Did IM/business cause you to leave friends behind?

I learned very quickly in life, that who you surround yourself with directly effects your own success.

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals that are motivated for a better future.

The opposite happened to me. Now that I have a flexible schedule I am reconnecting with old friends because I am (almost) always available. No more being locked into a schedule that someone else determines for me.

I've been having a blast!

Not sure when the next cookout is, but you can bet I'll be there.



Hey! Speaking of a cookout...maybe a few groups of Warriors could get together and have an informal cookout. No meetings, presentations, "meet ups", or sales pitches; just a fun get together.

Yes?

All the best,
Michael

Had an experience like this. Friend of mine used to always hate when me and my good IM friend talk about marketing.

He would actually get pissed, even though he was trying to help his dad run a business. He didn't even understand the potential and he was lazy and hated talking about money.

Anyways, I'm a full time IMer now and he just moved back into his mom's basement. Go figure.

Hey Michael, is that open schedule all due solely to ebook cover-making business (be honest now...)? I mean if at any given time you have say 20 people expecting ebook covers done within 48 hours, I am missing something here (unless you're outsourcing the work, of course).

I actually wouldn't mind having that problem and having all my time tied up with work right now though... I could toil for a while and then outsource eventually.

But then who's fault is it really? It's not your fault if they don't want a better life for themselves. You shouldn't feel responsible for someone else's decisions.

I don't see a reason to make enemies like that. I mean, they're probably friends for some reason. The point about surrounding yourself with like-minded people is applicable if you're at the point you'll "rub it in their faces".

I'm a person who "jokes" about owning a fleet of Ferraris and a yard of yachts, so it's not like it's going to be unexpected when I pull up in an Enzo; it's rather expected.

If anything, I'd help them.

I was watching this show about how famous celebs made their millions, how hard they had to work to get where they had gotten, and how lonely it can be at the top. Entrepreneurs are a special breed, and the only people that understand them are other entrepreneurs. I think that's one reason why forums like this one are so popular.

I think the average person has a poor person's mentality. Most people grow up poor and surrender to the fact they are going to be poor and aren't willing to work that hard to change their situation. For instance, my own sister got me into making money online. She knows what I do is legit but would rather work at crappy job than do what I do because it takes too much effort, according to her. She isn't she about asking me for money, though. I don't worry about it anymore.

Joey

I had to recently say goodbye to a friend because of his mindset... I noticed his 'can't-do' attitude was rubbing off on me, finding myself becoming less motivated and more negative.

For some people it's easier to blame others for their negativity (the government, their parents, society etc) than to take responsibility and do something about it.

Change their mindset. Other than that, you really can't.

You know when I was watching John Elway at the Peyton Manning press conference I got a sense that he is in a position of strength & have to make tough decisions. That same metaphor can be used in all aspects of your own life. Money decisions, friends, temptations, vices, etc.

Lastly, you can't make someone motivated. If what you are doing is not inspiring them then that is something you'll have to live with because your happiness is more important than anyone elses.

Rambles unedited

I don't think I've left any friends behind, but..

I do think self-employment (in general) is a concept most employed people cannot relate to.

...and therefore may have trouble accepting people like me as actually 'working' for a living. I know my family members still, after all these years, don't understand what I do.

And unfortunately, adding the internet element to my business has caused some to view it negatively.
_____
Bruce

I don't believe I have IRL. I, however, don't really try much either. People usually either "get" it or don't. Those who are malleable I'll help, but too many don't see what could be.

No matter a persons profession they usually have friends and family in different careers. I have worked with several friends but it took them seeing my success to get motivated.

With the state of the economy I have laid off friends and friends who hate their current job who actually push me to show them what I do, or even hire them. I usually refuse just because most people see it as a quick fix (and more importantly see it as easy because of all of the marketing behind how easy/lazy internet marketing is).

Honestly, I've given up trying to explain what I do to my friends.

You can teach people until you are blue in the face, but there really is a deep-founded warrior-like passion required to be successful. It requires a certain mindset: to keep going and persevering through the most difficult rejections and failures. I love my friends...but, most don't have the attitude or mindset to succeed at THIS game.

Oh yeah...

Almost forgot to mention: I have had a NET INCREASE of friends since being online. They my be "virtual" in the strictest sense, but they are very real.

Do I cry when they pass away? Do I get sad when they face hardship? Do I laugh with them? Do I cheer for their success? Yes. Yes. Yes. YES! My online friends are awesome, and I look forward to meeting more of them in person.

Now...how about those cookouts?

All the best,
Michael

Only the ones who showed genuine interest. And then, at that point, I show them how much w-o-r-k it takes, in the beginning, to make money. The vast majority shrug their shoulders and say "I couldn't do that" or "Wow, that's too much work" or my favorite one, "gosh, you're lucky".

As if luck had anything to do with all those 16 hour days I used to put in.

I do tell them it gets easier once you've got your financial foundation, build up your list(s), traffic, VA team, etc. But most people are still stuck with the employee mentality. It's too scary for them to start their own online business.

Luckily, I've never had to leave or get rid of my real close friends. They are still with me. Looking back, the people I lost in my life weren't really my friends. They were people who simply didn't get it or had other priorities such as partying, complaining or whining, etc.

And I just didn't want to be around that. No joke, once I got rid of any negative people in my life and surrounded myself with positive, action-minded and like-minded people, my income went through the roof. I don't think that's a coincidence.

No, I don't live life with any regrets.

Sometimes, but it all depended on the nature of the relationship. There were a couple of girlfriends whom I did not want to break up with at the time, but they weren't supportive so I knew I had to move on because nothing was more important to me than my dreams.

But I'm with Michael. Since I went full time oh those many years ago my network of friends has grown dramatically - both online and offline. So have all the lady friends.

RoD

I lost my first friend because of MLM when I was 20, around 14 years ago. I talked him into going to an AmWay weekly seminar because I thought he'd be a good fit to come into my "business."

Guess what happened?

About 15 minutes into the presentation, with us sitting in the front/center of the room, he realized what it was, turned red in the face, stood up, told me to never @#$%ing invite him to this kind of bull%^&* again, and walked out. I haven't heard from him since.

I was stunned...so stunned I sat there and listened to the presenter and never heard a word he said. Afterwords, my fellow marketers congratulated me on staying in my seat and sticking with the program. I never made any money with AmWay, but I did learn a lot about persistence and about business in general.

I've moved all over the country for businesses I've owned and/or run, and I've left friends behind at every single step of the way. A lot of these friends were good people who could never take the red pill and step out of their "Matrix" to see what the real world could offer them.

Our society puts too much stigma on screwing up. Way too much. I have never learned anything from doing something the right way the first time; otoh, I have learned everything I know from screwing stuff up. I'm not scared to make a mistake, put my foot in my mouth, or even lose a friendship over something. It made me good at sales and successful thus far in life.

Most of my friends are too scared to do that, and it shows me that they don't have the entrepreneurial mindset that I do. I used to tried to explain to them that, if I were in their shoes, I'd be too scared NOT to try to make a better life. Honestly, I still am too scared not to try to do something. I don't want to settle for a life of knowing I'm only going to get $XX,XXX.xx per year...I want to be able to increase my earning whenever I want them to go up. If I want to buy a $1,000 leather jacket, I don't want to save my salary for 6 months to get it. I want to go out and sell a new ebook or affiliate program and get it tomorrow.

Don't follow the sheep into mediocrity...find your path, stay true to it, and live the life you want. You'll meet like-minded people on the way and find people who can believe in you without you having to convince them.

-- j

It happens all the time and you learn how to deal with it! But the great thing is you can always find new friends who are INTERESTED themselves in this stuff as well. That's not only a nice thing, it can also help immensely with building your own online business.

Love your family and friends. But choose your peer group. "Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group." - Tony Robbins

Totally hear you on this. About six years ago, I had a near-death experience that changed everything, and have been on the fast track of transformation ever since (first as a student and now as a teacher).

Every time there is a massive quantum shift, there are at least some people who move out of my life (and other relationships magically transform and heal). No amount of "trying" to keep them around would be in anyone's best interest, there just isn't any common ground right now.

I also had an entire blog audience that disappeared when I started charging money. They loved me just fine as long as it was all "free," but hey you know, I wanted to quit my desk job, didn't want to work two full time jobs forever, and I asked them very earnestly to support me. Some did, many disappeared.

But there's a bigger picture. For those who disappeared, the Universe sent me new people, people who WERE willing to support me in living a much better and happier life.

For me, it's important to have a bit of a grieving and mourning process with each transition (just as I did leaving my regular job to be a full-time coach and healer) ... often I actually cry for a bit as I release my attachment to old people, places, situations, and things. And then also to have trust in the big picture. Some of these people will return to our lives later, when they have done their growth and can be in the same vibration that we are in.

But in the meantime, we can set the intention of receiving into our lives people who do support us fully in being all that we know we can be.

I was also thinking about this thread when I was writing this post.

http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...ml#post5890937

So it's kind of relevant to both discussions.