What's Wrong With My Opt-In Page?

38 replies
Well I recently (following Russ Ruffino's 'Ultimate Sales Funnel') set up an opt-in page for the product 'Permanent Muscle' on clickbank. I set up a twitter bot, and am getting targeted visitors. I only get about 30 clicks / day from the twitter bot, however I am stuck at 0 subscribers!

This is the site : buildpermanentmuscle.com
If you have any criticism you could possibly give please do
Thanks for reading.

Also, is there a way I can get this site on Google Adwords? I have a $100 credit for adwords, but this is my only site (limited budget). Thanks!
#optin #page #wrong
  • Profile picture of the author GraveDigger00
    I doubt that traffic is that good or targeted actually. The page looks fine, maybe more on there is all I would change. Focus more on SEO and natural traffic not "targeted" manufactured traffic, and I bet you will get 5 opt-ins for every 30 visitors. Your title has Just Another Wordpress site in it. That's tacky and horrible for SEO. Do the keyword research, get some on page SEO, and start link building as well. That will set you up for a much better long term result and funnel.
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    • Profile picture of the author Blinking
      Originally Posted by GraveDigger00 View Post

      I doubt that traffic is that good or targeted actually. The page looks fine, maybe more on there is all I would change. Focus more on SEO and natural traffic not "targeted" manufactured traffic, and I bet you will get 5 opt-ins for every 30 visitors. Your title has Just Another Wordpress site in it. That's tacky and horrible for SEO. Do the keyword research, get some on page SEO, and start link building as well. That will set you up for a much better long term result and funnel.
      Oh thanks for pointing that out. Didn't notice And alright I will work on SEO.
      So I should just be doing normal SEO and try for some organic search engine traffic? Anything else I can do? Thanks for the fast and informative reply Grave Digger!
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      • Profile picture of the author Shaun OReilly
        If you want to get more opt-ins to your squeeze page,
        then here's some changes to test out.

        1. Delete the Banner

        The top banner graphic is huge and overpowers the
        squeeze page.

        It's the first thing that people will notice on your
        current page.

        Instead you want people to focus on your HEADLINE.

        2. Headline

        Your current headline sucks and doesn't stand out on
        the page either because it's just in boring old black
        text.

        Test using a RED or BLUE headline so it leaps out on
        the page and is the very first thing that people see.

        Also, change the wording of the headline so that it
        addresses the primary problem or goal of your target
        market.

        Also, consider changing the claim to something more
        unique and desirable.

        3. Only Ask for the E-mail

        Your current opt-in form asks for their Name and E-mail.

        You'll get LESS people subscribing when you ask for
        MORE details.

        Instead, ask for just their e-mail and you'll get more
        visitors turning into subscribers.

        The above is what I'd test out anyways.

        Dedicated to mutual success,

        Shaun
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  • Profile picture of the author ciel
    Originally Posted by Blinking View Post

    Well I recently (following Russ Ruffino's 'Ultimate Sales Funnel') set up an opt-in page for the product 'Permanent Muscle' on clickbank. I set up a twitter bot, and am getting targeted visitors. I only get about 30 clicks / day from the twitter bot, however I am stuck at 0 subscribers!

    This is the site : buildpermanentmuscle.com
    If you have any criticism you could possibly give please do
    Thanks for reading.

    Also, is there a way I can get this site on Google Adwords? I have a $100 credit for adwords, but this is my only site (limited budget). Thanks!
    Change the header & make your optin form look more prominent!

    Also try other traffic methods as I am not sure how targeted visitors you are getting by using Twitter bot.

    Hope this helped.

    Cheers
    Ciel!
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Faber
    I'd post this on the copywriter sub-forum. There are some top notch and some just competent copywriters there who could give you excellent advice.

    It looks pretty good.

    I'd change "learn" to "discover" before you bullets. The word learn subconsciously makes people think of difficulty, a no-no in copywriting.

    You might want to get a few testimonials on there as well. Social proof always helps, especially if it contains specific results from real people.

    Of course, after the Feds got more involved in 2009, you have to be really careful using them, especially with this kind of stuff, and the testing required may prove not to be worth it in the end.
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  • Profile picture of the author Big Al
    I think it's a really good squeeze page.

    Agree that the header is too big and it pushes everything (including the opt-in form) lower on the page. Personally I think you need to consider the quality of the traffic that's coming your way, I've no experience of Twitter traffic but I know it's not as good as other sources.

    Play with the copy and use Google Website Optimizer to split test results (ie. test this version versus one with different headline, bullets and maybe the header removed completely).
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  • Profile picture of the author robnoble
    Shaun has some good points.

    I would also add:

    You are trying to do 2 jobs with the page. The opt-in page should focus just on getting the opt-in and nothing more. Your last 2 bullet points are clearly preselling a product.

    You don't have a clear offer. Am I getting the "amazing new muscle building system" for free or, as your page leads me to suspect, am I simply opting in to see the sales page?

    You should maybe think about producing a short report that gives some gutsy content about how amazing this system is and presell the product with it. Then you can clearly state "get this free report that reveals how you can pack on muscle the right way, permanently, and in as little as 10 days".

    Simple is best and you should strip out the fake video (yes I know about commitment etc but it doesn't work there) as well as the banner and really concentrate on a solid, mouth watering, irresistable headline that is so good it can work without even including bullet points!
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  • Profile picture of the author todawg_not
    Originally Posted by Blinking View Post

    Well I recently (following Russ Ruffino's 'Ultimate Sales Funnel') set up an opt-in page for the product 'Permanent Muscle' on clickbank. I set up a twitter bot, and am getting targeted visitors. I only get about 30 clicks / day from the twitter bot, however I am stuck at 0 subscribers!

    This is the site : buildpermanentmuscle.com
    If you have any criticism you could possibly give please do
    Thanks for reading.

    Also, is there a way I can get this site on Google Adwords? I have a $100 credit for adwords, but this is my only site (limited budget). Thanks!

    I agree

    make sure everything can be viewed in 1024 x768 without scrolling and
    test in multiple browsers

    Only ask for email

    too many bullet points

    heading must be in a color that stand out i.e red

    delete "60 Day Money Back Guarantee" sounds like your already trying to sell something.

    Make a large arrow point to the optin form, it's obvious the form is there
    but people need to be told what to do or they won't do it


    Nigel
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    • Profile picture of the author Global Warrior
      In addition to the points above, you need to make it sound like its a recommendation as well. Maybe you could put found out how I instead of find out for yourself.

      Regards

      GW
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  • Profile picture of the author xxxJamesxxx
    I set up a twitter bot, and am getting targeted visitors. I only get about 30 clicks / day from the twitter bot, however I am stuck at 0 subscribers!
    All these Twitter bots harvest is other Twitter bots so one factor is the quality of traffic i.e. it sucks!

    To make Twitter work you have to participate in the conversations.

    James Scholes
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  • Profile picture of the author WebcsPeter
    You Twitter must be active.
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  • Profile picture of the author Brendan Vraibel
    Also should test a video version once you start seeing some traffic. It's different for every different scenario but it helped increase my conversions pretty good.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rob Maggs
    I looked at your page, I'd feel inclined to reduce the size of the banner so that the optin shows up above the fold.

    I'd also look at the people you are following on Twitter, don't bother following by keyword, instead focus on following the followers of well known people in your niche.

    if you follow by keyword you will get bots and spammers and these are worthless, whereas if you follow the followers of users in your niche you will get real people. You just need to build relationships with these people and then you should find your list grows.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Wilson
    You'll need to get some targeted traffic in. PPC, organic traffic or something.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      If it were mine, I would want to at least test:-

      (i) Removing the "Enter Your Name" box (I'd get more opting in, and I won't be using their names anyway because they think it makes me sound like an insurance salesman, if I do that - so this is something I'd probably just "do" and not even split-test, to be honest);

      (ii) Make the banner at the top much smaller (or just lose it altogether) and the headline much bigger, rather than the other way round (again, I'd just "do" this, to be honest, not just split-test it);

      (iii) Rewrite the headline (I promise I don't mean it rudely, but I think "He built muscle and ripped apart an industry" is a stinking headline. Headlines should offer a benefit to the potential customer, not tell them what someone else did in the past.) You'll need to split-test some headlines, perhaps - and you may want to avoid using the same one as the vendor does on his sales page?;

      (iv) Split-test with/without the video. I appreciate that it's not an autoplay video (and that's definitely right!) but even so, just having it there may lose some people who can't/won't play it but also won't opt in without playing it. These things can surprise people, and you have to test it for yourself ... generally marketers love videos and potential customers are less keen on them, but in this niche it may be an advantage to have it there;

      (v) Add a bit of colour to the text? It's all very black at the moment. Maybe put the headline in a strong dark blue or dark green (not red, I think)?

      Please excuse the observation that the ClickBank product you're promoting has, in my opinion, a very poor sales page. It's leaky, it's not all that well-written (in my opinion), it has distractions, even its "before/after" pictures aren't very good. I admit I don't know the niche very well and all this is purely "personal opinion at first impression", but it's really not a product I'd select, myself.

      I also find the comments on the vendor's ClickBank "Spotlight" page pretty off-putting and am unwilling to take them seriously, myself - which isn't a good sign. For me, anyway.

      Originally Posted by Blinking View Post

      is there a way I can get this site on Google Adwords?
      I think squeeze pages are contrary to their Terms Of Service, aren't they?
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  • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
    I'd also add that your page is giving a confusing message. Your opt-in box tells me I can get "instant access" if I give you my email address and name, but in the text you tell me there is a 60 day money back guarantee.

    So. Either you're telling me "porky pies" (quaint English for rhyming untruths!) when you say I'll get instant access by filling in the form, or you're building a mailing list without telling me what I'm signing up for.

    There's no "buy now" button on your site, so no-one can purchase even if they want to.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    You have two problems but they all center around the one thing, your headline. The headline is THE most important part of your optin page. If people can't read it OR it doesn't capture them right away, you've lost that person for good.

    Here's what you need to address:

    1. The banner at the top of the page is way too big and pushes your headline too far down the page making it harder for visitors to see. Either make the banner smaller or remove it completely. I would probably just remove it completely.

    2. The wording of your headline sucks. It says nothing that would make someone want to continue reading. Ask yourself this. What is the ONE thing a person visiting that page is supposed to be looking for? What problem are you solving for them? That is what your headline should address.

    A simple headline template can be something like:

    "FREE Video Reveals the #1 Secret to [Desired Outcome]... Without ANY [Their Current Problems]"

    So something simple like...

    "FREE Video Reveals the #1 Secret to Rock Hard 6 Pack Abs...
    Without ANY Back Breaking Crunches or Sit Ups..."

    I'm sure you get the idea.

    3. Do not capitalize your whole headline. Only Capitalize the first letter in each word as in my example above. This helps people read it much easier.
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    • Profile picture of the author aSecret
      If you want to learn more about using AdWords, check out some of Perry Marshall's stuff. You can definitely make good use of that $100 coupon if you know how, but it will take practice.
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  • Profile picture of the author Blinking
    Thanks so much to everyone for the incredibly helpful information! I am putting this into effect immediately. I just need to get new text! (Although I removed a few bullets). I am also adding a different eBook that you get for free for Opting in. Any suggestions on Text would be greatly appreciated!
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  • Profile picture of the author Blinking
    New Layout Published. Tell me if you think it looks better!

    I removed :

    Fake Video
    Name Box
    Banner
    Few Bullets
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by Blinking View Post

      New Layout Published. Tell me if you think it looks better!

      I removed :

      Fake Video
      Name Box
      Banner
      Few Bullets
      As I mentioned before, you haven't fixed the ONE thing that really matters, your headline. If people are not captured by your headline then it doesn't matter what the rest of your page looks like, they will leave right away - and it sounds like that's exactly what is happening at the moment.

      All those others things are not going to make anywhere near the difference your headline makes. There is no point worrying about those other little things until you fix your headline. At the moment your headline is incredibly weak.

      HE BUILT MUSCLE AND RIPPED APART AN INDUSTRY

      As someone visiting your page my first thought would be... "So?"

      What benefit does this headline offer to your visitor? What problem does it solve for your visitor?

      1. Put quotation marks around your headline. This has been proven to make a difference.

      2. Do NOT capitalize every letter of every word. This makes it seem over-bearing and much harder to read.

      3. I would test a more 'in your face' color such as red.

      4. You need to figure out who your typical visitor is and what the biggest problem they have that needs solving. THAT is what your headline needs to address. Your current headline speaks to no one and offers no benefit or solution. Your headline offers NO reason for anyone to stick around and read anymore of your page.

      THAT is your biggest problem.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by WillR View Post

        As I mentioned before, you haven't fixed the ONE thing that really matters, your headline.
        This ^^^^ exactly.

        And all the rest of Will's post above.

        And especially the part about the Upper Case Letters: those are a nightmare.

        Sorry to sound "blunt" about it, but your headline is (a) very poor indeed, and (b) taken from the vendor's sales page (which is also poor, itself, in a number of ways). All the other things you've changed are slightly better, but just aren't going to make very much difference with that terrible headline still there.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Foster
    I haven't gone through the course, so I can't comment on the traffic, but the squeeze page could use some work...

    For starters the headline doesn't give any benefit as to why the visitor should opt in (or even continue reading)

    And the point of having a two column squeeze page like that... with the arrows in the second column... is to have a picture of a video at the top then the arrows pointing to the opt in page from there.

    Without the video on top, I'd make it a single column, above the fold squeeze page.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Foster
    Originally Posted by Brock Irish View Post

    Optin's the problem, this is 2011 almost 2012....email use is declining hope you can meanuever that into a different form of monetization.
    Really?

    Myself and other marketers I know are having a record year with our email lists.
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by Brock Irish View Post

      Optin's the problem, this is 2011 almost 2012....email use is declining hope you can meanuever that into a different form of monetization.
      Originally Posted by James Foster View Post

      Really?

      Myself and other marketers I know are having a record year with our email lists.
      Yeah, I don't agree with that. I haven't noticed any drops in mine over the last couple of years.
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  • Profile picture of the author shireen
    Hi:

    Shireen here :-)

    Test a different headline (make it more specific)

    ie: "How to build muscle in 5 simple steps" ...
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    • Profile picture of the author James Foster
      Originally Posted by shireen View Post

      Hi:

      Shireen here :-)

      Test a different headline (make it more specific)

      ie: "How to build muscle in 5 simple steps" ...
      Shireen has the right idea... but make it even simpler than that. something like...

      "The #1 Secret ANYONE can use to 5-10 pounds of lean muscle every month"

      (naturally of course you need to be able to give them that secret - but with a little research I'm sure you could find something (diet and workout combo or something) that make that headline true.)
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  • Profile picture of the author John Alves
    The problem is that OptimizePress squeeze pages don't convert. I had a horrible squeeze page conversion rate with OptimizePress. I put the same information on a regular webpage, and the opt in rate increased significantly. You should also have an image of an eBook, a contact email, and a picture of a muscular guy on there. It would also be good to add a short audio clip where you welcome people to the page and tell them what they are going to get after entering their email.
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by John Alves View Post

      The problem is that OptimizePress squeeze pages don't convert. I had a horrible squeeze page conversion rate with OptimizePress. I put the same information on a regular webpage, and the opt in rate increased significantly.
      You can't just make a blanket statement like that. Obviously there was a difference between the Optimize Press squeeze page you had set up and the regular html squeeze page. THAT difference is what accounted for the different option rates, not the fact one was on Optimize Press.

      Also, just because one squeeze page works well for one market does not mean it will necessarily convert well in another. It all needs to be tested on a per market basis. You should always test more than one squeeze page setup.

      I do agree however that Optimize Press is probably not the best solution for squeeze pages. Wordpress is massive overkill for squeeze pages in my opinion.
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      • Profile picture of the author John Alves
        Originally Posted by WillR View Post

        I do agree however that Optimize Press is probably not the best solution for squeeze pages. Wordpress is massive overkill for squeeze pages in my opinion.
        I'm very happy that you agree.
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  • Profile picture of the author MarkJonesCBDoctor
    Make sure your opt-in form is working correctly. I can't tell you how many times I have seen errors in the form code which could def be a reason why you aren't getting subscribers!

    Also, don't forget you aren't going to see major results over night. IM takes time, and list building also takes time. If after X amount of time you don't receive any subscribers, do two things:

    1. Analyze your incoming traffic sources and change them, especially if you are paying
    2. scrap your squeeze page completely and start new. If yo have zero subscribers, it cant hurt to make a new page! (also known as split-testing)

    To Your Success,
    Mark Jones
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  • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
    Your opt-in form doesn't work. No-one can sign up.
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  • Profile picture of the author KwelX
    I tested your opt-in form and got the error "Name" required.
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  • Profile picture of the author ebusinesstutor
    The copywriting isn't that great. And it isn't clear what they are getting. You say that they put their email in to get an "amazing new system." Is an ebook, a video, a podcast or a piece of exercise equipment?

    No testimonials = no credibility.
    No name of person who owns the site so no connection.

    Very vague, I wouldn't put my email address in.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    I see you've gotten a lot of comments on changing the headline. I don't know what was up there before but the headline you have now is a yawner:

    Discover The Secrets To Lean Muscle With Results In As Little As 10 Days

    Then the sub header:

    Start Packing On Permanent Muscle In Just 10 Days With This Free Offer

    I like your sub header a lot more but it's also weak. I'd guess you've done a little research on your market. We know what they want. But sometimes it pays more to know what they don't want or better yet, what they fear.

    Who are they trying to impress? Women? Other muscle guys? Speak to that.

    How about something like: Tired of Being A Wimp? or Tired Of Being A Weakling? or Isn't It Time You Manned Up?

    Now you're speaking to their insecurites. Then hit them with the reward:

    Build Awesome, Lean Muscle Mass In Record Time!

    Don't mention a free offer. Speak to them...

    What if I could show you a revolutionary way to rapidly gain impressive muscle mass with a minimal investment in time and effort? Would that be of interest to you?

    Now you're appealing to their lazy side and their vanity. Of course it would be of interest. The thing about "life changing" is vague and means absolutely nothing without some reference or context.

    Your bullets are also weak.

    Tell them they're going to get a free report (or whatever it is) that will put them on the path to whatever it is your target market is speciffically after.

    I know, they're after lean muscle mass. But you need to make it unique, appealing. Make is sound like something special, not like a million other boring muscle building program pages. Good luck
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      I see you've gotten a lot of comments on changing the headline. I don't know what was up there before but the headline you have now is a yawner:

      Discover The Secrets To Lean Muscle With Results In As Little As 10 Days

      Then the sub header:

      Start Packing On Permanent Muscle In Just 10 Days With This Free Offer

      I like your sub header a lot more but it's also weak. I'd guess you've done a little research on your market. We know what they want. But sometimes it pays more to know what they don't want or better yet, what they fear.

      Who are they trying to impress? Women? Other muscle guys? Speak to that.

      How about something like: Tired of Being A Wimp? or Tired Of Being A Weakling? or Isn't It Time You Manned Up?

      Now you're speaking to their insecurites. Then hit them with the reward:

      Build Awesome, Lean Muscle Mass In Record Time!

      Don't mention a free offer. Speak to them...
      Exactly.

      The headline LOOKS better now but it's still VERY weak.

      You need to make it a lot more powerful - it's still a yawner to me... and put it in quote marks as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Blinking
        Originally Posted by KwelX View Post

        I tested your opt-in form and got the error "Name" required.
        Thanks for bringing this to my attention!

        Originally Posted by WillR View Post

        Exactly.

        The headline LOOKS better now but it's still VERY weak.

        You need to make it a lot more powerful - it's still a yawner to me... and put it in quote marks as well.
        Okay, thanks WillR. I will change it as soon as I get home from Hockey.
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  • You have a nice page I think you Focus more on SEO and natural traffic you will get more people filling out the form.
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