16 replies
Dang, there shore have been lots a posts about thangs dying. Email Marketing is dead. Internet Marketing is dead. You would thank that with so many dead thangs around, this here place would be stinking to high heaven.

Why you would thank we would be needin to have ourselves a funeral or something. Course here in the holler, the only difference tween a wedding and a funeral is that there is one less drunk at the funeral!

Reminds me a when Pastor Newbury of the Stumpwoody Somewhat Baptist By Mostly Pentacostal Church went to give the eulogy for Maudie Ledbedder last summer.

Pastor Newbury was fairly new to the holler. He gots on his ole mule Muley and headed for the funeral. Wellsir, he gots lost goin to the Stumpwoody Dunk and Dink Em Buryial Cemertary and he was runnin a mite late. He finally got in the general area and saw a bunch of fellars gatherd round a hole in the ground and pulled right on up to begin the burial rites.

To make up for bein a mite late, he tried his dangedest to give poor ole Maudie the bestest service ever seen in these here parts. He preached from Genesis to Revolutions. He got so revved up that they was a waitin for the thunder and lightnin to start up. He preached so hard that he broke out in a sweat and everbody was shoutin, "Amen" and "Hallelujiah" and rollin all over the ground. That there just caused Pastor Newbury to double his efforts and he almost caused all them fellars to have a conniption fit!

Finally, the pastor was done and he headed back towards his mule for the ride back to the church. He was drenched in sweat but he felt a mite proud of hisself! As he was climbin back on ole Muley, he heard one a them fellars say, "DANG! I ain't NEVER seen or heard nothin like that there before!" One a the other fellars turned to him an replied, "Gosh no, ME NEITHER and I been puttin in septic tanks for over 20 years!"

I digress but I will go to the bathroom later. Let me finish tellin you bout those thangs what has died!

You wanna know a little secret? Even if all those there thangs was dead, do you know who would still be survivin... those folks what had a BUSINESS instead of some little dibble dabble, take the money and run sort a business!

What makes what folks do a business...

They gots a list!

They gots a brand!

They gots repeat customers!

They work hard at their business!

They build relationships with folks!

They thank outside the dadburn box!

They focus their attention on their dadgum business and stick with it.

They are motivated!

They are always and forever learnin new things and methods to improve their business!

They be knowin that to keep a good, healthy business growin they have to spend money to make money!

They network with other folks what have businesses! They have lots of Skype contacts and they are in several mastermind groups with folks.

They is always helpin other folk because they was helped when they started out!

They do not be tryin to do everthang by themselves. They outsource the stuff they need to and they focus on runnin their business!

They understand that all business dealins MUST be a win/win situation for them and their customers. They know that they will make money if they put out a quality product but they will go out of business if they don't have a quality product!

They understand that customer service is NOT an option... it is a dadgum requirement!

They know that bein successful takes time and they ain't impatient and jumpin from one thang to another!

They gots integrity!


and lastest but not leastest...

they don't be botherin with all those dadgum "the death of..." rumors cause they ain't got time to fool with them. They is too busy runnin their business!


Folks what believe all those rumors about everthang bein dead is like critters what get run over by cars... they is layin on the side of the road dead while all those business owners is comin by and pickin em up for vittles!
#death
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    • We have missed you.
      Dang, where did I go? Did I have fun whilst I was there? I do know that I shore am happy to be back again!

      <I have GOTS to stop sippin the rheumatize medicine before noon>
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      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author caseycase
    Another great dose of Thaddeus' wisdom. Always appreciated!!
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    Free IM Info, No Junk - http://www.ironcladim.com



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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Sounds like a dadburn good tunity to get me some roadkill

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  • Profile picture of the author aldentan
    I guess different people have different truths. So you gotta find your own!
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    • Profile picture of the author PatriciaJ
      At least humour isn't dead yet
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      • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
        Banned
        Originally Posted by aldentan View Post

        I guess different people have different truths. So you gotta find your own!
        What are you saying here?

        Originally Posted by PatriciaJ View Post

        At least humour isn't dead yet
        I know which thread I'm starting next lol.
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      • Profile picture of the author rrm
        Originally Posted by PatriciaJ View Post

        At least humour isn't dead yet
        You tell it, sister. (But WAIT! Next thread topic: The Death of Humor)

        Ron
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        It's not enough to want it... you have to want it enough.

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        • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
          Banned
          Originally Posted by rrm View Post

          You tell it, sister. (But WAIT! Next thread topic: The Death of Humor)

          Ron

          The deed is done
          . Mwahahahahaha
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          • Profile picture of the author rrm
            Originally Posted by Joe128139 View Post


            The deed is done
            . Mwahahahahaha
            Dude!

            That was way cool.

            Hadn't laughed that hard in a while! Had to give you thanks on that one.

            Ron
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            It's not enough to want it... you have to want it enough.

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  • Profile picture of the author Tony Dean
    Hilarious anybody should pray over a new septic tank!
    We'll sure try and make it to your 99th. birthday Thad.
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  • Profile picture of the author jakewen
    Wow Thaddaeus! you'r one dagburn funny guy. I'll tell you wut.

    Thanks for the insightful and humerus post! you rock!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jager
    I like to dissect the internet. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
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    I have to return some videotapes.

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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    It was about time for some dagum redneck wisdom... Thankin you for bringin it.
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    Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
    Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
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  • I just played "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" in honor of you, Thad.

    It made me cry.
    Loudon Wainright III! Can't find many great sangers like that no more! Ever time I hear that there song, I start gettin a mite hungry!

    Tear jerkin songs like that make me cry too!
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    Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
    http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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