My very first Website! - feedback please - | Warrior Forum - The #1 Digital Marketing Forum & Marketplace

16 years ago

Your banner is a bit hard on the eyes. You could ask someone to proof read the English, as it has some errors (not many) and you don't say how successful the target website has made you or if it has substantially helped you.

Kind regards

Brian

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Aronya 16 years ago

Bruce,
I agree that the banner should be changed - it's hard to read. Also, I'm guessing those are coins in the graphic? Try to find an image that is more obvious. You don't want to have people spending time focusing on your banner.

Your story doesn't go anywhere. Your sentences run on and on (and on...) when they should be short and concise. Keep paragraphs short & easy to read. There is a difference between "your" and "you're". "311,000,000 million" is three hundred eleven million *million*, not three hundred eleven million, etc. You have a good first draft, but you need to do some serious work on the copy.

Your pic becomes distracting when you mention that you've been in the Netherlands for "over 20 years now", because the statement suggests you're a bit older - maybe 30+ - and the pic looks like you're 20. I'd suggest either using a different image or changing the 20 years comment.

Do the letters ACN stand for something, or is that the full name? You really don't give any info about the company. The titles to the videos look to be the same, and don't seem to have anything to do with making money.

Hope that helps. I'm not trying to be negative; just pointing out some things to consider.

Tim
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thegadgetblogger

16 years ago

Hey! Good site in general, again, I'd say the header banner needs looking at and maybe some more eye catching graphics down the page to promote the parts you want people to read.

I'm a professional designer but starting to offer my services on the web. Luckily for you I need to get a portfolio together so would be willing to give you some free help if you want it? Nothing too time consuming as I've got loads on but some small graphics here and there won't hurt! I don't mean any offense, just offering free help if you want it!

PM me for more info.

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meldave

16 years ago

I'm with Hackbrigde on the banner, you really have to focus to read it. Otherwise than that the layout is pretty good.

David

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rapidscc 16 years ago

banner improvement also bring in more white space, text cant breathe...
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- AtticusBaker 16 years ago
  
  The site looks good in terms of content. The addition of multi-media is a plus. However, your web-banner is a bit hard to read. Try going with something a little less gold-colored and maybe try a blockier or sans serif font. Looking good, though!
  
  Thanks
  
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artwebster

16 years ago

Presumably you want an honest opinion and you have had some already but, really, this is not a very good start, is it?

The header graphic is awful and the elements are too small.

The text is presented as though it has been poured from a bucket in order to fill the available space and the grammar and punctuation are terrible. The very first sentence(?):-

If you are looking for a way to generate over €10.000,- or may it be $10.000,- or even £10.000 cash a month, then you've came to the right place, already 1,625,994,524 billion people are using the internet and spending over $1,820,000,000 billion a day, 311,000,000 million searches a month on Google just for "Work at Home", and those numbers are just increasing by the seconds! Jump into this money stream and grab your piece now, it's all up to you!
Source: Worldometers - real time world statistics

lost me because it rambles like some demented fly in a jam jar.

Wouldn't:-

If you are looking for a way to generate over $10.000 a month, you've come to the right place!

1,625,994,524 people are using the internet to search for things to buy and spending over $1,820,000,000 a day!

311,000,000 searches are made each month on Google just for "Work at Home" and that number just keeps increasing!

Learn how to dip into this money stream and grab your share now!

sound and look better?

You have certainly got to lose those 'billions' and 'millions' after your values, otherwise you are squareing the quantity and over-gilding the lilly.

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Owen Mailer

16 years ago

same as the other warriors banners hard on the eyes and aom spacing would make it easier to read
but well done keep it up!!

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Glenn72

16 years ago

Apart from the banner I think it looks fine. You've kept it simple and easy to read which is good.

One thing that struck me, I'm not familiar with George Zalucki, but at first glance I thought it was Colonel Sanders!

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hotlinkz 16 years ago

Please accept this critique in the spirit in which it is given...

I agree with others, the header is a bit of a strain and the copy needs to be cleaned up.

Your bio information would probably work better on an About Me page. Trust me, your visitors will primarily be concerned with what's in it for them.

The focus sort of gets lost near the end of your site. Not sure if you are promoting George Zalucki or MoreMoney365. As it stands, you are going lose a lot of visitors to George's website.

One last concern. Have you checked with the MoreMoney365 folks regarding your domain name. If MoreMoney365 is trademarked, you may get a request to cease and desist. (Been there - done that !)

Re-work it and never give up!

Best regards,

Calvin
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ashok121

16 years ago

nice website look background nice design

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marktheonlinesurfer

16 years ago

I'm also going you honest feedback which I hope is constructive and can help you improve and therefore succeed.

I would change the font and design of the website. It looks way too amateurish and because of the niche you are in, some might get the impression it is a get-rich scheme. The website lacks credibility in it's presentation.

You can hire a web designer for a resaonable price on this forum, who can help you put together a compelling and user-friendly website.

Also I feel like your call of action is not clear. If I were you, I would set up a squeeze page where you can capture e-mail addresses, start a building a list. You need to decide what you are trying to achieve.

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prashie91

16 years ago

really bad...

1) learn the art of paragraphing or i guarantee you will lose your viewers.

2) get rid of the banner at the top of your site. replace it with a headline which will
actually grab the attention of your visitors for the right reason.

3) ignore the people who are saying that the site looks good... they obviously don't know what they are talking about.

4) SERIOUSLY get someone to proofread the website. the grammar is poor. your sentences are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. just take a look at your opening sentence. it took 5 lines before you put the exclamation mark! how can someone not go breathless reading that?!?!

you should, at minimum, work on improving these aspects. PM me if you want anymore
help.

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waken

16 years ago

one page website? I guess this is your landing page.. then...

The claim is too bold to start with...
There is some punctuation error on the first paragraph...
Too many irrelevant links..make it only one link on the page ...
Too many stories that doesn't link one another...
Too shallow info about the content of the membership..
Try to detailed every section inside...
Show how it has help you with proof..

And one thing about the banner..
You don't even need that!

Cheers!
Waken

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antmen 16 years ago

Hey Bruce,

I threw something together for you real quick... it's a template for you to use. All I did was take some of the color theme of your target page and the text area panel's style.

Go here to preview and download it... on the house!
MoreMoney365 INFO - Make More Money NOW! *
* This is not an affiliate link, just a link to preview the template I made in action... once there, you can download a ZIP of the entire template - I included CSS files and photoshop files.

I'm not really a graphic artist - I'm a voiceover artist - but I just happen to know how to put things together.

Enjoy!

-Anthony
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OmarMartin

16 years ago

Hi Bruce,

To be honest, this isn't bad for a FIRST website. My first website looked like hammered dog crap!

I highly recommend that you use the template antmen made for you and also grab a copy of Kick Ass Sales Pages.

Send me an email or a private message and I'll give you the download link for free.

Regards,
Omar

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carolwingert

16 years ago

I agree, the banner needs changed. And I don't care for the background. Maybe something less "fancy".

Needs shorter paragraphs. It might just be me, but long paragraphs lose me.

Get a photo with you smiling. Makes you more friendly!

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Loren Woirhaye

16 years ago

Lose the wallpaper. Go with a solid color. Black is good.

Your headline is nearly impossible to read. Use a regular
font. Aerial, Verdana, Impact are good for headlines.

Your story goes from promising money to visitors to telling
all about you. People do like to learn about who they are
doing business with, but you should focus on one thing
at a time and put the bio/personal development stuff on
an "about me" page. Believe me, if your main page copy is
at all compelling people will want to read your bio.

My "about me" pages always get a surprisingly high amount
of clicks. People like that stuff.

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Brett Kruger

16 years ago

Not bad for first site.

You really have to change the header though.

Maybe a few more paragraphs or bullet points.

Don't give up though.

You've gotta start somewhere.

Cheers

Brett.

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Bruce Hammond

16 years ago

Thanks for all the great feedback, this I can work with.

When I'm done, I'll create another thread about it and also put a link here to that new thread. So keep watching this post daily! (Hint: FREE & Ebook)

Made screenshots of the "old" website, so you can compare the difference and learn from them.

- Bruce

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