My Hamsters Are Starving. Who Will Save Them?

Simon Ashari

15 years ago

LOL... love it.

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DougBarger

15 years ago

Oh good heavens Kevin,

I think you've been scammed! I tried to press the paypal button to send millions of dollars for sunflower seeds but it wouldn't clickthrough!

How cold has this world become?

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Nightengale

15 years ago

ROFL!

Thanks for the laugh! (I really needed it right now.)

Michelle

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Mark McClure

15 years ago

That's because you're feeding him all that Osaka okonomiyaki stodge - come to Kanto, baby!
Are you an 81x scammer too?

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1 reply

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Kevin Riley

15 years ago

Originally Posted by justfiverules

That's because you're feeding him all that Osaka okonomiyaki stodge - come to Kanto, baby!
Are you an 81x scammer too?

It's Kansai or nothing. You've only got Monjayaki. Poor blighters.

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ExRat

15 years ago

Hi,

No-one should give a rat's ass about these hamsters. They're nothing but gun-slinging mercenaries. They should be put to the wheel permanently to drive our power stations.

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2 replies

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Vince Runza Online

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ExRat

Hi,

No-one should give a rat's ass about these hamsters. They're nothing but gun-slinging mercenaries. They should be put to the wheel permanently to drive our power stations.

No doubt, a hamster was holding a gun to Kevin's head to make him post this pathetic plea. Here's the proof: Sue & Dan White: Hamster Terror

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Success_Gal 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Vince Runza Online

No doubt, a hamster was holding a gun to Kevin's head to make him post this pathetic plea. Here's the proof: Sue & Dan White: Hamster Terror

Kevin's Hamster has backup... watch out

Happy New Year everyone
Tina G
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- pearsonbrown 15 years ago
  
  I tried to set up a firesale.
  
  Unfortunately, one hamster got a bit too close to the fire.
  
  Pearson
  
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- Charles E. White 15 years ago
  
  Kevin, my friend, as I have told you before, they are going to come after you and lock you up some day.
  
  On the other hand..that was funny LMAO
  
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- BuddyT Banned 15 years ago
  
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  R Hagel 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by BuddyT
  
  Hamsters- Red wine or white wine...discuss.
  
  Buddy, you're showing your ignorance about hamsters here. The answer is: Beer.
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  ShayB 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by R Hagel
  
  Buddy, you're showing your ignorance about hamsters here. The answer is: Beer.
  
  It depends. If they are sauteed in a delicate garlic sauce, then beer would not be my first choice.
  
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  R Hagel 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by ShayRockhold
  
  It depends. If they are sauteed in a delicate garlic sauce, then beer would not be my first choice.
  
  Good point. That works if you're talking about the average hamster. But since we're talking about Kevin's hamsters, they're likely marinated in whiskey. So, if you drink a beer chaser you're more or less having a boilermaker.
  
  Thanks
  
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- traceye 15 years ago
  
  The cupboards were bare and hamsters want food
  Ol' Riley was in the worst possible mood
  What was the cause of the air in the house?
  Why Fat Freddy had gambled all the pellets - the louse!
  What's the solution, how to lift morale?
  It's simple just give all your cash to PayPal.
  
  Happy New Year
  Tracey
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Michelle Brouse 15 years ago
  
  Hahahah!
  
  Dang Kevin, if I only knew. I wouldn't have billed ya for the last covers. :p
  
  Them poor hamsters... look how dang hungry they are!
  
  YouTube - Funny Hamster Eating Fast
  
  Something HAS to be done, before them little mutants eat Riley!
  
  Thanks!
  Michelle
  
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zerofill

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ExRat

Hi,

No-one should give a rat's ass about these hamsters. They're nothing but gun-slinging mercenaries. They should be put to the wheel permanently to drive our power stations.

Haha if they are as fast as these suckers we would have free energy forever...

YouTube - My hamster can not manage to stop...

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David_Thompson 15 years ago

Hey Kevin,

them hamsters you've been feeding them way too much that local rum
what's the name....Sake (Saki)...lol

You've got to get them back on the wheel man...

--David
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Bev Clement

15 years ago

Kevin, you need to sort those hamsters out. I heard they nicked some Lindt chocolate and mincemeat over Christmas again. And yesterday we went flat hunting and the bus could hardly get up the hill, because the hamsters stopped working hard. Give them a good kick in the backside.

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Monetize

15 years ago

I have just PP'd you a gazillion dollars for hamster pellets.

Merry Christmas (and please don't ask for more as that
was my last gazillion)

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Arine Mark

15 years ago

I pressed the button at least three times. My reflex kicks in. LOL

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JayXtreme

15 years ago

Classic..

Thanks Kevin

Peace

Jay

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Nigel Greaves

15 years ago

Kevin,

Just sent you a couple of extra bottles of Whiskey to be on the safe side and to help you get over this traumatic event.

By the way can you tell Fat Freddy there's another game on round my place Friday?

Nigel

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Dave777

15 years ago

But can your Hamster do this?

Talking about Hamsters! Checkout the following stats...
Views: 4,456,008 Video Responses: 43 Text Comments: 9,261 etc...
All those itty bitty niche's to Dig out and Monetize...

THE LEGEND of Hamster piano and pop corn - Criceto e popcorn! 4 MILLION VIEWS!

=

Dave

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bobcath

15 years ago

Kevin

If the worst outcome should prevail (god forbid!), you could brighten the place up and add to the pantry supplies.

Did you know that hamsters make great jam. This jam has magical properties, especially with tulip seeds.

In the twinkling of an eye you can have 'Tulips from HamsterJam'.

Bobby

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AndrewCavanagh

15 years ago

Yes I was ready to donate to your poor hamsters too but that damn paypal button wouldn't work.

Have you ever thought of keeping Guinea Pigs...they can survive on grass...and not necessarily the smoking kind.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

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Bev Clement

15 years ago

Originally Posted by AndrewCavanagh

Yes I was ready to donate to your poor hamsters too but that damn paypal button wouldn't work.

Have you ever thought of keeping Guinea Pigs...they can survive on grass...and not necessarily the smoking kind.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

Andrew you can't tell him to keep Guinea Pigs they belong to me, that's my trademark, that a million guinea pigs you owe me now :p

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Kim Standerline

15 years ago

OMG that's about the worst one I ever heard lol

Originally Posted by bobcath

Kevin

If the worst outcome should prevail (god forbid!), you could brighten the place up and add to the pantry supplies.

Did you know that hamsters make great jam. This jam has magical properties, especially with tulip seeds.

In the twinkling of an eye you can have 'Tulips from HamsterJam'.

Bobby

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milan

15 years ago

Can we have this thread sticky??

Not believable though. We've heard this many times before. You need to tell us the credit card company name, scan all the documents (and hamsters) and we'll check the story (Bev can do that

). If everything turns out right we'll start an endless thread: "Let's save the hamsters"...

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kennethtang

15 years ago

Kevin,

My Siamese cats are on the way.

Kenneth

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Anthony Robinson 15 years ago

Kevin,

Fear not, I've reported your hamsters to the proper authorities:

**** You, Penguin

DO NOT click that link if you're easily offended!
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BizBooks

15 years ago

Let the hamster free!!!!!!

(or buy it a fur coat!)

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Ken Leatherman

15 years ago

Kevin,

Big Mike has started a Greece Marathon of sleeping in the Gutter to raise more PayPal buttons, which don't work, to save your dorky hamsters. As he is sleeping he asked me to forward all proceeds to your first PayPal Button (that doesn't work).

Furthermore, he has decreed the next time you fly over to bow before him while he sits on the throne, to leave the hamsters in Japan. It's way too difficult to stop them from drowning when he flushes.

Ken
The Old Geezer

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John Rogers 15 years ago

I'm having visions of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal.

I suspect hamsters are quite tasty when marinated in whiskey.

It may even catch on. Set up a stand at the public market and give it a go, Kevin.

Think franchise!

John
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Bev Clement

15 years ago

John they eat fried rat in China, I would imagine they do fried hamster as well, do you want to go and check it out. And no, I haven't eaten fried rat, and they serve it with rape.

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ExRat

15 years ago

Hi Bev,

John they eat fried rat in China

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Bev Clement 15 years ago

What can I say Roger :p

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bobcath

15 years ago

Bev

Have you tried Ham Stirfry?

(the jokes get worse!)

Bobby

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Bev Clement

15 years ago

Bobby what can I say an hambush

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JohnMcCabe 15 years ago

Kevin, I have a question for that little SOB Fat Freddie - What did he do with all the loot he won from me? :confused:

YouTube - Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire
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- BIG Mike Banned 15 years ago
  
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  Nightengale 15 years ago
  
  Roger,
  
  I love your animated icons! Where do you get them? I especially love the little guy in the shower who realizes he's being watched and tries to cover himself. Hilarious! Can you send me the code for that one? Pretty please???
  
  Michelle
  
  P.S. On a more serious note, I espcially love the quote in your sig file: "No more prizes for predicting rain. Prizes only for building arks." It's been going 'round and 'round in my head this morning -- a reminder to get off my bum and do some work!
  
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R Hagel

15 years ago

Kevin,

No.

I will not send you money. I believe this is a huge scam. How do I know you won't just drink my donation away?

Send me your snail mail address instead, and I'll send you hamster pellets. I may even send them a book on winning poker so you guys don't fall into this sorry mess again.

Sincerely,

Becky

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John Taylor

15 years ago

Did someone mention Whisky?

John

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R Hagel 15 years ago

Originally Posted by John Taylor

Did someone mention Whisky?

John

Nope, read the thread again. I didn't see Kevin mention anything about whisky.

I believe whiskey was mentioned, though.

cheers,
Becky
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- John Taylor 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by R Hagel
  
  Nope, read the thread again. I didn't see Kevin mention anything about whisky.
  
  I believe whiskey was mentioned, though.
  
  cheers,
  Becky
  
  Oh, that's OK then.. I'd hate to feel I was
  missing out on a nice malt, especially on
  Hogmanay!
  
  John
  
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Ken Leatherman

15 years ago

John,

I loved it. I'm still laughing as I dip into the honey to glaze my hamsters.

Ken

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Steve Mount

15 years ago

I clicked the button 52022034802 times. Hope this helps

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John Rogers

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Thankfully, the Whiskey cabinet was fully stocked so I shall survive. I only ask your help for the hamsters sake.

You're hoarding the whiskey and forcing the poor hamsters to drink sake?

Cruel *******!

John

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bobcath

15 years ago

Bev

Best be careful on this topic, it may backfire, you never know what shamsters are listening in.

(there, told you they get worse!

)

Bobby

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Steven Wagenheim

15 years ago

Here....I got you some hamster food.

Now go feed 'em for crying out loud.

Sheesh.

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George Wright

15 years ago

Hi Kevin,

Sorry I can't help today. I sent all my bank account information to a gentleman who needed it to make a large deposit to my account. Seems his cousin Dr. (name withheld so no one will get this away from me) needed to transfer some funds to the U.S.

Anyway something strange happened. A bank error or something. "They" say I have no money. As soon as I get the bank straight and as soon as Dr. x puts the 20 billion in my account I'll buy you all the hamster food you want. Hang in there my friend.

George Wright

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zerofill

15 years ago

Originally Posted by George Wright

Hi Kevin,

Sorry I can't help today. I sent all my bank account information to a gentleman who needed it to make a large deposit to my account. Seems his cousin Dr. (name withheld so no one will get this away from me) needed to transfer some funds to the U.S.

Anyway something strange happened. A bank error or something. "They" say I have no money. As soon as I get the bank straight and as soon as Dr. x puts the 20 billion in my account I'll buy you all the hamster food you want. Hang in there my friend.

George Wright

George don't worry I am sure Raymon...errrrr someone will fix that all up for you.

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tommygadget

15 years ago

You know, this thread lacks credibility. Kevin, please provide screenshots of the charges you "attribute" to said hamster. Also, I want to see surveillance video of him doing the crime or you won't see a single seed from me. So until you provide the suitable proof, stop scamming the forum. Oh, and stop posting as McHam, we're onto you, we see your IP.

TomG.

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Dave OSullivan

15 years ago

Kevin,

Thanks for the laugh!

Happy New Year! and I hope you and your hamsters have a prosperous one.

Cheers,
Dave.

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Mark Riddle

15 years ago

Until 1930, it was assumed that the golden hamster was extinct as a species.

Then, in 1930, near the ancient town of Aleppo in Syria, a Jewish archaeologist by the name of Aaron Abrahams, came across a nest containing a small rodent with twelve babies that he could not identify.

He carefully placed the family into a container and had them taken to the Hebrew University in Jerusalem.

There they were identified as golden hamsters and, under laboratory conditions, encouraged to breed.

As a result, all the golden hamsters kept as pets in the world today are descended from the mother and babies found by accident in Syria back in 1930.

It has never again been found in the wild.

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ShayB 15 years ago

Dearest Honorable Kevin the Hamster King,

Greetings to you from the South of Carolina! I pray that this post finds you and your beloved hamsters in good health.

My beloved husband, the Earl of France, recently passed away and left me a vast fortune worth 18 bazillion American dollars.

I would truly love to share this fortune with you for the sake of your hamsters, but militant rebels have seized my assets and will not allow me access to my dear departed husband's fortune.

If you will be so kind as to send me your bank account information, blood type, length of your index finger and name of your first born child, I would be happy to share this incredible fortune with you, in return for your generous nature.

I offer this so that your hamsters do not suffer so.

I anxiously await your reply.

The Duchess of Switzerland
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- Ken Strong 15 years ago
  
  Ah... the generosity of Warriors warms my heart... or maybe that's just the bratwurst.
  
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traces2757

15 years ago

As much as the plight of your hamsters moves me to tears, there is something that keeps going through my mind:

"Give a hamster a few sunflower seeds and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to play Texas Hold'em with the big boys and you feed him for a lifetime."

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Collette 15 years ago

Hamster Sushi...

mmmm... tastes like SPAM!
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- Collette 15 years ago
  
  You know, there's good-paying work for hamsters that want to work...
  
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John Rowe

15 years ago

Some really funny responses in this thread. Thanks for the laughs.

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Norma Holt

15 years ago

Hahahaha. This is just the kind of nonsense I did not need today as I try to get back into some serious work.

Thanks everyone for the hilarity. Love the videos. Boy what people do for a moment in the sun and some fame. With all due respects to NKC that 'hamsters roasting on an open fire' should be archived.

You made my day.

Norma

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Amber_Writes

15 years ago

That was a very good laugh. I never saw it coming. LOL!

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

WARNING... don't get fooled everyone, this is NOT Kevin Riley who posted this...

It's actually his hamsters that now obviously have him under mind control... just look at what he said to me a while ago:

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Those "poor defenseless" hamsters? the evil little geniuses have taken over the Labs. They have me strapped to this chair, flogging me to work harder while they recline on pillows and are fed sunflower seeds.

http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...tml#post321090

We all need to help Kev out... I think he is in serious trouble... now the hamsters are posing as Kevin himself, ruining his reputation, just to launch their sunflower seed scams.

Kevin, if you are still out there and alive, please let us know what to do to help you escape!!!

- Jared

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Kevin Riley

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

[SIZE=5]
Kevin, if you are still out there and alive, please let us know what to do to help you escape!!![/B]

- Jared

Mpfh grgl mmmhhg mrph

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Mpfh grgl mmmhhg mrph

Huh? What was that? "Everything is fine - don't worry?" Oh good!

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ShayRockhold

Huh? What was that? "Everything is fine - don't worry?" Oh good!

Shay... oh dear lord, have those evil hamsters gotten to you to??? I'm genuinely scared... just who is next...

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

Shay... oh dear lord, have those evil hamsters gotten to you to??? I'm genuinely scared... just who is next...

*smiling in a stilted, unnatural fashion*

"Why, Jared, I don't know what you are talking about...."

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ShayRockhold

*smiling in a stilted, unnatural fashion*

"Why, Jared, I don't know what you are talking about...."

Oh boy... I'm in trouble... ahem... I mean, yea, listen to anything the hamsters tell you...

What just happened to my brain???

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

Oh boy... I'm in trouble... ahem... I mean, yea, listen to anything the hamsters tell you...

What just happened to my brain???

Hehehehehehehehhehehe...

Nothing at all....you are going to be fine....

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ShayRockhold

Hehehehehehehehhehehe...

Nothing at all....you are going to be fine....

You are so right Shay. Hamsters are our friends and I will do anything they want me to do... I think you are right... if I do everything they tell me, I should be fine... Just ask the mubling Kevin Riley...

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Mpfh grgl mmmhhg mrph

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

You are so right Shay. Hamsters are our friends and I will do anything they want me to do... I think you are right... if I do everything they tell me, I should be fine... Just ask the mubling Kevin Riley...

That's right....

*grabs the duct tape and rope....*

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Originally Posted by ShayRockhold

That's right....

*grabs the duct tape and rope....*

I didn't think the evil forces would corrupt you that easily Shay...

HELP! The hamster virus is spreading... get out while you can!!!
Mmmph... MMMM~!!! (duct tape sucks!@!)

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Mpfh grgl mmmhhg mrph

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

HELP! The hamster virus is spreading... get out while you can!!!

I didn't think they would get to you that easily Shay...

Mmmph... MMMM~!!! (duct tape sucks!@!)

Hehehehehehehehe....it doesn't suck. It's sticky.

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Jared Alberghini

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

Mpfh grgl mmmhhg mrph

Shite people... don't you see that someone needs our help here... Kevin is in serious trouble...

Is there anyone that has any anti-hamster-venom here? Quick, time is of the essence...

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ShayB

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jared Alberghini

Shite people... don't you see that someone needs our help here... Kevin is in serious trouble...

Is there anyone that has an anti-hamster-venom here? Quick, time is of the essence...

Phasers set on stun would subdue those little suckers pretty quickly. :rolleyes:

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Suthan M

15 years ago

hamsters for PETA !!!

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robocallaghan

15 years ago

Fat Freddie is well known on the circuit and a big it with the ladies?

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Rachel Goodchild

15 years ago

If the worst happens and they do die...
can you post them to me? my cat loves hampsters

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lraustin

15 years ago

What a wild thread, Kevin.
If there is one thing I learned here... That is to find a way to make
a post sticky, so people will read your story. Is there a hidden meaning
here with hamsters that I'm not getting? I feel that I'm missing something. You'll have to do a little better than share a starving
hamster story before I go clicking on a paypal button.

Larry

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Sylvia Meier

15 years ago

Originally Posted by lraustin

What a wild thread, Kevin.
If there is one thing I learned here... That is to find a way to make
a post sticky, so people will read your story. Is there a hidden meaning
here with hamsters that I'm not getting? I feel that I'm missing something. You'll have to do a little better than share a starving
hamster story before I go clicking on a paypal button.

Larry

Now the hamsters have done it, people are joining in the future and posting. Its still december here yet lraustin joined the WF in January 2009!

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ShayB 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe

Now the hamsters have done it, people are joining in the future and posting. Its still december here yet lraustin joined the WF in January 2009!

I see Dec. 2008 for him. :confused:
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Jason Moffatt

15 years ago

Man,

I'm trying to donate money but can't figure out how! I'm always in support of Hamsters playing online poker.

YouTube - Surfing Rats

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Sylvia Meier

15 years ago

Mine shows 2009 may be I havent changed the default time setting lol

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ShayB 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Sylvia Rolfe

Mine shows 2009 may be I havent changed the default time setting lol

Ack! It's a tme warp!
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TimS

15 years ago

The button isn't working. Where can I mail my check?

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Kevin Riley 15 years ago

Originally Posted by TimS

The button isn't working. Where can I mail my check?

It's very difficult to cash cheques in Japan, but we do accept bundles of cash. Just post it to:

Tall Bearded Gaijin
Osaka, Japan

They'll find me.
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Tsnyder

15 years ago

I've caught the little poker playing miscreant in the act...

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angela99

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Kevin Riley

I'm so sorry to air my tale of woe here, but I just can't bear to see the innocent hamsters pining away without any sustenance. It's a story we probably have all heard before of a hamster and a credit card.

I have this one hamster called Fat Freddy who is addicted to online poker. Over the Christmas holidays he went wild with the credit card and put the whole Labs into serious debt. There is no more money for hamster pellets or even a handful of hay.

Thankfully, the Whiskey cabinet was fully stocked so I shall survive. I only ask your help for the hamsters sake. Those poor little furry faces with their big glistening eyes, woefully looking to you for just a handful of sunflower seeds or some Happy Hamster munchies.

You may press the PayPal button as many times as your warm heart desires.

Giggle. :-)

I can see you turning this into a product, a la the