It's Up To You To Make This Happen

1 replies
Dear Fellow Internet Marketers,

I didn't know where to turn for this request until I read some of the other posts here. I know you are a generous group, I'm not going to hold that against you, so I know I'm asking the right people.

Here's my story...

My New Years' goal for 2008 was to make a million dollars by Jan 1st 2009. I had a lot of people tell me to go for it, not let anybody tell me I couldn't do it, anything is possible if I put my mind to it, etc, etc.

None of them were any help with a plan, or a method, or a system that would make me a million dollars in my first year, but I did have so much smoke blown up my butt that my hair roots have now turned gray. So I haven't made any money, but I do look distinquished, finally.

Anyway, here's where you come in...

You've probably heard that outsourcing is the way to make a lot of money. I heard it, too. So I did a lot of it.

Here's a breakdown for your records:

Copywriting - $26,487.00 for my sales letter and a 5 follow-up email autoresponder blitz.

Web design - $3,297.00 for a killer web page that is so sticky it stays on my monitor even after the power is turned off.

Website graphics - $1297.00 for spinning monkeys, plus a million dollar bill with my picture on it that says "This Could Be You". Also a video opt-in box that grabs webcam images so I know who's really signing up.

Hosting - $1800.00 for a ten year plan at $15.00 a month. This includes the "Get Real or Get Lost Discount". So I saved a bundle right there.

Ghostwriting - $2,337.48 for a series of drip articles that make me look like the Dr. Phil of my niche. I'm not sure if Poodle Pedicuring needs to be this deep, but I'm taking it to that level, anyway.

Adwords campaign management - $500.00 upfront, the rest TBD once we start tweeking the campaign.

Pre-paid Adwords account - $12,000.00 charged to my American Excess card.

Product creation - $16.47 for an PLR ebook that's as close to what my niche is about that I could find without wasting too much time looking. The only reason I went wild and spent so much money on the ebook was I got it in 4 different langauges. I'll be selling it for $5.97, so I only need to sell three of them to break even, and then the rest is pure profit.

Anyway, here's where you come in again...

My total outlay up to this point, not including all the money I've invested in guru education, ($14,634.52 plus the $2,200.00 monthly dues to keep myself on the cutting edge) is $47,734.95 for this project.

Now, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking that $47,734.95 is chump change compared to the $1,000,000.00 I'll make when I go live with this project. And I agree. So we're both on the same page here.

Let's keep the synergy going...What I am asking from you is a small advance to tide me over until I get over my fear of actually putting up the website and becoming a millionaire. I know it will happen, I'm not lazy or anything like that, I just feel I'm entitled to a little help here, and cash seems like the best route.

I'm sure you can understand, after all, we're both human, and we both have the same needs. My needs just happen to take priority over your needs right now. I'm sure someone will come along and help you out when you need it, but right now it's my turn.

I'm thinking a small donation on your part of $52,734.95 to cover the $47,734.95 I've spent so far, plus a much needed $5,000.00 to tide me over and allow me to get a 65" HD-LCD TV before the Super Bowl airs would be appropreate. Not only appropreate, but fair.

If you feel I deserve more, or your generousity requires you to give more, please consider this just as a starting point, and we can negotiate upwards from there. I won't be offended, I'm not that kind of person.

Please be assured that once the money starts rolling in from the ebook sales, let's say 300 units a day @ $5.97, or a daily total of almost $1,800.00 you will begin to see a return on your generousity. At some point I will have made enough money to start paying you back.

So if you take the $47,734.95 I've spent so far, and add the $52,734.95 I get from you, plus the $14,634.52 I spent on courses and add a years worth of continuity we get a total of $141,504.42 as a base figure.

This means if I make roughly $1800.00 a day in sales I will have made that money back in less than 90 days.

So after 90 days I will be free to start paying you a dividend on the $52,734.95 you give me today. My gut tells me that a $100.00 a day cut will leave me enough room to do what I want to do without cutting into my future plans, or having to take on any additional and/or undesirable work.

If you feel $100.00 a day paid back to you is too steep for my budget, or that I am being overly optimistic in my projections, please let me know. I'm new at this, so you may want to check my math before you agree to this.

Anyway, I don't want this post to be too long, so I'll just finish it early and let you take it from here. After all, the next step is yours anyways, and if we're going to get this done, now would be the perfect time.

Decide amoungst yourselves who get paid back first. I don't want to be seen as giving preference to any one individule. It would be bad for my image.

Humbly deserving,

#greed #happen #ignorance #lack of morals #laziness #make
  • Profile picture of the author Clark
    Awesome post KJ!

    I'd be happy to give you $52,734.95 just as soon as I free up the money I used to help a deposed Nigerian Prince get his fortune released back to him (...and I get a cut of that too so it seems we'll both be rich this year!)

    Very clever, sir!
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