Legal Advice, FTC, Non-US?

Can the FTC really nail my European behind?

Hey guys,

So I'm about only a short time from launching something new, but I'm trying to get different things like the legal disclaimer, earnings disclaimer, privacy policy, etc. right.

However, I am a little confused on what "rules" to follow when I am, at the moment, not in the US. I'm not even a US citizen.

So I'm about to launch a product that, I'm guessing, will sell mostly to US citizens.

Say I'm an idiot and boldly claim my product will make you a millionaire overnight, included will be a VIP ticket to Las Vegas casinos and a couple of "free rides" down Hollywood Blvd, some unlicensed music from Eminem and some photos from People Magazine taken straight from their website. Oh, and I also fake some testimonials and use some poor unsuspecting Warrior's personal picture to go along with it. As a perfect finish, I also make sure to include part of the final fight scene from Rocky 4 on every video tutorial I make; Rocky Vs. Ivan Drago, to show every Internet Marketer out there that the "little guy" can in fact win. Inspiration, people! Heck, some of my copy is directly plagiarized from, say, Filsaime and Dan Kennedy, just to name a couple.

(Obviously, this isn't so, in case you didn't get that.)

So I just made myself accountable for breaking about 117 different laws there, right?

I'm aware individual people or companies can sue me, but what about FTC since it's part of the US government?

Question is, who or what and where do I go to for legal stuff when you are from one country and sell mostly to another, even if it's just online?

Someone directed me to a so-called Biz Shield Package (not sure I'm allowed to put in the website here?) Anyway, this is what was included:

The complete BizShield System with the training video and Compliance Checklist (digital download)
The Total Protection Pack with the 20 Legal Agreements in PDF and Word format (digital download)
The Liability Spotter (digital download)
The Affiliate Marketer’s Guide To Playing By The FTC’s Rules And Winning (digital download)
How to Negotiate Discounts On Everything (digital download)


The interesting part here for me was the total protection pack the 20 legal agreements (employment agreement, interview release agreement, terms of use, etc.)

I know people make some small changes in those based on what state they live in, but since I'm in Europe, will these be valid? Will they protect me, my company, and the people who make arrangements with me? Or do I need legal documents from my own country?

I contacted two attorneys in my own country about this, but as soon as I mentioned "internet marketing", they were unsure. Not sure how experienced they were, though.

If someone got any advice, that'd be great.

Thanks
Henri