Have you read this?

Wikipedia:External links - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There's a facility in there for handling disputes too.

I don't think there is anything to "dispute" there...

When you want to add your 'self-serving' links, the Wiki editors will delete it mercilessly. Period. And they should....

For your link to be retained on wiki you need your article (and site really) need to be recognised as an authority. I've had some links last over a year on the site. The traffic lift you get can be stupendous.
Wikipedia is plagued by hostile editing, i.e. the assumed sole ownership of some subjects by some editors no matter how much of an expert you may be on the subject too. On the other hand, most editors do a good job of deleting spam links. Can you imagine how utterly devoid of value Wikipedia would be if every link posted was retained?