gig and call it "tips if you like my gig"
and point everyone who you've completed the gig for to that "tips" gig
I can almost smell the money doing this. hahhaa. if anything throw in a bonus that cost nothing more to include like a free report.

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MatthewNeer

14 years ago

Hey Holly,

Looks and sounds GREAT! I can tell that you put a lot of work into this project and I would be willing to bet that a womans voice converts better over a mans! Good thing ya mouthy!

Rock on girl!

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Jamie Charles

14 years ago

One of the better sales pages I have seen. Awesome Job!

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Action! - Action! - Action!

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donny531

14 years ago

I thought it looked good. maybe another buy now button sooner on the page

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ChrisMcDonald

14 years ago

I agree, I've seen a fair few sales pages that I skip over very quickly, purely because they don't capture my attention early on. Yours did, but I'm not sure why!

I ended up scanning (it's 4.20am here and I just woke up

) but I did notice some basic spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes that I believe will make your page even easier to read!

I don't wish to give you a hard sell on this, but please let me know if you'd be interested in me proofreading your entire page, for what I consider a very small fee and I'm sure you would too! You'd receive a comprehensive report on the changes needed, where they are located and a reason for the change. I can provide a sample and fellow warrior feedback.

Please let me know if you'd be interested! Oh, and well done again on creating a sales page that keeps people reading!

Chris

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Ben Gordon

14 years ago

Your website looks great! Everything looks great and converting! But, one thing I noticed is that your website doesn't have a ficon, I would suggest getting one

. It will make it even more professional.

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