It's hard when you're all alone.

by Joshua Rigley Banned

Posted: 12 years ago 24 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

What a wild ride it's been. Or, it would have been, if the ride had gone anywhere. Or if I had anyone to share it with.

I was thinking about why it's so hard for me to take action with something, anything, and I believe I've come to a conclusion that is not only true for me, but may also be true for others.

I'm all alone. Throughout my journey of IM, I've never had a mentor of any kind. I seem to be the only person in my community that has a passion for IM, so I don't have anyone to talk to in real life about it.

What we need is a creative, casual environment (we're talking pizza and bean bags), where a small group of people can meet, talk, and work together on a common interest. This could make any subject interesting, and it would greatly enhance the learning process.

Plus we'd be seeing a lot more creative geniuses, and far more people taking action.

The public school system has the potential to make this happen, but they fall short in this area. The learning environment is often bland and counter-productive. Lots of people are crowded together to listen to a long and boring lecture, and then are sent home so they can try to memorize stuff from a textbook, all alone.

IM also lacks in this area. Since most of us live in diverse parts of the world, it's difficult, and sometimes even impossible, to create a learning environment like the one I mentioned before.

Not to mention, it's pretty lonely. My family are mostly supportive of what I try to do, but they don't really understand it. I don't really have anyone nearby to talk with, or work with on IM.

Besides the company, it helps to have someone be there to hold you accountable, encourage you, and help you get to your goals.

I'm reminded of a saying on one of those motivational posters at a grocery store I used to work at: "There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will only accomplish your goals with the help of others."

What say you? Is this a frustration that hits close to home, or have you never had this kind of trouble?

Also, let's brainstorm ideas. What could be done to create this kind of learning and working experience?

Thanks for reading.

#hard

MikeTucker 12 years ago

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- fluffythewondercat 12 years ago
  
  Have you ever considered ditching IM so you can find something that inspires you?
  
  When you love what you do you don't need anyone riding herd on you.
  
  fLufF
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  GypsyButterfly 12 years ago
  
  I write. My husband has always been the one who is the most encouraging & supportive of me. It was because of him that I finally became motivated to pursue my dream. That & the difficult circumstances we found ourselves in. Besides him, I have a client who really keeps me going. At least, for creative types, being left adrift, is usually how it is.
  
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John Romaine 12 years ago

I can relate to the OP 100%

Ive been sitting in front of this computer for years - alone!

In my home town of Brisbane, we used to have meetups, where we would get together with other marketers and just chit chat about "stuff". It was usually held at the local library.

Occasionally they would try and hold presentations, but I always felt the informal dinners and social events were the best.

FYI - It was all organised through meetup.com
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WriterWahm 12 years ago

I know exactly how the OP feels and I love IM. There's a lot to be said for encouragement no matter how self-motivated you think you are. I try to offer that kind of encouragement/accountability because I know first-hand how hard and lonely it can get.
Meetup.com is great btw and you could organize one. You would be surprised how many people like you are around your neighborhood.
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Brendan Mace 12 years ago

This post did hit close to home with me for sure. Not that many people are involved with IM. And most people that aren't involved don't really want to fake interest. When I try and discuss my business with my family or friends, it's fairly obvious that nobody really cares all that much.

Internet marketing needs to be something that you enjoy. And the lonliness is an unfortunate byproduct of an area that is disconnected with most people in your life. You either have to deal with that or move on.

Forcing yourself to be productive is difficult. One of my favourite marketers once said that "you need to push yourself into feeling uncomfortable in order to be productive. And he's right. It's not comfortable at first to attempt new things all by yourself. But it must be done in order to be successful.
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iramency 12 years ago

I feel you. My husband wonders what I do late at night with my computer. It gets more attention than him but I dedicate a religious amount of time to IM. Perhaps you should contact the marketing or business teacher at the school and see if you can be a guest lecturer if they will allow it into their curriculum ..some schools that have marketing programs may. Maybe do some learn-now classes at the local library---the libraries may help advertise! Bottom line is you have to get the word out.
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- Jon Patrick 12 years ago
  
  You also have to remember that while there may not be people in your local area who share your interest in IM, you're fortunately not limited to interacting with people in your local area now that we have the internet and communities like the Warrior Forum.
  
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TBInternetMarketing 12 years ago

What I find really keeps me focused when I am having a down day or, wondering whether or not I should try some angle with IM, is to say the words Traffic & Conversions. I wrote a post about this the other day, but I find it amazing how that kinda snaps me back to reality and simplifies whatever issue I am facing.

I try to remind myself every morning when I look in the mirror, that I am in the business of traffic & conversions! That's it. I just drive targeted traffic to offers and then convert that into sales.
Give it a go...it will help you stay focused when things seem overwhelming.
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hustlinsmoke 12 years ago

I don't have a mentor but I have online friends and offline that I network with. Not one does the same thing I do so makes it easier. Im a chatty guy so they don't chat back as much but it still works out okay for us. Anytime someone has an idea the others can help in some way shape or form.
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dsouravs 12 years ago

yes correct....
me too lonely.
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Cash37 12 years ago

I absolutely agree with you. Sometimes you question if you should just go the easier way, because no one around you can help you. In some niches you just feel like you cannot gain any traction when you see teams, and big companies, then there's just you.

I'd say stick in there. I have been. It's hard, and there isn't a big pot of gold guaranteed at the end of the road but you'll never know if you don't give it an honest try.

There will always be other industries you can enter, schools, and trades you can learn. This time in IM will NEVER happen again. This is the second boom. The first was the late 90s... this is the second go around. Give it your best. Make it your goal to move, network, whatever you have to do to make friends in this industry.

Its my personal goal to meet all of my online contacts face to face this year, which will probably have me in at least 4 different states. But it will be worth it. Everyone isn't wired like us, so its a must to get together face to face and build those connections. Who knows where you can end up?
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Tenzho 12 years ago

Why not introduce IM to your friends, close friend.
I have a friend who are into IM together, you won't get bored easily, you have much about IM to talk about together.
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YasirYar 12 years ago

IM in particular is a very hard field to get into. Not only is the work something that most people do from home in front of the computer in solitude, but also, people in a lot of communities do not really understand how it works so even discussing it with other people offline is next to impossible. Few people can relate to this kind of profession, and this just adds to the woes.

I guess we are lucky to have the next best thing - this forum. Here is a dedicated community that brings together people with the same problems. I'd just suggest trying to keep your personal and professional lives as far apart from each other as possible, as difficult as it may be.
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- Nightengale 12 years ago
  
  Man oh man, can I relate to this!
  
  I decided to work with my mentor again this year and paid $7K for 6 months of coaching. Entrepreneurial loneliness was a big part of why I did it.
  
  Now before the entire WF has a heart attack, that's not solely why I joined. Even at my loneliest, I'm not THAT nuts!
  
  I'm moving into pre-launch of a new company next month and will launch officially in May. I've never done anything on this scale before and find myself both with a lot of questions and an enormous amount of overwhelm. Both of these lead to a lot of procrastination and analysis paralysis. My mentor's coaching program gives me:
  
  1. Support and guidance as I launch
  2. Accountability (this is HUGE!)
  3. Community
  
  Since launch is such a critical period, I felt the investment was well worth it. After all, if I can't launch, I don't have a business!
  
  The coaching program includes a mix of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, along with three live events, including a 2-day mastermind happening next month. Between the events and bi-weekly group coaching calls, I suddenly feel less alone.
  
  I'm also fortunate that my sister is into this stuff and is also trying to launch a business. While she hasn't dived into IM and DM (direct marketing) as deeply as I have, she still knows a lot and for the most part, understands what I'm saying when I talk to her. She's the ONLY one who does.
  
  As much as I love the WF, it only goes so far. I enjoy the interaction here (which is why I still come here), but for the most part, I've outgrown it. The never-ending newbie questions ("How do I make money online?" Are we hearing that AGAIN???) and complaints here keep the WF stuck at a certain level. I have to move on.
  
  For direct response (DR) and Internet marketing, I generally find my local Chamber of Commerce to be completely worthless. I'm not doing business locally, for the most part and the general business population doesn't "get" IM or DR. My business is global and is defined by industry. Very, very few of my target market is found in my local Chamber of Commerce, if at all.
  
  MeetUp.com can be helpful, but I've found that to be hit-and-miss. In fact, I haven't yet found even one worth attending on a regular basis.
  
  I find a lot more value in the paid-for workshops, meetings and masterminds. Something about having to pay for it attracts an overall higher quality of people. They have "skin in the game" and consequently, complain less and are more committed. They're a lot less likely to quit right away too.
  
  For the day-to-day meetings/groups/masterminds, I find the Glazer-Kennedy Insider Circle (GKIC) groups to be the best. (Well, month-to-month, I guess. )
  
  Fabienne Fredrickson of ClientAttraction.com is highly visible in the marketing arena. She recently made a comment on Facebook that entrepreneurs are some of the loneliest people on the planet. And I'm finding that to be very true.
  
  NOBODY in my day-to-day life except my sister "gets" me. And I'm so lucky I have her!
  
  Beyond that, I'm finding I have to pay A LOT of money (AND travel expenses!) to find "my people." But it's truly been worth it so far. I'm starting a new business based on a very specific business model that's familiar to most people, but very rare for anyone to start. Because I'm new to this and it's very specialized, I find that having a mentor is most important to me right now and the community of others is secondary, although still highly important.
  
  I'm also an introvert and for several personal reasons, often feel uncomfortable in networking situations. (I have some rare physical conditions which make social interaction especially painful if everyone is a complete stranger.) I prefer to hide behind my computer. (Yes, I admit it!) I've recently started reaching out though and just went to a local business ladies luncheon earlier this month.
  
  A few of my target market is there, but for the amount of time, effort and money I spend on the luncheon, it's really not worth it. I felt my normal discomfort and really wanted to go home -- right quick! But I've decided to go as often as I can because it will help me practice being in networking environments. And Lord knows I need the practice! I need a small place to stumble when it won't cause irreparable business/reputation damage.
  
  Fortunately, it's only once a month.
  
  Does that make sense?
  
  Though I feel my normal discomfort during our mastermind meetings with my mentor, I get comfortable fairly quickly compared to other networking situations. Maybe it's because it's more like a class we've all paid to attend as opposed to a networking event where everyone is shaking hands trying to get business from everyone else as quickly as possible without turning them off??? :p
  
  Other than the high-priced mentoring I'm currently in, the GKIC meetings are the only other ones I think are worth attending. Beyond that, the only other live networking events I think are worthwhile are the ones full of my target market where I'm a speaker.
  
  Michelle
  
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ryannull 12 years ago

I can relate.

I work a lot and alone for several years. I got use to it, it doesn't bother me. I had a habit of isolating myself from loved ones to keep the dream alive.

It would be nice to have meet ups, like mentioned above with other work at home people. You know, just a simple get together hangout, exchange ideas and have fun. I don't mean like those seminars that charge $5000+.
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sandebdavid 12 years ago

I do discuss certain aspects of IM with my dad. He definitely knows little about computers, but he listens and seems to understand the whole idea. In that way am motivated thinking some one understands what i actually aspire to do.
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rapidscc

12 years ago

Yes, internet marketing is a lonely trade. But when you reach a certain degree of success you'll gain more connections and friends.

Why don't you visit the mastermind thread here: Local Meetings, Mastermind Groups, And Forum Events

You can add a new mastermind thread for your area and connect with people with the same interest. You can then have meetings and gatherings which is every effective in lifting your spirit. I know that it helps based on experience.

That's what I did in the Philippines

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magiclouie

12 years ago

Originally Posted by rapidscc

Hi there mate,

I should better check that link out.

I am glad that I have come across and read your post.

Cheers,
Louie Tugas

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synergyxtr 12 years ago

I think for someone doing it alone at home it gets very lonely. Fortunately for us we are a team of IM trainees that is why it becomes more bearable.

From discussing to what we don't understand to listening to someones view on how a task is better accomplished.
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zackick 12 years ago

I never realize that their are actually lot of people alone doing IM at home or area nearby.

Nobody to chit chat when I feel down seeing something is not work out. I did try to talk to mine family but their rather don't care much and that is very heart broken.

P my english s**k
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jeffreys 12 years ago

Like you, Joshua, my family support my decision to work online but it's lonely sometimes. The lure of making 5 figures per month is what's keeping me hungry for success and of course fun.
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tpw 12 years ago

The smart-ass in me says, Match.com® | The Leading Online Dating Site for Singles & Personals

On the helpful side: Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup
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Eduard Stinga 12 years ago

I have to agree that it helps to have someone around you to talk with about this stuff - I always talk with my girlfriend about my business ideas and events, and although she sometimes finds it boring, at least she's listening and provides feedback, plus the occasional kick in the butt, when needed

And now that I moved to London, I was hoping to find some like-minded people around here - so I found a London IM meeting that's taking place once a month - will go and check it out
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Mrnewbie 12 years ago

Life is all about balance, you maybe very successful and in the beginning that was your driving force but now your finding yourself lonely because what made you great(your drive, sacrifice,doing things alone when others went out) is now a detriment to you. I suggest to find some other hobbies on the side or people in the field that can talk about other things besides IM.
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It's hard when you're all alone.

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