Review My Presell page..

Husanto...

Its a nice looking site and flows well. The only thing I saw that stood out was the lines that have amazing experience do not line up with the lines in the background.

The grammer needs to be cleaned up. There are alot of mistakes.

Also I would make it more clear as to how the product helped you and that the product is Ewen's and your promoting it. Tell them why you are and why they should use it from your point of view.

As a skimmer I went over it and almost missed that it was Ewens product and not yours. If a person feels like they have all the information you will gain more trust.

Here are a few things I learned... Facts tell and stories sell. But the more you tell they more you sell. Tell the stories and sell the emotion. And tell alot of them so there is alot of emotion.

Hope this helps.
Joe

I'm not a fan of a million different colors and all kinds of font styles, so my opinion is on design more than content.

Use less font styles and sizes
Use less color
Fix the ebook graphic, looking all squished up
Some spelling errors
Grammar problems
Your testimonials are to Ewen. Who is Ewen and why is he on this site when it says its yours (ps I know who ewen is)

Might want to review the privacy policy, not sure what is happening there:

The type of information I 'may' collect about you includes:

Husanto
me@husanto.com
Jln Taman Delima 5 No 43A Jakarta Indonesia

Generally, this information is requested...

bottom line, would I buy what you are selling or sign up, no I wouldn't.

This could take a while but :

a) On nearly every single split test A/B or multivariate I have ever done, landing/squeeze pages with a header perform less well than ones without. Ditch it IMO or at least split test it.

You're also taking up over half of your above the fold space with that thing, bad move.

b) Get your opt in box above the fold, can't express how important that is.

c) Kill off black backgrounds, go white.

Font is awful and all over the place, the english doesn't flow , get somebody to go over it for you who's native tongue is English. You also have typos like "First Dolar Online" , that isn't how you spell "dollar".

It's a decent attempt but it's nothing like as good as it probably needs to be to generate an ROI unless your working with free traffic or awfully good media buys/ppv.

You might like to check out Ryan Deis stuff, IMO, he's one of the best landing page guys in the business, I copy his stuff because frankly I don't like to re-invent the wheel and he's spent millions split testing this kind of thing.

I would also consider going down the "no risk" squeeze page which means if they leave the site without filling in the opt in, it automatically redirects to your offer. (Note with PPC you will have to be careful about this and your QS.

In addition and considering you're promoting a product of Ewen's you might like to check out Ewens dating site and how he creates his landing pages, they are incredibly simple.

People believe they need a ton of bells and whistles and the truth is simple converts higher than gloss every day and short squeeze pages increase opt ins dramatically over longer ones.

There's an awful lot more I could comment on but honestly you need to get the basics right first.

Finally and on a unrelated note, if Ewen wrote this headline:

"How You Can Easily Make More Money From Home In One Week Than What Most People Make In A Year With Their Nerve-Racking Jobs...And Never Worry About Money Again!"

He needs a kick up the but in the English grammer dept ....

"Than What most People Make "

??? Jesus Ewen .....

Thanks all for the review, I'm not expert in english grammer. So I will try to correct the grammer..