Butchering the English Language for Fun and Profit

29 replies
When reading are you the internets, find you as you may people who English not very well do they write. Inclined may you be to think people such as those are not smartest bulbs in the packaging. Hard to believe how anywhere in life can they get with language skills of such quality poor. Surprised then be you may when find you do that they more money than you do make.

You see, there are multiple types of people who butcher the English language. You might assume that they are all morons, but that assumption may be wrong 66% of the time. There are three types of people that butcher the English language.

1) Those that do so to make a point.

2) Those that have not yet mastered the language.

3) Those that are lazy and/or stupid.

Them thar peeps in that grouping first, well, we'll just done figure they know wut dey doin', eh?

As for the second group, usually these are the people learning English as a second (or third or fourth) language. They might not have mastery of the language yet, but they continually try to improve themselves, especially if they have need to speak or write in English frequently.

English is not always the easiest language to learn. Many other languages have more rigid structure to them than does English. Sentences are more consistently constructed a certain way. Thus, people used to expressing themselves in such a manner do so in English as well, and end up with writing that seems a lot more rigid and less natural to a native English speaker.

Having not yet mastered the English language does not mean the person is stupid, only that they have not yet mastered English. If someone had earned ten university degrees, possessed a good grasp of how business, physics or any number of things worked, and could do complex math in his head, would you say that person is a moron simply because he is still learning the English language?

These people could be making more money than you, so the fact they don't have as good a grip on the English language as you may does not make them stupid and irredeemable.

Then, there's that third group. These are the people too lazy or stupid to even both using the English language correctly. You'll occasionally see some of these people pop up as critics of others. "YOu aIn'T sHoUld bEiNg nO rIteR. LoL." Or, sometimes, they'll market themselves as writers. "Good articuls by me writen original, all so, lo lo price at 1$ articul per. Contact me fer yur qality content needings."

These people don't view the proper use of language as being particularly important. They assume that if other people can figure out what they're saying, that's good enough. No matter that the other people develop a throbbing headache while trying to decipher whatever it was they tried to write. Good enough is good enuff, and 'nuffs nuff and no better need no when peeps understanding just fine like.

Some of these are native English speakers too. Others are not. The thing they have in common is that they just don't care.

So, who is the dumb one? The one learning English, still trying to master the language, or the one who grew up with the language but never bothered to learn it properly, settling for "good 'nuff" and doesn't particular care to try to improve?

Likely too, that third group are the people that can't tell the difference between a $5 article and a $500 article because good enough is "good 'nuff" and anything more than that is just money down the drain.

Until Google comes along and smacks the heck out of those $5 articles and then people are left scrambling trying to figure out what to do now, while the $500 article buyers are sitting pretty, but I digress...

So, if youse wants to be making the monies as a writer, that there latter group you need pay no never mind to, because they just ain't your customer. Let the writers who write "good 'nuff" done take care of the buyers who buy "good 'nuff" because them's two peas in a pod, and you don't want no pea shooters. You want the people that recognize a $500 article as a bargain because they know how to get a good ROI out of it.

At any rate, there's a good chance that the people you think are stupid because they cannot yet write in English "good 'nuff" or because they pay $500 for an article are making bank. And, if you're unwilling to try to understand them because you're stuck on thinking they're too stupid to teach you anything, well, who would be the stupid one in that matchup?
#butchering #english #fun #language #profit
  • Profile picture of the author AnitaCross
    I don't think it's too hard to tell the difference between those who think good enough is "good 'nuff" and those who's first language isn't English. The rigid structure of their sentences, which you pointed out, is a dead giveaway.

    I prefer the first group. I accept the second. And I ignore the third.

    Loved the post, btw.
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    • Profile picture of the author sanssecret
      Originally Posted by AnitaCross View Post

      I don't think it's too hard to tell the difference between those who think good enough is "good 'nuff" and those who's first language isn't English. The rigid structure of their sentences, which you pointed out, is a dead giveaway.

      I prefer the first group. I accept the second. And I ignore the third.

      Loved the post, btw.
      I'll consider myself accepted then.

      Born and raised in England and still learning the language. Of course, life would be so much easier if the rest of you would all just talk proper like what I do. :p
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  • Dandelion, there is so many folks out there what don't understand why they cain't make any dadgum money and all you gots to do is look at their writin abiliby!

    Now I ain't makin fun of them folks cause they ain't all got a higher education like ole Thad. I gradiated from the sixth grade and not all folks is as discombobulated as me!

    "Good articuls by me writen original, all so, lo lo price at 1$ articul per. Contact me fer yur qality content needings."
    What's wrong with that? Now that there is some mighty purty writin!

    Not all folks can be great writers like, say, Alexa Smith! Heck, not only is she a dadgum good writer, she is purtier than a mess of fried catfish! Talk about lookin good nekkid, I shore do but that ain't got nothin to do with Alexa!

    Bein a good writer can shore make you or break you when it comes to online income. If you cain't write or you ain't real good at English like ole Thad, HIRE somebody to do the writin for you!

    I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a 25 gallon bucket full of porcupines with PMS than make fun of folks but dadburnit, if you is gonna make money online, make shore you make your information negligable!
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    • Profile picture of the author AnitaCross
      Originally Posted by sanssecret View Post

      Originally Posted by AnitaCross View Post

      I don't think it's too hard to tell the difference between those who think good enough is "good 'nuff" and those who's first language isn't English. The rigid structure of their sentences, which you pointed out, is a dead giveaway.

      I prefer the first group. I accept the second. And I ignore the third.

      Loved the post, btw.
      I'll consider myself accepted then.

      Born and raised in England and still learning the language. Of course, life would be so much easier if the rest of you would all just talk proper like what I do. :p
      I heartily disagree!

      I've seen your writing, and it's not butchered enough to make this list. In fact, it's not butchered at all!

      Truth be told, though, your Geordie accent does shine through whatever you write.
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  • Profile picture of the author samjaynz
    Laughing now am I... (Yoda was the KING of butchering the English language)

    People need to be more flexible with language anyway. As long as you can get your point across that's all that really matters.

    I would rather read a really informative article by someone for whom English is a second language, than wade through "perfect" yet bland writing by a trained English writer.
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    • So, what's your point? :p

      I wouldn't consider someone "stupid" for not being competent in English, but I would have reservations about them if they can't understand that this forum ( metaphorically and literally speaking) is dominated by English speaking customers, so to be truly competitive, you need to be proficient in English, or else be relegated to second or third tier status.
      Some of the grammar on these SEO forum is painful to read, and and reeks of a "me too" type mindset where they think that just because they can string a few words together in English that they are capable of conveying a point, or writing ad copy ( or being competitive).

      I may applaud their enthusiasm, but lament their application of it.
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by Blame It On The Caffeine View Post

        So, what's your point? :p

        I wouldn't consider someone "stupid" for not being competent in English, but I would have reservations about them if they can't understand that this forum ( metaphorically and literally speaking) is dominated by English speaking customers, so to be truly competitive, you need to be proficient in English, or else be relegated to second or third tier status.
        Some of the grammar on these SEO forum is painful to read, and and reeks of a "me too" type mindset where they think that just because they can string a few words together in English that they are capable of conveying a point, or writing ad copy ( or being competitive).

        I may applaud their enthusiasm, but lament their application of it.
        Shouldn't that be some of the grammar on these SEO forums or some of the grammar on this SEO forum?

        I don't mean to be picky, but it just seems to me if someone is going to be lamenting someone's improper grammar, the one doing the lamenting ought to use proper grammar during their lamentation.

        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
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          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          I don't mean to be picky, but it just seems to me if someone is going to be lamenting someone's improper grammar, the one doing the lamenting ought to use proper grammar during their lamentation.

          Terra
          Exactly Terra! Lol

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        • Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          Shouldn't that be some of the grammar on these SEO forums or some of the grammar on this SEO forum?

          I don't mean to be picky, but it just seems to me if someone is going to be lamenting someone's improper grammar, the one doing the lamenting ought to use proper grammar during their lamentation.

          Terra
          Mea culpa. You quoted me before I caught it.

          Although, in my defense, I say that it hardly qualifies as "butchering" - which was the original topic.





          edited to add:

          I actually feel a compliment is in order Miss K.

          In the 2 or 3 hours I was here reading and doing research today, your writing clearly stood out from the rest. While reflecting on the lack of polish in a lot of my writing, I made a mental note to read some of your writing as an inspiration, before I wrote my own articles. So, thank you.
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          • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
            Originally Posted by Blame It On The Caffeine View Post

            Mea culpa. You quoted me before I caught it.

            Although, in my defense, I say that it hardly qualifies as "butchering" - which was the original topic.





            edited to add:

            I actually feel a compliment is in order Miss K.

            In the 2 or 3 hours I was here reading and doing research today, your writing clearly stood out from the rest. While reflecting on the lack of polish in a lot of my writing, I made a mental note to read some of your writing as an inspiration, before I wrote my own articles. So, thank you.
            Aw shucks!

            I appreciate the compliment and you're very welcome. I'm glad to know that I have in some way inspired someone in their writing. It makes posting here even more enjoyable.

            I'd also like to add that I'm happy that you saw that my comment was in good fun. That speaks volumes about your character.

            I wish you well in all of your writing endeavors.

            Terra
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            • Profile picture of the author zerofill
              I speak Donlish... I don't see people speaking my language correctly either. But I just keep my mouth shut about it. Just let them go on butchering Donlish... Even though it irritates me, I just bite my tongue.
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    • Profile picture of the author cjreynolds
      Originally Posted by samjaynz View Post

      Laughing now am I... (Yoda was the KING of butchering the English language)

      People need to be more flexible with language anyway. As long as you can get your point across that's all that really matters.

      I would rather read a really informative article by someone for whom English is a second language, than wade through "perfect" yet bland writing by a trained English writer.
      Yeah, in a perfect world this would be true

      and in a perfect world you could dress and talk any way you wanted in an interview and ace the interview regardless

      and in a perfect world good, informative sales copy would make more sales than hype every time.

      Need I go on? It may largely depend on the niche, but my guess is that any niche made up of mostly english-speaking people are going to be biased toward marketers who write english well. Fair or not, it's the landscape we work in.
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  • Profile picture of the author onSubie
    It really isn't only the language. I mean I can make a pretty good understanding of most things- although I admit a few posts are very baffling. What is more annoying are those posts that are very well composed and clearly written but posted all in one big block of text with very little or no punctuation to help the reader discern any kind of sense from the words. I find that I tend to try and read then get lost then gloss over and skip many posts that are very long and all one block of text. Better to break the text up into shorter paragraphs and sentences so those wf members reading your post have an easier time understanding what you are saying as opposed to looking at a whole pile of prose that runs in a long and unpunctuated manner. And it's not just me as I have seen other warriors comment on this practice in other threads. Although I wouldn't endorse a carriage return after every sentence,

    a little breathing room,

    goes a long way.

    Mahlon
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  • Profile picture of the author RyanLeonard
    Point made! Excellent post mate
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  • Profile picture of the author tpw
    I know I am smarter than my neighbor's duck!!

    And, I also know that my neighbor's duck don't speak English that good either...

    Just saying... LOL
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    • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
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      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      I know I am smarter than my neighbor's duck!!

      And, I also know that my neighbor's duck don't speak English that good either...

      Just saying... LOL
      What you don't know is that the neighbor's duck graduated medical school at the top of his class and has been trying to warn you about a life threatening condition. But since you keep making fun of him because he only speaks in quacks, the message hasn't gotten through to you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Formal Shorts
      Originally Posted by tpw View Post

      I know I am smarter than my neighbor's duck!!

      And, I also know that my neighbor's duck don't speak English that good either...

      Just saying... LOL
      I know a duck that would echo this sentiment, but he's genetically unqualified
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  • Profile picture of the author Josh Lobley
    I can imagine people would think I was dumb if I couldn't speak their language.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
      Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

      Who gives a duck.
      That would be Bill.

      Although, now that I think of it, he didn't quite pronounce it that way.
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      • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
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        Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post

        That would be Bill.

        Although, now that I think of it, he didn't quite pronounce it that way.

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      • Profile picture of the author ShayB
        Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post

        That would be Bill.

        Although, now that I think of it, he didn't quite pronounce it that way.
        Speech impediments will be discussed in another thread.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    I agree with your points.

    However as a native English speaker that actually speaks another language 99% + of every day, sometimes I feel stupid because I'm not "fluent". I "butcher" this language every day but try to do my best.

    So I can relate to those that aren't perfect but who are trying. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that the English isn't up to snuff and they have as much chance selling something in English as I have of getting drafted by the NBA. But I can relate to the struggle.

    On the other hand (from another post I made):

    I once read in a book by John Maxwell the story of a company who had hired a new salesman. It goes something like this.

    They sent him off to Chicago to sell the company's product and he was to send in a written report every day. His manager (who also hired him) was astonished when he got the written report. It said "I just finshed sailing the product and they rellly liked it. The said they want to by a milun dolars of it. Tomorrw I will go to New Yark and see if they want to buy any of them".

    The manager couldn't believe it. He had hired an idiot. He was torn on what to do though because his new salesman had just sold a million dollars' worth of product. But at the same time he couldn't let this illiterate keep working there.

    So he decided to explain to the CEO that he had made a mistake and let him make the decision.

    The next day the manager was astounded again when there was a big written note on the bulletin board from the CEO. It said "it has come to my attynshun that we've been spending too much time worring about speling and not enough time worring about sayling. We need to sayle more!"
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  • Profile picture of the author jivens
    Banned
    A lot of my clients can't speak good English. That's why I write for them obviously lol. However, they're still very intelligent and can make me look like a dumbo half of the time
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  • Profile picture of the author Martin Pupke
    I think the problem of this "$5 article" era is that people from non-english countries have just about enough English skills to grind these out whilst having very little employment options otherwise.

    However the people writing these articles that are competent writing in English are just looking for shortcuts or do not understand just how much better spent their time could be.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Chung
    I'd also like to add one qualifier people like to use to separate 'good' from 'bad' English writers, and that's whether or not they're a 'native' English speaker.

    I see bad, bad teachers getting great English teaching jobs in Thailand simply because they are a 'native English speaker' with the right skin tone, while native Thais with excellent English get passed over.

    I'm sure there are some great writers out there with excellent wordsmithing skills that get overlooked because they've got the wrong passport.

    I understand why we do it though. It's a bias that's accurate a lot of the time. The majority of people living in an English-speaking country will speak English better than people living in a country that does not use English. But dagnabbit, it ain't necessarily so!

    So please try to judge writers by their actual writing when you can, not by where they happened to have been born.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fraggler
    What about the ones who can speak and write quite well, dazzling their phrases with all sorts of fancy, yet they still fail to communicate with their audience?
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by Fraggler View Post

      What about the ones who can speak and write quite well, dazzling their phrases with all sorts of fancy, yet they still fail to communicate with their audience?

      You mean we are supposed to communicate a message to our readers through this communication channel called writing? Say it isn't so?

      Keyword, keyword, click here to buy my keyword.
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