First self made product and first self made sales page -- HELP

5 replies
Hi, so I have finally ventured into making my own product and my own sales page. I've never done this before obviously, so I was hoping to get the advice of some seasoned veterans.

Background of the product:
Its a dating advice book aimed at a geek or fandom demographic. It deals with awkwardness, bad habits etc. I am not a copy writer and I often notice really long sales pages. Not sure what I should be doing about that or if its natural or intentional. Anyway, I would REALLY appreciate you looking at my site and giving me a few pointers. I even have an upsell page that people are taken to when they click that they want to order.

Also, if my pricing may need critiquing too, so feel free to chime in. Thanks in advance.

The site is Untitled Page
#made #page #product #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Bill Hugall
    Seems pretty clean. Good call to action. I am not sure about the upskirt of the cartoon girl but hey I guess some people dig that. I liked it. The sales copy was compelling and you have an opt-in. I would create a second and promote it at the same time for testing. Maybe do a clean more traditional one and see if your new style page converts better than tried tested and true methods. Good luck those are just my 2 cents.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Espino
      Overall impression - Great job for this being your first salespage!

      I would:

      1. Reduce how wide the text goes. (maybe make a new table within the existing table and keep the width of the text to about 700 pixels) It is challenging to read a page that requires the eye to scroll across, back and forth. This is especially true when seeing the page on a mobile device.

      2. I can see how the graphics would appeal to your particular fandom / nerd / fantasy demographic - maybe add a few more within the body of the text to give the eye more places to stop and possibly read.

      3. The text should be broken up by "sub headlines" which will draw the eye back to the page. Imagine that the casual reader is kinda bored and needs something to bring them back to the sales copy.

      4. Reduce the size of the "Dating 4 Nerds" headline at the top and of the eBook graphic toward the bottom. Both are way too big and draw the eye unnecessarily.

      5. I would use bullet points to help draw the eye within the sales copy and to highlight key "problems" that they have and then key "solutions" that your eBook provides.

      Overall, this is a great start!

      Dave
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  • Profile picture of the author higakun
    Awesome. Thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author Big Al
    IMHO and I'm not a copywriter so take this with a pitch of salt and just test stuff.

    I think it's great you have a story but I think you could build a bigger problem at the beginning to identify your market. While I don't really know your market I do know a girl who's into anime? and all her friends are too... I can see how that might resonate with them.

    If you have any proof (even if it's a picture of you with a pretty girl) that would help back up your promise. Make your offer as big and irresistible as you can so the whole deal becomes a no brainer.

    The biggest think for me is that I think there is a disconnect between the first page and the second page where you immediately offer them an upgrade. Not sure, but I'd experiment with just using all the extra products and selling them as a bonus to make the pack look bigger and better value for money.

    You could sell the whole lot for $17 (or $25) to see what conversions are like with the (real) promise that you'll bump the price later for an added element of urgency. Drive traffic and see what happens. Or take the upgrade part away and use it as a one-time-offer after the initial sale.

    Last... just take everything with a pinch of salt. Install something like the old Google Website Optimizer (now under Google Analytics > Content > Experiments), create a second page and drive traffic. There's no point in waiting, just get results and see what happens. Keep the best performing sales page, ditch the worse one and then create a new one to split test.

    Finally... Google "Perry Belcher Sales Letter" and have a look at his copywriting checklist. It might help with creating a second copy of your sales letter.
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