Searching for purpose = procrastination

13 years ago

We all get that from time to time. Find a life coach, best to meet one in person than online. It gets better, hang in the there.

Thanks

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lifesofree

13 years ago

Thank you, Sue. It helps to know that others are feeling the same way once in a while.

Since a life coach costs decent money (of course a good one is absolutely worth it), what would you do until you have the money?

Would you rather do something than nothing or would you think about it until the answers pop up in your mind?

Thanks, again.

Thanks
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barbling

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Thank you, Sue. It helps to know that others are feeling the same way once in a while.

Since a life coach costs decent money (of course a good one is absolutely worth it), what would you do until you have the money?

Would you rather do something than nothing or would you think about it until the answers pop up in your mind?

Thanks, again.

Been there done that ate the T-shirt.

Tell me.

If you were on a ship in the ocean that sunk and were paddling about in the water with only a life preserver and *then* saw the sharks gathering...

Would you spend time wondering about your life's purpose, or would you do everything in your power to save yourself?

Methinks it would be the second, aye?

Well, apply that idea to your current situation.

Nobody gives a damn about your success as much as you do (or don't). So if you choose *not* to care, nobody else will swoop in to rescue you (tough lesson to learn, I know. Took me years).

Thus, it comes down to, do you choose to live or die?

Put in *that* perspective, perhaps just freakin' doing it might make sense.

Hope that helps!

[ 1 ] Thanks

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goodewealth

13 years ago

lifesofree.....I care cause I was there. I have a few steps that I came up with because if you don't have a plan and then a plan of action you will continue to go in circles....

1. Make a Decision! I know it sounds stupid but it clearly the ideal one. See people make decisions all day and everyday but do they stick to it?
2. Once you make that decision-ask yourself....what do you plan to do about the decision you just made? ....no plan....no action.
3. Pen to paper. I always like to write things down to give me a clear picture of all the things I wanted to do....and this by the way was the first bulletpoint system back in the day.
4. When you have the steps laid out before you, they become a part of you "Plan of action" Thus to the next point.....
5. Take Action

Always remember to give yourself realistic goals. Your dreams can be high and nothing wrong with that....but always start small and snowball until you get the hang of it.

I speak from experience. In the year of 2010 I purchased over 109 products and services and non of them panned out because I did not work them.....of course they are old and outdated.....my contribution to the internet

but 2011 I have purchased just under 20 (not because lack of funds) but because of a plan. I have implemented 3 straight away....two are producing and I am in the process of still viewing and absorbing material from a wonderful WF seller here that has given me a cookie cutter that is proving to be my " ah movement" material. So whatever you do......stop, take notice of what you really want (believe it or not this is the simplest thing to do).....but so many of us don't stop we just keep moving forward without any thought of what we are really doing. Spending money on the next best whatever. You ever thought just because someone else making a ton of money with CPA (ex.) you may not like CPA? Just food for thought!

Keep your Head Up

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lifesofree 13 years ago

Thank you, goodewealth!

I feel a little better already. It was just barbling said, I felt like eating my T-Shirt ...

Now I'm sitting at the desktop writing some articles for my website, which is far away from the topics I like, but: it brings some money in and as long as there is no clear alternative waiting for me to be implemented, I better work my ass off with that one website that already works ...

In terms of the 5 steps you gave me:

1. Decision: keep working on the things that work (altough I'm not that much fascinated about the topic)
2. What do I plan to do about: I'm going to write X posts in the next 12 months (whereas X is a clear number I have in my mind, but you might think I'm crazy ... )
3. Pen to paper: I've made an excel sheet with my plans regarding traffic and articles
4./5. As stated above: I'm doing the writing that needs to get done

Thank you for your kind words, goodewealth.

You and barbling have helped me out, for real!
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- Bentley74 13 years ago
  
  barbling wrote "Been there done that ate the T-shirt."
  
  LOL - too funny! My sentiments EXACTLY!!
  
  Ok - maybe not for months on end- but it's certainly been something that's really slowed down my progress at times.
  
  In my humble opinion, the key is not to put so much pressure on yourself - everyone can't expect to KNOW their true purpose by snapping their fingers or thinking really hard about it! It works differently for everyone. Some people know EXACTLY what to do with their life from a very young age, while others don't figure it out until they are much older.
  
  For example, I remember reading somewhere that Colonel Sanders didn't get started with his business until he was in his 60's or 70's ("What's the matter Colonel Sanders??!...CHICKEN????" <---- sorry, my inner goofball couldn't resist adding that classic from the movie "Spaceballs". lol)
  
  Ok, so maybe a greasy chicken franchise isn't exactly the inspiration you were looking for, but the point I'm trying to make is that you can't just expect your purpose to hit you like a lightning bolt when YOU want it to.
  
  Step 1 - just relax - take a nice deep breath! :-)
  Step 2 - start to think about what interests/motivates/excites you
  Step 3 - start focusing on one or a few of these areas and get moving on something
  
  Great quote from Goethe for ya:
  
  "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
  
  Once you are MOVING - as long as you pay enough attention and not putting too much pressure on yourself - you will start feeling nudges towards a path that might be considered your "purpose".
  
  Anyway - just some thoughts to consider!
  Thanks for the interesting topic!
  
  [ 2 ] Thanks
  
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John Romaine

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

I think I'm going crazy ...

Internet Marketing...

Now you're getting the hang of it.

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stevenalowe

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Have you ever done nothing but thinking about what might be the right thing to do, your purpose? Has it ever lead you to procrastinate week after week and month after month because you've been so indecisive?

And if so, what did you do, when nothing came up to your mind, that really felt like it's at least close to your purpose?

My mind gets messed up by this all the time, I think I'm going crazy ...

Yes. Reading and taking online classes et al is much 'safer' than actually doing something. You can't fail if you don't try.

Failure is an event, not a person, and it always teaches you something.

If you have a 'purpose', plan backwards from the goal to find the next step to do.

If you don't have a purpose, make a list of interests and create short-duration, low-cost experiments to help determine if they're worthwhile, feasible, fun, profitable, etc.

For example, a $10/day two-day adwords campaign to an opt-in page can gauge the enthusiasm for a proposed product without having to write the product first.

Don't be afraid to test. And keep testing. Unless you have a burning desire for a clear, single thing, experimentation is the way to find a path.

"a" path, not necessarily "the" path. There are many ways to the top of the mountain.

good luck!

Thanks
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jbsmith 13 years ago

Lifesofree - you mention writing articles to make some money, but you are not thrilled with the topic.

That has to change!

Sure, we have to pay out bills, so you don't stop cold turkey, but you need to allocate some time each day for finding out what you are passionate about.

Finding your purpose can be scary and a pretty obscure concept for most - so instead, think about what really rocks your world...what excites you, what do you find yourself drawn too, what skills do others notice about you?

These are all clues to what you will be most effective at.

The interesting thing about being successful is not so much choosing one avenue or another, but it is choosing the RIGHT avenue for YOU where you can put in 110% effort without it really feeling like 110%

That's the challenge of staying on a path that doesn't really excite you - these types of activities will eventually (if not already) make you feel like you are putting in 110% when you are only really putting in 50% - that's not a winning formula.

In order to set yourself up for success, you need to find out what you are passionate about and then head down that path.

Jeff
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- writeright 13 years ago
  
  Click on my signature and you will see after my sales page the very next comment box will have this
  
  "Re: Haven't gotten one order yet I have changed my terms. Pls take a look. Thanks."
  
  I was there jus' the way you are.
  
  Look at the date: 01/21/2010
  
  That's almost two years ago.
  
  Now, go back up and read all the Warrior Reviews and walk through the thread. You will notice what I had done.
  
  There were single articles, then there were two and then there was 10.
  
  Today there is a 1000.
  
  Do you see any negative review? No? How did this happen?
  
  Well, the answer is simple.
  
  I came to terms with the fact that I ate the t-shirt and was naked like a baby. Nothing to cover, nowhere to go.
  
  People who are in this situation usually end up in Warrior Forum.
  
  And they make one of two choices:
  
  1. They go to Warrior For Hire like I did. And they persevere, slug it out in midst of good people who help you create a career for yourself.
  
  2. The other kind go straight to Warrior Special Offers and they end up eating their hands and legs too.
  
  Do not buy an ebook till you have earned money to buy one.
  
  Work hard and if you need any help getting started get in touch with me.
  
  All the best.
  
  Cheers
  
  Aravind
  
  Thanks
  
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Guru_Marketing

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Have you ever done nothing but thinking about what might be the right thing to do, your purpose? Has it ever lead you to procrastinate week after week and month after month because you've been so indecisive?

And if so, what did you do, when nothing came up to your mind, that really felt like it's at least close to your purpose?

My mind gets messed up by this all the time, I think I'm going crazy ...

Here's what you can do. Take out a sheet of paper and start writing EVERYTHING that's in your mind. Write like crazy, I mean take a big notebook and write the things that you have to do, things that you are thinking to do, things that are bothering you, and all the things that excites you.

Write down for at least 30 minutes, until you exhaust yourself. When you do this, you'll dumb so much clutter that's in your mind, you won't believe it.

Get clarity first!

Thanks

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sbucciarel

Banned 13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Have you ever done nothing but thinking about what might be the right thing to do, your purpose? Has it ever lead you to procrastinate week after week and month after month because you've been so indecisive?

And if so, what did you do, when nothing came up to your mind, that really felt like it's at least close to your purpose?

My mind gets messed up by this all the time, I think I'm going crazy ...

Break the spell and just get started on one of those ideas, whether it's your life purpose or not. You'll never know if it's right until you try it out.

Do it now. Think about it later.

Thanks

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scraig

13 years ago

I think you need to follow your passion whatever that may be. Perhaps it's not Internet Marketing. Maybe it's something outside the Internet that of value you can offer.

A wise friend asked me if I were to meet you for lunch tomorrow but I'll have to pick you up at the library. What section of the library should I look for you? Just some food for thought.

Thanks
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lifesofree

13 years ago

THANK YOU all for your kind and motivating replies. They have really helped me to get my ass up today - despite the fact that the day started out with a lot of swirling BS in my head.

@GuruMarketing: I've done that before and I'll do it again. Writing anything on paper that fraughts your brain is really helpful indeed. Instead of doing so I did something else that cleared up the thoughts: an excel sheet where I can see (on estimation of course) what will result when I go on with the things I already do.

This

- can motivate you a lot
- helps to tidy up all the thinking

@Aravind: Thank you very much. Glad to tell you that I got some things done today: I've written more than 10 articles for my website, and it feels great!

@stevenalowe: I never thought about testing it that way. It's a great way to get some information on whether something might work out or not!

@jeff: Most of the time I've been to university I kind of hated it. Yet, I didn't quit, and now with the bachelor degree in my pocket I'm very glad that I stayed. Same thing now: I don't like the topic I'm writing about at all, but I've come to far to quit now.

@Bentley74: Thanks

. Your words relaxed me. That's been a problem for me for years .. always thinking that I should figure out my one and only purpose TODAY. To be honest: after all, I'm closer to the life I love than ever before, although there are things to do I do not like contentwise.

_____
Bottom line: I've decided to go one with the website I'm already working on for a while. There seems to be the biggest leverage. Seeing the numbers in my dirty little excel sheet will help me to stay persistent.

Beyond, I'm going to integrate more of the things I love in my everyday life. Plus, I came up with the idea to do an NLP practitioner training once I have earned the money out of the website (where I don't care about the topic). This is something I thought about for years! And it motivates me to get the money for it out of the other thing.

Thanks
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stevenalowe

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

THANK YOU all for your kind and motivating replies. They have really helped me to get my ass up today - despite the fact that the day started out with a lot of swirling BS in my head.
...
@stevenalowe: I never thought about testing it that way. It's a great way to get some information on whether something might work out or not!
...

You're welcome, and good luck!

Note: advice adapted from "The Four-Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferriss

Thanks

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jgant

13 years ago

Hoping to find life purpose is too daunting. Instead, take a lighter approach to IM. After all if you needed a job, you'd probably look for an acceptable job you could acquire ASAP and then take time looking for a vocation.

Turn IM into more of a game. The objective is $1,000 a month in 6 months. The means doesn't and shouldn't be your life purpose. Instead, choose a method and niche acceptable and go for it.

Tell yourself if once you earn $1,000 per month you discover your purpose, then pursue it at that point. Along the way you'll learn far more than reading about this stuff and you'll generate a decent income.

Thanks

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jamesrich1

13 years ago

Read self improvement books like Think and Grow Rich, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Magic Of Thinking Big, etc The reason I say this is because it is beneficial to get mentored by the words of men who have achieved incredible goals. Napoleon Hill was mentored by the famous Andrew Carnegie and Henry Ford. He put all of the wisdom from learning from some of the richest and smartest minds into his books. Wisdom like this is like having Bill Gates talk to you each and everyday. This type of information has been changing my life. It is not overnight success but you will notice the difference in how you think. Your subconscious thoughts are incredibly important to what you feel you are capable of. Another post in the Warrior forum had a great way of finding out what area you like. If you were left at the library for 30 minutes waiting on a friend what are would your friend find you in? That is your passion area.

Thanks

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melvinm

13 years ago

I beleive that the only purpose in life is what you give yourself unless you want to risk that by waiting for the magical intervention of some sort of revelation !

Or you could wait for someone to tell you your purpose but again how can you be sure if thats your purpose ?? somone suggested a life coach, I don't think a life coach can tell you your life purpose ,you got to do the thinking anyways, so why would you waste your time and money with them?

The third option is to keep on searching for your pupose then there is the risk of not finding one at all

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Martin Lee Jr

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Have you ever done nothing but thinking about what might be the right thing to do, your purpose? Has it ever lead you to procrastinate week after week and month after month because you've been so indecisive?

And if so, what did you do, when nothing came up to your mind, that really felt like it's at least close to your purpose?

My mind gets messed up by this all the time, I think I'm going crazy ...

I get like this - and I find what's working for me is to listen to speeches from different motivational speakers on YouTube.

Stay around positive and successful people and you will find your purpose

Hope everything works out for you

- Martin

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lifesofree

13 years ago

Just a little update...

since my last post I've written for and published to my existing website 70 articles.

I'm still thinking about starting another thing beyond this one website for being less dependend on one thing.

Luckily, I feel a lot less pressure now regarding this second website because:

I've figured something out for me that'll take me one step further to my purpose - but which has nothing to do with my internet projects.

Why: because it will take a few years to reach my purpose-like longterm-goal.

Still I don't know what project number 2 could be, I will take a look at the books I own, maybe I'm at least a little bit interested in a topic I haven't thought of yet.

Thanks

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iDesigners

13 years ago

Mind Warriors have a lot to contribute on this regard - please visit those threads!

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Juvv2096

13 years ago

Some good points in here.

I have made up a little saying of my own that when I think I am procrastinating it helps me get cracking and to not give up.

"Procrastination is the killer of dreams."

This is true I think. Ive heard so many people say "yeah I was going to %insert thing here% but yeah I got too busy" > NO they didnt get too busy, they procrastinated then got lazy!

Ship the product, thats my advice. It doesnt matter if its perfect, or you are scared or what ever reason you may have not to ship it. Finish the project and get it out in the world, it will make you feel 100% better.

For example in my signature is a link to a website I made TONIGHT. I decided this morning I was going to create the service, and within 2 hours of working non stop I managed to setup the domain, the hosting, the pages, the paypal account, the subscriptions and get it in my signature and out to the world.

It might be 12:30 at night where I am, but hey, the job got done and I feel great

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Janice Sperry

13 years ago

WOW!

since my last post I've written for and published to my existing website 70 articles.

You certainly took the advice and encouragement from the earlier replies you got. Great job!

I like to do something everyday unrelated to IM. Take some groceries over to a friend in need, go out and pick up some litter, make a $5 donation to a charity, send a card to a friend, help a single mom with her kids for a couple hours.... It clears my mind, grounds me, and makes me feel good that I can do something for others. For those few moments or hours I am focused on one thing. I accomplish something purposeful and feel ready again to tackle my larger goals.

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Daniel Wilson

13 years ago

You just need to ask yourself what do you want with your life. Go out, go into the nature and think there. Sometimes changing environment helps a lot.

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Saito

13 years ago

I would contemplate your mission and future while also setting short-term (90 days or less) goals and plans. It's not either-or.

I probably spend 30-60 minutes per day reading and clarifying my purpose and vision (helpful after a divorce or other significant destablishing event or period of rapid change and anxiety). Then I get to work for the day.

My long-term purpose and vision are like one piece of bread, and my current projects and work are the other, making my life like one big delicious sandwich. (This analogy is lame but I'll run with it) As I get clear on what to do this week/today and also ultimate life goals, the unclear, cloudy, uncertain space in between them is becoming more clear and aligned.

You have to be able to live with uncertainty, which will open up LOTS of creativity and flexibility. Be willing to live with your lack of clarity while continually working on it. Believe me, I have laid in my bed for weeks on end, paralyzed by not knowing my purpose or what to do with my life.

There's also some great books and products out there on finding your life purpose and vision. Keep it up, even if it takes a year or several years! You can find lots of purpose and meaning in everyday activities if you align it all.

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lifesofree 13 years ago

I've read in one of the books of David Deida (probably "The Superior Man") that purpose changes over time, i.e. one gets closer to it over the years.

So, as long as one feels getting closer to what he desires to do with a new thing he starts, that might be okay.

What else?

I came up with the idea for the second internet project I've written about in my last post. And I've already discussed it with my business partner who likes the idea, too.

What's good about the idea?

- It's a topic I can relate too way more than to the other one.
- I can imagine putting some hundreds of hours into it.
- It's based on what we're good at (core competences).
- It's a real need of a lot of people (there is much money made in this niche and there is some place for us to be unique though). Since this might apply to a lot of niches probably the first point is equally important.

So, next steps here are:

- high-level keyword research (DONE)
- checking out competition (at first glance, we should be able to produce something better than the things that exist in that realm)
- specifying target group, USP, possible ways of monetarization
- specifying tonality, design ... the way the website comes along ...
- choosing CMS (I'm not sure whether or not we want to go with Wordpress again)
- structuring site and content
- planning SEO measures
- setting up a business case (we can reuse our existing excel template for that matter)

I'm excited now. But not too much. In the past the heaviest excitement vanished pretty fast. Now it feels more right, there's no need to get overexcited.

Thanks again to everyone who's already helped me so far! I'm glad that I've found the warrior forum.
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Tinkerbell

13 years ago

Life is motion. Act now.

I've been doing a good deal of writing on my site lately about decision and the next topic I'll be posting on is motivation. One thing I'm sure of: waiting makes everything take longer.

I finally reached a point where I asked myself "do you want to be stuck 'waiting' forever?" My answer to that was no.

Yours may be different.

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paulpower

13 years ago

Originally Posted by lifesofree

Have you ever done nothing but thinking about what might be the right thing to do, your purpose? Has it ever lead you to procrastinate week after week and month after month because you've been so indecisive?

And if so, what did you do, when nothing came up to your mind, that really felt like it's at least close to your purpose?

My mind gets messed up by this all the time, I think I'm going crazy ...

I used to be the world's worst when it came to procrastinating, I would dither over the smallest of decisions.

I found the only way of dealing with it personally, was to jump in and just do it, that way I conquered my fear in a short space of time.

I recommend you read Feel The Fear, and Do It Anyway, I read that and found a lot of stuff I could do, if I stopped worrying about it all the time.

Thanks

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Searching for purpose = procrastination

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