Is it a dog eat dog world?

21 replies
Hi

I enjoy being a member of warrior forum but ive come across other forums where people just seem to want to knock you down completely and really knock what anyone if offering. Including myself ive seen comments on peoples threads that advise them their web designs appalling and they write like a child. I don't think this is at all constructive for anyone but seems to be slightly bullying?

I do agree that people have their own opinions and if they seek advice surely its polite to be encouraging and nice to users who are putting themselves out there? Not expecting to be ripped to shreds.

I understand its all competition out there but when you see threads where people aren't even in the same industry and knock them down.

The forum i wont name but its not WF. I just wanted to know why people would use a forum to knock people and not provide any helpful information what so ever?

Its a struggle for companies to get themselves known but knocking someone when their down isnt so great. Should be healthy competition all the time.
#business #dog #eat #marketing #world
  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milkbone underwear." - Norm Peterson on Cheers
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    • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
      You can't let it bother you.

      This kind of behavior happens in all aspects of life, not just IM.

      There are a lot of good people who will do their best to help you, and a lot of idiots who will do their best to tear you down.

      It's a personal problem of their own, don't let it affect you.
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  • Profile picture of the author talfighel
    Thank god that I never came across forums that have members that put you down. All of the forums that I visited in the past few years have all been helpful and their members are top notch people who have almost the same goals and dreams like me.

    Kind of like a mastermind group that share the same values and have the same common cause and that is to earn money online and be free.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Originally Posted by Litherland View Post

    I enjoy being a member of warrior forum but ive come across other forums where people just seem to want to knock you down completely and really knock what anyone if offering. Including myself ive seen comments on peoples threads that advise them their web designs appalling and they write like a child. I don't think this is at all constructive for anyone but seems to be slightly bullying?

    I do agree that people have their own opinions and if they seek advice surely its polite to be encouraging and nice to users who are putting themselves out there? Not expecting to be ripped to shreds.
    It may be polite to be nice and encouraging, but it isn't always helpful. Sometimes the web design is appalling and the writer does write like a child.

    Patting them on the head and telling them "good job" like they are children might make them feel better, but it won't advance them.

    One thing I do try to keep in mind is that there is a real human being on the other end of the thread. There is a difference between blunt honesty and pure meanness. Unless they really make an ass of themselves, I try to restrict my blunt honesty to the subject at hand rather than aiming it at the person themselves.

    Blowing sunshine up their skirt isn't being kind. It's sparing your own sensibilities in the name of kindness...
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  • Profile picture of the author mosthost
    If you ask for honest feedback you can expect scathing criticism. How you react to it is what matters most.
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  • Profile picture of the author jamesrich1
    If you ask for a honest opinion be ready to get brutal honesty. Some members here will tell you the truth with no censor. That can actually be a good thing for you because it will let you know how most of the public has been secretly feeling about your work. Blatant criticism will happen in anything when you get a large group of people together who can voice their opinions behind a computer. Most of the warriors have a lot of intergrity but you will always have the adult bully who has to put others down to compensate for their short comings. Focus on the positives here. This place has a abundance of education for helping you become a better marketer and helping you enhance yourself from within.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      To answer your question, yes it can be if you view it that way, unfortunately.

      But, just as out in the world you have "all kinds", you will find the same in the online world as well. That means that there are kind, generous and good hearted people online too.

      I've found that if you focus on the positive, you'll find it, as it will just pop out for you. Just as a coin has two sides, so does our focus, so if you flip your focus to only the negative, that will pop out at you as well. Your best recourse is to eat the meat and spit out the bone so you won't get choked by the negative, nasty and cruel hearted.

      It is true that constructive criticism is a good thing. If the oyster didn't have the grain of sand as an irritant, a pearl would never be created.

      That being said, I always try to respond with what I refer to as the praise sandwich, meaning I'll state something good, move on to the negatives or areas that need work, and end with another praise. In other words, I sandwich the criticism between praise, hoping that the criticism will be easier to swallow and the person can benefit from it.

      It would be a wonderful thing if everyone did that, but unfortunately, that just isn't the real world, online or off.

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Litherland
    ive learnt a lot on warrior forum and this is the only one i use now as ive witnessed other users not helping people by getting too personal and if im to comment then that also gets a backlash.

    I completely understand if you ask for feedback then you need to be prepared for what you will receive but surely dodging bullets isnt what you should get. Constructive feedback to help and advise the users is the way forward.

    ive now closed down my access to the particular forum as i believe even if you put something as simple as 'i use google ppc' you will be shot down without any good tips or learn anything from your thread.

    thank you for your comments.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    An ad hominem (Latin for "to the man" or "to the person"), short for argumentum ad hominem, is an attempt to negate the truth of a claim by pointing out a negative characteristic or belief of the person supporting it. Ad hominem reasoning is normally described as a logical fallacy, more precisely an informal fallacy and an irrelevance. - Wikipedia
    Not many people are able to separate facts or fallcy from the people
    who support them. In essence, how to comment without attacking
    the other person.

    Truth has to be spoken and you must call a spade a spade, but few
    people are skilled enough to do that without using ad hominem.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author RevenueGal
    Yes, it seems like people are ready to blurt out their opinions. If you ask for constructive criticism, you do have to be prepared for receiving some blunt remarks.

    But, I do think it's a real shame that people do not know how to give criticism properly. With no positive encouragement, people don't receive you criticism well. With giving criticism our motive should be to encourage and lead that person in the right direction. I agree with Terra, it should be done as the "praise sandwich" method that she uses.
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  • Hi Litherland, until now I always found good collaborator and friends here on Warrior Forum. But I saw oonly a few people similar to your description, and the best thing to do is avoiding to fall at their same level.

    Be always available for other Warriors in need, and they will do the same with you.
    This is what I saw here on 3 years and more.

    See you soon,
    Alessandro
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  • Profile picture of the author ot
    A surprising amount of people can't take honest comments on their work even when they have specifically requested them.
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    Well it is and it isn't. There is no real answer to that imo.

    Will you find people always trying to criticize or take advantage of others? Absolutely.
    Will you also find very helpful, compassionate, caring people? Absolutely.

    So anywhere in life you get your mix of both.

    Here is my opinion. If anyone has ANY justification in the world for saying your website looks like it was written by a "child". I don't personally GAF how you put that, its rude & demeaning.

    There are roughly 1001 other ways to say it, so to pick the word "child" to me is subconsciously insulting no matter how you put it.

    Example: You're trying to cook food for your spouse.

    It doesn't turn out good. So instead of your spouse saying "the food is not good, it can use this ______ (ie. more salt)", they say "your food sucks, it tastes like a child made it!".

    There is absolutely NOTHING constructive about that. You're breaking a persons ego down, and anyone who believes this needs to be done first to build a person up, has a horrible mindset.

    You can actually build a person up WITHOUT breaking them down first. Its called "positive reinforcement" in psychology. There have been thousands upon thousands of studies showing this is more effective than negative reinforcement. Yet people will always find an excuse to make fun of your work because it makes THEM feel better in the end (humans are not a very evolved species, not as much as they like to believe they are).

    Here is some more food for thought.

    We have a lots of "professional, business minded" folks on this forum. If you bought their website review service (or paid them ANY money for help) I would find it very hard to believe that they would trash your work and make fun of it like you're a child.

    Yet if you ask them on the forum (without paying, as money changes everything) they very well might just do that. Its a social scene, people are ALWAYS trying to boost their percieved status on forums (whether they realize it or not). Its a natural flaw of human behavoir.

    You will notice it gets amplified in the copyrighting forum. You will find some VERY demeaning/degrading comments refering to other peoples work. Almost like you'd expect to see in a zoo when tigers fight each other over a piece of meat (in this case the meat = gigs).

    Yet if you paid those copyrighters something tells me they would change their tone immediately. They don't want you telling their customers that they treated you like a child, so they would definitely be more mindful about what they say (if they were smart imo).

    That creates a major conflict of interest imo. As money always does. People will only act a certain way when they WANT money (professional), when they don't want money, they'll act like rude asses and justify it later. They might also try and convince you thats how "real" professionals act. Till you give them money and they become a thousand times nicer to you. =]

    I'll put it this way. I've been on this planet 30 years. I know enough about life to know you catch more bees with honey than you do vinegar. You can criticize someone till you're blue in the face, but DO IT in a constructive way, be helpful, oooorrrr you can search for insulting labels to throw at their work. But if anyone needs to justify the latter, that just shows me they don't know what the word "professional" even means. These people believe as soon as they leave the office they can start acting like jackasses. I have many friends like this. Although this rant has already proven long enough.

    Its not something you turn on just when you're getting paid. You either are or you aren't. So don't selectively choose when to act professional. In any public setting that should be mandatory (some people even act professional at the bar believe it or not - there is no rule that says "I need to act like a jackass just because I'm surrounded by them" lol).

    Which brings us to the precise problem imo. Forums are NOT technically a "public" setting (afaic). Just because people can come here, doesn't make it "public". Public places are places you interact with REAL people. Real in the sense that you can touch them and talk to them, see their facial experessions. Hear their scared tone of voice or confident tone of voice. Because everything here is virtual. There is a huge anonymity factor. Its more like "virtual publicity" to me (if that makes sense). People can hide behind their screens and act in a way they would NEVER act in person.

    Therefore, the most important thing you can keep in mind is merely, "I'm on a forum".. and DO NOT take it personally EVER.

    -Red
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    • Profile picture of the author Mena Jo
      Wholeheartedly agree with Red. There is a way to offer criticism without being demeaning.

      You just can't take that stuff personally (or seriously). It's the Internet, people get brave hiding behind a screen. Let them have their little moment and leave them to it I say.
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      • Profile picture of the author cashp0wer
        Just don't go on that forum anymore - simple as that. Yes I have seen this happen over and over - offline and online. That is one great thing about the WF - people here aren't like that and know how to give criticism in a good way.
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  • Profile picture of the author casablancas
    If you let it affect you then you don't deserve success. It's part of the process.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    I havent seen any forums that knock others down. It's your job to remain diligent in your internet marketing efforts, and continue to attempt to make your business a success. The only kind of sites that i've seen people try to knock down are deceitful marketing practices/black hat sites.
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  • Profile picture of the author Randohm
    It's not a dog eat dog world but the people that think it is act like it is and thus make it so for themselves. It's the law of attraction. Some people make it hard to be positive, others make it easy, most of us are somewhere in between.
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  • Profile picture of the author prroger
    Opinions are just opinions. Useful information is to be cherished. I've seen plenty of examples here of someone's success being knocked by those jealous of success. I've also seen praise for accomplishment where praise is justly due. Honest criticism is a good thing. If you are only finding "dog eat dog" people find some new dogs. And that's my opinion.
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