Can I buy a computer?

19 replies
Howdy Folks!

I was readin through the forum and I found several different conversations where people were arguing back and forth. It was funny because neither side was understandin what the other folks was sayin. It got me to wonderin how these folks was makin any money online cause you got to be speakin the language of your customer.

If you cain't converse with folks on THEIR terms, you ain't gonna make many sales! THEY are the ones with the money. THEY are the ones you are wantin to sell to. THEY are the ones who need to be understandin you. If you cain't be communicatin with your clients you ain't gonna be doin very well with your business.

It sorta reminds me of Homer Thadpucker tryin to buy hisself a computer. He called one a them high fangled computer stores on the phone and... well, let me just show you how that conversating went...

Salesperson: Superior Computers! How may I help you?
Homer: Wellsir, you can be helpin me get a computer.
Salesperson: Mac?
Homer: No sir... may name is Homer!
Salesperson: Okay Homer, would you like a Mac?
Homer: No sir, I ain't hungry right now and we ain't even gots a McDonalds here in the holler!
Salesperson: No, I am talking about your computer.
Homer: I ain't got no computer. That's why I am callin you!
Salesperson: Okay, let me try this a little differently... would you like a computer with Windows?
Homer: Why in tarnation would I want to see inside a computer? I guess it would be okay if the computer has windows but what would I be seein in the windows?
Salesperson: Well, you would probably be seeing Wallpaper.
Homer: If there is wallpaper on the windows, how would I be seein anything. That just don't make any sense! Look, I just need a computer and some a that software stuff.
Salesperson: So you need software for Windows?
Homer: NO... I need software for my dadgum computer! I have a business what makes shine... ummm, I mean arthritis elixir... and I need the software to be able to do all kinds of stuff.
Salesperson: Okay, how about Office for Windows?
Homer: Well, I already gots me an office and it already has windows. I just need some software stuff for my new computer that is gonna be in my office.
Salesperson: Office?
Homer: Yes, can you recommend something for my office?
Salesperson: I just did!
Homer: You just did WHAT?
Salesperson: I just recommended Office for your computer!
Homer: LOOK... I just told you that I done had an office and all I want is a computer to go in the dadburn thing! Okay, say I want to just type up some letters or somethin like that. What would you recommend?
Salesperson: Word for Office!
Homer: A word for office would be "place of business" but I don't want to be playin this game. I am tryin to buy a computer! Let me try this once again... what would you recommend for me to keep track of my profits?
Salesperson: Money!
Homer: Well of COURSE we are talkin bout money. This here ain't no barter and trade business!
Salesperson: No, I mean that your computer comes bundled with Money!
Homer: Whooo weeee! NOW we are talkin! You mean to tell me that my new computer will come bundled with money?
Salesperson: Absolutely! It comes with one copy.
Homer: Well now, I can see you and I are in the same business. I have been known to be makin some copies of money ever now and then.
Salesperson: Microsoft has given us a license to copy Money.
Homer: How do I get one of them there licenses?
Salesperson: You just buy a computer from us.
Homer: Okay!!! Now we are getting somewhere cause that there is what I want to do. Now, I want you to sell me a computer!
Salesperson: Mac?
Homer: <click>

Let me be sayin it again... if you can't communicate with your customers at their level, you ain't gonna get nowhere!
#buy #computer
  • Profile picture of the author payment proof
    LOL. It reminds me of that very old comedy routine "Who's on first"
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Thad, as our buddy Larry the Cable Guy likes to say, "I don't care who you are, THAT was funny!" :p
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      [DELETED]
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      • Profile picture of the author PatriciaJ
        I nearly choked on a cherry reading that. A great example of 'the customer is always right'
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  • Profile picture of the author Wilton White
    Very funny!

    The lesson is timely; communication in terms that your customers can understand is essential for doing business with them. Clients will let you know what they want. However, in the interest of effectively growing their business, it is sometimes necessary to convince them that what they want is not actually what they need. Ensuring that you're both speaking in terms they understand will help to close the gap in mutual understanding.
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    Thad,

    I do not agree at all.

    Why did the Computer Guy want to buy arthritis medicine? I bet arthritis medicine is code for something else.

    I think your friend should report that guy to the FTC for soliciting illegal substance over the Phone.

    Homer should demand to be added to the do not call list.

    Regarding Homer claiming copyright to Office and Windows that will be hard to prove. I'm not a lawyer, however, it's been said here many times, Law is not brain science so I'd say go ahead and register some names with Microsoft, Office, Windows, etc. and go for it.

    IMHO

    George Wright
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  • Profile picture of the author Troy_Phillips
    Wow ..

    Thad just wrote an article that didn't have a lot of facts or figures or any other bells or whistles and I still read it all the way through.

    Could there be more than one marketing lesson here?
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      Originally Posted by Troy_Phillips View Post

      Wow ..

      Thad just wrote an article that didn't have a lot of facts or figures or any other bells or whistles and I still read it all the way through.

      Could there be more than one marketing lesson here?
      Nope!
      Just the one lesson. Never tell anyone about your shine business... ummm, I mean arthritis
      elixir business...Just saying... :rolleyes:

      Have a Great Day!
      Michael
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      • I thank all you folks for them replies but I just have one question... why is it that most of the replies came from fellow hillbillies? In fact, if you go lookin up the word "hillbilly" in the Funky Wagonwheel dictionary, it just says "John McCabe" and "George Wright".

        AND just for your information, the use of my arthritis elixir has just about wiped out ALL incidents of arthritis here in the holler! In fact, I am one of the nominees for the Notell Peace Pipe award for my advances in medicine!

        Why did the Computer Guy want to buy arthritis medicine?
        Ummm... maybe he had arthritis???

        I think your friend should report that guy to the FTC
        Why in tarnation would the Fertile Turtle Commission want to know about Homer? They got enough to do here in the holler keepin track of all them horny turtles!

        Take care folks!
        Signature
        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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        • Profile picture of the author KenJ
          Man I wish I knew what "Shine..." was.

          Great job anyway

          Kenj
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          • Profile picture of the author Torreylee
            LOL, that is Classic!
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          • Profile picture of the author Troy_Phillips
            Originally Posted by kenj View Post

            Man I wish I knew what "Shine..." was.

            Great job anyway

            Kenj
            Shine is just corn juice. Our ancestors found it more economical to turn the corn into a liquid as you can put one bushel and a peck into one, one gallon container.

            Never count out hillbilly ingenuity.

            a bushel plus a peck of corn ... $12

            One Gallon Corn Juice (Not aged) ... $75

            Seeing granny cured of her rheumatism ... priceless
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          • Profile picture of the author DianaHeuser
            Originally Posted by kenj View Post

            Man I wish I knew what "Shine..." was.

            Great job anyway

            Kenj
            Kenj,

            He was referring to Moonshine - some kind of alcohol that he and John McCabe imbibe on a regular basis.

            Apparently so does George Wright, based on his answers in this thread

            Di
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  • Profile picture of the author Rose Anderson
    Thad,
    Do you have an affiliate program set up for your...eh...elixir? I would love to get it in on some of that action.

    Rose
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    • Originally Posted by Rose Anderson View Post

      Thad,
      Do you have an affiliate program set up for your...eh...elixir? I would love to get it in on some of that action.

      Rose
      Well, let me just say this... if you was to "affiliate" yourself with my, ummm, arthritis elixir, not only would your arthritis go away but so would most of your common sense! It shore is some powerful stuff!
      Signature
      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    Thad,

    I am so sorry. I misread your first post, thus my totally disconnected reply.

    The more accurate responce should have been, YES, the WarRoom is worth it and yes, you should join.
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    "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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    • Originally Posted by George Wright View Post

      Thad,

      I am so sorry. I misread your first post, thus my totally disconnected reply.

      The more accurate responce should have been, YES, the WarRoom is worth it and yes, you should join.
      Dadgumit George, if I told you once I told you a thousand time to stay out of my arthritis elixir! See what you done! Now you done started talkin in that unknown tongue!!!
      Signature
      Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
      http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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      • Shine is just corn juice.
        Well actually Brother Hillbilly Troy, MY elixr is specially brewed... ummm, prepared... to work it's magic on arthritis. I DO have some other... remedies... that work much better on corns!

        The fact is that ANY of my... medicine... will work on just about anythin. Even if it don't cure it, it's guaranteed to make you forget that you even got the problem!
        Signature
        Thaddaeus T. Hogg, The Hillbilly Marketeer
        http://www.hillbillymarketer.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Mate
    LOL! That was great!
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