Lack of overall drive, People drive me nuts!

39 replies
Recently I have really been bothered by the amount of people that surround me that are "settlers". These people complain all the time about being unhappy, lack of money, government, etc but they never do a thing to change the situation. I just dont understand that thought process, "I really could use more money...Oh well". The reason I started IM was to change my situation, I needed more money so I took action and made a change. People are always looking for the easy way or handouts(free money).

Work hard, stop making excuses and change your life. With one life to live, wouldnt you want to make the best out of it?

My rant is over, I will do my part to encourage people to take action and hopefully make the light bulb turn on.
#drive #lack #nuts #people
  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    You know that you choose the type of people you associate with, right? Easy fix for your rant: surround yourself with new, better people.
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    • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
      Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

      Easy fix for your rant: surround yourself with new, better people.
      That's it in a nutshell. Can't give better advice, so will just agree.
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    • Profile picture of the author keithotzkie
      Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

      You know that you choose the type of people you associate with, right? Easy fix for your rant: surround yourself with new, better people.
      Yep.. I totally agree on that..
      Its just as simple as that to fix it.. haha..
      Thumbs up!
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    • Profile picture of the author Nick Barton
      Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

      You know that you choose the type of people you associate with, right? Easy fix for your rant: surround yourself with new, better people.
      Easy said but I really don't want to cut myself off from all my family, and sadly it tends to be your nearest and dearest that are the worst offenders...
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      • Profile picture of the author contemplate
        [QUOTE=Nick Barton;6404953]Easy said but I really don't want to cut myself off from all my family, and sadly it tends to be your nearest and dearest that are the worst offenders...]

        I think all the people who have stressed the importance of associating with positive people are 100% right. To quickly meet one's objectives a supportive group/individual is extremely important.

        However, Nick, I think you also hit the nail on the head. Many of the worst offenders are your nearest and dearest to question your motives, ambitions and mission in life. Now that is the difficult part, and the difficulty increases or decreases according to how strong willed you are. The more compassion, kindness and patient you are with people the more better you will be in communicating your message and less difficulty you will tend to have. In the end, you might not win everyone over to your way of thinking, however, you will still gain their respect.

        This way you, have shown to be a better human being, both to your self and others, and a force for good. In the process you were able to learn and develop so many other precious qualities that can be transfered to any area of your business and life.

        All the people who have said, cut negative people off, I do respect and understand where they are coming from, however, in my honest and humble opinion they have missed something very precious, and overlooked this very point. How could that ever be seen as a positive thing to do? And if you carry on doing that, what you are really doing is throwing this very opportunity down the gutter, instead of viewing it as an opportunity to inspire and encourage others to think and do better with their life, people and their concerns are seen as problems. Moreover, developing qualities such as patience, compassion and communication skills will only help strengthen our own character as a person, in the journey of life.

        Is it any surprise then, why so many marital relationships have gone sour and divorce is on the increase?

        Spouses not talking to each, siblings not talking to their parents for many months and even years having gone by, or to each other and so and so forth. Where did the love, compassion and patience go? we have started to treat human relationships as we treat objects, disposable cups and saucers. Is it any wonder then our society is breaking down if not, already broken? Life has it's up and down and everyone can live for him/herself. However, there is something noble and precious to live for others also. When children see this compassion and love in one's communication, they become better for it. They grow up becoming better human beings and better parents. They learn from you consciously as well as unconsciously how to go the extra mile and kindness pays in more ways than one. They will learn not to throw the towel in quickly, but, to stand ground and win people over by love and compassion. It can be done, however, you've got to have the heart to do it.




        Please forgive me if any offence is taken by any one, that was not my intention.

        kind Regards
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  • Profile picture of the author mlord10
    Yeah it can be quite frustrating...most people are not happy with their lives, but simply won't do what is necessary to change things.

    I graduated college about 3 years ago, and while all of my friends & classmates were complaining about not being able to get jobs, I went out and "made my own career" with internet marketing.

    It can be done, but only by those that refuse to settle...
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  • Profile picture of the author Devin X
    Banned
    Nah, I hear what you're saying but you will learn to eventually focus on just you and what you can do to better yourself, your family, and your situation. It's selfish...but everyone's selfish.

    It's not as easy as just "surrounding yourself with better people", but if you stay focused you'll manage. Just don't let other people step on your toes or drag you down. Be stubborn.

    As you progress you'll meet more people that share your values and such, build the relationships with those people. It's certainly not easy, but keep truckin' and you'll be fine.
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  • Profile picture of the author fedor50
    Originally Posted by PorterSummers View Post

    Recently I have really been bothered by the amount of people that surround me that are "settlers". These people complain all the time about being unhappy, lack of money, government, etc but they never do a thing to change the situation. I just dont understand that thought process, "I really could use more money...Oh well". The reason I started IM was to change my situation, I needed more money so I took action and made a change. People are always looking for the easy way or handouts(free money).

    Work hard, stop making excuses and change your life. With one life to live, wouldnt you want to make the best out of it?

    My rant is over, I will do my part to encourage people to take action and hopefully make the light bulb turn on.
    great post many people need to hear rants like this.where there's a will there's a way
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  • Profile picture of the author superrooster
    The important thing is that you don't allow that negativity to effect you. The last thing I wrote on my blog was just about this type of thing and it was putting me in a negative state. Choose to stand above it and be an example of something uncommon.

    You will not be able to change those who will nothing for themselves. Don't waste your energy on those who don't want it. You may want better for them, but unless they desire better, anything you say or give to them will be taken lightly.
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    • Profile picture of the author emarion1114
      Originally Posted by superrooster View Post

      The important thing is that you don't allow that negativity to effect you. The last thing I wrote on my blog was just about this type of thing and it was putting me in a negative state. Choose to stand above it and be an example of something uncommon.

      You will not be able to change those who will nothing for themselves. Don't waste your energy on those who don't want it. You may want better for them, but unless they desire better, anything you say or give to them will be taken lightly.
      I agree. You can't waste time and energy helping people who doesn't want to help themselves in the first place.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lori Kelly
    If you are around people like this for any length of time, you'll notice they pull you down. In fact, they want you to be as miserable as they are. Misery loves company.

    A friend of mine was working with me until a few months ago. Their family is broke. A bunch of kids, low income, really struggling. She's a great person with a wonderful attitude. But she doesn't want to do anything to change her financial situation. I don't talk to her much anymore. An occasional email.

    As a contrast, I have a relative who is very intelligent and driven (like me ) and I thoroughly enjoy talking to her and it's almost like a jolt of electric energy. Those are the types of people I will surround myself with. The ones who are encouraging and reaching for the stars.
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  • Profile picture of the author dannn1
    If some people are genuinely happy and content where they are and don't need the traditional markers of success and happiness (like a lot of money and material possessions) then more power to them...

    If people who are lacking in these areas (life situation and money possessio) complain and do nothing to ameliorate where their situation, I have little patience to deal with them.

    On the other hand, if they complain about life but truly want to better themselves and their surroundings and at the same time take positive steps towards that end, then I think thats alright.

    No one is perfect and no one can ever be perfect, but if you try to better yourself in some way as opposed to complaining and blaming everything around you, you are on the right track.
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    • Profile picture of the author PorterSummers
      Originally Posted by dannn1 View Post

      If some people are genuinely happy and content where they are and don't need the traditional markers of success and happiness (like a lot of money and material possessions) then more power to them...

      If people who are lacking in these areas (life situation and money possessio) complain and do nothing to ameliorate where their situation, I have little patience to deal with them.

      On the other hand, if they complain about life but truly want to better themselves and their surroundings and at the same time take positive steps towards that end, then I think thats alright.

      No one is perfect and no one can ever be perfect, but if you try to better yourself in some way as opposed to complaining and blaming everything around you, you are on the right track.
      I feel the same way. If someone is truly happy about making minimum wage, more power to them. It's just the complainers that bother me. They b*tch and complain all the time and act like nothing can be done. I deal with this daily with my co workers and some friends. At work, everyone complains about how crappy business is but nothing is ever done about it. No advertising or updated appearance, they just expect customers to walk through the door for some reason.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jacqueline Smith
    Try feeling sorry for them instead of letting them frustrate you. Their lack of action is their loss, not yours. By continuing to do what you do without letting them get you down, you may actually end up being a role model for them.
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    • Profile picture of the author PorterSummers
      Originally Posted by Jacqueline Smith View Post

      Try feeling sorry for them instead of letting them frustrate you. Their lack of action is their loss, not yours. By continuing to do what you do without letting them get you down, you may actually end up being a role model for them.
      Well, in the past parts of my family were critical of my success. I try and educate them that IM is a great way to make a living, but they say it probably is illegal and if I really want to make a lot of money I need to start my own brick and mortar biz or be a lawyer or something.

      As aggravating as it is, I will continue to keep smiling and keep moving forward while I slowly educate the non believers.
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  • Profile picture of the author olavlind
    The worst thing about it is that they can't even understand, much less accept that other people think and act differently than they are.

    And when all your friends, your wife and your kids all think and do the same, it's pretty hard to keep on keeping on.

    But I still keep going...one day...soon...closer each day...

    ~Olav
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  • Profile picture of the author Cali16
    Originally Posted by PorterSummers View Post

    Recently I have really been bothered by the amount of people that surround me that are "settlers".
    It seems a bit ironic to me that you claim that you don't like to be around people who complain, yet that is exactly what you are doing here. Just sayin'.... :rolleyes:
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    • Profile picture of the author PorterSummers
      Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

      It seems a bit ironic to me that you claim that you don't like to be around people who complain, yet that is exactly what you are doing here. Just sayin'.... :rolleyes:
      Wow, you seemed to have missed the point.
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      • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

        It seems a bit ironic to me that you claim that you don't like to be around people who complain, yet that is exactly what you are doing here. Just sayin'.... :rolleyes:
        Originally Posted by PorterSummers View Post

        Wow, you seemed to have missed the point.

        It seems you missed her point that would solve your problem, actually. Not every path to self improvement is going to be lined with people coddling your ego.

        Take a good look at yourself. Perhaps your attitude is attracting these people you seem to dislike so much.
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        • Profile picture of the author Cali16
          Thanks, Joe! (Tried to "thank" you, but for some reason, it's not showing...)

          To the OP; I got your point, but you clearly failed to see mine. You state that you are tired of being surrounded by people complaining about different things, and that they don't take action (in your opinion) to change their situation. (Actually, many of them have probably tried to change things many times over, and failed, and gotten very discouraged - even really good, well-intentioned, motivated people get stuck - really stuck. I'm glad that hasn't happened to you, but perhaps rather than harshly judging them you could try being a little more compassionate - especially since you probably never know the whole story. It's always easy to judge when you're an outside observer and not walking in their shoes.)

          But, the irony I was pointing out is that YOU are complaining - "ranting" (your own word) - about a situation here. But, what are YOU doing to change it - after all, isn't "action" the solution you are saying everyone who's driving you nuts should take? Ranting about it here accomplishes nothing at all, really. There's only been a gazillion and one threads, posts, and lectures on this forum about "taking action". In that regard, your post contributed nothing of real value - except giving you an opportunity to vent (which, kind of makes you like the people you are complaining about).

          So, why don't you take your own advice and:

          1) Stop spending time with the type of people who drive you nuts (as Joe wisely pointed out, there's a reason they are "surrounding you"... OR

          2) Be the bigger person and help them in some way, whether it's with words of encouragement (wow, what a concept!), or suggesting a few ideas that might help them change their situation, or offering to help one or two of them directly (since you've already had success with what you are doing).

          If you expect others to be part of the solution, and you are complaining, then heed your own advice and stop ranting, and do something to change the situation (keeping in mind, of course, that ultimately you can't change other people - but you don't have to allow toxic people to influence you or "drive you nuts" - the choice is yours.)

          Hope my earlier comment is much clearer now.
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          • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
            I wouldn't spend any amount of time trying to change a person even if it's for the good.

            Aside from the fact that it's usually impossible to achieve, you shouldn't take the liberty to do so and a person should always be willing to change themselves. They might take a few steps towards the light but usually nothing more.

            Like relationships between partners, you sometimes don't realize how stale a circumstance actually is until you change the circumstance. Quite often severing ties with someone you might assume to only have a small negative impact upon yourself can often result in you realizing how much of a burden they are when you remove them from your life.

            Don't waste time on a waster. Even speaking on a "virtual" level with people who have their minds in the right place i.e the majority of people on the WF can have more of a positive power on the mind than having the physical company of a negative person.


            Daniel
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          • Profile picture of the author PorterSummers
            Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

            Thanks, Joe! (Tried to "thank" you, but for some reason, it's not showing...)

            To the OP; I got your point, but you clearly failed to see mine. You state that you are tired of being surrounded by people complaining about different things, and that they don't take action (in your opinion) to change their situation. (Actually, many of them have probably tried to change things many times over, and failed, and gotten very discouraged - even really good, well-intentioned, motivated people get stuck - really stuck. I'm glad that hasn't happened to you, but perhaps rather than harshly judging them you could try being a little more compassionate - especially since you probably never know the whole story. It's always easy to judge when you're an outside observer and not walking in their shoes.)

            But, the irony I was pointing out is that YOU are complaining - "ranting" (your own word) - about a situation here. But, what are YOU doing to change it - after all, isn't "action" the solution you are saying everyone who's driving you nuts should take? Ranting about it here accomplishes nothing at all, really. There's only been a gazillion and one threads, posts, and lectures on this forum about "taking action". In that regard, your post contributed nothing of real value - except giving you an opportunity to vent (which, kind of makes you like the people you are complaining about).

            So, why don't you take your own advice and:

            1) Stop spending time with the type of people who drive you nuts (as Joe wisely pointed out, there's a reason they are "surrounding you"... OR

            2) Be the bigger person and help them in some way, whether it's with words of encouragement (wow, what a concept!), or suggesting a few ideas that might help them change their situation, or offering to help one or two of them directly (since you've already had success with what you are doing).

            If you expect others to be part of the solution, and you are complaining, then heed your own advice and stop ranting, and do something to change the situation (keeping in mind, of course, that ultimately you can't change other people - but you don't have to allow toxic people to influence you or "drive you nuts" - the choice is yours.)

            Hope my earlier comment is much clearer now.
            I understand what you're saying, I just wish I could do more to help these people in my life. My frustration is more on my part, wish I could do more.

            Well my ultimate goal of building a Fortune 500 company is still in the works. When I achieve this, I will hire all these people at a salary of no less than $145,000 a year, plus benefits.
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            • Profile picture of the author Toplink
              Originally Posted by PorterSummers View Post

              I understand what you're saying, I just wish I could do more to help these people in my life. My frustration is more on my part, wish I could do more.

              Well my ultimate goal of building a Fortune 500 company is still in the works. When I achieve this, I will hire all these people at a salary of no less than $145,000 a year, plus benefits.

              Make yourself successful and rich. Then you will be in a position to help them. We all want to help others. It makes us feel good.

              I help others now through charity work.

              For family members, who cannot be changed into smart, 'driven' business people, I'll create businesses that they can safely manage or help them cretae the kind of bsinesses they want. Later......

              But to do all of that, I need to be successful first. So I make sure i mix with plenty of other successful people, even if I have to pay huge amounts to join their coaching programs! It works. It rubs off.
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    • Profile picture of the author contemplate
      Originally Posted by Cali16

      It seems a bit ironic to me that you claim that you don't like to be around people who complain, yet that is exactly what you are doing here. Just sayin'.... :rolleyes:
      Cali16, It is funny, if true. However, PorterSummers, on the other hand, I think could also be making an observation which is different from complaining. There is clear difference. Just my thoughts.

      Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author Brian Tayler
    This is a fundamental issue for us all. Surround yourself with like-minded "take action" people. Start a local meet-up group if you have to. You'll find changing the people you surround yourself with will help your personal mentality and drive a lot. Always surround yourself with smarter and higher successful people than yourself too. Being the smartest or most successful in a group serves you nothing. You need role models and tangible people to look up to. To give yourself personal motives to drive and succeed further. This is one area of business that has drastically changed my personal abilities and thoughts, thus making me more successful.
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  • Profile picture of the author contemplate
    Thank you Brian,

    So true. However, I suppose, it is important to recognise which direction you are going or would like to go. Therefore having a vision is a must before any action can be taken.

    Thanks
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    • Profile picture of the author Cee
      The saying ' Birds of a feather flock together' is very true. As you become more success oriented you will start to have less in common with those you formerly associated with. It's the reason that rich people hang out together. Your mind is opening up to new possibilities that not everyone has the ability to see. Some people also really like complaining and wouldn't know what to do if they had nothing to complain about.
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      • Profile picture of the author contemplate
        [QUOTE=Cee;The saying ' Birds of a feather flock together' is very true. As you become more success oriented you will start to have less in common with those you formerly associated with. It's the reason that rich people hang out together. Your mind is opening up to new possibilities that not everyone has the ability to see. Some people also really like complaining and wouldn't know what to do if they had nothing to complain about.]


        Cee, you are so right, the more success you have and I would say in any calling you will begin to naturally, dissociate from your previous realtionships slowly but, surely. This might not be intentional on your part and I think one shouldn't completely cut people off who are negative or who have a different opinion to yourself. The reason, because it gives one opportunity to encourage others to have a better vision of themselves. You can only do this if you engage with others.


        The easy thing, to do is to cut people off, not associate with them. I understand, one shouldn't actively seek a negative company, which I can agree with. But, it is very probable that you had friendship and associations with the very people that you now dislike/detest. Just because, you have seen the light and are much more positive in your life than they are, still, should not mean you cut off your relationship with them completely.

        Your humanity, your kindness should be used to overlook peoples faults and weaknesses because, that was you yesterday. Moreover, as I stated above one should use this opportunity, whenever, you meet/engage with people to inspire, encourage elevate their thinking in becoming much better human beings and successful all round. One of the prophetic saying states, that even giving good advice or counselling is regarded as charity in the sight
        of God Almighty( Praise to him for everything, Lord of All the worlds without Partner/Associates)

        Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author contemplate
    [QUOTE=PorterSummers;Recently I have really been bothered by the amount of people that surround me that are "settlers". These people complain all the time about being unhappy, lack of money, government, etc but they never do a thing to change the situation. I just dont understand that thought process, "I really could use more money...Oh well". The reason I started IM was to change my situation, I needed more money so I took action and made a change. People are always looking for the easy way or handouts(free money).

    Work hard, stop making excuses and change your life. With one life to live, wouldnt you want to make the best out of it?

    My rant is over, I will do my part to encourage people to take action and hopefully make the light bulb turn on.]


    PorterSummers,


    I think you have made an important observation. I think as people we are weak and it does, tend to be easier to complain then to sit back and assess your life which direction is it heading and if you are not happy, to try and change it for the better. I do think one of the problems is not having a vision,a desire for better, Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author funkynassau
    It took me years, more than I care to admit to, to realize the negativity I grew up with in my family was holding me down, holding me back. Sometimes you just cant see the forest for the trees, that's exactly where I was. Low self esteem, feeling unworthy of anything good ever happening to me or for me...I really did have that "lightbulb moment" when I realized I was better than all that and just as good as the next person, and yeah, I can do something with my life, rather than sit back and watch it go on around me, with almost no participation. I get that this sounds weird, but that's how I was.

    I have worked hard to change my thinking and have made big strides, but there's still more to do. With my husband, we have three small businesses, two are quite successful, the other one is brand new and hasnt been around long enough to be a success, but I believe it will be.

    It's easy to say hang around with better people, but you also have to believe in yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author romanos8
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    I agree if you work hard God will bless your work
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    • Profile picture of the author contemplate
      [QUOTE=romano I agree if you work hard God will bless your work]


      Romano, I agree fully with you. However, I would like to add that the work you are doing also has to be ethical to gain that blessing.But, I agree in principle you are right.

      I have found in general, that people who are quite religious are usually very positive people indeed. I think belief in God in Almighty, gives them that hope, which sadly, because religion is on the decline, one finds people in general, are overcome with negativity.

      Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author sanjx01
    Hey Porter,

    I completely understand where you're coming from. I was in the same place.

    It was so frustrating being around people who weren't willing to take action to change their circumstances.

    I took the hard decision to remove them from my life, and it was one of the best things I've ever done.

    Sometimes you have to let go of what you're holding onto now so you can grab a hold of something better

    It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

    I still keep in contact every now and again, just not as much as I used to.

    Hope that helps!

    ~S
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  • Profile picture of the author KKM017
    Great rant, this is my life's motto in a nutshell! The only way to improve your life is by taking action.

    Somehow, I'm also surrounded by people who settle for anything. I'm a naturally driven person, so it gets really annoying sometimes
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    • Profile picture of the author contemplate
      [QUOTE=KKM017;]Great rant, this is my life's motto in a nutshell! The only way to improve your life is by taking action.

      Somehow, I'm also surrounded by people who settle for anything. I'm a naturally driven person, so it gets really annoying sometimes]

      Hi KKM017,


      Resistance from people although very difficult thing to encounter, and very easy thing to say but, if one looks at it, can be a good thing because, particularly if one views it, as an opportunity to develop within oneself, qualities like patience, communication skills and kindness.

      If one thinks about it, how are these and other qualities developed in an individual if a person just gives in, and enjoys plain sailing in life or just lashes out to those closest person you can find.

      So yes, very easy to say and very difficult to do, however the reward for someone who can achieve this is nothing but, superb and a beautiful character which touches people in a absolutely magnificent way.
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  • Profile picture of the author KevinDahlberg
    My day job is in sales. There are two groups that I work with: the ones that hustle and bring in a crazy commission check, and the ones that are resentful of the ones that hustle. I had dinner last night with the second group and all that happened was complaining. When I spend time with the people in the first group the conversation is about how to make more money.

    I've found that the more time I spend around the people that hustle, the better I get at selling. It also seems that the other areas of my life have gotten better the more time I spend around successful people.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Hugall
    I guess that's why we have places like this to come. As long as we all focus on helping each other and building each other up we should do just fine. They say that if you ad up the net worth of the 5 people closest to you, you will know where yours will. Aside from this I own a construction company and when I hear people bitching and whining all day it bothers me and throws my whole day off. To fix that situation I now where my ipod and listen to some cool music and a lot of motivational tracks. Has changed both of my business for the better.

    As far as you family and friends are concerned. Your family is what it is you can only be a leader and refuse to let conversations drift in that direction. You set the pace for your own life.
    Friends are an easy one. If they are your friends yet they bring you down find new ones.
    Friendships come and go with the changing of your inner self. Drug addicts are told that they need to give up their entire lives and the people in them until they are strong enough to face those people again. If your friends mind states are bringing you down they are as bad as any drug out there. We get one shot at life, and to surround with people who love mediocrity and fascinate themselves with the world that is falling a part around them is doing yourself a great injustice. If they are real friends they will see your path and your intentions and support you. If they won't do that than are you really going to miss them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Toplink
    Originally Posted by PorterSummers View Post

    Recently I have really been bothered by the amount of people that surround me that are "settlers". These people complain all the time about being unhappy, lack of money, government, etc but they never do a thing to change the situation. I just dont understand that thought process, "I really could use more money...Oh well". The reason I started IM was to change my situation, I needed more money so I took action and made a change. People are always looking for the easy way or handouts(free money).

    Work hard, stop making excuses and change your life. With one life to live, wouldnt you want to make the best out of it?

    My rant is over, I will do my part to encourage people to take action and hopefully make the light bulb turn on.

    A very familiar situation for entrepreneurs to find themseves in. Those who succeed actually get off their ass and do stuff. Not just talk about it.

    Don't try to help them. They are 'non believers'. They think everything is someone esle's fault, and the World owes them a living.

    They will never change. Just surround yourself with people who are positive and actually achieve things.

    P.S. I joined a number of high end coaching programs to get amongst the right mind set. And even people there can be the same. I'm often asked how I get so much done. Because I do!

    I don't sit around talking about it or checking out every conceivable angle first. If it looks good and feels good, I do it. Some things don't work out sure, but 80% do. The rest are still sitting at the starting line.........talking about starting........ Annoys the crap out of me too

    Move on. Leave them behind.......

    Reply rant over
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