Trade Off Between Loneliness and Freedom...An Internet Marketers Life

I can sorta late in some cases....

I am currently working as well as practicing my IM ventures. Sorta like working on two things at once. I finish work, my friends all go out to parties, clubs, get drunk, whatever.

On the other hand, I head straight home, to watch the latest webinar, can't wait to write the next article and do a quick video. My so-called 'weekend' are basically days in front of a computer screen. Even with people around me, I do often sometimes feel a sense of loneliness but at the same time, sanctuary as well.

My friends are out there partying, having fun, enjoying life, under the influence. While I'm here building a list, networking, marketing, and expanding my influence!

I'm gonna tough this out. I don't care if not many people understand. I'm doing this. I've made my first dollar online ages ago. In fact, I've already made my first hundred bucks. Heck, I've already made my first G.

I'm actually doing this! I've got a taste of what it is to finally remove all doubt that this s**t works. Yes there is pain, loneliness, and all that crap.
But there's only two things I can do about it - either let it consume me, be depressed, whimper about it, or I can man up, like a boss, pour my entire heart and guts into this project because I know that this gets me up in the morning and while help me create what's most important to me in life.

I'm with you on this man. I might not be on that level you're on yet, but I tell you what, I already KNOW it's gonna be worth it.

I'll drink to that.

Your ideal and dreams are a pure pipe dream for 99.99% of IMers out there. Many of us get into I'M because we are seeking extra revenue sources. In a way I feel bad for those who are single and knee deep in their I'M ventures. Why? Because you'll never get out of it until either failure or jackpot. No 'real' job can fulfill as much as making $$ online yet the secrecy and cloaking nature of I'M lends itself to isolation and deceipt. Its just how it is. There are some that are able to thrive in a fully open, lay it all out there method of I'M but those are few and far between.

And as far as traveling for your life, enjoy it now. When you hit 50 and are still traveling without a real. Home or family, you'll really know what lonely is.

Good advice from advice from # 3 he's right, I spend 10 hours a day in my basement office.
How lonely is that?

The moral of this story is that no life is perfect. But you have to always switch between in order to enjoy both life. In that way you will be able to overcome the boredom.

Interesting OP.
I wonder how many folk turn to this place to fulfill their base needs for social interaction, perhaps without even realizing it?

If you feel any sense of isolation or loneliness, you need to change your environment fairly quickly. Prolonged isolation and lack of social interaction can really change you as a person, in a negative way.
Whilst it's good to have goals, we should also be aware of what we're having to sacrifice in the short-term to achieve those goals (which in reality, may never be achieved). Will you be be more whole as a person when you achieve financial independence, or less whole due to the sacrifices you've made along the way?

Not sure who it was that said it, but it was an American businessman who had spent most of his life up 'til that point building his own business and been divorced once. His take on it was, "if you want friendship and loyalty...get a dog!." (I found this amusing and try to laugh at life when it gets painful. Which is a little contradictory to say the least. Probably why people say, "if you didn't laugh, you'd cry?") So laughing may help with the loneliness? Only a small crumb of comfort perhaps, but sometimes small things work just as well.

For the vast majority our infant/toddler/child experience, generally up to age 8/9 and beyond is constant companionship and being looked after by parents. In short, at this age there is fear of being alone, which we carry into adulthood.

If it's "haunting" you now, congratulations....you're normal!

Cheers man!!!!

@jrpt,

I don't think NateBunger is talking about a pipe dream. Nor Michaelangelo. But at the same time I can see where you are coming from. My wife thinks I am having an affair with my computer because I work all day in front of a computer and then I come home and sit in front of another computer until around midnight. There is a sense of loneliness to it but I know why i am doing it. I have 5 children and a beautiful wife that I would like to take to lunch every day for the rest of our lives and not have to worry about punching a clock somewhere because another man or woman is telling me what I have to do with my time. My main reason is because I want to have time for my family more than the normal 2 or 3 hours in the evening when you get home from work and the time the kids need to go to bed.

Oh how I envy you the freedom to just up and travel. I have 2 kids and the youngest is 2...we recently went on a family vacation and I was badly traumatised. But I understand completely what you mean as that used to be my dream before I got married.

Right now, freedom for me is taking my laptop to the local Starbucks and spending 5 hours working on IM. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's pure nirvana.

In spite of everything, I really do love my life!

Interesting thread. I've been full time for quite a while now and I struggled with this for the first year or so. Then the answer came to me. For me the solution was simple:

1. I took breaks during the day to touch base with friends, family, etc. If that wasn't possible due to a deadline or something else, I still made it priority to connect with them as soon as possible.

2. Mastermind with other entrepreneurs and people who "get it".

3. Make it a point to get out of the house (or office).

4. Take regular vacations (when I used to be on a tight budget, I would get on price line and name my own price for a nice hotel in another city just to get away).

5. Exercise regularly and eat well (this has a huge impact on mental health and well-being, not just physical).

Even after all these years I'm still part of two master mind groups, one meets weekly, the other meets bi-weekly. I also participate in my local chamber of commerce, volunteer and participate in charity events, and have a social calendar that's almost always booked.

I haven't experienced any form of lonliness in years and don't think I ever will again.

RoD

I don't feel your pain. I have worked in enough offices with people that given the choice, I would never want to do it again. They just weren't that companionable.

Having run online businesses for all of my adult life and half my teenage years, I just don't undertand this mode of thinking.

Granted, I am not in the MMO or IM niche. That may make a difference with the high failure rates and never really being able to make a difference.

For me, I always keep 2 10% time projects going.

One is usually somewhat business related or just a wild hair type idea. The other is always a project that is "bigger than me". Something that uses the relatively small amount of influence and wealth I have to do stuff to make the world better.

I could never be in business just for the money, I would hate getting up in the morning. Nothing about who people really are is designed for them to "just make money".

I must be weird. I lock myself in an internet marketing cave like a mad scientist with no light and no sound with Mozart playing in the background.

Damn palm trees just make me want to nap all day.

IM can often be solitary work, which means it isn't cut out for everyone. For me, it's worth the temporary sacrifice for the ultimate payoff that working hard and getting good at what you do will eventually bring.

Just think though: where there are palm trees, there are bound to be BIKINIS....

Loneliness comes when you work on your own as IM. But if you have people around to help you with your work. I think both side of life can be more joyful. As being IM and being you in the outside world.

This industry can sometimes spur boredom and loneliness. Personally, this business has been a blessing. I'd never survive in the corporate world again, I'd probably lose my mind. One way I kick out boredom is to take some time off and meet someone for a little chit chat. Sometime all it takes is less than 15 minutes. The body gets some exercise, and the mind 'resets' and when I get back to work, the mind is fresh once again. It does get boring when there is nobody to talk to and share ideas, though.

I do agree that it takes some initial getting used to...More for some than others depending on your personality. I'd say that I myself have struggled only mildly with the lonely aspect, but I'm also fairly introverted so solitude doesn't bother me.

We all have our lonely nights or off days, of course, but on the whole I think I handle it pretty well. I spend more time stressing about keeping up with my work than I do about my social life or anything; I'm enjoy where I am in that respect.

I definitely agree that exercise and good diet help A LOT! I notice a huge difference when I've missed a week of exercising - It affects just about every area of my life. I get more done and enjoy what I'm doing more when I maintain physical discipline.

I also think that extracurricular activity is a must...Don't expect IM to be both your work, entertainment AND relaxation. You are 99% guaranteed to burn out unless you restrict it to only 1 of those 3 categories. Again, at least in my experience.

Great post!

When I first quit my job to go online fulltime, I don't think I saw the sun or people for a year lol. It's pretty common in this industry.

It created some anxiety and depression issues. I realized while I was making money and working for myself, I failed to enjoy that money. I failed to spend time with the people around me.

After a while, most naturally learn to balance work and play. You can work hard but still make time for family and friends.

If you feel lonely, simply get out more. It's that easy.

I came back to this thread the next day and whooaa... you guys are talking about being 50 and being lonely? LOL

I am thinking... geez, I am only 24 (turning 25 this year) and only recently seen my first dollar (okay, so maybe not a dollar, maybe a bit more than a hundred... ok let's be honest, about a k... for the sake of being modest, let's leave it at a little bit more than a k). I don't mind sacrificing another 2-3 years of my youth locked in my bedroom watching webinars, writing articles, connecting with others like me on social platforms, JVing on forums, etc. if it means that I can create whatever life I want in the long run.

I am trading my time so I will have more of it to play with in the near future - I guess that's called investing, would it be? I learned somewhere that time has similar qualities to money in that there are only 3 things you can do with it - you can spend it, you can save it (yes, time can be saved) or you can invest it. I reckon it's worth it having 2-3 years of confinement in exchange for the rest of my years living what's most important and meaningful to me.

Yes, I've been out to parties, clubs, dates, cruises, you name it - but every single time there's always a weight on my shoulders, beating at me saying "F**k, now I gotta earn that money back." or "S**t, now I gotta save up again"... and I couldn't stand it.
I can't exactly enjoy those things to the fullest extent when I'm worried about how I'm gonna survive again the next day.

IM is really paying off, despite over a year of struggle and not making a cent.
Now I am at the point of setting up a team to help me run my business and I am starting to get more and more of my time back.

My point is - struggle is only temporary. The lessons you draw from them will always follow you in the form of gratitude.

I am sitting here browsing this forum with a glass of cognac, soft jazz, scented lamps, sitting on my godfather chair, thinking to myself - yeah whatever so I'm pouring my guts out on to a forum, all by myself in this little room, but at least I'm doing it like a boss. But you know what, I could be doing this from anywhere else I want to with an internet connection. The beach, the hotel room, you name it.

Okay, so maybe in a few years, I will be traveling too. And yes one day I will be coming home to my lavish house, seeing a woman hold my child in her arms and thinking to myself "I can come home to this every single day, without having to worry about going to work, or how I'm gonna pay the bills, and we can go wherever we want in this world" etc. etc.

All this just because I chose to sit at home and work my ass off for a few years (ok, try months) while others blew all their cash buying drinks for people they'd never see again and woke up broke the next day with a hangover...

I'm going out and see friends/family a lot more since i'm doing IM full time. I prefer staying at home than spending 4 hours a day in transport just because "at least" you meet people...