Critique my squeez page please

by petkanov

Posted: 13 years ago 18 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

Do you guys think this squeeze page will convert well? I haven't completely set the aweber yet, but would like to know your opinions if there is a decent chance for it to perform?

the site is: New Fat Loss Secret - Dr. Suzanne Gudakunst

#critique #page #squeez

petkanov 13 years ago

should I keep the video on the right or get rid of it?
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- larry1113 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by petkanov
  
  should I keep the video on the right or get rid of it?
  
  mmm in general, the less trimmings a squeeze page has the better. So I'd get rid of all the graphics, etc. Those you can show on the sales page.
  
  Also you want your optin form to be above the fold meaning as soon as someone comes to your page they can see the optin form.
  
  Finally, since this is a squeeze page I wouldn't have so much info here.
  
  Just a compelling headline + 3 benefits and your optin.
  
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JanRuehling 13 years ago

I find it way to noisy ... why do you use so many colors?

Try to make it simpler and tell the visitor what you want from him ...

Signup above fold ... Headline ... 3 bullets ... sounds solid for me ...

And maybe you could even get rid of the header ... a simple graphic in the content is more than enough!
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Jim Stone 13 years ago

Petkanov.

Conversion-wise, I think there's way too much content on this page. And the headline is very clumsy.

However, I would need to know how you are getting traffic to this page before I would advise you to pare back the content too much. If you're trying to rank in the search engines, or get a high quality score for PPC, you'll need more content on the page.

If you're not concerned with quality score or SEO, then I would test a much simpler version of this page, as Jan said.
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Tenzho 13 years ago

Too much content on your squeeze page.
A squeeze page should have a Good Headline, bullet points, call-to-action

Try split-testing your current squeeze page with a simpler squeeze page.
See which one converts better.
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ProAffiliate01 13 years ago

I think for a squeeze page the mount of graphics is minimal enough. That's a good thing. I say keep the video as it is kind of cute. I would suggest perhaps a slightly darker background color-something other than white-that matches your site.
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inspiredguy 13 years ago

I agree - too much content on the page and the font seems a little small.
The credit card analogy only distracted me from wanting to lose weight and now I'm worried about my finances. Also, the part about poop and crap is just disgusting. Get rid of that.

Finally, if the author is really a doctor, try to leverage that:
"... after years of practice and hundreds of patients she discovered something amazing..." or something along those lines.

-Karl
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Ryan Donrew 13 years ago

well.. i cant say much about your content and arrangement but your logo design is pretty bad, my point of view is that visualization sells and sells well! at the end people buy what ever looks good, same way goes when you dress well people will visualize you differently.

so i made this logo to help you out abit with your image enjoy and take care buddy.

transparent background
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Certitude 13 years ago

I think with this squeeze page less is definitely more.

There is way too much content on that page and I find that form of video very annoying. I would use a regular video and move the opt-in box up the page.
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Sitestomp 13 years ago

Form needs to be above the fold for sure. That's probably the main glaring issue that I saw. Whenever you create a "squeeze" page you need to keep it as simple as possible so the user isn't distracted. When you present too much text or too many options, people will leave.
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Jim Nariel 13 years ago

Hi Petkanov

All good advise above however

In summary the way you need to structure your squeeze page is

1. The biggest thing - A huge Headline packed full of benefits. Instead of "Lose The Weight" maybe "lose weight fast and feel like a million dollars". Focus on what it may feel like for them if they do lose the weight eg. "feel like the new person you want to be"

2. The next biggest thing is very punchy bullet points. These should punch home each top benefit you are providing with your free course. It looks like you are giving something away that is quite valuable. So punch it up and keep it brief

3. Your Optin page - very important to have this above the fold so there it is fully clear what you want them to do. Also dont use "submit" for the submit button . Use something like "Yes Give Me My FREE Course NOW"

Hope this helps and good luck!
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joven 13 years ago

Hello Petkanov,
Great name! Yes, you have a very professional squeeze page. I think it will convert. Anybody who is looking for weight loss product will definitely put their name on the opt in form. And with the video with the lady speaking. You have a great shot of making money! Did you do that yourself? Or did a web designer did it for you?
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- mikeyman120 13 years ago
  
  Nowadays I like to keep the optin and bullet points above the fold but for a while I was a fan of longer squeeze pages like yours. That said overall is is a great looking squeeze page. You did one heck of a job with it.
  
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paul nicholls 13 years ago

the page has way too much text

if its a squeeze page you want then you need to trim this down by about 98%

all you need is a

good headline

maybe a sub headline

opt in box above the fold

bullets

good call to action with text

keep the woman they work really usually

and lastly split test a lot

you may find things that you think wouldnt work well but do

paul
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cdl512 13 years ago

You are going to run in to several problems with your page. First it is way too thin. People don't use 800x600 any more and 1024x768 is getting old as well. The min. width should be 960 px. Second, if you are going to say the lady in the picture is a doctor she better be and she should have a name. Your headline is poor, you are all over the map with cliche's and you have not given anyone a reason to sign up for the 3 day course. You have only done 1/2 the work so far. What are you going to test this against? Just because "best practices" say you should have your opt in above the fold does not mean you will not get better results below the fold.
That being said you also need to work on your copy writing. You need to make sure your language is compliant with guidelines because that is an easy way to loose commissions.
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- Birdi 13 years ago
  
  so here is my 2 cents :
  
  1. get your optin above the fold
  
  2. your headline needs to be to the point theres to much in there at the moment
  
  3. you need to sell the benefits of your free give away
  
  4. a clear call to action
  
  5. an optin bait image of your free product giveaway ( test this)
  
  currently you have to much content on the page, if the object is to get the users email, thats what the squeeze page should do.
  
  hope this helps.
  
  birdi
  
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stevet563 13 years ago

You only have a few seconds to get people
to decide whether or not they should stay on your
page and look at what you got.

I like the intro girl. Cute blond. Good.

Top secret Fat loss secret. hmmm. Should have a brief case with hand cuffs.

Who's your target market?

The Headline is bad.

The purpose of a headline is to keep people reading further. Should have the main point of what's in it for them. It's too long. Shorten it. Bold the font and use red. Fewer words the better.

in the top left corner your should have an intro into the headline in smaller font and highleted in yellow asking a question maybe that's on your prospects minds.

You must use the power of attraction marketing to attract to you what you want.

I can help you make a beautiful capture page that speaks directly to your target market in their language.

Pm me and I'll be more than happy to help.
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petkanov 13 years ago

Thank you all for your feedback. I will create another landing page using your advice, and will split test both of them. As soon as I have it ready, will post it for feedback!
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