PLEASE!!! Everybody stop doing THIS!

40 replies
Hi Warriors,

We have all seen it.

Just because you call yourself a "marketer"...okay, wait...perhaps it would be better if I explained what happened.

I really hate to do this, but today somebody irritated me a little bit, and now I want to come here and tell ALL OF YOU how to run YOUR business.

Believe me, it was not pleasant. On an irritation scale of 1 to 10, it was almost a 1, so I could almost feel a tinge of irritation.

PLEASE! Stop using marketing on me that I don't like. I'm on to you, and I also know that you would do 10,000% better (if not WAY more) if you would only do everything you can to never irritate me in any way ever again. PLEASE!

Trust me.

You will sell much, much, much more.

Don't you have any idea how many subscribers you're losing, sales you're not making, opt-ins you're not getting, JVs you're missing out on, or how much better you would be doing if you would only contact me personally before you ever do anything?

I'm more than happy to help you craft a message that will never bother me again. Imagine! You could be on easy street! Yep! I know how much ALL of you are making. I know ALL of your marketing techniques. I know what ALL of your conversion rates are. I know how much BETTER all of that would be if you would just check with me first.

Now, I was mildly irritated before, and instead of just letting it go, I figured I would put my ego on display and tell ALL OF YOU how to run YOUR business. After all, if I had just let it go, I could have went on with my day and been more productive, but it seemed best to come here and help (read: "tell") all of you to run your business the RIGHT way.

Oh...and please agree with me completely as I'm right and anybody who doesn't agree is just losing sales and wasting THEIR time.

Happy to help.

All the best,
Michael
#stop
  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    Yes, Michael I absolutely agree with you. The only problem is I'm more right than you are and you should get your facts straight, so the guys irritating you will know they can trust your advice on how to run their own Marketing business.

    Not only that I'm so much older than you and all these other irritable Marketing dudes, so that give me the right to tell you and the other irritating folks to do it my way.

    And oh before I forget you shouldn't be so touchy feeling about being irritated.

    Ken

    The Old Geezer
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
      Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

      Yes, Michael I absolutely agree with you. The only problem is I'm more right than you are and you should get your facts straight, so the guys irritating you will know they can trust your advice on how to run their own Marketing business.

      Not only that I'm so much older than you and all these other irritable Marketing dudes, so that give me the right to tell you and the other irritating folks to do it my way.

      And oh before I forget you shouldn't be so touchy feeling about being irritated.

      Ken

      The Old Geezer
      Thanks for your post, Ken.

      While I appreciate your attempt to help, it won't work in the real world.

      Isn't it obvious?

      I don't care if somebody ELSE is iritated. So, while you may have a lot more knowledge in your geezerness, I'm only concerned that marketers never irritate ME.

      This thread was started to help people make more money. The fact that they can do that by not irritating me is only a coincidence.

      All the best,
      Michael
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      "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    Nice....
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    Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
    Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • Profile picture of the author Joshua Rigley
    Banned
    Sounds like you're really annoyed about people being slightly annoyed by marketing Michael.
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by Joshua Rigley View Post

      Sounds like you're really annoyed about people being slightly annoyed by marketing Micheal.

      He might even get irritated because you misspelled his name. :p
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      • Profile picture of the author Joshua Rigley
        Banned
        Originally Posted by tpw View Post

        He might even get irritated because you misspelled his name. :p
        Ooo...he needs coffee. Or whatever you old people drink in the morning. XD I actually caught that and fixed it before you posted, so ner.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    You're right . . . except when we disagree, then I'm right.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
    But my way is truly the best. So ignore anything Michael has to say to the contrary. He's obviously jealous and cannot be trusted on a topic as serious as this one.
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    I really dig Michael's music...

    There. Now I've ruined Michael's irritation thread by making him smile.

    Trololololol.....
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
      Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod View Post

      I really dig Michael's music...

      There. Now I've ruined Michael's irritation thread by making him smile.

      Trololololol.....
      ...but then I was irritated that I had to clean the Diet Coke off my keyboard!

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      "Ich bin en fuego!"
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  • Profile picture of the author dm101
    As was observed in Twin Peaks: "The owls are not what they seem!"
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by dm101 View Post

      As was observed in Twin Peaks: "The owls are not what they seem!"
      This should kick your irritation up at least 2 or 3 more notches. Now the darn owls are getting in on the irritable marketing thing that irritates you.

      But as long as they don't fly over and poop on your parade it may only go up 1 instead of 2 or 3 notches.


      The Cranky Old Geezer
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  • Profile picture of the author Sid Hale
    Michael,

    That email (in fact all those emails) are NOT from marketers. They are from salesmen.

    Marketers don't send emails!

    Instead, they employ salesmen to send those annoying emails on their behalf. Marketers spend their time 1) feeling the pulse of the marketplace, to determine what should be the "next shiny object", 2) determining what the selling price should be, 3) what commission rates they should pay, and 4) what sort of affiliate tools that sales force might need.

    After that, it's back to deciding on the "next shiny object" again...
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    • Originally Posted by Sid Hale View Post

      Michael,

      That email (in fact all those emails) are NOT from marketers. They are from salesmen.

      Marketers don't send emails!

      Instead, they employ salesmen to send those annoying emails on their behalf. Marketers spend their time 1) feeling the pulse of the marketplace, to determine what should be the "next shiny object", 2) determining what the selling price should be, 3) what commission rates they should pay, and 4) what sort of affiliate tools that sales force might need.

      After that, it's back to deciding on the "next shiny object" again...
      Well DANG, I was gonna pass this one on by but Sid done went and made a mistake! It is NOT salesMEN... it is salesmen AND salesWOMEN folk! I shore am sorry to be correctin you Sid but I happen to know for a fact that women folk like to irritate people too... even moreso than men folk!

      I figured I would put my ego on display
      NO YOU SHORE AIN'T!!! This here is a family forum and you just keep that dadgum thang put up!

      And oh before I forget you shouldn't be so touchy feeling
      I ain't and if I WAS to get to be touch feeling, I shore wouldn't be touchin on YOU, Mr. Leatherman!

      My teeth started hurting just looking at the Dew.
      Well Matt, what in tarnation are you looking at doo for? I can shore understand stepping in it ever now and again but you must have some sorta doo feelish or somethin. And for Gawds sake son, don't be puttin it in your mouth and hurtin your teeth!

      I gots to go add the Cottonmouth venom to my new batch of, ummm, Stumpwoody Stewins. Ya'll take care now, hear?
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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    Was it my PM to you on my e-book on "How To PickUp and Seduce 37 Hot Models In Under 15 Seconds?" If so, I'll up the commission a few percentage points and add a couple more OTOs.

    RoD
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  • Profile picture of the author Newboyontheblock
    Michael, that was awesome.
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  • Profile picture of the author J Cohen
    Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

    Hi Warriors,

    PLEASE! Stop using marketing on me that I don't like. I'm on to you, and I also know that you would do 10,000% better (if not WAY more) if you would only do everything you can to never irritate me in any way ever again. PLEASE!

    Happy to help.

    All the best,
    Michael
    Ok you win, just pay your $147 pm subscription and we will stop sending you marketing messages.

    Jay
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  • Profile picture of the author jacktackett
    Michael, Michael, Michael - we discussed this at the meeting last week. We realized those out there who think they know everything are pissing off those of us who do know everything - but they can't help being stupid - they were born that way and we need to feel sorry for them - no matter how annoying the buggers are to us......
    Take a deep breath, 2 shots of Tequila, and skype me in the morning.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lori Kelly
    S oooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You could have just sent me a pm.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
      Originally Posted by Lori Kelly View Post

      S oooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You could have just sent me a pm.
      But Lori...

      Didn't you read my post?

      You're supposed to send ME a PM before you send out your messages. That way I can approve them and make all necessary changes.*

      All the best,
      Michael

      .
      .
      *By "necessary" I mean "subjective and arbitrary". Also, as it will be devoid of anything that could potentially irritate or upset someone, it will most likely end up deoid of any personality as well. But that's okay, because you won't have to face the wrath of those who like to whine, moan and otherwise complain
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      "Ich bin en fuego!"
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      • Profile picture of the author tpw
        Originally Posted by Michael Oksa View Post

        deoid of any personality as well.

        And devoid of any V's...

        Don't mind me... I am just whining about your spelling... :p
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        Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
        Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas Wilkinson
    When it comes to cranky you people are amateurs. I have years of experience being cranky and I'm darned good at it. I've unsubscribed from a dozen lists lately. Maybe two dozen, I dunno. If I'm still on your list its because I not only like your marketing but I also like you. If you'd show up at my door I'd invite you in which puts you ahead of a couple of my neighbors.

    Thomas

    (p.s. For all those in this area who may have recently seen me on TV, Yes, I shot at the neighbors damn dog. It was a PAINTBALL gun for pity sake. All that orange stuff will wash off or wear off his ass in no time flat. On the up side he now takes a dump in his own yard instead of mine.)
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    When you hear someone telling you what YOU can't do, they are usually talking about what THEY can't do.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
      (p.s. For all those in this area who may have recently seen me on TV, Yes, I shot at the neighbors damn dog. It was a PAINTBALL gun for pity sake. All that orange stuff will wash off or wear off his ass in no time flat. On the up side he now takes a dump in his own yard instead of mine.)
      OMG, I love it!
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by Thomas Wilkinson View Post

      (p.s. For all those in this area who may have recently seen me on TV, Yes, I shot at the neighbors damn dog. It was a PAINTBALL gun for pity sake. All that orange stuff will wash off or wear off his ass in no time flat. On the up side he now takes a dump in his own yard instead of mine.)

      I love your style.

      Too bad I cannot do that with the neighbor kids. :p
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      Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
      Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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      • Profile picture of the author Ben Armstrong
        I break down in tears at least 5 times a day when I'm told the methods I'm using are dead and outdated.
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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
        Originally Posted by tpw View Post

        Too bad I cannot do that with the neighbor kids. :p
        Bill, I would think a tall fence would be enough to keep the neighbor kids from taking a dump in your yard.

        Just tryin' to help,
        Michael
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        "Ich bin en fuego!"
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      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Originally Posted by tpw View Post

        I love your style.

        Too bad I cannot do that with the neighbor kids. :p
        The neighbor kids are taking a dump in your yard?

        Oh, yeah, it's Oklahoma...

        As for you, Mike...

        Subtle. Very subtle.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          Too bad I cannot do that with the neighbor kids.
          Why not - kids like paintball more than dogs to. Shoot'em first and if anyone complains tell them you were just inviting them over to "play". That should keep them away.
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          • Profile picture of the author Eric Louviere
            Don't up sell me
            Don't call me or text me
            Don't squeeze me into opting in
            Don't send me direct mail
            Don't charge me monthly
            Don't email me offers
            Dont sell me
            Don't Down sell me
            Don't pitch me from stage
            Don't sell me on webinars
            Don't charge me expensive prices

            Don't do anything like that because I hate all of that stuff with a passion. Nothing irritates me more than all of that marketing stuff. Now, anyone know how I can make money online from home? I've been an Internet marketer for years now?

            Hahahahahahahaha. One of the funniest things of all are all the wannabe marketers b!tching about being marketed to. Now, can get a refund? I did not really learn anything new
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  • Profile picture of the author jeffreys
    How did he irritate you???????
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  • Profile picture of the author John Romaine
    I dont get this thread.

    Then again, I just woke up
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    • Profile picture of the author Gregory22
      Originally Posted by ramone_johnny View Post

      I dont get this thread.

      Then again, I just woke up

      same here!
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