Great Expectations & Sour Grapes of Wrath

8 replies
Noticing a trend lately of "doom and gloomers" who tend to put down others' goals.

Maybe its always been here, and now that I see what is possible and have a positive outlook it might just be standing out more to me. (kinda like when you buy a new car and then every car you see on the road is just like yours)

I know the numbers. Yes, most people here will fail and fail miserably in IM. But really, its not IM's fault, and its not marketers faults. Failing is 100% on the individual. So for us to think that someone will fail, or that a "Goal" is too lofty is rather presumptuous of us. We don't know the make up of each individual, their fortitude, their passion, their WILL to succeed.

Sure, every day we see people come in and even more leave, or some come in and tell us how much they want to make only to never even START.

But come on, really? Maybe I am forever an optimist, but instead of putting down someones goals as being too lofty, sometimes its just as easy to have a word of encouragement than it is to downplay someones intentions.

There are many people here who have just got into IM and can make more in one month than others who have been trying for years. Personally I think the difference is determination...and who are we to stereotype all newcomers into the "can't do it" column?

If someone has great expectations...no need to pummel them with sour grapes. A word of encouragement can go a long way to the right person.

(see how I ended my dialog by tying it into my title)

keith
#expectations #grapes #great #sour #wrath
  • Profile picture of the author Jon Paella
    Yes, definitely it's better to encourage than not. But I guess it's also important to be realistic - that doesn't mean putting down other people's goals. Encourage others and help them to go on the right path. Always be optimistic and encourage them to persevere. With the right advice and help, anyone can succeed.

    Just because someone has tried but failed doesn't mean others will also do so. But one has to be focused and persevere and get the right help and advice.

    Because of all the hype going around - especially by WSO sellers and the excesses of marketing and manipulation in this industry - it's easy to be negative and pessimistic.

    But the winners will ultimately be those who persevere and not give up - no matter how many times he's felt cheated or deceived or misinformed. There's very little that can substitute for perseverance and a positive and optimistic attitude.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441167].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author officer_iron
    I think there are two legitimate reasons that you see the reactions you are describing.

    1) IMers who have spent a lot of time and a lot of hard work are irritated by newbies who come in here, post that they want to make $1000 overnight, and want us to tell them exactly how to do it.

    2) Newbies get sucked in by the overhyped claims they see and more experienced IMers try to tell them what is more realistic.

    That being said, I'm all for encouragement, but I do get rubbed the wrong way by an attitude that seems as if they deserve the money to be handed to them without any effort on their part.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441330].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
    Originally Posted by Keith Boisvert View Post

    Maybe its always been here, and now that I see what is possible and have a positive outlook it might just be standing out more to me. (kinda like when you buy a new car and then every car you see on the road is just like yours)
    Probably the opposite.

    To use your car analogy - it's what you have that you see.

    YOU are the filter for what you see. If you're seeing a lot more of something it's because you're tuned to pick it up.

    The fact that you felt the need to start a post to highlight the negativity is not exactly the most positive mindset in the world - is it?

    I can't remember who said it but there's a saying something like "you see what you are".

    Andy
    Signature

    nothing to see here.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441440].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Keith Boisvert
      The fact that you felt the need to start a post to highlight the negativity is not exactly the most positive mindset in the world - is it?
      Depends on your outlook I suppose. Point taken though. IMO if only ONE person decided to post something encouraging when they might normally not do so, and it impacts someones mindset, then I suppose my "negative highlighting" would have not been in vain.

      Or not.

      ~keith
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441571].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Andyhenry
        Originally Posted by Keith Boisvert View Post

        then I suppose my "negative highlighting" would have not been in vain.

        Or not.

        ~keith
        I wondered how well you'd take that. I'm not trying to push your buttons, just point out that even when we think we're on top of this mindset stuff - there's usually still some work to do.

        I do agree with your point though.

        Now is as good a time as there ever has been to start your own business and there's no reason why someone can't be successful quickly - it does happen. So there's not really any logic to telling people not to dream big - it's just a case of ensuring they're able to protect themselves while they do it.

        A lot of the negativity comes from people who've been looking for others to tell them how to create/run their business and they've bought a ton of stuff with no real plan and then think they've been ripped-off because they weren't handed their own success by someone else.

        As soon as you put the responsibility for your results outside yourself - you've already lost control and can't blame anyone but yourself.

        Andy
        Signature

        nothing to see here.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441649].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Suthan M
    There is nothing wrong with being positive and cheering people off -but sometimes, you need to be able to provide people with honest reality check.

    When people come in with no skills, vague business plan, no technical skills, and resources and suddenly say- 'hey, i am going to make $XXXXXX amount in XX days" - I think its in the best interest of the person to advice them on what lies ahead, and what needs to be done.

    IMHO, I personally would prefer a straight talker rather than a cheerleader all day. This IM is a serious stuff, not a play thing. But that's just me and my opinion on this.
    Signature

    Whats the latest movie you watched? Anything good?

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441672].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Keith Boisvert
      I wondered how well you'd take that. I'm not trying to push your buttons, just point out that even when we think we're on top of this mindset stuff - there's usually still some work to do.
      lol, no worries. I am not that way. I have no ego and if a good point is made then its hard for me to debate it.

      ~keith
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5441681].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
        Keith, I agree with the spirit of your post. But I see a difference between a word of encouragement and blowing sunshine up someone's skirt.

        Poster: I wants make big moneys writting artickles. You thinks I do this?

        Chorus: Yeah, go for it, you can do it, just take massive action, yada, yada, yada...

        Realist: Compare your writing at this stage of your life to the writers that ARE making big money. Write as well as they do, and you have as good a shot as anyone.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5442048].message }}

Trending Topics