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MY First Squeeze Page Need an Review

by thehotboss
14 replies
HI,

I m siddharth bavishi from india i am member of wf since one year.After reading each and every post everything how to make money and how build a list and everything how to get traffic.But i was not able to take any action.Whenever I tried to take action there was something my mind that i will surely fail but from last one week i just trying to take action so i have created my first squeeze page.Using dreamweaver and i tell it is not that much tough

I have created this Download Free Template

I just need an review for this for boost up confidence

friends please give an honest review what should i changed and everything



Thanks

Regards
Siddharth bavishi
#newbie #page #review #squeeze #squeeze page
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Oksa
    Originally Posted by thehotboss View Post

    HI,

    I m siddharth bavishi from india i am member of wf since one year.After reading each and every post everything how to make money and how build a list and everything how to get traffic.But i was not able to take any action.Whenever I tried to take action there was something my mind that i will surely fail but from last one week i just trying to take action so i have created my first squeeze page.Using dreamweaver and i tell it is not that much tough

    I have created this Download Free Template

    I just need an review for this for boost up confidence

    friends please give an honest review what should i changed and everything



    Thanks

    Regards
    Siddharth bavishi
    Hello Siddharth,

    Congratulations on taking action. Now, it's time to continue taking action. The page needs a lot of work. I have two pieces of advice that will help greatly when you do them.

    1. Use one of the free templates you are promoting to make your page. Right now people will see your page and will base part of their decision on how your page looks. It doesn't look like a template was used at all. Showcase how good the templates are by choosing the best one and using it on your page.

    2. Look at as many other squeeze pages as you can to get an idea of some industry standards. Do not copy them directly, but notice what they are doing. For example, good squeeze pages do not use large, red, and centered text all the way through the page.

    3. The sales message itself isn't captivating. It doesn't generate interest. Again, read other squeeze pages to get some ideas (remember, don't copy).

    Invest some real time in learning what works, otherwise all your current action will be for naught. Let me know after you have made these changes and I'd be happy to take another look.

    Hope that helps,
    Michael Oksa
    Signature

    "Ich bin en fuego!"
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    • Profile picture of the author thehotboss
      Thanks for an advice
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      • Profile picture of the author thehotboss
        Hello i have change my squeeze page to this

        http://www.downloadfreetemplate.info/free/change.htm

        please tell me what you think about this
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        • Profile picture of the author xmx
          I think the 2nd is already better than the 1st one.

          All the content in a single page (no need to scroll down), with the optin form immediately viewable.

          I would work a little on colors; I would not have all the text in red, and I would have a background color outside the table not in white.

          You could also add bullets to better separate the products available.


          regards

          Gian
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          • Profile picture of the author Damien Roche
            Yeh, nice job. But the page does need a little work.

            First thing I would say is cut it down. A squeeze page should really be above fold (in a single screen).

            Second, that much red on a light-brown background gives me a headache and scrolling down makes me feel a little overwhelmed.

            You have a nice color in the background. It kind of reminded me of the packaging of a parcel. Maybe you could play on that as a design. It's different.

            Keep the red lettering to a minimum and balance it with something that goes with the background. You could get someone to put 'ties' on the side and make it look like a parcel...I know, I'm fixated. I'm might steal that idea myself.

            Hope that helps a little.
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          • Profile picture of the author DGleason
            Originally Posted by xmx View Post

            I think the 2nd is already better than the 1st one.

            All the content in a single page (no need to scroll down), with the optin form immediately viewable.

            I would work a little on colors; I would not have all the text in red, and I would have a background color outside the table not in white.

            You could also add bullets to better separate the products available.


            regards

            Gian
            If I may add to this, It will really help your page in the long run to do two things. First, bullet the features list and stop using caps locks. This will make your page easier to read.

            The second thing you might want to do is change your features list into a benefits list. Ask yourself "So What?" for each benefit until you have come up with a statement/reason that is a compelling reason for wanting all of these products. Remember, even though you're giving it away for free, if you don't make your reader want to have it they won't want to take it. I hope this helps.
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            • Profile picture of the author Carl Henry
              Hello Siddharth,

              If you truly have all of this to offer perhaps you should break it down into smaller more focused packages, over delivery is good but this seems overwhelming (too much too soon).

              Have you personally checked the quality of the products you are offering?

              If this is a case of quantity rather than quantity you will damage your reputation by offering it.

              If you try out some of the packages for yourself you could create some screen shots of the templates etc.

              If you need some sources of free software let me know.

              Regards,

              Carl Henry
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            • Profile picture of the author thehotboss
              Thanks for great help

              Now I m changing it.

              Hopefully i will try to interegrate all your advices thanks very much i love warrior its great place.

              I was not excepting this help but warrior forum great i love it

              thanks
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              • Profile picture of the author thehotboss
                Hey I have changed to this trying to change the color

                for now i have changed to this

                www.downloadfreetemplate.info/free/change2.htm
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                • Profile picture of the author Matt Bard
                  Hello Siddharth,
                  Have a look at this I put up for you.

                  Click here Opt-in

                  At the top of your toolbar you can hit file, then "save page as" and keep this template to use if you like.

                  After seeing your pics of the books I would leave them off. They look pretty familiar and old.

                  Just sell this as your "Private Library" and go through some of the sales pages from your books and use the best bullets from them on your opt-in form.

                  Or you could sell this as a "Free Membership Into My Private Library" then dole the books out through your auto-responder series.

                  It would be an auto-responder membership site.

                  Hope this helps.
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                • Profile picture of the author Dean Shainin
                  Originally Posted by thehotboss View Post

                  Hey I have changed to this trying to change the color

                  for now i have changed to this

                  www.downloadfreetemplate.info/free/change2.htm
                  Looks so much better than the original.

                  I really like what Matthew has done above. If there was a way to blend the two ideas and keep the opt in above the fold you would have a winner.

                  Dean
                  Signature

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        • Profile picture of the author Damien Roche
          Originally Posted by thehotboss View Post

          Hello i have change my squeeze page to this

          http://www.downloadfreetemplate.info/free/change.htm

          please tell me what you think about this
          I'll tell you, simple, but effective. Against my marketing-repelling abilities, any way.

          Put it this way, I put my dummy email in and I'll check that package out

          A couple of images wouldn't go amiss. Maybe a logo so you can brand yourself at the same time.
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          >> Seasoned Web Developer (CSS, JavaScript, PHP, Ruby) <<
          Available for Fixed Fee Projects and Hourly ($40/hr)
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  • Profile picture of the author LivingCovers
    Hi siddharth,
    You did a good job coming up with such a capture page like that. But a question i'd like to ask is, why aren't any graphics on your capture page? Since you are selling a jumbo package, don't you think it wise to have a visual representation of your software programs, reports and the rest?
    Should consider having a header and footer to make it more lively and some professionalism is required for that also.

    Olatunde.
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