Outside The Dadgum Box...

43 replies
Ole Lester was walkin in the backwoods when he come upon a coffin sittin smack dab in the middle of a clearin. Inside that coffin was a nice fluffy pillar and a soft cushy blanket. Ole Lester bein somewhat tuckered out climbed in that coffin and laid down to take a nap. All of a sudden... BLOOIE"... somebody done went and shut that coffin lid and locked it.

Now Lester's story is a story for a different time and a different place. The only reason I am tellin that part of it is that, because of that little incident, Lester Hoakie invented the phrase, "Thinking outside the dadgum box"

Let me ask you a question...

If you was to go fishin, would you want to catch a Perch or a whomperjaw Catfish?

If you was to go courtin somebody, would you be wantin to court Phyllis Diller or Shania Twain?

If you was wantin to have a sip, would you be wantin Maddog 20/20 or would you be wantin some of ole Thad's corn squeezins?

If you was expectin somebody REAL important for vittles, would you be wantin to make them folks fish sticks or some fresh kilt Road Kill Possum Stew?

Wellsir, if you are the type of folk who want the best you kin get, you gots to start thankin outside the box! Do thangs a little different. Put a different spin on the bait when you cast out into the river. Look at thangs a little differently from other folks. That shore is what Ole Thad does and I am makin over $100 each and ever dadburn month. YOU COULD BE DOIN THAT TOO! Now don't be expectin to start makin that much money right away. It might take a bit but within two shakes of a bull's tail, you can be right up there with ole Thad.

Let me give you a little mental exercise. Thank about this and tell me what you would do...

You own a little bait shop what sells night crawlers, minners, shrimp, crickets, grasshoppers and all the fixins that goes with them. You have a nice little business goin and life is good.

One day some folks put another bait shop right next to yours and they put a sign out front that says, "Lower Prices". Then, not long after that there ANOTHER bait shop puts in right next to you on the other side. Their sign says, "Lowest Prices".

Now if you was to be thankin outside the box, what would YOU do? I invite all you Outside-The-Box-Thankin folks to tell me what you would do. I would be interested to see how many creative folks we have in here!

I'll tell you MY answer later!

Ya'll be takin care!
#box #dadgum
  • Profile picture of the author DianaHeuser
    Now that I have finished laughing

    I would create a sign that says "Best Prices - Best Value" and have some great looking girls in bikini's standing outside my door with those signs.

    Di
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    • Profile picture of the author ShayB
      I'd raffle off a date with Thad to make customers flock to my shop.

      Every purchase enters you in the drawing. I'd expect I'd sell out of stock in record time!
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    • Originally Posted by DianaHeuser View Post

      Now that I have finished laughing

      I would create a sign that says "Best Prices - Best Value" and have some great looking girls in bikini's standing outside my door with those signs.

      Di
      Well, I shore nuff like that there bikini idea. Heck, if you was to pay enough, Ole Thad might just slip on one a them thong bikinis and stand out there for you.

      The only thang I see that might be causin a problem with the "Best Prices - Best Value" idea is the fact that you would have to be lowerin your prices to make that the truth. I'm just not sold on the strategy of lowerin prices cause I thank there's a better way.

      I thank the better idea would be to make what you got in yore store MORE VALUABLE.

      Anyhow, I thank you are very creative folk and I shore appreciate yore pitchin in!
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      • I'd raffle off a date with Thad to make customers flock to my shop.

        Every purchase enters you in the drawing. I'd expect I'd sell out of stock in record time!
        Well now Shayster, what you would be offerin would be pert near priceless and I ain't so shore I want to be sexually objectified! I'm gettin tired of folks just thankin of me as another purty face!

        BUT offerin a sweepstakes ain't a bad idea either!
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        • Profile picture of the author ShayB
          Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

          Well now Shayster, what you would be offerin would be pert near priceless and I ain't so shore I want to be sexually objectified! I'm gettin tired of folks just thankin of me as another purty face!

          BUT offerin a sweepstakes ain't a bad idea either!
          What! You mean you don't want to be swappin tobacky with one o' the Bojangle triplets?! Heck, two of 'em have four whole teeth!

          Maybe you're getting too fancified. :rolleyes:
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          • Originally Posted by ShayRockhold View Post

            What! You mean you don't want to be swappin tobacky with one o' the Bojangle triplets?! Heck, two of 'em have four whole teeth!

            Maybe you're getting too fancified. :rolleyes:
            Well Shayster, fact of the matter is that all those teeth get in the way of tabacky swappin!

            OR "free maps to favorite, little known fishing holes with every bait purchase"
            That there is an excellent idea! Instead of competin on price, you compete on product and value!

            BTW Sal, let's be keepin how much I make to ourself cause I don't want them reveneurs to come knockin at my door!


            The point being that people are not buyin bait, they are buyin the anticipated results.
            Dang Bill, Oaklahomians ain't noted for their clear speakin ability but I gots to admit that you did a right fine job!
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Why Thad - $100 a month now? Bet you've moved up to a double wide by these days.

    I'd broaden the types of bait that I carry and put up a "Custom Bait - best fresh bait varieties for the fish you want to catch. Free coffee and consultation inside."

    OR "free maps to favorite, little known fishing holes with every bait purchase"
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    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    My sign would be sayin:

    More award-winning catfish are caught with Thad's premium baits!!

    The point being that people are not buyin bait, they are buyin the anticipated results.
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      My sign would be sayin:




      The point being that people are not buyin bait, they are buyin the anticipated results.
      Okay - that's good. But can you prove average results?
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      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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      • Profile picture of the author tpw
        Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

        More award-winning catfish are caught with Thad's premium baits!!

        Okay - that's good. But can you prove average results?

        It depends on if'n I have a gud relationship wit my customers.

        I'd be mailing them and asking them to send pictures of them with their biggest catches with my bait.

        And since I was in bizness much longer than those there other folks, people will be sendin me more pictures.

        I might also offer them a free bait weekend, in exchange for copies of those photos.
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    • Profile picture of the author VanessaB
      1.) Get a deal with a local beer distributor to buy beer at wholesale, raise bait prices, offer free 6 pack with purchase of 10 boxes of bait.

      2.) Get deal with local fishing captain, offer discount on fishing charters for my bait shop customers.

      3.) Do I have a boat? If so, hire captain to offer fishing charters.

      4.) Create strong USP- ie, 'Chum Fresh From The Oven Baked Right Here On Premises.' (pun intended).

      5.) Brand the USP

      6.) Host fishing contest with prizes to attract traffic to the shop.

      7.) Joint venture with a local charity, (Boy Scouts, Boys and Girls Club) to promote event, offering proceeds from entry fees to the charity.

      8.) Host a big party for the contestants and local fisher population. Probably a fish fry with BBQ.

      9.) Co venture with other local area businesses to provide entertainment, equipment and adventure for the event (inflatable bounce houses and waterslides for the short people, if it's summer time... music by local bands...etc)

      10.) Become the area's leading authority on local fishing honey holes, and the bait needed to fish them.

      -Dani
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      • Originally Posted by DanielleS View Post

        1.) Get a deal with a local beer distributor to buy beer at wholesale, raise bait prices, offer free 6 pack with purchase of 10 boxes of bait.

        2.) Get deal with local fishing captain, offer discount on fishing charters for my bait shop customers.

        3.) Do I have a boat? If so, hire captain to offer fishing charters.

        4.) Create strong USP- ie, 'Chum Fresh From The Oven Baked Right Here On Premises.' (pun intended).

        5.) Brand the USP

        6.) Host fishing contest with prizes to attract traffic to the shop.

        7.) Joint venture with a local charity, (Boy Scouts, Boys and Girls Club) to promote event, offering proceeds from entry fees to the charity.

        8.) Host a big party for the contestants and local fisher population. Probably a fish fry with BBQ.

        9.) Co venture with other local area businesses to provide entertainment, equipment and adventure for the event (inflatable bounce houses and waterslides for the short people, if it's summer time... music by local bands...etc)

        10.) Become the area's leading authority on local fishing honey holes, and the bait needed to fish them.

        -Dani
        Dang Dani, them is right nice suggestions! Heck, it makes me want to open a bait shop just so's I can try them out!

        Several of you gots great promotional ideas that would be slickern a head full of Brylcreem. So it is obvious to Ole Thad that promotions is a good way to get the upper hand but what can you come up with that don't involve promotions! Any ideas?
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Speshul deal -
        Bigger worms traned to ketch whoppers - get'im now, ain't got minny


        Considering Lester's sad tale - it's a wonder the famous phrase didn't end up being "sleep outside the box". Would have turned years of advice from "wow" to "huh?"
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        • Bigger worms traned to ketch whoppers - get'im now, ain't got minny
          Well, that shore might work but what if the customers misunderstood and tried to trade them night crawlers at Burger King?
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      My sign would be sayin:

      More award-winning catfish are caught with Thad's premium baits!!
      The point being that people are not buyin bait, they are buyin the anticipated results.
      That thar is as close as a pair of mud dobbers in love to bein' a great idear, but ya left out one thang. It does show why two heads iz sometimes better'n one. Me and Bill make a helluva team, 'cept we ain't never teamed up yet.

      I'd run with Bill's premium bait angle, only I'd write up a bunch of fishing tips and print a bunch up. My sign would say somethin like:
      Git a FREE secrit fishin' tip with each purchase of Thad's premium bait. With our "best in Stumpwoody Holler" bait and our insider secret fishin' know-how, you'll soon be catchin' them thar whomperjaw catfishes like we do ever day.

      PS - Collect our fishin' secrits and ever'body will want to go a fishin' with you. Make 'em pay you to take 'em, no sense in lettin a chance for free tobacky and corn squeezins go to waste!

      PPS - Git yer secret keyword inside and refer three friends who buy from us an' the nixt time you buy bait we'll give ya two fer the price of one!
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      • Profile picture of the author tpw
        Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        More award-winning catfish are caught with Thad's premium baits!!

        That thar is as close as a pair of mud dobbers in love to bein' a great idear, but ya left out one thang. It does show why two heads iz sometimes better'n one. Me and Bill make a helluva team, 'cept we ain't never teamed up yet.

        I'd run with Bill's premium bait angle, only I'd write up a bunch of fishing tips and print a bunch up. My sign would say somethin like:
        Git a FREE secrit fishin' tip with each purchase of Thad's premium bait. With our "best in Stumpwoody Holler" bait and our insider secret fishin' know-how, you'll soon be catchin' them thar whomperjaw catfishes like we do ever day.

        PS - Collect our fishin' secrits and ever'body will want to go a fishin' with you. Make 'em pay you to take 'em, no sense in lettin a chance for free tobacky and corn squeezins go to waste!

        The only problemz with that much text on a sign is everyone will be runnin their pickups into each other while drivin down the road and tryin to read the sign.

        Sides that, ain't no redneck with an attention span long enugh to consume that much information.

        So maybe the sign outta say:

        Git a FREE secrit fishin' tip picture book with each purchase of Thad's premium bait!!
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      • Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

        That thar is as close as a pair of mud dobbers in love to bein' a great idear, but ya left out one thang. It does show why two heads iz sometimes better'n one. Me and Bill make a helluva team, 'cept we ain't never teamed up yet.

        I'd run with Bill's premium bait angle, only I'd write up a bunch of fishing tips and print a bunch up. My sign would say somethin like:
        Git a FREE secrit fishin' tip with each purchase of Thad's premium bait. With our "best in Stumpwoody Holler" bait and our insider secret fishin' know-how, you'll soon be catchin' them thar whomperjaw catfishes like we do ever day.

        PS - Collect our fishin' secrits and ever'body will want to go a fishin' with you. Make 'em pay you to take 'em, no sense in lettin a chance for free tobacky and corn squeezins go to waste!

        PPS - Git yer secret keyword inside and refer three friends who buy from us an' the nixt time you buy bait we'll give ya two fer the price of one!
        Dang Dennis, that there is some mighty fine copywritin! Heck, if you had put a PayPal button on there, I would have bought my own bait!
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Let's see .. premium bait. Secret fishin tips.
    And Daisy Mae is the cashier with them cute little jean cutoffs and halter top.
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      Let's see .. premium bait. Secret fishin tips.
      And Daisy Mae is the cashier with them cute little jean cutoffs and halter top.

      A redneck dream deal...

      I'd go fer that.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      The only problemz with that much text on a sign is everyone will be runnin their pickups into each other while drivin down the road and tryin to read the sign.

      Sides that, ain't no redneck with an attention span long enugh to consume that much information.

      So maybe the sign outta say:
      You iz right. We'd have to use a few emphasized keywords to get them to stop instead of just skimming the article...er, sign as they drive by.

      Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

      Dang Dennis, that there is some mighty fine copywritin! Heck, if you had put a PayPal button on there, I would have bought my own bait!
      Well now, let me say thet thar iz a mighty fine compleement comin' from a Stumpwoody star as lumino...loomino...that shines as bright as yew.

      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      Let's see .. premium bait. Secret fishin tips.
      And Daisy Mae is the cashier with them cute little jean cutoffs and halter top.
      I'm likin' this gal a lot.
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      • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
        Well, Thad. We got lower prices on one side and lowest prices on th'other. Sounds a tad desperational to me.

        Guess what I'd do is put up a sign sayin' "Sold Out Again. New Stock Arriving Tomorrow - Reserve Your Order Now (Sorry, Only One Purchase Per Customer)"

        Reckon I'd soon be reelin' in those punters.


        Frank
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    • Profile picture of the author VanessaB
      Sign Out front....

      GET SOME


      FISH THAT IS...
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    • Profile picture of the author Alan Ashwood
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      Let's see .. premium bait. Secret fishin tips.
      And Daisy Mae is the cashier with them cute little jean cutoffs and halter top.
      Trouble is, I mentally visualise things, an' yore 'scrpshun nearly gived me a forth 'art attack.
      Way t' go tho'.

      Lern American for Brits. Lessons half price.
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      Now where did I put that pencil?

      Time for a cuppa.
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  • Mighty fine answers! MIGHTY FINE! So let me throw a little "ain't in the box" thankin! What if I was to put up a big sign above my door what said... "MAIN ENTRANCE!"

    Shore nuff that sounds strange but that there is what all this thankin differently is all about. Be seein thangs no one else is seein! Doin thangs yore own way.

    What happened when all them settlers followed the Oregon Trail? THEY ALL WOUND UP IN OREGON! Now that would be okay but what if some folks decided to blaze their OWN trail? They might have been the folks who discovered some new place that they could have named after themselves! If I had lived back in them thar times, we might have a Thadazona instead of Arizona. Think outside the box. Blaze a new trail.

    My corn squeezins might not have become the bestest in the whole dadburn world if I hadn't tried somethin different an mixed Rattlesnake venom with Nitroglycerine. That there is what makes the taste just right. Outside the box!

    What if folks created membership sites where they PAID other people to join? Maybe they have a HUGE upsell in the site or somethin that they figger people would be wantin. (That thar is just an example so don't go jumpin all over that)

    How's about a drive-in theater for gardeners? What if you created sock that folks wore on their dadgum heads? How about chewin tabacky what smelled like christmas trees?

    Oh, here is a mighty strange one... what if some folk created a rock that could be your pet? Weird huh?
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    • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
      Thad,

      My cat thinks outside of the box more often than I care to appreciate. Messes up the whole bathroom.

      I'm thinkin' that 'out of the box' stuff is highly overrated...

      ~Bill

      :p
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    • Profile picture of the author DianaHeuser
      Originally Posted by Thaddaeus T. Hogg View Post

      Mighty fine answers! MIGHTY FINE! So let me throw a little "ain't in the box" thankin! What if I was to put up a big sign above my door what said... "MAIN ENTRANCE!"
      Juslaaik. Yous Americans are jus so smart. Us Souf Effricens haf a lot to learn from yous guys. I fink I will jus go back to my boerewors, beer and braaivleis nows.

      (Just throwing in a South African accent to balance the hill billy's out)

      Di
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by DianaHeuser View Post

        Juslaaik. Yous Americans are jus so smart. Us Souf Effricens haf a lot to learn from yous guys. I fink I will jus go back to my boerewors, beer and braaivleis nows.

        (Just throwing in a South African accent to balance the hill billy's out)

        Di
        I'm glad to know beer is beer no matter the accent.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          What happened when all them settlers followed the Oregon Trail? THEY ALL WOUND UP IN OREGON! Now that would be okay but what if some folks decided to blaze their OWN trail? They might have been the folks who discovered some new place that they could have named after themselves! If I had lived back in them thar times, we might have a Thadazona instead of Arizona.
          What's a bit dd is I understand what yu said there. Not sure that's normal.


          If you want to keep it simple, just go with

          Fair Price

          Biggest Worms

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      • Profile picture of the author Istvan Horvath
        Originally Posted by DianaHeuser View Post

        Juslaaik. Yous Americans are jus so smart.
        Oyve! This is not American joke, this is joke from the old shtetl*...

        *CEE (Central Eastern Europe) Ashkenazi Jewish village
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    I'm posting this before I let the other folks here color my thinking.

    I'd put up a big sign over my front door that said "Enter Here"

    Now, Thad, if you'd kindly pass that jug...
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Im a always thinnin outside the box. The problem cums when Is have to type it
    intu this hur box(somes people calls it a computor).

    Thad, What guud is it tu thin outside the box an thin go typin it intu one?

    Ium just lost...Pleeze advize?

    ~MM~
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  • Profile picture of the author Terry Hatfield
    I would put on my sign "Free Bait!".

    Then when they came in I would say yeppins free bait with pole rental.

    On a side note, you talked so much about food in the early part of this post that I find myself craving some fried potatoes, pork chops, corn bread and soup beans like my Mama used to make.
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  • Ah wud tern thet dadgum bait shop inta one o' them SooShee Restorants!
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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    Thadd,

    Whatever moonshine you're drinking, send it on over via UPS delivery to Tustin, California asap!

    RoD
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      I have just one question.

      Doesn't anybody in this thread know how to speak English? :confused:
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

        I have just one question.

        Doesn't anybody in this thread know how to speak English? :confused:
        As a Florida State Trooper once said to me as he listened to my explanation of how I missed the stop sign...

        "Whuh choo be talkin' 'bout, boah?"

        :p
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      • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
        Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

        I have just one question.

        Doesn't anybody in this thread know how to speak English? :confused:
        ¿Qué dijiste? No te entiendo.

        RoD
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  • Profile picture of the author Andy Fletcher
    Catch the biggest fish <- benefit

    Limited stock available <- scarcity

    Enter here <- call to action

    $ <- profit
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    • Originally Posted by Andy Fletcher View Post

      Catch the biggest fish <- benefit

      Limited stock available <- scarcity

      Enter here <- call to action

      $ <- profit
      Nice breakdown Andy... very nice un!


      As a Florida State Trooper once said to me as he listened to my explanation of how I missed the stop sign...

      "Whuh choo be talkin' 'bout, boah?"
      Sorta like the highway peetrol what stopped Dookie. He asked him, "Got any ID boy?" and Dookie replied, "About what?"
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  • Profile picture of the author LynnLewis
    THE funniest thread, EVER!!!
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