There are MANY of them - the problem can only be that you're not looking to pay properly for it - otherwise you should have no problem at all.

Are you ready to pay $x,xxx+ for it? I find it rare the SEO service that isn't just e-mail based.

People who are awesome at SEO tend to be making a lot of money already, so they are either not available for hire, or cost a lot of money. I approached over 1000 SEO companies/freelancers to hire for my company, and they were either awful or excessively expensive.

You either need to have an awesome business idea and do an equity share with a marketing expert, or learn SEO yourself and outsource tasks on an individual basis and/or train a team.

Why not learn it yourself? The topic isn't difficult to learn. You'll be saving yourself thousands of dollars, and, in the long-run, such knowledge would only benefit your future ventures.

On-page SEO should be a must-know nowadays; off-page SEO can be outsourced.

You can try in the SEO section or you can also to hire warriors if you are willing to pay some. You can hire warriors in warrior for hire section.

The reason is the SEO field has taken a big hit in the last year with panda and penguin , im pretty sure the majority of ppl dont even know what they are doing.

I think it's very easy to find someone to outsource your SEO...

Just use these websites, there's a lot of SEO providers there...
1. Odesk
2. Freelancer
3. Elance

What part of SEO are you talking about in regards to?

Onpage optimization? Content creation? Link-building? Social Networking? Technical auditing?

I'm being extremely vague here. Depending on where you are at in the living cycle of your website, you might have different needs. I really hate sounding vague, but there are SEO's who are willing to work.

Or maybe I'm just the only SEO that just works.