56 replies
Greetings Fellow Warriors!

Will you let me know if I'm a bad wife or not? LOL

Here's the sitch:

I'm a copywriter. And I've been operating under the name Miss Copy and (my maiden name) Rebecca Dean.

Well, I just got married (a month ago ) And since being married, I do wonder what to do about my name... First of all, I legally changed my name to Rebecca Kramer.

And my husband doesn't mind if I still go by Rebecca Dean in the professional world (I was just joking about the BAD wife bit!) which would be kind of cool because...

I love my maiden name!!!

and also, tho not a big deal... I actually own the two domains rebeccadean.com and .org.

rebeccakramer.com is unfortunately taken by... I think, a writer??? Whatever her purpose for the site, it's abstract... and rebeccakramer.org is home to another "we'll buy your gold jewelry, grandmother's gold teeth, gold anything!!!" site...

hmm... what to do, what to do...

And what do you think about Miss Copy... I mean, technically, am I a Mrs. Copy now...?

Tricky... tricky. What do you think, Warriors? I blogged about this as well, and got some feedback... and appreciate all the input I can get. So thanks in advance!

Regards,

Rebecca
#bad #brand names #wife
  • Profile picture of the author DotComBum
    Hello? Do you want to do a good branding or want to be a good wife lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Tsnyder
    I think it's a great big huge non-issue.

    Your professional name can be whatever you want it to be.
    You already own the domains... you already have an established
    clientele who knows you by that name... you probably have
    any number of people who aren't clients yet but may be in the
    future who would have no clue how to find you under your new
    name.

    Stick with the name people know.

    Tsnyder
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  • Profile picture of the author 4morereferrals
    As a married man of 17 yrs ...

    Whatever possessed you to get married?

    Ok that said, What would Martha Stewart do? Is that why Oprah is just Oprah and not Oprah Winfrey? And whats her hubbies last name anyway? Is she even still married, and why hasnt the universe brought her an abundance of husbands? I digress ...

    Bidness is bidness - and you've got the domains to prove it .... I say ya gotta roll maiden name status.
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  • Profile picture of the author sevenish
    Not that tricky. Stick with the brand you've built, unless you're willing to compromise all of that hard work.

    You might *ease* into the new name, but you'll be slowing down the momentum unless you do some massive PR to re-brand yourself at some point.

    I don't see how continuing to capitalize and build your brand per se has a bearing on your husband or family, apart from your ability to continue significant financial support ... that I can see anyway. I might have overlooked something there though.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    Oh, you guys are funny.

    @Charles E. White LOL. Somehow I just knew I was going to get that answer.

    @4morereferrals Thanks for your input! 1 month married and so far so good I LOVE IT!

    @Tsnyder Appreciate your input!
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  • Profile picture of the author 4morereferrals
    Originally Posted by Detailzdelivered View Post

    need more personal info lol
    Hahaha - yes agreed.

    As far as wifely status' go ... Good / Bad / etc...

    Most men preferred status = Naughty

    [ but that could just be the low brow group that I sample tested ... ]

    YMMV ...
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    • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
      Originally Posted by 4morereferrals View Post

      Hahaha - yes agreed.

      As far as wifely status' go ... Good / Bad / etc...

      Most men preferred status = Naughty

      [ but that could just be the low brow group that I sample tested ... ]

      YMMV ...
      OMG. I'm so naive. I didn't even pick up on that one the first time. Guess I need to hang out with more dirty minded men... or not!
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      • Profile picture of the author Charles E. White
        Originally Posted by Rebecca Dean View Post

        OMG. I'm so naive. I didn't even pick up on that one the first time. Guess I need to hang out with more dirty minded men... or not!
        You should have hung out with them before you got married!

        Congratulations!
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      • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
        Dean vs Kramer? Miss vs Mrs?

        Doesn't really matter. Most important is this, do you bake chewy brownies or are they dry and cakey?
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        • Profile picture of the author Tom B
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

          Dean vs Kramer? Miss vs Mrs?

          Doesn't really matter. Most important is this, do you bake chewy brownies or are they dry and cakey?
          Why would Charles bake brownies? That must be a offline marketing thing. lol

          Just look at what the brownies did to Charles' teeth.
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        • Profile picture of the author DotComBum
          Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

          Dean vs Kramer? Miss vs Mrs?

          Doesn't really matter. Most important is this, do you bake chewy brownies or are they dry and cakey?

          If I am her, I'd goes with Dean and Miss
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      • Profile picture of the author Philomina
        Stick to the original.Branding is not something that can be done overnight.
        Why throw all that hard work away?
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @DotComBum It makes sense. But not in a way that will genuinely (and ultimately) help my business.

    @sevenish Thanks. I think that is the general consensus. Which makes me feel better because I really wanted to keep my name!
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  • Profile picture of the author Floyd Fisher
    Congrats on getting married.

    As far as your name is concerned. I don't see that being a big stumbling block. As someone once said, 'A rose by any other name will smell just as sweet'.

    Of course, you realize now that you officially changed your real name, you will have to file a ficticious name statement if you decide to continue doing business as Rebecca Dean. Otherwise you're going to have a tough time cashing checks sent to you under that name (with ID fraud at all time highs, I would expect banks to be real sticklers about this).

    As for 'Miss Copy', I'd keep that under any circumstances. It's an identity like 'The Ad Surgeon', and quite valuable.

    Whatever you decide, good luck and godspeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ronnie Nijmeh
    Congrats on getting married When it comes to professional names and pen names, I don't think it matters all that much. Let your copy speak for itself and people will refer to you using superlatives anyway!

    Ronnie
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @Floyd Fisher Hey, thanks for the heads up. Hadn't thought about that yet.

    @Ronnie Nijmeh Thanks Ronnie!

    @vicone :rolleyes:

    @Thomas Belknap Now that's what I'm talking about! Tried to get my new hubby to take my name... but he wouldn't; being the only Kramer to carry the name and all... sheesh
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @Charles E. White Thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author Teenage Genius
    I agree with Tsnyder

    Also....

    Bad Wife?

    Is there such thing as a Good Wife? haha only joking
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    • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
      Originally Posted by Teenage Genius View Post

      I agree with Tsnyder

      Also....

      Bad Wife?

      Is there such thing as a Good Wife? haha only joking
      Yes. And I'm sure you'll make one. ha ha j/k.

      @Philomina Good point. Thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @Kevin Riley Yeah, I'm sure you can find brownie mix in Osaka from which chewiness is ensured... but come down to a small village of 6,000 in Kagoshima (Kyushu) and then we'll talk. My Okonomiyaki is chewy and delicious tho. And that reminds me to change my location on my profile.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin Riley
      Originally Posted by Rebecca Dean View Post

      @Kevin Riley Yeah, I'm sure you can find brownie mix in Osaka from which chewiness is ensured... but come down to a small village of 6,000 in Kagoshima (Kyushu) and then we'll talk. My Okonomiyaki is chewy and delicious tho. And that reminds me to change my location on my profile.
      Kagoshima? I come down there and it's Shochu that will be consumed. Only Osaka has the best Okonomiyaki.
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      Kevin Riley, Kevin Riley Publishing, Osaka, Japan


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      • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
        Originally Posted by Kevin Riley View Post

        Kagoshima? I come down there and it's Shochu that will be consumed. Only Osaka has the best Okonomiyaki.
        That's where I learned to make a mean Okonomiyaki. Lived two years in Amagasaki. Yes, and I should send you some Shochu. Have 6 bottles in my house right now (everybody gives it to me) and I'm not a big drinker.
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        • Profile picture of the author sevenish
          Originally Posted by Rebecca Dean View Post

          Yes, and I should send you some Shochu. Have 6 bottles in my house right now (everybody gives it to me) and I'm not a big drinker.
          You should have kept that to yourself
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    • Profile picture of the author teazers4
      Originally Posted by Rebecca Dean View Post

      My Okonomiyaki is chewy and delicious tho.
      Hmmmmmmm...naughty!!

      Congrats on getting married. I think the branding is in place and it works, the hubby is good with it and if you ever want to change you can always slowly move your readers to the new name. I'm sure they won't mind.

      Good luck,

      Neil
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @teazers4 OMG. :rolleyes: But, thank you for the congrats.
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  • Profile picture of the author teazers4
    You're Welcome!

    The congrats was sincere, the comment was just a late night chuckle!

    My bad!

    Neil
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  • Profile picture of the author Rebecca Dean
    @teazers4 Thanks... was hit with a barrage of late night chuckles it seems
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas Wilkinson
    Being married is a dirty job but I guess somebody has

    to do it. Nix on the Mrs. Copy. Sounds like you ought

    to be selling pancake recipes.

    Tom
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    • Profile picture of the author ExRat
      Hi Rebecca,

      These are difficult questions and I think you need to ask someone with experience of these things.

      I'll ask my friend Miss-Spelling for you and a naughty French lady I know called Miss-De-Meanour.

      (I wonder if she's any relation to Philomina above?)
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  • Profile picture of the author nata_sha
    Thanks God, you were kidding about bad wife thing. I was afraid i m going to get another sad story of some relation going wrong ... they make me cry :'(
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  • Profile picture of the author rcraig12
    I would stick with your maiden name for your professional standing. As you could damage your sales by changing now.

    Authors generally run under pen names anyways don't they?

    thanks,

    Robert
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    LOL - After I was divorced I didn't change my name back to my original because I figured I'd just get married again........but avoided mistakes 2, 3,4, and 5 just in the nick of time which was good but left me deciding each time whether it was time to change the name back.......but in the meantime I've been branded as S. Taylor.......so I've kept it just because that is what my crowd knows me as. I am still considering changing it for personal purposes but will leave the DBA as it is if I do so.

    Taking a man's last name didn't matter when women were homemakers - but in the business world it can become quite a mess. Maybe it's a tradition that has been outlived. Just have to figure out what to call the kids, LOL.
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    • Profile picture of the author BlueJam
      Well, it looks like you would need to do quite a few changes if you were to move to your new name. I really don't think it makes much difference apart from to people that may have used you in the past and could be trying to find you again. I also know a few women that have changed there names after marriage, but kept there old name for the business they work in...
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      • Profile picture of the author Charles E. White
        My ex-wife took my name 37 years ago when we got married and we got divorced 31 years ago and she still keeps my name and uses it.

        I want it back..damn it! I only let her use it temporarily when we were married, I think she should be paying me a fee for using it this long and pay me back fees for 31 years.
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  • Profile picture of the author Suzanne Morrison
    congratulations on getting married

    I had the same dilemma when I got married just over a year ago, but decided to keep my maiden name for online marketing & business stuff and using my married name in the offline world.

    It's pretty time consuming to change your name and I am only about half way through it, with my passport and some of my bank cards in my married name and some still in my maiden name. I forget who I am half the time and I've still not managed to master the new signature.

    Cheers,
    Suzanne
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  • Profile picture of the author esr
    I currently have four "pen names" I go by online. Each niche gets a different name. It's fun!

    However, Rebecca, I think it's so cute that you're worrying about this. I'd be curious to hear what your biggest worry is a year from now, when it comes to marriage. LOL.

    Congratulations, by the way.
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  • Profile picture of the author eSeM
    I vote for you to stay with Miss and dean, Dean just looks so much better on paper/web than kramer.

    And i'll leave all "bad girl" innuendos out of it.
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  • Profile picture of the author IMChick
    Keep the name that you're known by in your business, and keep the single "miss" not "mrs." persona. Consider it a pen name, or nom de plume if you want to be snazzy. In your personal life, do the Mrs. His-name thing.

    It's not necessarily a good business decision to confuse people and change your name in the middle of trying to maintain the same business, IMO, for logistic or vanity reasons.

    In my experience, many female attorneys and physicians have their degrees on the wall with their unmarried names on them because the degree was awarded before they were married, but they go by their 'family' name with the Mr. outside of work.

    Have a happy time as a newlywed. Congrads!
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeff Henshaw
      I think it's a great big huge non-issue.

      Your professional name can be whatever you want it to be.
      You already own the domains... you already have an established
      clientele who knows you by that name... you probably have
      any number of people who aren't clients yet but may be in the
      future who would have no clue how to find you under your new
      name.

      Stick with the name people know.
      This was an early post and has been repeated in principle in several threads throughout the post. In my opinion, I think that it is good advice though.

      Retain your bank account, your debit card, your credit card and anything else pertinent to business in your maiden name. You may have to touch base with the IR however, with regard to your marriage, to inform them that you are married, but still conducting business under your own name.

      All of the other stuff - mortgages, insurances, local taxation et al - you should discuss with your husband and agree a joint course of action.

      If substancial incomes and financial assets are involved however, contacting a reputable financial advisor would be sensible.

      Just my thoughts on this.

      Regards,
      Jeff.
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  • Profile picture of the author lburrell
    You are one attractive woman (if that is truly your picture) so what your husband is even thinking by questioning you using your maiden name is beyond me

    If I marry a woman as hot as you she can call herself whatever she wants as long as I am the only man she needs!!!

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  • Profile picture of the author lollieamp
    Congratulations, you are a good wife! if thats what you wanna hear =)
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick G
    My sister in law goes by both her maiden name and then our family name?
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  • Not to hijack the thread, but what if you have the exact same situation looming soon - BUT you absolutely hate your maiden name, and are looking forward to getting rid of it??? Do you keep it for branding purposes, or finally get rid of the darned thing??

    Feel free to chime in with your 2c. Rebecca!

    - Cherilyn Lester???
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    • Profile picture of the author Adam Kenzington
      Originally Posted by Cherilyn Lester View Post

      Not to hijack the thread, but what if you have the exact same situation looming soon - BUT you absolutely hate your maiden name, and are looking forward to getting rid of it??? Do you keep it for branding purposes, or finally get rid of the darned thing??

      Feel free to chime in with your 2c. Rebecca!

      - Cherilyn Lester???
      Hey Cherilyn,

      If you hate your last name, and you like the one you about to marry into, by all means, change it. Cherilyn Lester doesn't roll off the tongue too easily...(too many "L's", too close together). Definately re-invent yourself! Go with what makes you happy. It will be your name, after all.
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  • Profile picture of the author Adam Kenzington
    Hey Rebecca,

    Congratulations on your recent nuptules. I think you should keep things as they are. Especially if your husband is cool with it.

    I like Dean better than Kramer. Just think what images Kramer brings to mind...

    That controversial idiot from Seinfeld...Kramer vs. Kramer. You get the idea.

    Rebecca Dean has a nice/good sound to it. You have established yourself and your business under that name.

    Shoot, if you don't believe me, go ask Aunt Paula...she kept her last name when she got married. Think of all those confused viewers of the Food Network if she had gone with her new last name, (Schwartz, wasn't it?) instead of Dean. (Down Home Cookin', with Paula Schwartz!...just doesn't have the same effect)

    I think Rebecca Dean just sounds more professional. You can be Mrs. Kramer, at home. It will help keep your personal life/business private, as well.

    How about "Ann Landers"? That wasn't even her name. It was an Advice Icon/Persona. You've already begun branding your business under the Dean name...don't go confusing people.

    When out in your regular life, of course, you'll answer to Rebecca Kramer. Be proud of it. Your man had the good sense to pick you, and you chose him. That is part of who you are, now. So, Mrs. Kramer, I say good luck in your life and marrage, and also, good luck Paula Dean, Ms Copy, in your career!
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  • Profile picture of the author ichiban101
    I am happy to be in the same forum as two fellow friends living in Japan! My family splits it's time during the year. Winter and working months in California and summer months in Sasebo Japan. Back to visit my wife's family every years for two months! I am sure my father in law has at least four bottles of Souchu as that is what I must live off of in terms of liquids when staying with him. Not a big drinker myself but if you are male in my family you don't have a choice.

    As far as okonomiyaki I would have to say Hiroshima is the best. I mean my wives is the best.

    Ichibanda
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  • Profile picture of the author Enigma7
    Rebecca,
    Congrats on your nuptuals...I am Blessed to be married to an amazing, beautiful, intelligent, loving, kind...and extremely patient woman. Whom I Love and who Loves me! It only gets better! Take Good Care of each other!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    I would divorce you immediately.

    Not only would you have to change your pen name you'd have to give me 50% of your earnings every month to spend on clothes and personal attire. Well OK. More like 25%. I'm not fussy. *Grin*
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