Internet Marketing and Being a Social Outcast

46 replies
Working from home is excellent and it gives you the opportunity to do a lot of things you would otherwise never have the oppertunity to do BUT sometimes I feel like a social outcast as I don't attend work everyday and meet new people.

To counteract this I try to do most of my work from the local library so that I get out of the house and I also train in an MMA club 4-5 days a week.

Do any of you other full-timers ever feel like a social outcast and what do you do to counteract it?
#internet #marketing #outcast #social
  • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
    The simple fact that we've cast aside traditional working culture makes us statistical "outliers" but I wouldn't go so far as to say "outcast". Even though full time IM'ers do dance to the beat of a different drum, we can adjust pretty well.

    Do they have MeetUps in your area - go to meetup.com. I enjoy attending local wine tasting and theater meetups. Even though we don't share a profession, there's so much more to talk about and I've met some really fun people.
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  • Profile picture of the author simplewriting
    I hit the gym 6 days a week, Go to clubs during the weekends and take my dog on long walks at the beach everyday.

    I was actually a social outcast BEFORE I started working at home. Talking about IM is a really good ice breaker and really opens me up.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michelle Stevens
    Yep same here. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and I run a couple of times a week too.

    At the weekends I make sure I get out and about and meet friends otherwise I start feeling like a hermit
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  • Profile picture of the author RockyRasakith
    Cool dude, I train MMA also and I love internet marketing. I don't ever feel like a social outcast though. I get out there and party sometimes on the weekend with my friends.

    Heck sometimes I think I need to become more of a social outcast so I can get some work done at home lol.

    But you should hang out more with your MMA buddies. Nothing builds a stronger relationship than punching each other in the face or choking each other out.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Foster
    Skype helps. Everyone I know (marketer wise) is on Skype. So I do talk to people all day long. Be it by chat messages or video chat, I'm talking constantly.
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  • Profile picture of the author mlord10
    I get out for lunch just about everyday, as well as play a good amount of golf, including some tournaments at my local club & such.

    I also attend church on Sundays (not just for the purpose of getting out, but it does help to be active in a positive way).
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  • Profile picture of the author Edgar Espinosa
    Going to the gym and hanging out on the weekends has definitely helped me.
    There were times before when I would be home for days without going out.

    Not healthy IMO.

    Now I have a set schedule where I do things accordingly.
    I have time to do everything I need to do AND go out and
    socially interact with people.

    Not to mention I feel a lot better emotionally! It's pretty
    refreshing if you ask me.
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  • Profile picture of the author TrumpiaTim
    Never, stay lively and sociable by still going outside!

    Love meeting new people, lifes an adventure.
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  • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
    You are right. Those that work from home do not have the social interaction as those that go to work at an office, mall, or other public place everyday. If you're single this has an even harsher effect, as most relationships begin by some sort of work related interaction.

    My suggestion is to join Rotary and the Chamber of Commerce. In addition to developing many professional contacts, you will also make many social contacts. Most of these clubs have weekly after hours mixers. It's a bar setting without the sleazy bar people.
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    • You are right. Those that work from home do not have the social interaction as those that go to work at an office, mall, or other public place everyday. If you're single this has an even harsher effect, as most relationships begin by some sort of work related interaction.

      I met my husband in a square dance class. Doesn't everybody meet their future spouse that way?

      Proud introvert and social outcast here. Up until January I had an office outside the home but I felt hemmed in by other people who didn't respect boundaries. The hypnotherapist next door found out I was shipping jewelry from my office and insisted on pushing her way in so she could "shop." My office door was frosted glass -- sometimes I could see her standing on the other side listening to me talk on the phone. So one day I was on the phone with a friend and asked him how I could get rid of this incredibly intrusive woman who just wouldn't leave me alone. She never spoke to me again. Mission accomplished.

      My suggestion is to join Rotary and the Chamber of Commerce.

      I tried that. You know, people don't "get" what I do. I tried explaining but they can't wrap their minds around anything less traditional than a brick-and-mortar business. My business doesn't work at a local level.

      fLufF
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      • Profile picture of the author cjreynolds
        #1 - If your only personal interaction is through the workplace, you don't have a social life.

        #2 - A social life is not for everyone.

        If your job was the only place where you would be coerced sufficiently to interact with others, I suggest that you probably don't really like to interact with others.

        For those who are more socially motivated, you can probably find meetups and activities with people who share your interests if you live in a fairly large city - look in the local newspapers, etc.

        However, as was said before, there is often a boundary between the 9-5'ers and those who work at home. I used to run a programing business from home. nobody I knew had the same schedule (or lack of) that I did. Ya, I could go and do what I wanted, but didn't have anyone who could take the time to do the things I was doing. Even though I may have made more income than them, I was still kinda like the "unemployed guy" in the crowd. It's like if you don't have a 9-5 schedule, you're a bum! It doesn't matter what you do or how much you make, you're still looked down on as the guy with no responsibilities.

        It's a bar setting without the sleazy bar people.
        And just what's wrong with sleazy bar people? We're not hurtin anyone!
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  • Profile picture of the author Adrianne_
    I'm an introvert so IM is a match made in
    heaven for me. Anything I do on the "outside"
    is done with my family.
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    • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
      Originally Posted by Adrianne_ View Post

      I'm an introvert so IM is a match made in
      heaven for me. Anything I do on the "outside"
      is done with my family.
      Adrianne, good for you for spending lots of time on the outside with your family. Don't change that part, just change the rest. Stop being an introvert. Start meeting new people. It will change your business and your inner self for the better. After all, how will you know how beautiful and smart you are if you never meet dumb ugly people?
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      • Profile picture of the author footbag_man
        I go out to bars almost every weekend with my mates so it's not that I am actually in all the..

        I guess I kinda feel that I need to structure and social setting of a 9-5 sometimes.. but I could never go back to it. lol
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      • Profile picture of the author NatalieJ
        Originally Posted by E. Brian Rose View Post

        Adrianne, good for you for spending lots of time on the outside with your family. Don't change that part, just change the rest. Stop being an introvert. Start meeting new people. It will change your business and your inner self for the better. After all, how will you know how beautiful and smart you are if you never meet dumb ugly people?
        I am an extreme introvert and felt more like a social outcast when I had a 8-5 office job. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, and it is not a choice. Introverts are drained by being in groups and crowds. It's exhausting. So we must ration our social activities. I generally needed my lunch hour to 'charge my battery'. Now when I do go out, I am better at interacting because I am rested.

        I belong to a local environmental group and an outdoor recreation group for my socialization. That's enough for me.

        Does IM require social interaction?
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        • Profile picture of the author Adrianne_
          Originally Posted by NatalieJ View Post

          I am an extreme introvert and felt more like a social outcast when I had a 8-5 office job. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, and it is not a choice. Introverts are drained by being in groups and crowds. It's exhausting. So we must ration our social activities. I generally needed my lunch hour to 'charge my battery'. Now when I do go out, I am better at interacting because I am rested.
          Natalie,
          I couldn't have said it better. I worked as a receptionist for
          a very busy company. After dealing with people, face to face,
          all day, I would take my lunch break in my car, in the parking
          garage. This "recharging" gave me just enough energy to get
          through the rest of the day. By the time I got home, I was
          drained like nobody's business. Being introverted is not something
          you can behave your way out of. It is what it is. Instead of
          working against it, I think it's better to work with it.
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        • Profile picture of the author Christopher Fox
          Originally Posted by NatalieJ View Post

          Introverts are drained by being in groups and crowds. It's exhausting. So we must ration our social activities.

          This. Introverts find pleasure in being alone. I must have my alone time. No one else around. Nobody. Except maybe some dogs. I spent several years in the high volume bar/nightclub industry and received a lifetime's fill of social interaction there.

          Perhaps the most enjoyable thing I have ever been paid to do was working as a snowcat operator. An introvert's/ski bum's dream. Show up to work at 11:00 PM, hop in the cat, and spend the next 12 hours all by myself, talking to nobody (except the occasional couple of words uttered over the radio to the other cat drivers to line them out with work).

          I do some of my best work alone and have gone days/weeks without any other human contact - and didn't miss it.

          Most people aren't like this though, so good advice for the normally socialized.

          One thing introverts should practice a bit are their social skills. The bar industry helped me with that, for sure. I can sit down and talk to anyone about anything, regardless of the length of time I have known them, but tend to prefer not to.

          Something that I'm sure us introverts will agree upon is that the relationships we do keep tend to be incredibly special and fulfilling and consider others to dilute the nature of relationships by so casually engaging in them with every Tom, Dick and Harry they come across - seems less genuine. Different strokes for different folks.

          Getting out of the house is good for me, but I tend to seek refuges of solitude when I do (easy to do in Colorado).

          That is one of the appealing aspects of IM - I can do it alone, for the most part. However, like any endeavor, some social contact may be required in IM and introverts need to bite the bullet occasionally and do the unpleasant tasks in life - like making new contacts.
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          • Profile picture of the author Christophe Young
            I do some of my best work alone and have gone days/weeks without any other human contact - and didn't miss it.
            I hear you there. Big introvert myself and working alone is what I do best. It doesn't mean I don't like people or have poor social skills, just LOVE doing independent work. I could sit at home all day with the cat and be perfectly fine with that.

            But, I do need interaction with others occasionally. I've been a member of Toastmasters for the last five years which has helped. Hanging out with friends and doing singles vacations is a blast!

            Some of you above really nailed introversion. It's not a curse, or a bad thing at all but you can't change it either.
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  • Profile picture of the author carlpicot
    I don't really mingle with the people at work much .. in fact ~ I feel very isolated there as my friend is always busy with his job.

    I prefer being at home with my computer and my cat than slaving away hours on end at that place. At least I know that I will reap the rewards at the end and still be alive!

    cheers

    xxxxcarlxxxx
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  • I am such a hermit it is not even funny ever since I got into IM lol. I hate the gym anyway, but I dig an evening beer!
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    • Profile picture of the author Nathan251
      i don't miss the 9-5 too much, i like getting up at whatever time i feel like too much

      it also depends on your work culture, i have worked for both a big multinational and a small local business

      the big multinational was soulless and demoralising, just cubicles of robots slaving away, 600 of us and at the end of 4 years there i knew the names of about 10-15 people there

      i miss the banter of the small local business though, about 10-15 of us there and if you get the right mix there then you can have a great laugh - however one of the guys took it too far at times so it's about balance

      but yes, absolutely make time for outside the house activities

      anyway unless your only friends or social contact were your workmates then you should be ok
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  • Profile picture of the author Big Al
    I think you have to set a routine so you're not glued to the computer screen everyday.

    While the beauty of working online is that you don't have set hours (for the most part) I think having 'working' hours is a good thing.

    And I believe you have to have to get out of the house every day... obviously MMA is the choice of internet marketers

    More recently I've been part of a few online IM groups. While it's only a small amount of interaction and based around 'networking' I think it definitely helps.
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    • Profile picture of the author RockyRasakith
      Originally Posted by Big Al View Post

      obviously MMA is the choice of internet marketers
      You've said it best, Warrior!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris-
    Yes, good idea to get out of the house and do some activities, meet people etc. to have a balance with IM.

    I tend to go to the gym every few days, and in between, go to the mall, read some books in the bookshop, that kind of thing.

    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author jthomason
    I'm going to spend hours upon hours just sitting at the computer anyway, so IM just made sense. I am just getting started, but I think I am finally ready for the long haul instead of just getting annoyed when tiny ideas don't work right away.

    That being said, I volunteer loads of time every week to a local non profit that deals with homelessness and addiction, which means I have interaction with lots of people (most of them decent). I'm not ALLOWED to be a social outcast, as much as I'd love to be
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    • Profile picture of the author Ricky Allen
      Well I find skype great as I can keep in touch with many people but as for working I guess I am a writing workaholic always working on a new release or researching future ones.

      And as I sit in front of my computer naked today and look at my webcam I wonder why I said that last part as it is not reaaly true. Sorry folks but I find having a sense of humor at least I think I have one keeps me sane and not taking things too seriously.

      Serious yes of course but lighten it up sometimes to have an even view of things.

      Ricky Allen
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  • Profile picture of the author Anomalous
    I have to disagree with a previous poster that suggested someone should stop being an introvert.

    Absolutely continue being an introvert. Get the social interaction you feel you need, but never allow yourself to feel as though it is wrong to be introverted.

    The clearest, deepest thought comes fr


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  • Profile picture of the author Anomalous
    Originally Posted by Anomalous

    I have to disagree with a previous poster that suggested someone should stop being an introvert.

    Absolutely continue being an introvert. Get the social interaction you feel you need, but never allow yourself to feel as though it is wrong to be introverted.

    The clearest, deepest thought comes from the individual mind, free of the pressure of group dynamics. Solitude is the best platform for new ideas and unique creativity.

    The world needs more introverts, IMHO.


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    • Profile picture of the author E. Brian Rose
      Originally Posted by Anomalous View Post

      The clearest, deepest thought comes from the individual mind, free of the pressure of group dynamics. Solitude is the best platform for new ideas and unique creativity.
      You should edit that to say that is true for you. It is certainly not true for all.

      The technology revolution did not occur at such a rapid pace because people stayed in solitude. It happened because of the invention of the telephone and faster means of transportation, allowing like minded people to meet up with one another.

      With that being said, I have always thought that most introverts wanted to "come out of their shell". I have read numerous posts on forums, blogs, and even Yahoo Answers from people seeking advice on how to be more of an extrovert. This thread made me realize that there are some that are quite happy with their introvert ways. Good for you... and I mean that! Being happy with yourself is something that few people can brag about, whether introvert or extrovert.
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  • Profile picture of the author Anomalous
    Originally Posted by Anomalous

    I have to disagree with a previous poster that suggested someone should stop being an introvert.

    Absolutely continue being an introvert. Get the social interaction you feel you need, but never allow yourself to feel as though it is wrong to be introverted.

    The clearest, deepest thought comes fr


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  • Profile picture of the author JackieGold
    In addition to some of the ideas already mentioned here, I also try to schedule at least one networking "meeting" (breakfast/lunch/coffee) every week. It gets me out, is enjoyable, and is good for business!
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  • Profile picture of the author michaeljcheney
    I get out on my bike for rides and sometimes attend a meditation group. That and meeting non-IM friends just about keeps me sane.

    And there's the nice by-product of pulling in $6mil+ in the past few years ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Randohm
    I attend college classes and coach a youth sports program I also have my own offline business. IM is only a small part of my life, not my whole life. When I do get into IM for days and weeks at a time I make it a point to connect with someone other than a family member face to face at least once per day. It helps keep me sane.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    I sometimes feel like a social outcast. To counteract it, i go to Olive Garden and get my chicken fettuccini alfredo... my favorite! After that, i'm ready to conversate with everybody.
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    • Profile picture of the author Reno Van Boven
      Originally Posted by Randall Magwood View Post

      I sometimes feel like a social outcast. To counteract it, i go to Olive Garden and get my chicken fettuccini alfredo... my favorite! After that, i'm ready to conversate with everybody.
      I love olive garden! Had dinner there once in Jacksonville, Florida. Are they throughout the States?
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  • Profile picture of the author Anoopchawla
    My advice: Get an office and start working there. It Will make you look like other business owners, also will make your more productive since your family and friends won't be there to interrupt you during your fired up sessions.

    Just my 2 cents
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    • Profile picture of the author Reno Van Boven
      Originally Posted by Anoopchawla View Post

      My advice: Get an office and start working there. It Will make you look like other business owners, also will make your more productive since your family and friends won't be there to interrupt you during your fired up sessions.

      Just my 2 cents
      I tried that, signed a $27,000/year office lease for a 3 year term contract.

      It lasted 2,5 months...

      An expensive lesson to learn.

      I was going nuts working by myself from our country side home. But it was an even bigger pain in the butt, "having" to drive to the office every day

      I love working from home. But, it definitely does require a bigger effort to go out and socialize. Which is not always easy when living in a smaller town.

      Maybe just frequent holidays or organize dinner parties.

      As it's mentioned earlier in this thread, exercise, going to the gym and meeting friends out for dinner/drinks makes a big difference.

      Maybe we could all organize a big Warrior party weekend in Las Vegas?

      Cheers,

      Reno
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  • Profile picture of the author JayParker
    It's just about getting use to this lifestyle, I prefer this than working the 9 to 5. You are your own boss, so I like being an outcast in that way.
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  • Profile picture of the author therichb
    Have been spending my time so far with the meetups community & enjoying it a lot.

    These guys bring new joy whenever they meet & get together as they dont have a reason to meet & we are simply meeting to discuss our ideas / thoughts.

    I would not prefer going for a full time job until i get the same $$$ as I get in my own life schedule where I am busy with IM.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mena Jo
      I've gone from working in the highly sociable world of recruitment (out all day and night smoozing every day of the week), to working on my todd in front of my PC and I love it!

      Do I feel like an outcast? No. If people want to perceive me as such, then that's up to them. I've chosen this work from home lifestyle because, in a few years time, it will actually springboard me into seeing much more of the world and spending more time with the people that matter to me.

      I definitely spend way more time at home now. I barely leave the house during the waking day. My neighbors don't see me going to and from a 'proper job', so they probably think I'm some kind of festering hermit. And what?

      But I still party with my friends at weekends (not every weekend), I attend monthly offline networking events (evenings) and go to my gym classes.

      I may not go out as much I used to, but it doesn't matter because life has a wonderful way of balancing itself out in the end.
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  • I decided to continue working part time instead of full time and went back to College to finish what I started..., having more free time and money feels great! Before it was money and no time or lots of time but no money.. now I can have both!
    Joining the gym and going 2 / 3 times helps get me out the house too..
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    • Profile picture of the author affmemo
      Are there any video marketers here that are introverts as well?
      I ask, because I am not comfortable with having my face on camera. And I see some videos where a voice-over was used instead. - So, basically, I want to know if you've had success using this approach?

      For that matter, I wonder in general, under the Internet Marketing umbrella, what the most ideal business model for introverts is.
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  • Profile picture of the author MrMonetize
    I love been a social outcast if that's what this job is. I hate traffic, buses, trains, bad weather, standing in cues for lunch and alarm clocks. I prefer working in my pyjamas with an expresso first thing in the morning than suffering all that nonsense. I like cycling and walking my dog to get out of the house as well as the usual social activities with my pals, but its a lifestyle choice we all make when we decide to work from home.
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  • Profile picture of the author Benjamin Ehinger
    Originally Posted by footbag_man View Post

    Working from home is excellent and it gives you the opportunity to do a lot of things you would otherwise never have the oppertunity to do BUT sometimes I feel like a social outcast as I don't attend work everyday and meet new people.

    To counteract this I try to do most of my work from the local library so that I get out of the house and I also train in an MMA club 4-5 days a week.

    Do any of you other full-timers ever feel like a social outcast and what do you do to counteract it?
    All the time. My fiance can tell when I haven't gone anywhere all day because I will talk her ear off for hours.

    I joined a Christian church to help with the social side of things. Through bible study, volunteering and a few other activities I at least get some interaction.

    The key is to get out there consistently with some type of group. Even if you just join a bowling league or something simple, it will help.

    Benjamin Ehinger
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  • Profile picture of the author Marcus Rockey
    I worked dam hard to get working from home. It was the long term dream that now is reality. It can be isolating I guess. Having a young family always keeps me busy though. I am there for the school run, to pick up my partner Michelle and do the weekly shop!

    Perfect.

    Marcus
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  • Profile picture of the author ceenote100
    I never been anti-social but I do prefer to work alone.
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