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Everyone Else Is Doing It...So Critique MY Landing Page, Warriors!

by pavondunbar
14 replies
A little feedback would be appreciated on my landing page...

I created this site myself...

Here it is----> Critique My Site

Thanks...

Pavon
#critique #itso #landing #page #warriors
  • Profile picture of the author CurtisN
    Hi Pavon,

    The background is extremely distracting and the various colours hurt my eyes. Just sayin'

    Also, you might want to write some simple copy and include bullet points of what readers should expect to find in your report. What you have now is really hypey and vague.

    Sometimes, simple is more effective.

    Good luck!
    Curtis
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    Curtis Ng (blog) - Product Launch Manager
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  • Profile picture of the author Greenfish Studios
    Hi Pavon,

    I agree the background is way to distracting. (just personal opinion though)
    The guy with empty pockets is really weird looking. And also agree write up a nice list of what people would find in the book.

    thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanman
    I would say change the background and add more content on the site.
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    ^^^Click The "UGLY BANNER" to "MAKE MONEY"^^^
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  • Profile picture of the author John Rowe
    Pavon, what you've done is a good start.

    If you want to improve it, then you can always start researching around to find pages that look good, credible, professional, believable, pretty or whatever it is you're hoping to achieve with your visitor. Then just design your optin pages using the pages you've found as models for your own.

    For example look at this optin page. If you like certain things about it even more than what you've done on your own, then use it as a model.

    To find several pages to model, go to Google and type in some common phrases you might typically find on optin pages. Like this... Google: "first name" "primary email address" newsletter subscribe, etc.

    Hope that helps somewhat.
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  • Profile picture of the author CPAmethods
    Haha very nice.. personally i love the dollars in the background and the setup you did... was very right to the point and not alot of fine print.

    Nice!
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  • Profile picture of the author Morten_Madsen
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    • Profile picture of the author carmene
      Is the income dislaimer really necessary on your lead capture page? If not, you may consider removing it or relocating it from right next to the opt in box.
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  • Profile picture of the author kkrueger
    It is a good start...but if you notice the successful squeeze pages don't have such annoying backgrounds. Why not used the title of your book as the background image?

    Make your images smaller and the title that you have at the bottom of the squeeze page would actually make a better headline...you have 3 seconds to make an impression...and you want the headline to grab them and then lead them to the buy button.

    "Are you looking for a job or life changing opportunity...you have come to the right place..."

    you can put your warning in smaller type across the top Warning: blablabla
    Above your headline.

    But by making the images smaller...people won't have to go so far to find what you are offering...and then make a set of bullets with the benefits of your book.

    I know it's free...but still, make it look like they are getting a wealth of information for giving you their information..

    Hope this helps...Good luck!

    Karen
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  • Profile picture of the author pavondunbar
    Thanks for the insights and the constructive criticisms...

    M. Madsen, I put a right click disable script on my site...

    The background is going to go...LOL...It's more annoying, I see...than beneficial...

    Pavon
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    Cost Effective Mobile Marketing For You & Your Business
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  • Profile picture of the author Morten_Madsen
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    • Profile picture of the author pavondunbar
      Originally Posted by Morten_Madsen View Post

      Well, the background wouldnt be annoying if you could get it very very dark... You can do that with photoshop.

      I know you have a right-click-disable system, but it's unfurtunaly useless *GG*

      Best Regards,
      Morten
      Haha...good one, sir, as I have noticed...

      I was thinking...

      *dam how in the hell did he get my source code if I have a right click disabler on there...*

      Pavon
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  • Profile picture of the author Floyd Fisher
    Don't take this the wrong way, but that pages looks too much like many of the scams I've seen on the internet....in fact it looks too much like them.

    PM me, and I'll give you a template to start with, and some real tips on how to put it together right.

    -Floyd
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  • Profile picture of the author mikemcmillan
    Yes, the Franklin's are distracting. I'm not sure what you do with your opt-ins, but unless the phone number is vital to what you are doing I might drop it. A lot of people will give up their first name and email, but when you ask for a phone number a lot of people won't opt for that--but maybe you need it for what you are doing. Good luck bud!
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  • Profile picture of the author knmrwarrior
    Apologies for being off-topic, but I would not have used the link text "Critique my site" for the link above. You're not doing your site any favors.

    I think it's fair use and not link-spamming to have said: Critique my site <link>Get Money on the Net</link>.

    Just basic good SEO practice.

    Der
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  • Profile picture of the author glofish
    Need more content and more professional looking photos. That big image at the top isn't doing much, so why take up the valuable space. Use this real esate to draw them in.

    Lose the dollar bills background, or increase the opacity and put it on top of a solid background.
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