Signs that Your an Internet Marketing Guru

100 replies
With so many guru`s arising it`s important that we know how to spot them

Perhaps your a Guru and you don`t even know it?

Here are some signs that your an Internet Marketing guru:

1. You have these weird hobbies such as shooting fish in a barrel and even weirder medical problems such as a jaw that drops to the floor which you can't afford to get fixed because you're always leaving your money on the table.

2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:

3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines

4. If asked for advice about something by a friend, you convince them it's a scam before trying to sell it to them for twice the price

5. You can only write weird numbers such as 59673.71. This made you flunk your math courses in school so you dropped out and became an Internet marketer

6. You got arrested in the rich part of town for filming a sales video in front of someone else's house

7. Your home videos are all auto-play and have all control options disabled

8. You were introduced to your wife by some ex-Soviet military super blacks ops hacker/coding genius who wrote her top secret name on a bar napkin after months of you pleading for it, with the condition that you'd only announce your marriage to your mailing list of close, personal "friends" for a limited time at an insanely discounted price

If you have any extra ways how you can spot a guru then please add them below

paul
#guru #internet #marketing #signs
  • Profile picture of the author Adie
    I never considered myself a "guru but I am making money online...
    Signature



    Moderator's Note: You're only allowed to put your own products or sites in your signature.

    Signature edited.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6755069].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author louie6925
    6. You offer endless support on your product, but have the ability to disapear after one month

    7. You have an amazing capability of explaining a 30 second task, over 8 pages long!


    Lol. Gotta say, I love your post!!! great subject!!! lets all laugh at plastic guru's!!!!
    Signature
    Feel free to chat if you live in the UK I may have something for you!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6755083].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Morten V
      8. You turn a normal skype video chat with your friends into a webinar.

      9. You know you can turn $10 into $1.000 overnight.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6755179].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kukelka
    I think 'GURU' is person who really helped others to make money,not just simple giving advice or just giving product to buy and forget about what buyer. I think there is only one sign what you are internet marketing GURU - It's desire to help people and also to see results from what help !
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6755177].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MoneyMeek
      Originally Posted by Kukelka View Post

      I think 'GURU' is person who really helped others to make money,not just simple giving advice or just giving product to buy and forget about what buyer. I think there is only one sign what you are internet marketing GURU - It's desire to help people and also to see results from what help !
      Wikipedia says a guru is someone who acquires followers, usually by exploiting their naivete. What a great definition.
      Signature
      Information Mogul Startup Accelerator - Coaching, Training & Support and for Information Industry Startups
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6783907].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wordpressmania
    10. Present a very simple example in very hard way to express that you know everything
    11. All the people reading your articles are animals and you are trying to make them social

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6755231].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      You take the Nixon approach...

      "I am not a guru..."
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6758649].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maggie2
    This is really cute. Thanks for the share!
    Signature

    Marg

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759113].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    12. You cry out in your sleep stuff like: Dirty Little Secrets, Secret Ninja Strategies, Autopilot, Autopilot, Autopilot...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759120].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tim3
    HaHa Paul, LMAO already, great post.

    14. You have turned editing Clickbank and Paypal screenshots into an art form.

    15. You have so many personas you are no longer sure of your real name :confused:
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759272].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fedor50
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759356].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
      16. Your main product is a dream that you sell as a "business opportunity." :rolleyes:
      Signature
      Get Off The Warrior Forum Now & Don't Come Back If You Want To Succeed!
      All The Real Marketers Are Gone. There's Nothing Left But Weak, Sniveling Wanna-Bees!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759383].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
    17. Every player wins a prize. You sell newbie friendly products (dreams) with easy step by step instructions where everybody makes gazillions and nobody can fail.
    Signature

    .

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759418].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6759454].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author shane_k
    18. You tell people you can show them how to "automate" conversions with their friends

    19. You tell your friends they can hang out with you tomorrow for $10 but if they hang out with you today, and only for today they can pay $5

    20. You end every conversation with... "but wait, there's more."
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6760319].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    21. You don't read this thread.

    (HAW!)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6760338].message }}
  • 22. You turn a skype call with your friend into a mastermind exclusive clickbank product with 7000 free bonuses.
    Signature
    soon people... Relax...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6760709].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author gcbmark20
    You film yourself on a beach with your own private swimming pool and all is great and there are no such things as challenges or problems.

    Challenges and problems are there to serve us all and make us greater than what we are all already are at this present time.

    Earning money online is a great thing but we all have to realise that problems are here to stay no matter what your bank account reads in the morning!

    The gurus seem to miss this important fact out!!!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761348].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Deepak Media
    Originally Posted by paul nicholls View Post

    With so many guru`s arising it`s important that we know how to spot them

    Perhaps your a Guru and you don`t even know it?

    Here are some signs that your an Internet Marketing guru:

    1. You have these weird hobbies such as shooting fish in a barrel and even weirder medical problems such as a jaw that drops to the floor which you can't afford to get fixed because you're always leaving your money on the table.

    2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:

    3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines

    4. If asked for advice about something by a friend, you convince them it's a scam before trying to sell it to them for twice the price

    5. You can only write weird numbers such as 59673.71. This made you flunk your math courses in school so you dropped out and became an Internet marketer

    If you have any extra ways how you can spot a guru then please add them below

    paul
    I am always asking people for their email IDs. I ignore business cards, phone numbers, directories, meeting them in person and so on. :p
    Signature
    Digital Marketing Author | Speaker | Consultant

    Read my Blog: DigitalDeepak.com

    @ Bangalore, India.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761399].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Xneaker
    Hmm... so, clear now. I'm not a guru ;p
    Signature
    Lowest price and bonus for Internet Marketing Tools, click HERE and run a search :)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761523].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert Jordan
    As my perception 'Guru" is a Master! Even I'm not a master I can make money online with my skills...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761532].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hebsgaard
    I'm too humble to call myself a guru. I am, however, a total freaking rockstar from Mars
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761573].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author anu_smart
    Wow - that s an amazing lot of funny answers - Bookmarked the thread for more!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761597].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author R. Shawner
      You don't post here unless you have at least 3 offers in your signature... ;-)
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761658].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author therichb
    23) If you are able to build lists more quickly than your competitor thinks

    Btw rest above factors made me really think once more about my part IM experience & do some more wonders in my life.... hehe
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761668].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author cmorgansweb
    OMG, this is hilarious! ROFLMAO

    I am not a guru . . thanks guys for the laugh, this is sooo funny!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6761768].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kal Sallam
    You make money out of thin air!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6762922].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Niko A Berezkin
      Originally Posted by Kal Sallam View Post

      You make money out of thin air!
      This is my eventual goal.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764426].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Challendge
    You feel the need to teach the WF newbies when they post something that doesn't really make sense!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6763354].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author cashp0wer
      I am loving this post. I make some good money but I don't consider myself a guru. I guess I leave that to those that have made millions in Internet marketing.
      Signature
      My Internet Marketing Blog - Warts And All!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6763480].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Steve B
        A guru is:

        - An ordinary everyday schmuck that's a safe distance from home speaking at a seminar

        - A self-proclaimed rags to riches poster child that wants to show you how to be the same

        - A self-proclaimed niche master that found a PLR product yesterday and started a blog this morning

        - A sincere and true friend that has you on his mailing list and denounces all other marketers as not-to-be-trusted gurus

        - A repentant self-made millionaire that now wants to "give back" to the IM community

        - A seller that has NO memory ...
        • He only has 100, no 75, no 50, no 27, no 14, no 9, no 3, no 1 digital download left
        • His product costs $5,000, no $3,000, no $2,500, no $1,000, no $799, $7 today only
        • The offer closes at midnight tonight - but you can still by it 6 months later
        • I made 6 six figures* in July (* $2,844,630 spent on ad blasts)
        • His privacy statement says: "I will never rent or sell your personal contact info" The Fine print says: I may, from time to time, share your non-personal list identifer (email) with certain 3rd party trusted business partners who may send you offers that you may want to see which may be in your best interest that may require a substantial outlay of personal resources that may bankrupt your immediate household.
        Steve (I could go on forever)
        Signature

        Steve Browne, online business strategies, tips, guidance, and resources
        SteveBrowneDirect

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6763786].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
    24. You had your first thousand dollar day, the day after implementing your "secret" while living in your car, having $100K in debt, and no money in your pocket.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6763899].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JamieSEO
    25. You have ever hired a sports car so you can create a sales video
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764035].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John J M
    hahah wow this is great...

    Strange how everyone knows all about this...

    26. You can talk for 2 hours on one simple subject that could have been summed up in a minute. And then you make a lot of money from talking.

    This being said, there's a fine line between "gurus" that people hate and just flat out good online marketers who know how to sell. I think a lot of it comes down to value and whether or not the person really cares to help others. Knowing how to sell something, even from my example, is not a bad thing. Don't we all want to make money after all?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764409].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jazbo
    Anyone who truly was a GURU would never proclaim that fact.
    Signature
    CONTENT WRITER. Reliable, UK-Based, 6 Years Experience - ANY NICHE
    Click Here For Writing Samples & Online Ordering
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764449].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Man, I'm enjoying this thread!

      You're a Guru if:

      You promise to show people the secret...and it's one they told you about, a year ago.

      Someone calls you brilliant, and you act like you hear it every day.

      You sell the "Secret To Making $1,000" and it only costs $1,000 for the course.

      You sell a course on Doing Simple Math. The course is $169 in cash or 12 payments of $69.95 (OK, I stole that one from a comedian)

      You have 50 testimonials...all of which are from other Gurus that you also give testimonials to (Too close?)

      You think refunds should be either outlawed or given in sticks of gum.

      You are teaching a subject on how to make money...in a niche that you just heard about a week ago.

      You call an expert about a niche you just learned about, and at the end of the conversation pitch a $5,000 Mastermind membership to teach them about that same subject. (I've had almost exactly that happen)

      Every family get together ends up being you...in the middle of the room...talking about your new thing.

      You refer to friends as "Future Clients"

      You go to a friend's wedding and see, by the size of the crowd, how many new clients you should be able to get before you leave.

      You say a few words at a cousins funeral. And then when nobody applauds, you think "Tough room".

      You think the word "Upsell" is a charitable thing to offer.

      Hanging on your wall, instead of the first dollar you ever made...you have the first dollar you ever refused to refund.

      You can say "I bill my consulting time out at $1,000 an hour" without bursting out laughing.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764869].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author intergen
    27. You can sell thin-air (not even thick-air) from the comfort of your pop-up pool in Iowa (no Denver - where the air IS thin) while wearing floaties.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6764812].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BillyParadise
    I'm eagerly awaiting a World's Most Interesting Man reference in here....
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765162].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LukeDavenport
    lol...love this post
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765173].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author NewAge29
    28. You consider yourself friends with Frank Kern and Tony Robbins because you watched one of their videos.

    29. It's impossible for you to get high from the smell of dry erase markers.

    30. You still think that no one knows they can click the X and get $15 off.

    31. You got your first date with the help of David DeAngelo. HAHAHAHA
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765229].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
      Originally Posted by NewAge29 View Post

      28. You consider yourself friends with Frank Kern and Tony Robbins because you watched one of their videos.
      Frank Kern replied to one of my emails one time...anybody want to sign up for coaching?
      Signature
      Get Off The Warrior Forum Now & Don't Come Back If You Want To Succeed!
      All The Real Marketers Are Gone. There's Nothing Left But Weak, Sniveling Wanna-Bees!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766583].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Walter Parrish
        funny stuff thanks everyone i needed this.

        let me try one. lol

        41. You don't mention products outside of your own unless you're an affiliate.
        Signature
        Use Feeder Sites, Articles, And Social Media Sites To Generate Unstoppable Traffic, FREE! Click Here Now To Get It For FREE
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766641].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author goindeep
        Originally Posted by RogueOne View Post

        Frank Kern replied to one of my emails one time...anybody want to sign up for coaching?
        Hilarious!

        I once seen a FB ad for some douche offering his copy writing service on the provision that he had received a letter back from Warren Buffet... he was actually serious.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766723].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by NewAge29 View Post

      28. You consider yourself friends with Frank Kern and Tony Robbins because you watched one of their videos.
      There have been lots of clever "Signs". But I think this one is the funniest. I think because I actually know a couple people like this.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6769621].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author MP80
        LOL, I am going to run out thanks here soon..

        Great thread! Soo funny (probably because it's all true.)
        Signature
        Before you do ANYTHING else in your day - do at least ONE thing that brings money into your business.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6769672].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
          Banned
          You shave in the morning and your reflection in the mirror tries to pitch you an e-book on razor technology.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6769707].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tim3
    No.236 Your product includes the word 'Commission' or a natural disaster word.

    No. 237 You deliberately misuse customer Paypal email addresses so you can send them the same message twice to different accounts, and sell one on.

    No. 238 You change people's lives... for the worst.
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765308].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author noyzguy
    Originally Posted by paul nicholls View Post

    With so many guru`s arising it`s important that we know how to spot them

    Perhaps your a Guru and you don`t even know it?

    Here are some signs that your an Internet Marketing guru:

    1. You have these weird hobbies such as shooting fish in a barrel and even weirder medical problems such as a jaw that drops to the floor which you can't afford to get fixed because you're always leaving your money on the table.

    2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:

    3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines

    4. If asked for advice about something by a friend, you convince them it's a scam before trying to sell it to them for twice the price

    5. You can only write weird numbers such as 59673.71. This made you flunk your math courses in school so you dropped out and became an Internet marketer

    If you have any extra ways how you can spot a guru then please add them below

    paul
    This is oddly interesting lol Guru
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765318].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jacob Lot
    Lol, this is pretty funny. But you should title this "Clickbank GURU".

    I say there are some "good" Gurus out there that don't do stuff like...

    3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines
    Signature

    If you use Facebook Ads, then this is definitely for you...

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765360].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author RogueOne
      Originally Posted by Jacob Lot View Post

      I say there are some "good" Gurus out there that don't do stuff like...
      I agree. But the actual Gurus I've know (who taught me a lot) didn't market themselves as such.
      Signature
      Get Off The Warrior Forum Now & Don't Come Back If You Want To Succeed!
      All The Real Marketers Are Gone. There's Nothing Left But Weak, Sniveling Wanna-Bees!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766558].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Randall Magwood
    When your product is the number 1 selling product on Clickbank or Amazon.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765370].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    32. You charge no less than $400 an hour for your "coaching".

    RoD
    Signature
    "Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out."
    - Jim Rohn
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765421].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
    33. You pay someone from fiverr to spin a 3 year old WSO and release it as new. (Too close?)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765452].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author goindeep
      Originally Posted by Robert M Gouge View Post

      33. You pay someone from fiverr to spin a 3 year old WSO and release it as new. (Too close?)
      Boom!

      Damn these are getting good!

      I think I'm going to be a proper Guru and steal all the funny ideas and then release a book titled "Signs that Your an Internet Marketing Guru"... 'You consider yourself friends with Frank Kern and Tony Robbins because you watched one of their videos.' That's just too funny!

      Here's may add:

      34. You say the word "Dude"... a lot!
      35. You recently started surfing, but you drive a 100K Range Rover... and have a lambo in the Garage!
      36. Your wife hasn't seen you in three years, but 10,000 people saw you last night on that webinar thingy...
      37. You'r a real success... but you have 20,000 posts on the warrior forum and you only joined last year!
      38. When you found out your cousin had Influenza you rang to congratulate him on the domain name purchase.
      39. You bought your daughter a kitten... but at night when no ones watching you dress it up in star wars outfits and sell the pictures online...


      NEXT!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765667].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
        Originally Posted by Andrei Rotariu View Post

        38. When you found out your cousin had Influenza you rang to congratulate him on the domain name purchase.
        That made me laugh.

        Good one.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765681].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
          Your success in dating beautiful women relies on "outsourcing"... :p
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765883].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author lossman29
        Originally Posted by Robert M Gouge View Post

        24. You had your first thousand dollar day, the day after implementing your "secret" while living in your car, having $100K in debt, and no money in your pocket.
        Hahaha. This one is true for almost every GURU out there today.
        Signature

        "There is light at the end of the tunnel. Have some faith and work hard. ALWAYS."

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6780631].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author NewAge29
          53. You ruined Clickbank so you went to the WSO section. People caught on in a few months. Now Clicksure is your thing.

          54. A friend went out with a new girl. You asked him what his DPL was.

          55. You have a Benz but borrow money for gas.

          56. You got arrested in the rich part of town for filming a sales video in front of someone else's house.

          57. Just 6 months ago you were living under a bridge living on garbage until you found this "magical thing" and now Warren Buffet has you on speed dial.

          58. Your capped teeth put Joe Biden to shame.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6780756].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author paul nicholls
            Originally Posted by NewAge29 View Post


            56. You got arrested in the rich part of town for filming a sales video in front of someone else's house.

            57. Just 6 months ago you were living under a bridge living on garbage until you found this "magical thing" and now Warren Buffet has you on speed dial.
            these cracked me up lol :-)

            Paul
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6781427].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ksmusselman
        "20. You end every conversation with... "but wait, there's more.""

        ROFLMAO!!! I have actually SAID this!!!! And I don't even sell any type of IM product! I've just read it or heard so many times...

        This thread is hysterical .. thanks for the laughs!!!
        Signature
        Do You Vape? Submit a Guest Post! SmokersLogicEcigs.com
        Info Blog about Ecigs & Personal Vaporizers
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6783844].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dreamtoreality
    You have a hard time differentiating between the truth and lies.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765617].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Beverley Boorer
    You can't really spell, typing the word 'your' instead of 'you're'
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765921].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Charlotte Jay
    As soon as you get rich, you turn into a hobo and start living in a castle, then decide to walk backwards across Amurrrica.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765964].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Lenney
    Banned
    Originally Posted by paul nicholls View Post

    With so many guru`s arising it`s important that we know how to spot them

    Perhaps your a Guru and you don`t even know it?

    Here are some signs that your an Internet Marketing guru:

    1. You have these weird hobbies such as shooting fish in a barrel and even weirder medical problems such as a jaw that drops to the floor which you can't afford to get fixed because you're always leaving your money on the table.

    2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:

    3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines

    4. If asked for advice about something by a friend, you convince them it's a scam before trying to sell it to them for twice the price

    5. You can only write weird numbers such as 59673.71. This made you flunk your math courses in school so you dropped out and became an Internet marketer

    If you have any extra ways how you can spot a guru then please add them below

    paul
    *You're

    :-)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6765986].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author NewAge29
    39. Everything you say is so important that we must "turn off the skype and shut down the email" while we listen.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766000].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Originally Posted by paul nicholls View Post

    2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:
    Um ... not every note.


    30-something. You start your ebook with 9 pages of fluff explaining why your ebook doesn't have any fluff, and you think every word of that drivel is important.
    Signature

    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766013].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
    40. Your home videos are all auto-play and have all control options disabled.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766015].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maggie2
    This list just keeps getting better and better!
    Signature

    Marg

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766517].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766529].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
    42. You get excited when you answer the phone and it's a telemarketer because you get to pick apart their pitch.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766700].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author piaps
    Originally Posted by paul nicholls View Post

    With so many guru`s arising it`s important that we know how to spot them

    Perhaps your a Guru and you don`t even know it?

    Here are some signs that your an Internet Marketing guru:

    1. You have these weird hobbies such as shooting fish in a barrel and even weirder medical problems such as a jaw that drops to the floor which you can't afford to get fixed because you're always leaving your money on the table.

    2. Every note you write to your wife is filled with bullet points and a PS:

    3. You include the words Re:, notification of payment received and _______ in your subject lines

    4. If asked for advice about something by a friend, you convince them it's a scam before trying to sell it to them for twice the price

    5. You can only write weird numbers such as 59673.71. This made you flunk your math courses in school so you dropped out and became an Internet marketer

    If you have any extra ways how you can spot a guru then please add them below

    paul
    I'm no. 2 and 3.. but I don't consider myself a "Guru" (maybe a little )

    Here's another way to spot a "Guru":

    Gurus are givers - they are always willing to share information and not expecting anything in return.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6766799].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author pdrs
    LOL Hilarious and shared - thanks!
    Signature
    RemoteControlHelicopterReviews.(com/net) - Up for sale! No reasonable offer refused. Great branding for a super hot niche!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6769710].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sdentrepreneur
    40. Your friends call you by your Twitter Handle
    41. Random hot girls approach you at bars and say they are your Facebook Friend...haha
    Signature

    Learn to become Digital, Internet and Social Media Marketing Consultant to Business Owners
    Click here to learn more - Internet, Digital and Social Media Marketing Training Course

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6771982].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Exel
    43.You convince people that all the so called gurus out there are scamers,
    and only you are the real deal, in spite of doing EXACTLY the same thing they do.

    44.You casually mention that you are NOT a guru 124-317 times every day.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6772251].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Gianni
    Maybe by the way they make money, we can tell they are gurus.

    All the best.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6772391].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author CarlosCoto
      45. If you're having a baby...

      You use your aweber autoresponder product launch sequence...to tell your family and friends ... And keep them "updated" and prepared ... for the big "launch"!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6772470].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mayur6578
    I am not Guru and hence my money making day's are not going well.
    well do you have any suggestions for me, i will really appreciating it. thanks!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6772418].message }}
  • You haven't had a shower for days....
    Signature

    PM Me Now!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6772720].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MP80
      46. You post a thread on WarriorForum, asking how you can create a series of video tutorials, where after each video ends, the next one immediately begins.
      Signature
      Before you do ANYTHING else in your day - do at least ONE thing that brings money into your business.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6774314].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author shane_k
    47. You can't go 30 minutes with out sending someone an email about a product that gets your 100% approval and recommendation!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6774365].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Originally Posted by shane_k View Post

      47. You can't go 30 minutes with out sending someone an email about a product that gets your 100% approval and recommendation!
      And you still plan to actually read it someday...
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6776239].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author bizwisard
    Before I saw this thread here ,I never knew what a "guru" was or how to spot one ,Now I know that it is really not a kangaroo that has been hit by an 18 wheeler.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6776413].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tanshi
    48. You know how to get tones of free traffic to your website with just 5 mins of work per day - what am I saying?! Per month!
    Signature

    The best things in life aren't things

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6776592].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ceenote100
    Nothing on this list applies to me so I guess I'm not a guru.

    But then again, claiming to be NOT a guru makes you somewhat of a guru too.
    Signature
    ► ► ► FREE REPORT!!◄ ◄ ◄


    ★ ★ ★ Introducing THE BRUTAL TRUTH About Internet Marketing! ★ ★ ★
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6776609].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tanshi
    49. You have unsolicited testimonials about the way you brush your teeth
    Signature

    The best things in life aren't things

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6776626].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CarlosCoto
    50. If you go to therapy with a shrink, he will diagnose you with bipolar disorder... Manic state during "product launch" periods, and depressed when you have no product to launch.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6778223].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Robert M Gouge
    51. You consider the purchase of your first whiteboard as one of the most exciting moments of your life.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6778304].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CarlosCoto
    52. The shrink might also diagnose you as obssessive compulsive since your brain only thinks IM, IM, IM, MONEY, IM,IM,IM!!! In series...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6778636].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CarlosCoto
    Or he might say... " i know what YOU have... You have that new disorder! Warrior Forum personality disorder!!!"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6778650].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tim3
    You keep sending emails saying "Sorry, I sent you the wrong link"

    You dream of a real Twitter following like the Dalai Lama...
    Followers - 4,879,310
    Following - 0
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6778685].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wordpressmania
    I was curious what is going on here.... so come back again and adding some more points..... I added 10 and 11 point on this list and now.......

    40. You sell product for only $1 and you are saying it is the secret to be millionaire though you are earning at most 2 to three figure here

    41. your seccess history makes you lazy and you are traveling all the world ( I got a email last day.... a so called marketer is traveling all around the world!! )

    I had a post of the WF.... regarding low competition product on Clickbank but I did not get a single product name..... Actually no one will let you know their business secret as they do not want a lot of competition in their business. So all most of them as fake and they are trying to earn some money with their sweet talks....
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6779502].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Edwin Torres
    6. You put a 60 day refund guarantee but never honor it
    7. You say your support answers all questions but never give a response till like 2 weeks later
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6781834].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6789192].message }}

Trending Topics