Clients From Hell #33

67 replies
Well...

Obviously it's not #33 - it's just #27453423

But everynow and then one particular character shows up in our schedule. Today had the privilege to talk to one of the weirdest persons I ever met. After a detailed explanation of what we do, for how much, and with all the detailed information possible (and I repeat: all of it...) this Sir asked me to do:

  • Create a new site from scratch - minimum 50 pages (that's our default btw)
  • Take his site to #1 at Google
  • Promote his new site for 12 months with a exclusive banner in one of our Top 3 sites in his (high paying) niche
  • Plus using all our tools and knowledge to optimize his sales process for a whole year

All this for the supa dupa amount of... 55 euros per month for one year contract.



Upfront fee? Zero.
Goals awards? Zero.

O.M.G.

Now YOU share your clients from hell. Bet you have some too.

Fernando
##33 #clients #hell
  • Profile picture of the author sovereignn
    LOL Let me just work everyday for you for 1.5 euros a day
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by sovereignn View Post

      LOL Let me just work everyday for you for 1.5 euros a day
      Don't forget taxes!!! You end up with less then 1 euro!!
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  • Profile picture of the author R Hagel
    And this is a problem... why?











    (just kidding... and UFF!)
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by R Hagel View Post

      And this is a problem... why?











      (just kidding... and UFF!)
      I knew I heard that voice before...


      Originally Posted by Chris Kent View Post

      This is why I don't do regular client work. Too many a-holes.
      Ahhh It's just one drop of water among the ocean! And from what I've read about different markets, guess Portugal is a decent one (for now).
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  • Profile picture of the author cashp0wer
    I've dealt with clients who wanted way too much work for way too little pay. One of the reasons why I got into IM. I thought if I can work my but off for someone else I can work my but off for myself and make much more money doing it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nicola Lane
    for those that need a laugh may I recomment:

    Clients From Hell

    and along the same lines:

    Funny & Stupid Customer Stories – Not Always Right

    Have fun!
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    I like to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out

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    • Profile picture of the author Anthony Lex
      Glad it's not just me that get's clients with unreasonable requests or ridiculous queries.

      No matter how clear I make my prices in my sales threads or on my sales pages people will continually email me asking what I charge.

      Don't get me started on the topics I've had people ask me to write about... strange world we live in.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ettienne
        Originally Posted by Anthony Lex View Post

        Glad it's not just me that get's clients with unreasonable requests or ridiculous queries.

        No matter how clear I make my prices in my sales threads or on my sales pages people will continually email me asking what I charge.

        Don't get me started on the topics I've had people ask me to write about... strange world we live in.
        That's probably what happens to all of us. People are too lazy to read.
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    • Profile picture of the author ttdub
      Originally Posted by Nicola Lane View Post

      for those that need a laugh may I recomment:

      Clients From Hell

      and along the same lines:

      Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right

      Have fun!
      That first website is hilarious!
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  • Profile picture of the author alfid
    Ugh, I feel for you. There are many clients from hell. I used to work in Graphic Design and let me tell you, that is the worst!
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by alfid View Post

      Ugh, I feel for you. There are many clients from hell. I used to work in Graphic Design and let me tell you, that is the worst!
      My wife/partner is a graphic designer - I know how it feels :p Sometimes she just freaks out for a couple minutes before going 100% berserk. lol
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  • Profile picture of the author OmarNegron
    Lol that sounds pretty demanding! for little pay!

    Ouch

    -Omar
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  • Profile picture of the author Alam
    Received invitation for a job

    Details:
    Sign NDA and provide 10 technology related 600-1000 words articles.
    No Upfront
    No Milestone
    Payment after one week
    $3 per article

    My reply:
    Go to hell A-hole


    I am sure he's charging that company at least $200 per article
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
    I ran my own Physical Therapy Practice for several years providing advanced light touch therapy mainly dealing with chronic pain syndromes. I also use a lot of hypnotic suggestion and NLP during my work and I provide solutions to complicated conditions that many other therapists and practitioners give up on.

    Anyway, when I launched the practice I gave 30 away minute "taster" sessions and reduced my fee for the first 50 clients to 50% of the market rate.

    A few years later I moved my office and kept all my previous clients successfully. One of my initial clients (50% discount) remained a client throughout and I kept her on the lower rate in the hope she would provide me with referrals.

    Anyway, although a regular client I would not have been unhappy to lose her as she was paying way under my rate, she contacted me one Saturday afternoon saying that her 16yo daughter was in terrible pain and that she was sitting her high school exams and in danger of missing out. She was suffering pain related to stress and had been lying down in the dark because she had a migraine.

    Wishing to aid my client and to provide value, build relationships and all that good stuff I suggested she bring her daughter to my office and that I would travel to meet them there and do what I could.

    Anyway, cut a long story short the girl was a total mess and I spent a good 90 minutes (normal session 50 mins but as i had no others after I took the time), on my day off, working on her until she felt massively better. I gave her everything I could because I was sympathetic to her plight

    At the end of the session I turned to the mother and said "There you go, your daughter will be fine for her exams next and I will just ask you, despite the emergency call out and the extended session on my day off, your normal fee which as you know is at 50% discount anyway £XX please"

    To which she replied

    "But I thought the first session was always free?"

    She refused to pay you know despite my arguments like "you knew full well that I would make her better, didn't you?"

    Customer from hell alright
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    • Profile picture of the author danr62
      Originally Posted by Rick Britton View Post

      I ran my own Physical Therapy Practice for several years providing advanced light touch therapy mainly dealing with chronic pain syndromes. I also use a lot of hypnotic suggestion and NLP during my work and I provide solutions to complicated conditions that many other therapists and practitioners give up on.

      Anyway, when I launched the practice I gave 30 away minute "taster" sessions and reduced my fee for the first 50 clients to 50% of the market rate.

      A few years later I moved my office and kept all my previous clients successfully. One of my initial clients (50% discount) remained a client throughout and I kept her on the lower rate in the hope she would provide me with referrals.

      Anyway, although a regular client I would not have been unhappy to lose her as she was paying way under my rate, she contacted me one Saturday afternoon saying that her 16yo daughter was in terrible pain and that she was sitting her high school exams and in danger of missing out. She was suffering pain related to stress and had been lying down in the dark because she had a migraine.

      Wishing to aid my client and to provide value, build relationships and all that good stuff I suggested she bring her daughter to my office and that I would travel to meet them there and do what I could.

      Anyway, cut a long story short the girl was a total mess and I spent a good 90 minutes (normal session 50 mins but as i had no others after I took the time), on my day off, working on her until she felt massively better. I gave her everything I could because I was sympathetic to her plight

      At the end of the session I turned to the mother and said "There you go, your daughter will be fine for her exams next and I will just ask you, despite the emergency call out and the extended session on my day off, your normal fee which as you know is at 50% discount anyway £XX please"

      To which she replied

      "But I thought the first session was always free?"

      She refused to pay you know despite my arguments like "you knew full well that I would make her better, didn't you?"

      Customer from hell alright
      Ugh, if her daughter is only 16 couldn't you say that she wasn't a new client at all? Her mom's her legal guardian so the mom is the client, right?

      That's how I'd swing it, anyway.
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      • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
        Originally Posted by danr62 View Post

        Ugh, if her daughter is only 16 couldn't you say that she wasn't a new client at all? Her mom's her legal guardian so the mom is the client, right?

        That's how I'd swing it, anyway.
        dang, never thought of that!

        But can you imagine the mindset you need to be able to refuse to pay?

        I said to her "would you refuse to pay the dentist for an emergency extraction?"

        awful person and funnily enough much wealthier than me too
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        • Profile picture of the author sonicadam123
          Originally Posted by Rick Britton View Post

          dang, never thought of that!

          But can you imagine the mindset you need to be able to refuse to pay?

          I said to her "would you refuse to pay the dentist for an emergency extraction?"

          awful person and funnily enough much wealthier than me too
          this mindset is probably the reason why she's much wealthier too.

          It was nice enough that you let her pay below your normal rate for so long, she should have been grateful at just that considering how much she's already saved.

          You just can't win with some people, they think the world owes them.
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          • Profile picture of the author FredJones
            I wish there was a ban button for these people - for example, like Paypal has one to ban "unruly vendors"... You click ban and the person would not be ever allowed to have a website ever again...

            A lot of the human race is like that - pay zero get infinity. Maybe that's the reason a lot belonging to the human race are not exactly pleasures to deal with.
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  • Profile picture of the author JackieGold
    I actually wasted a good 45 minutes last night reading through stories on Clients From Hell web site. Laughed, shook my head, and was very grateful I am not in the software development business anymore...
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  • Profile picture of the author warrior_money
    People are always selfish. Always want to pay minimum to get back maximum.
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  • Profile picture of the author michaeljcheney
    Clients from hell? How long have you got? :-)

    I now have a BLACKLIST of people that refund my stuff because I know 100% hand on heart that if they refund they are just never going to APPLY what I teach or they're trying to rip me off.

    I'm fast developing a smaller list! :-) But a list of TRUE people who realize that to make money (whatever the method) takes work. Wow - I said it! W.O.R.K. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Some good ones folks, keep them coming.

    Stephen,

    People are always selfish. Always want to pay minimum to get back maximum.
    Not always. There are clients pretty willing to go far and beyond to keep you happy - we have some and they are great to work with.

    I am sure you have at least one or two, right?
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  • Profile picture of the author Eduard Stinga
    I get asked all the time to produce animated explanatory videos like the ones from Grumo Media or Epipheo Studios for a few hundred bucks.. when in fact, these companies charge $3k - $15k / min for them.. imagine that
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    • She refused to pay you know despite my arguments like "you knew full well that I would make her better, didn't you?"

      Please tell me this woman is no longer a client of yours.

      fLufF
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      • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
        Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

        She refused to pay you know despite my arguments like "you knew full well that I would make her better, didn't you?"

        Please tell me this woman is no longer a client of yours.

        fLufF
        --
        oh yes I sent her a letter terminating the relationship
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  • Profile picture of the author Amitywill
    He just sounds optimistic to me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Fred, for every client from hell we get, a good one shows up. That, and just that, makes my day.

    And if we ban them forever, fun will be over - I don't want that. Do you?
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    • Profile picture of the author Shadowflux
      Reading through some of these has reminded me why I stopped doing graphic design or even art for clients in general. I think the problem is that, regardless of what your style is, the client always has some image in their head of what they want. The problem is that most of them can't communicate this to you.

      Worse yet, if the work you produce isn't exactly as they envisioned it then they get mad and don't want to pay. It isn't just clients, it's bosses too. I was working as a graphic designer years ago. When I had finally quit (with good reason) my boss was a bit offended. He saw me on the street one day and literally chased me down to talk to me. The conversation ended like this:

      Him: "You know, to be honest, the work you do isn't even that good. I mean, you do good work when I just let you design everything yourself but whenever I gave you instructions the work was just bad."

      Me: "Yeah, that should tell you something."

      Him: "Fine, just send me high rez copies of all the work you've done so I can keep using it."

      Fortunately, since I've started working for myself, I've had the pleasure to work with some really wonderful clients with whom I've developed great friendships. (I still don't do art or design for anyone but myself!)
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  • Profile picture of the author Leslie B
    I've had my share of clients from hell in the past too, but up till early 2011 I just made due. That's until I had one moment where I knew I couldn't take it any longer and started to "fire" my clients when they became too much of a person to deal with. The reason of my mindset change?

    I had a client order a website a day before my mother passed away. I contacted him two days later stating him I couldn't do the job within the timeframe and that he could opt to receive a refund or that I would finish the work a week later then promised, choice was up to him (and I notified him before the deadline was finished). He answered me, calling me a liar and telling me that I used that excuse because I wasn't able to do the job and that I was a poor excuse of a human being to stoop that low to not come clean about my inexperience to deal with customers.

    Oh yes, clients from hell, I've had my share.

    Leslie
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    Taking it one day at a time!
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by Leslie B View Post

      Oh yes, clients from hell, I've had my share.

      Leslie
      What a sad experience, I can't imagine going through that. Some people just don't get it...
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  • Profile picture of the author dbarnum
    We get people coming thru Fiverr asking for 3+ hours of VA service, all for $5 total, and we're in the USA Don't know where $5 for 3 hours is good money, but they need to check country flags before asking, at least.

    We actually get people coming through our Warrior for Hire ad looking for similar super low rates, too. I just have to ask, "Seriously??" I mean these people want to pay $12 US for 12 page ebooks, single spaced, no less, small fonts. Right, seriously?

    Smokin' too much funny stuff, they are
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    • Profile picture of the author Sandor Verebi
      Originally Posted by dbarnum View Post

      We get people coming thru Fiverr asking for 3+ hours of VA service, all for $5 total, and we're in the USA Don't know where $5 for 3 hours is good money, but they need to check country flags before asking, at least.

      We actually get people coming through our Warrior for Hire ad looking for similar super low rates, too. I just have to ask, "Seriously??" I mean these people want to pay $12 US for 12 page ebooks, single spaced, no less, small fonts. Right, seriously?

      Smokin' too much funny stuff, they are
      Ohh Diana,

      Please, be aware: the zoo of God is big enough ... the fence is too low ... and the nurses are striking ...

      Cheers,

      Sandor
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  • Profile picture of the author latestnewsheadline
    Banned
    Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso View Post

    All this for the supa dupa amount of... 55 euros per month for one year contract.



    Upfront fee? Zero.
    Goals awards? Zero.

    Fernando
    Good customer
    Give it to competition.
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  • Profile picture of the author yohanaton
    Alright... Here's one...
    This was for a friend of a friend... (A favor/ first "client")
    Built a site...
    Got them ranked for multiple kw's in the top of the serp's...
    Kept trying to explain that it won't last, we need to be proactive... Ignored...
    Reached out to her month's later to see how she was doing...
    She was able to quit her job & devote her entire schedule to the practice I built her...
    (No thanks, no offer of financial compensation, etc...)
    Several months later....
    She was frantic... No phone calls or email's coming in to her business...
    I explained to her again how we need to be proactive - offsite & make some onsite changes...
    She finally agreed - charged her minimal to begin further service's
    After about a month into the new campaign & explaining to her some changes we should think about regarding her site - she began screaming at me that it was her site and she wont be told how it should be...
    Asked her not to raise her voice at me... Politely hung up the phone...
    Thinking to myself... "this is not someone I want to continue to do business with..."
    Several days later, I get an email with the heading
    Voodoo, Black Magic, Curses...
    Apparently, it was my bad energy that was ruining her business...
    I happily wrote her back, "The last thing I would ever want to do is have a negative affect on my clients business & with that I will be resigning you as a client"
    She thanked me for my honesty...
    I sent her all the info for the site, to get it out of my account along with the stats since I contributed my "Bad energy to her business"
    which was up 174% since I jumped on it again... (in addition to the fact that I created it from nothing for her...)
    All in all I, do miss having her forward every single email she received from websites & marketers & the hosting account about the domain name change overs that I set up for her without even adding a comment...
    By the way, she is a "Healer"...
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    • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
      Originally Posted by yohanaton View Post

      All in all I, do miss having her forward every single email she received from websites & marketers & the hosting account about the domain name change overs that I set up for her without even adding a comment...
      By the way, she is a "Healer"...
      Ahem, in my professional life I have had lots of dealings with "healers". In fact, I class myself as one too but I am a professionally trained medical practitioner that facilitates the natural healing process

      I think my ex missus would get on well with your client
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  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    From late April...
    Hi, I really like your work; but 100 dollars is to expensive for one article. I never buy one for more than $3.50. Can you lower your prices to that for me?
    I politely reply no. My customer interactions are average.
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  • Profile picture of the author taskemann
    Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso View Post

    Well...

    Obviously it's not #33 - it's just #27453423

    Watch out for the client from hell #666
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  • Profile picture of the author azmanar
    Hi,

    lol ... love this thread. Here's what I can share.

    I just got an offer last week from a known filthy rich bloke ( from hell too ).

    -> 2 domain names = $20
    -> the laziest looking WP design = $50
    -> the cheapest hosting = $10 monthly.
    -> content given by his staff, every bit ( no development from my side )

    Outright stingy and cheap, right?

    Here goes the strange terms :
    1. I create the e-Form
    2. I control the inquiry database
    3. I control the online marketing
    4. For each sale, I get $333
    5. Minimum 5 sales per month

    ... but the marketing cost is on me. Damn cheapskate. Sounds pretty close like CPA.

    But I'm taking it since the product looks solid and promising.
    Great challenge as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author TimGreen1
    Some people these days... They've just got no idea!
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  • Profile picture of the author luane
    I have ONE - count it ONE good offline client. The rest? After I worked my behind off, they paid me for one month and left saying they couldn't afford a monthly fee. Not a good ROI. That is why I LOVE online marketing. As someone said, why would you want 30 or more bosses with your phone ringing off the hook for each of them? ugh!

    Rental sites (if you can rent them) are the best way to go with offline in my opinion.

    I learned after getting bitten, to tell them upfront that I charge for keyword research and have them pay me for that before I ever begin. I found that charging for my time before I began insured I would get paid.

    My one Client? From heaven! Thanks me, gives me roses and appreciates each and every single thing I do for her little website. Now, if I had 30 of HER, I wouldn't mind at all. There are SOME good eggs, but I prefer to stay online!

    Kristie from Georgia
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
      Originally Posted by luane View Post

      Now, if I had 30 of HER, I wouldn't mind at all. There are SOME good eggs, but I prefer to stay online!
      Kristie from Georgia
      Umm... There are something like 310+ Million people in the US.
      Around 10 Million of them live in Georgia.

      Are you saying you can't find a mere 30 clients that you like?

      ****



      ...I dislike threads (and sites) like these. They serve
      no real purpose. Complaining doesn't change anything,
      and collecting complaints together in one place only
      portrays things in a disproportionately negative light.


      This is the Warrior Forum. Speaking poorly about clients
      behind their back is beneath us.
      If you must share these
      stories, take the focus off the situations and put it on
      how to deal with it in a profitable way.


      This is the Warrior Forum. Be a Warrior, not a wuss.

      Signature

      The bartender says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."

      ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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      • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
        Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

        ...I dislike threads (and sites) like these. They serve no real purpose. Complaining doesn't change anything, and collecting complaints together in one place only portrays things in a disproportionately negative light.
        U sure Mike? Cause everytime I read Clients From Hell I don't see any negativity at all - just fun stories of a real, cruel world...

        This is the Warrior Forum. Speaking poorly about clients
        behind their back is beneath us.


        Damn, last time I checked it was funny to talk about my business! And there was a word for it: funny. Guess that's still the word...
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      • ...I dislike threads (and sites) like these. They serve
        no real purpose.


        In your opinion.

        Complaining doesn't change anything

        That's right. Moving on to a more sympatico thread would have been a better option for you. Instead, it sounds like somebody peed in your Wheaties this morning.

        fLufF
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        • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
          Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso View Post

          U sure Mike? Cause everytime I read Clients From Hell I don't see any negativity at all - just fun stories of a real, cruel world...

          Yes, I am sure.


          Originally Posted by Fernando Veloso View Post

          Damn, last time I checked it was funny to talk about my business! And there was a word for it: funny. Guess that's still the word...
          But you are not talking about your business.
          You are talking about your customers behind
          their back. If I tell them what you are doing,
          would they laugh as well? Or would they believe
          it is disrespectful rumor-mongering?




          Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

          ...I dislike threads (and sites) like these. They serve
          no real purpose.


          In your opinion.
          And I am the center of my own Universe. :p



          Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

          Complaining doesn't change anything

          That's right. Moving on to a more sympatico thread would have been a better option for you.
          You did notice that I expressed my "opinion"
          to the people in the thread directly, rather
          than going somewhere else and talking about
          them behind their backs?

          It was no collection of random stories, but
          rather directly addressing what seems to be
          a growing problem.


          Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

          Instead, it sounds like somebody peed in your Wheaties this morning.
          fLufF
          --
          In your opinion.
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          • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
            Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

            But you are not talking about your business
            MY business.
            My potential client.
            MY testimonial.

            Hard to understand, huh?

            You are talking about your customers behind
            their back. If I tell them what you are doing,
            would they laugh as well? Or would they believe
            it is disrespectful rumor-mongering?
            Ohhhh pleeeease...

            I am expressing MY opinion in a public forum, where normal people enjoy discussions about ALL aspects of OUR business - including the BAD ones.

            rumor-mongering... rotflmao

            oh boy...
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            • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
              I just had a bad experience with a client who was told clearly in emails what my business hours are. I don't normally work weekends, not for clients. On weekends I like to do my blog posts, my creative stuff, my own projects, so client work is done Monday to Friday. I figured that as long as I was clear about this and had it in writing, that this would be respected.

              By the way, I do everything in writing, so even if something is discussed on Skype or telephone, I follow up with email, and now I save everything on an external hard-drive! So my butt is covered.

              You see there are some clients, if you let them, who will try to make you look really bad, and they try to slander you, take you to court, threaten you. If you have everything in writing, you're covered. Most of the time.

              I have had my share of "doosies". There were some scary moments, even.

              And that has led me to a decision to completely change my life starting this week. After gently getting guidance from "guardian angels", reading certain books from fellow Warriors, having a bad experience with a recent client that pushed me over the edge, my transformation from a freelancer to a product creator and promoter is a given. I already make a passive income from ad clients, and I get zero problems with them, and they pay me every 3 months, 6 months, yearly...with no stress. Thus, the quest for passive income is addictive.

              I have had a Clickbank account for many years as well as a verified PayPal account. It's time I use all the knowledge I've gained from fellow marketers and I stop trading my very valuable time for money.

              Clients from hell can be a real blessing. They can force you to take a long hard look at your business model, and can make you change what you don't like.

              I personally want thank every single client from hell I've ever had. Because they led me to this moment.

              Here's to our mutual success!

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              • Profile picture of the author Tangycontent
                Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                Clients from hell can be a real blessing. They can force you to take a long hard look at your business model, and can make you change what you don't like.
                Or, you can just fire them and go on with running your business in the most efficient and effective way possible to accomplish your goals.

                Don't suffer fools gladly. Life is too short to tolerate others' issues.
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                • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
                  Originally Posted by Tangycontent View Post

                  Or, you can just fire them and go on with running your business in the most efficient and effective way possible to accomplish your goals.

                  Don't suffer fools gladly. Life is too short to tolerate others' issues.

                  lol, yes, I have done that. After doing this freelance stuff since 1997, I think I'm more than ready for a change.

                  Life is, indeed, too short.

                  That is why I am looking to do something that will give me a lot more time freedom. It is not hard to create passive income. Once about a month's initial work is done, the rest is simply maintenance. There are many blueprints out there to creating passive income, and they've proven time and again to work.

                  I'm done with freelancing. Believe me when I say this, but after making that decision, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
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              • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
                Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                Clients from hell can be a real blessing. They can force you to take a long hard look at your business model, and can make you change what you don't like.
                Kudos Karen. Be proactive abut it and go for it. Here's a resource I love to fit my mind onto business - not peanuts: mixergy.com/ - You can find a skip registration at bottom - although it's a wonderful site/community.

                Here's to our mutual success!
                You can bet on that! Cheers!
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              • I personally want thank every single client from hell I've ever had. Because they led me to this moment.

                Good for you! It's the people who take it and take it and take it and never change their behavior or their responses to crappy people that drive me nuts. You know somebody like this, I bet. They're always poor-little-me.

                I have a friend I've been seeing twice a week for the last three years. It's always someone's done her wrong, usually three or four tales of woe every time we meet. Finally I told her something I heard a long time ago. "Look," I said, "it's simple. People are no damn good."

                The next time we met, she said she'd been thinking about what I said. "You're absolutely right," she said with a big grin. "People are no damn good. And I'm not going to take it any more."

                P.A.N.D.G. I think I'll make it into a bumper sticker.

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                • Profile picture of the author azmanar
                  Hi,

                  I'll share another short-story. I once had a prospect.

                  The first time I met him, he said he just had a minor stroke and he can be forgetful and his reasoning can be faulty sometimes. .. hmm .. Don't really know how to respond and don't know what to expect from that sort of remarks.

                  He wanted a domain name, a simple brochure-like static web site as well as cheap hosting. Fine. Straight forward.

                  I quoted and he accepted it along with the schedule of 5 days.

                  Day One. He called wanting a private member area for his people. Fine. I re-quoted him and he accepted it along with additional days for coding a custom CMS.

                  Day Two, in the morning he called me asking me why the website isn't ready yet. I told him to look at the schedule. He said ...." ooo .. sorry. I forgot ".

                  The same afternoon, he called again asking me why the website isn't ready. Again I adviced him to look at the schedule again. He told me it is taking too long. I told him, we follow the schedule because we cannot fast-forward anything. He said ok.

                  That same night he called again, wanting to know whether or not his site is ready. At this point I lost my patience and don't really want a troublesome client. I politely told him I would see him in the morning and refund his money 100%. He get to keep the domain name as I was the one who cancelled the project.

                  Day 3. We met in the morning and I gave his money back. At the same time he tried to sell me some medical health insurance card .... lol... He said his huge house and other assets were from his insurance and property business. ... blah blah blah.

                  That afternoon he called me again asking why his web site is not completed. He was shouting. Considering that he is a sick man, I didn't respond and just listened. Reminded him that he just got his refund in the morning.

                  In the evening he called me again asking the same thing. Wheww. Got a couple of calls the next day from him but I didn't answer.

                  Then one fine day, I got an email from him. He asked why I cancelled the project. And complained I'm the 3rd person who did that shameful and horrible thing to him.

                  hahahahah ...

                  That day onwards, I decided not to provide web site development services as the core business. Instead, it should be a minor part of a packaged content development and marketing services. That was a good decision.
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              • Profile picture of the author rrm
                Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                I personally want thank every single client from hell I've ever had. Because they led me to this moment.
                And this is one reason why I disagree with some folks who see no good purpose in "talking about clients behind their backs."

                I gotta say that when I first started out in my offline business, I was SOOOO naive. About so many things. I thought that if I gave good, I would get good. I thought that everyone would appreciate and respect my hard work and sound work ethic. I figured that if I gave more than I promised, surely they would gladly give me what I asked for, especially if they agreed to do so. Yeah, for real, good clients are abundant and most of the people I deal with are honorable. But others... not so much.

                So, in that spirit, I believe threads like these can serve up a warning to those who might be so naive like I was when I first started out, to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. I wished I had not been so naive then, especially in considering some of the more embarrassing episodes. In a very real way, Karen's quote is most appropo. It's smart to work smart and to have realistic expectations when dealing with others in the business world. It's not about being cynical. It's about understanding human nature so that we are not smacked upside the head when the clients from hell show up. And they WILL show up. That's the law of attraction for business: you have a business, you get some weirdos . To that end, threads such as this serve at least this purpose for me.

                Now of course these personal accounts, well, they're as entertaining as heck, when I need something a little lighter. And besides, jerk-off clients who stab us in the back deserve nothing less than a little fun at their expense behind their backs.

                One I will quickly recall is that of a trainee in a class I did, who promised, promised and promised again to pay at a later date (class was supposed to be prepaid, but she poor-mouthed). I even gave her half off. After several weeks, then months, still no payment. She finally came up with a couple of novel ways to make good on her promise: first she said that I could go to the state capital and ask the good folks at child enforcement if they could take my part out of her child support check. When that did not fly, she wanted to fax me a check...

                Ron
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                • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
                  Originally Posted by azmanar View Post

                  Then one fine day, I got an email from him. He asked why I cancelled the project. And complained I'm the 3rd person who did that shameful and horrible thing to him.
                  Guess by now the list is longer - wanna bet?

                  Originally Posted by rrm View Post

                  When that did not fly, she wanted to fax me a check...
                  Thats a new one! People can be so creative it hurts :p
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        • Profile picture of the author VanessaB
          Client sends email, "I need help with PLR blogs. I need 70 of them in the embarrising problems niches."

          Client provides a list of 40 'problems'

          Quote price, (50% off regular price of $17- $8.50 each for ordering in bulk)client pays deposit, then sends a list of 85 domain names!

          :confused:

          Ask, repeatedly over the course of a week for clarification, client keeps referring us to the list of 85 domain names...

          Get her on a Skype voice call.... she says, "Oh, I want you to do those other ones too, because my VA screwed them up."

          Client then asks us to tell her how many sites to have on each hosting account, recommend a hosting service to her, and...

          Set up the new hosting
          Log in to GoDaddy
          Point all 85 domain names to 3 different hosting accounts
          Go to each of the 3 different hosting accounts and set up all the addon domain names.

          Finally, we're able to start building the blogs.... we show her the first set, and we get an email...

          "I remembered that you said you flip blogs, I hope they won't be my niches with my articles"

          (Lady, do you even know what the PLR you asked for, means!?)

          I respond, informing her that you don't 'flip' PLR, but as it is PLR, it will be sold to other people...

          Now we get another email, asking us if we will do traffic generation for her... I speak to her about this on Skype, where she proceeds to tell me:

          These sites shouldn't be hard to get traffic for
          They aren't that competitive-

          Asked her who taught her how to gauge competition, (niches like breast enhancement, penis enlargement, butt enhnancement... nooooo not competitive at all right? ) and she told me she 'looked on Google and there are only a few affiliate sites promoting these products.

          (facepalm).... I show her the actual number of competing sites, and she says, "but people still secretly buy these products."

          She really thinks the people buying in 'secrecy' means that it's a big secret that people buy them, and therefore, no other marketers must know that people secretly buy these products....

          But this gets better!

          Next, she starts complaining about the headers, telling us exactly what images she wants portrayed to 'reflect the niche.' I explained again, that these are PLR, we keep the headers abstract because our customers are going to change them to make them more unique.

          Finally, we get all 70 done, plus a few more on her 'extras' list, and I speak to her on Skype. She complains about the headers, again, and then starts pushing me to start traffic generation on Monday, (this was a Friday.)

          So I tell her, "ok, well can't send traffic to 70 blogs at once, we can only handle maybe 5 a week, so we'll change out headers as we start sending traffic to the blogs."

          She accepts this, I send final invoice.

          The next day, I get a LIST of FORTY sites that she has complaints about...

          The complaints:

          Header isn't the best for this niche
          Not found when searched in Google
          And one complaint about one of our plugins pulling in unrelated content... a bug we didn't know about, but would have corrected...

          Seriously?

          So I reply, reminding this batsh*t crazy b***h,

          PLR
          Offered to change the headers AS we did the traffic gen,
          Asked exactly what 'not found in a Google search' means? How did she search... was she just searching the broad keyword in Google and expecting these sites (less than 3 weeks old, with that kind of competition, to be on p.1 or was she searching to see if the sites had been indexed...

          Told her that at this point, I wasn't comfortable with the idea of doing her traffic generation because after the order for PLR and then the question about us not selling them to others, the conversations about the headers, and the complaints about not being found in Google on sites that are highly competitive niches and less than 3 weeks old, I think her expectations are completely unrealistic.

          Her response was to 'cancel the project,' and still not answer why she complained about the headers when we went offered to change them and make them custom for her as we started sending traffic, or what she meant by 'not found in a Google search.'

          I emailed her back and told her that was fine, but a refund would not be acceptable because we gave her exactly what she requested, and more, plus all that work of setting up her hosting, pointing her domain names, adding them to her hosting accounts, etc... not to mention the ridiculous amount of time I had to spend with her on Skype calls explaining the right way to gauge competition, laying out traffic generation plans for her... etc.

          The next day, she sends another idiotic email, "Would grateful for my refund..." [sic].

          Like I never said that a refund would not be acceptable. She got over 70 blogs, built and installed, plus all that VA type work, plus all that consulting, for $748! That's about $9.00 per blog, built and installed, all her VA work done, and consulting too!!!!

          She also added: "I didn't cancel because of traffic. I know that it takes about 3 weeks for these sites to show up in Google."

          First, Google is only ONE WAY to get traffic, with this kind of competition it's going to take longer than 3 weeks, and it's the HARDEST traffic to get! If you canceled because you don't have Google rankings, you canceled because you expected PLR sites, 3 weeks old, for $8.50 each to come with Google SE rankings which IS traffic!

          So I finally replied that we would give her a partial refund, with us keeping about half of it for the additional work that was not part of the sale, like the VA work of pointing setting up her hosting, pointing them to nameservers, doing all the addons in the hosting accounts, plus 3 hours of phone consultations. I also told her that she would need to remove every one of our sites from her hosting at her own expense before we would issue any refund.

          She replied that she owed us 'nothing' and opened a PayPal dispute.

          In her dispute, she claimed that the sites had been removed from her servers. They hadn't. I took screen shots of every one of them, with the time stamp on them, uploaded them to Google docs, and replied to PayPal, with a link to a page that had all the links to all the images of the sites that had not been removed, and offered the same thing I offered in the email. Partial refund.

          She replied that we owed her $600... basically giving us about $148 for all that 'additional work,' and again claimed the sites had been taken down, never addressing the PROOF that they were still up.

          At first, I thought she had just been given some really, really bad misinformation, but after seeing the 'act,' over and over again, I realized she is just a thief, 'pretending' to be stupid to get away with it when she screws people over.

          My partner was fed up with her, and even if we won the PayPal dispute, she probably would have just done a chargeback and we would have lost on that anyway, so he refunded the $600, but....

          I sent DMCA notices to all 3 of her hosting accounts where she was still hosting MY content, which she was now STEALING because she hadn't paid for it.

          I sent a letter to Amazon about her using content she STOLE from me to promote their products

          And, she also has/had several domain names that are infringing on other people's TM's. I notified GoDaddy about those, and I will eventually notify the TM holders too.

          The next day, all her sites were down.

          And now, we'll sell those blogs, with 'her' niches about 50 other people.

          -Dani
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          • In your opinion.

            Yes. Because I am the Empress of All I Survey.

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          • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
            Originally Posted by DanielleS View Post

            .....

            And now, we'll sell those blogs, with 'her' niches about 50 other people
            Dani, heck of a story! Damn!! Guess you'll remind that one for a long time!
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  • Profile picture of the author abbs
    Oh dear, I could write pages on clients from hell.


    Arguably the most frustrating employer I have worked for hired me for a writing project, and ended up assigning all sorts of random work for me, saying he would pay me.

    I agreed to do it initially since it wasn't too much work, and it was when I was new to the field and I didn't want to compromise on my profile rating. He kept assigning more and more work, and when I asked him about payment rates, he himself set a rate of $2 per hour (WTH?!).

    To top things off, he continually undervalued the amount of time I was putting into the work he was assigning. I put up with it for quite a while before I gave him two weeks notice and disappeared soon after.

    Over time as a freelancer, I have learned how to only work with employers who are from heaven, or at least somewhere in between
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  • Profile picture of the author Victoralexon
    Don't tell me you declined that super great offer?
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      yup, I think we can all share stories about clients from hell. The thing with them is this: You're self-employed. You don't have to take on a client like that. Walk away, even if they offer you double what you normally charge.

      Walk away and don't look back. Just like the OP did.
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  • Profile picture of the author YourProfessional
    I have had a few customers from hell.

    The worst? A client who thought he was a design guru...

    We did a business card for him, after the original design was sent, there were 10 emails back and forth calculating to 10 changes...

    By the time we got to the 10th page, it was back to the original design.

    When I saw that was the same original design , I showed him where his revisions lead to: and he just LAUGHED AT ME.

    Grr!

    My next favourite is a lady who wanted to sell high-quality custom bags and position herself as a coutre designer...

    But then she wanted the rabbit **** she sold, to be placed on half the website.... anywho. Happily refunded her money and asked her to find an idiot who will do it for her...
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by YourProfessional View Post

      By the time we got to the 10th page, it was back to the original design.
      Thats why he booked you - to keep that original aspect untouched I bet other Warriors have similar stories on customers trying to get hold of projects and keep things as they were : bad ideas.

      lol
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      • Profile picture of the author craftziner
        Originally Posted by Rick Britton View Post

        I said to her "would you refuse to pay the dentist for an emergency extraction?"
        Yes, maybe leave the tooth with the dentist as a collateral? :p


        Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

        But you are not talking about your business.
        You are talking about your customers behind
        their back. If I tell them what you are doing,
        would they laugh as well? Or would they believe
        it is disrespectful rumor-mongering?
        Mike, agreed. But hope you know that this happens in every place where business happens. There is a coffee lounge in every company where people love to talk about things they hate. That includes customers, their own managers, HR & company policies and sometimes wives and partners - the list could go on. You need to vent it out sometimes.

        Besides, a cheapskate NEEDS TO BE TOLD that he/she is acting like one, or they would go ahead and make somebody else's life miserable, probably one of their own customers, and still not realize. I've just read through all the posts in this thread. No names are given here, just examples of what it is like to have bad business. This is only going to help. Success stories are aplenty to read in the Warrior Forum anyways.
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  • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
    My worst client from hell was the husband of a lady whose computer I'd sorted out a couple of times. Came the time when she needed a new computer and had ordered broadband for the first time. She asked me to come over, set up the new computer, copy all the content across from the old one, install a load of software and set up her broadband.

    For the first time her husband was there. He scowled at me as he left for a tennis lesson, saying pointedly "I don't expect Carol will still be here when I return".

    An hour later he returned to find me still there. He was not pleased. He started pacing up and down saying loudly "This is ridiculous. I can't have Carol here on an open ended cheque........". I decided that, as he wasn't my client, I would just ignore him unless instructed otherwise by his wife.

    A while later she came to see how I was doing - closely followed by him. They started pushing each other around, with him exclaiming loudly "don't you push me around". Again I ignored them. Completed the job. Checked the broadband was working ok and that the phone was working ok. Then left. Usually I take time to explain to people about the broadband filters and making sure they aren't unplugged, etc. I made an exception in his case! He paid and I left.

    Next day I get an angst phone call. The broadband isn't working and cuts off everytime the phone rings. "Did you change anything" I asked. He tried to assure me he hadn't - then added "well I found a stray lead on the floor so I plugged it in". Sighhhhhhh

    "I can't come round today (I lied) and I can't come tomorrow as my car is due to go into the garage to be serviced (true)".

    "I'll come and collect you" he said. He then drove all the way from a nearby town, collected me. I sorted out the almighty mess he'd made by unplugging nearly all the connections and making a complete pig's ear of the whole installation.

    He paid me again and then drove me home. By which time we were, in his eyes, bosom pals.

    I've haven't seen or heard from him (or her) again!
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    • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
      Originally Posted by rosetrees View Post

      He paid me again and then drove me home. By which time we were, in his eyes, bosom pals.
      Sometimes people need to hit the wall to understand they we wrong in first place - and truth be told we have some of those customers.

      But it's hard to educate someone NOT willing to learn...
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