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Help, My Landing Page Sucks!

by GaryShouldis
15 replies
Hey Warrior Forum,
I've created a digital product for my blog, it's a customizable operations manual for small business owners. I'm having trouble with my landing page, I feel like it sucks. I haven't started a PPC campaign to test it yet because I know it needs help before I even do that.
I'm hoping I can get some honest and brutal feedback. It would be much appreciated.
The only thing I don't want to create is the never ending sales page where you have to scroll for 15 minutes before you find out what the offer is.

Thanks in advance! Gary Shouldis

thesmallbusinessplaybook.com/products/
#landing #landing page analysis #landing page copywrirting #landing page expert #landing page help #landing page tutorial #page #sucks
  • Profile picture of the author Bentley74
    Hey cool - yet another Ontario Warrior! (go team! lol)

    For starters, I will say that the page itself does not suck - that's a decent looking webpage.
    BUT for the purposes of selling your playbook via Adwords I WILL say it needs work.

    It looks like a regular website - a place people would find in the search engines etc.
    WAY too much going on there for someone clicking through your Adwords ad.

    Why not set up a dedicated page for the product itself, and eliminate most of the other distractions?

    B
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    • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
      Hey Bentley,
      Thanks for the feedback. I forgot to put the url for the actual product page, not sure if you made it to that page.

      thesmallbusinessplaybook.com/products/

      I feel like I have too much text on there but i'm not convincing anyone with what's on there right now. Also, should I shut off the menu bar for that page? Thanks again for the help. I'm originally from NYC but living here in Toronto for the past 4 years!
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      • Profile picture of the author SpicyRobby
        Hi Gary,

        If I were you, I'd remove bold formatting from the block of text on the left. It makes it very difficult to scan - you may want to emphasize the main points only instead of the whole text.

        Also, I'd elaborate on the actual manual's description - it has to be obvious for anyone landing on the page and I'm not sure it's the case at the moment. Is it a piece of software only? Is there an eBook attached to it as well? Maybe you can place the screenshots on the page itself with descriptions instead of using the slideshow, I think it might work better that way.

        Regards,

        Robby
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        • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
          Originally Posted by SpicyRobby View Post

          Hi Gary,

          If I were you, I'd remove bold formatting from the block of text on the left. It makes it very difficult to scan - you may want to emphasize the main points only instead of the whole text.

          Also, I'd elaborate on the actual manual's description - it has to be obvious for anyone landing on the page and I'm not sure it's the case at the moment. Is it a piece of software only? Is there an eBook attached to it as well? Maybe you can place the screenshots on the page itself with descriptions instead of using the slideshow, I think it might work better that way.

          Regards,

          Robby
          Thanks for the great feedback Robby,
          I'll work on the text and simplifying the message. Cheers
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  • Profile picture of the author philm67
    It's not really a "landing page" (although technically "landing page" just means wherever you are sending people) - this is just the HOME page of your site.

    The very first thing you MUST do is ... You need to decide what you're shooting for. What do you want the prospect to do when they arrive? If your priority is making a sale, then you should be sending them to a sales page without all the other distractions. i.e. "about", "resources", advertising, etc.

    Originally Posted by GaryShouldis View Post

    The only thing I don't want to create is the never ending sales page where you have to scroll for 15 minutes before you find out what the offer is.
    The reason you see those never ending sales pages everywhere is simple ... THEY WORK. You might not like them now ... but they become far more tolerable when they've put a few dollars in your account.

    I'm not saying a sales page HAS to be long ... but it does have to be DEDICATED. Just sell. Nothing else.

    Maybe there's something better than a sales page. (I strongly believe there is.) Maybe what you want the prospect to do is OPT IN TO YOUR LIST. That requires a different kind of landing page. A "squeeze" page. The most powerful page in the IM'ers arsenal of weaponry.

    Build a page with an irresistible free offer that compliments your main site and your sales pages. Give something away in exchange for people's email address.

    You might already know this stuff. I guess I would just press to you again the primary importance of building a list. After you have people on a list you can send them to all the pages you ever create about your product.

    HTH
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    • Profile picture of the author Jacob Hargreave
      Yes I agree with the other posts here. Create a squeeze page to primarily collect names and email addresses. This will help you promote your product quickly and effectively. The page itself doesn't need to be the best looking thing on the planet and if you already have aweber then you are pretty much done.

      Go Here and watch video 1 & 2. This should tell you what you need to know.

      Your main page is too busy to sell a product. Just make believe all your potential customers have A.D.D and you will immediately understand why you might want to reconsider selling with your current page.
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      Jacob Hargreave at your service...

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      • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
        Originally Posted by Jacob Hargreave View Post

        Yes I agree with the other posts here. Create a squeeze page to primarily collect names and email addresses. This will help you promote your product quickly and effectively. The page itself doesn't need to be the best looking thing on the planet and if you already have aweber then you are pretty much done.



        Your main page is too busy to sell a product. Just make believe all your potential customers have A.D.D and you will immediately understand why you might want to reconsider selling with your current page.
        Hi Jacob,
        Thanks for the feedback. I'm using mailchimp right now, do you suggest Aweber, and if so, why? I was planning on running an adwords campaign for my product and an opt in form. Do you think i should go for the sign up form first and go for the product page after building a list? Thanks in advance!
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        • Profile picture of the author Warrior X
          For one thing, you're wasting too much valuable real estate up top with your header.

          The logo, navigation bar, and other non essentials (i.e. anything that isn't part of your sales message) should take up at most a 1/2 an inch. Then launch right into a benefit-driven headline, some testimonials, and other sales material.

          You may want to hire a professional to help with the copy and layout if you're serious about this product (not a plug, just my opinion).

          Best of luck,
          Jeremy
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          • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
            Originally Posted by CopyInTheRaw View Post

            For one thing, you're wasting too much valuable real estate up top with your header.

            The logo, navigation bar, and other non essentials (i.e. anything that isn't part of your sales message) should take up at most a 1/2 an inch. Then launch right into a benefit-driven headline, some testimonials, and other sales material.

            You may want to hire a professional to help with the copy and layout if you're serious about this product (not a plug, just my opinion).

            Best of luck,
            Jeremy
            Thanks Jeremy,
            Great stuff. I'm going to move all the clutter at the top ans go right into the sales and testimonials. Thanks for the feedback, Gary
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            • Profile picture of the author Bentley74
              I definitely agree with Jeremy.
              I tend to be easily distracted (lol), and again - while I think this page (your actual product page) looks great - my eyes are flitting about trying to find something that will QUICKLY let me know what this is all about. The header and navigation are throwing me off - and I don't think the rest of your page is focused enough as it is (looks like you have some great elements - you just need to trim away the fat and make something a bit more focused).

              Your slideshow thingy has me a bit puzzled as well. I bet that's a kickass tool - whatever the heck it is - but those shots are not "sexy" (my accountant might get turned on a bit though - lol).

              I like "Business Success Requires A Plan" - perhaps you could turn this into a main headline (or sub headline).
              What about creating an actual video - something short, sweet, and with some punch to it! Tell people basically why they should be lining up to buy this playbook. What problems does it solve - what frustrations does it help them overcome? How does it make their business more successful etc etc. You have a little list of bullet points there - but even with the text below to support it, it all seems really vague to me. Not really sure what EXACTLY it is that I'm supposed to be buying.

              I'm sure if I looked hard enough the info would be there somewhere - but I guess what I'm getting at is the importance of VERY quickly capturing the prospect's attention and helping them understand what you're selling and why they need it.

              Hope this helps

              B
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              • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
                Originally Posted by Bentley74 View Post

                I definitely agree with Jeremy.
                I tend to be easily distracted (lol), and again - while I think this page (your actual product page) looks great - my eyes are flitting about trying to find something that will QUICKLY let me know what this is all about. The header and navigation are throwing me off - and I don't think the rest of your page is focused enough as it is (looks like you have some great elements - you just need to trim away the fat and make something a bit more focused).

                Your slideshow thingy has me a bit puzzled as well. I bet that's a kickass tool - whatever the heck it is - but those shots are not "sexy" (my accountant might get turned on a bit though - lol).

                I like "Business Success Requires A Plan" - perhaps you could turn this into a main headline (or sub headline).
                What about creating an actual video - something short, sweet, and with some punch to it! Tell people basically why they should be lining up to buy this playbook. What problems does it solve - what frustrations does it help them overcome? How does it make their business more successful etc etc. You have a little list of bullet points there - but even with the text below to support it, it all seems really vague to me. Not really sure what EXACTLY it is that I'm supposed to be buying.

                I'm sure if I looked hard enough the info would be there somewhere - but I guess what I'm getting at is the importance of VERY quickly capturing the prospect's attention and helping them understand what you're selling and why they need it.

                Hope this helps

                B
                Thanks for the feedback Bentley!
                It is def unfocused, i'll have to clear some of the clutter and make it more focused. I thought the slideshow would be cool but may try some screenshots instead )thanks Robby). Also it's clear from the feedback I have to be very clear what i am offering, it seems everyone was a bit confused.
                Lots of work to do, thanks for the help, greatly appreciated! Cheers, Gary
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    • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
      Thanks for the great feedback Phil. The original url i had was the homepage. The actual product url is thesmallplaybook.com/products/
      Sorry about that.
      I plan on creating a landing page for an opt in email list, just not sure what I will be giving away as an offer as of yet. If you look at the product page, if I turned off the menu bar, would that be enough to remove distractions?
      My market is mostly female retail store small business owners. When I asked a few of them about sales, they let me know they hate any kind of cheesy sales pitch or any over the top sales promises, that's the reason i wanted to shy away from the traditional sales page. Thanks again for your help, greatly appreciated. Gary
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  • Profile picture of the author the lord
    nice, I think no comment. may add additional advantage of me is what if a visitor buys from your landing page and give a bonus if a buyer buy from you.
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  • Profile picture of the author winseosoft
    A good landing page should have the headline and copy correspond to the ad that triggered the page.The focus is on getting visitors to take one specific action.
    There has yo be no distracting navigational links.
    Your landing page should be shorter and more straightforward than the copy on your normal website but it doesn’t necessary need to be short. It should be as long as it needs to be. High ticket items would sometimes necessitate longer copy.
    Your target visitors may demand more information before they are convinced to take the specific action especially if there’s no ‘pre-selling’ takes place earlier before they reach your landing page so tell them all they need to know.
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    • Profile picture of the author GaryShouldis
      Originally Posted by winseosoft View Post

      A good landing page should have the headline and copy correspond to the ad that triggered the page.The focus is on getting visitors to take one specific action.
      There has yo be no distracting navigational links.
      Your landing page should be shorter and more straightforward than the copy on your normal website but it doesn't necessary need to be short. It should be as long as it needs to be. High ticket items would sometimes necessitate longer copy.
      Your target visitors may demand more information before they are convinced to take the specific action especially if there's no 'pre-selling' takes place earlier before they reach your landing page so tell them all they need to know.
      That's great advice, thanks. I'm going to start working on it now. Cheers, gary
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