How do you deal with negative people ????

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I'm basically starting out with my business online and my husband is just not supportive! I get excited about something I learned or building my website and try to talk to him, and he says the same negative things. He thinks it is all a scam and people on this forum are out to con people out of their money. Now I know some of that is true, but I want to believe that most people here do it the right away. I always see giving value to the list. Anyways, tonight I was listening to an interview that was just so amazing about internet marketing and wanted him to listen. He heard the first 2 minutes and said, yup they sound like fakes. It pisses me off! When I do make it big online, I think I might resent him for all of this. I want him to be part of this success but he really brings me down. He doesn't get that this will be great for all of us. I guess maybe when he sees me actually make money, then he will believe it. Has anyone else gone through something like this?
#main internet marketing discussion forum #deal #negative #people
  • I feel your pain. Most people don't understand any type of internet business especially IM. I have tried to explain it to my family, friends, and my wife many MANY times. They always look at me like I'm trying to scam someone but they don't understand that it can be a major business and it's a lot of hard work!

    Now my wife supports what I do even though she doesn't understand it. But I learned something a while back. I used to tell her ever little thing I was doing and now don't. I came to the realization that she just doesn't get it and I'll keep my mouth shut. It's hard to do because I have so much passion for it. I also do that with my family and friends. Sometimes when people ask what I do I just say I'm a web designer. It's easier and they won't think I'm trying to scam anyone.

    When I start making serious money then I will blabber all I want because then I know I've earned this. Until then I just keep my mouth shut and work. Hope that helps!
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    • Yes, thanks that does help and it makes sense. That is exactly what my husband told me - that he doesn't need to hear everything about it. He says it is like him talking to me about golf. The the thing is, I may find golf boring, but I would never say that golf is stupid and a waste of time.

      I think keeping my mouth shut and just working is good advice. Glad I have my music to drown everything out!
  • I haven't gone through what you describe. When I was married my ex was very supportive of everything we tried. Some of it was successful, some not, but she was cool.

    I think the only thing you can do is keep what you're doing to yourself and find support elsewhere. Make friends here. Check out the Mastermind groups on this forum. Maybe he'll come around when you start making money. Hopefully you'll still want him around...
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    • Yes, imagine him all excited and willing to help when I'm making money. I'll be like, honey go play golf! Time for separate checking accounts...since I'm "scamming" people, I wouldn't want him to feel guilty spending the money.
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    • I have a friend who's always getting excited about this moneymaking thing or that. Like you, she wants to believe. These opportunities never pan out for her, for a variety of reasons.

      Obviously I don't know your husband but could it be he's seen this happen with you before? Often people are seen as negative when they're just urging caution. Maybe he doesn't want to see your hopes dashed again. Maybe he's trying to protect you.

      And you've admitted yourself many IM offerings come across as scammy.

      fLufF
      --
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  • Obviously I don't know your overall situation but I wonder if the prevailing attitude is consistent in other areas of the relationship? If it is, and it were me... I'm out'ta here.

    Slave to passerby, "You're free. Make the most of it!"

    By the way, I love your sig.

    Joe Mobley
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    • I think you've just got to learn to hush up.

      I know it's exciting for you, but to your husband it really doesn't mean anything. Why don't you prove it to him by being successful. Until then I don't see why he'd care, though it does sound like he is being a little rude.
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  • Negative people are every where. My biggest skeptics were my family until I started making money. Then some of them questioned the checks, are they real? are you going to get in trouble when you deposit that in the bank?

    Its your dream, if you want it bad enough you have to tune out the negative people. Is your husband a bad guy because he thinks its a scam, no. Once you start making money and he sees its legit he will come around and may even start getting involved. Until then start saving your "i told you so" and have it written on a huge banner...

    If Bill Gates listened to all the negative people do you think we would have microsoft right now.
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  • He will continue to be negative, till you prove him wrong and start making money with your IM ventures. Many are like that, they just don't understand the internet and how it is very possible to make a full-time income on there.
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  • There's only ONE way to deal with people like this...

    Go and BE successful. No one can argue with actual results.

    He's like most people. They like to believe the only way to make money is by working for the man. It's easier to believe that than to go out and take risks.

    You will never persuade him until you can show him results... but don't let it stop you from being successful.
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  • Will nailed it.

    My family & friends used to tell me to "go get a real job" when I started working online years ago.

    But once I started consistently hitting 3 & 4 figure daily earnings, they didn't have much to say anymore.

    Now when I try to explain something I'm working on to my parents, they just say "$50 says Robbie is about to say something I dont understand!" and thats the end of it.

    Nobody can understand everything. But like Will says - you cant argue with results.

    Once they see things are actually working, they will change their tune - or at the very least, shut up. lol trust me.. they dont question anything I say I'm working on anymore.

    However.. good times can fade just as quickly as they can arrive - so never take things for granted, and ALWAYS have a plan B/C/D and E.

    I had to learn that last one the hard way. But it was a good learning experience.
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  • I have had some negative opinions, but the truth is there is scams just like in the real life, one decide what to do, but the good news is that in internet there is great oportunities to make good money! althoght isn't easy

    I recommend you keep in this, since I note you like it
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  • Banned
    Hello madelyndon,

    I wish you well.

    There are humans who can only believe once they see it (results). It's easier for most humans to believe something when you tell them 'scientists said' than tell them 'according to the Bible.'

    For the time being, I would recommend you to continue your online business on your own. As you see results, tell your husband again, and perhaps he will believe.
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  • Will is right - go and be successful. It is sad that he doesn't at least not respond negatively to your excitement but it's also not unusual. Some relationships are more challenging in communication than others and I'm not even going to pretend to give advice! Just remember there are people who will share in your excitement and you may never have met any of them in person.
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  • I think that you'll get used to the fact that many people will not get what you're talking about and many will not be interested in the details either.

    But that doesn't set IM apart from any other profession on this planet.

    Would you want to hear all the details of a mechanic who just fixed the engine of a car?
    Would you want to hear about the exciting figures an accountant came across during the day?
    You get the idea...

    Find people who are in the same profession/industry...people who have
    the same passion/obsession ...and you'll find relief.

    As to the negative thinking...
    that can have many reasons... maybe he's scared, maybe he is protective, maybe he
    is the pessimistic part that matches your optimism to become some sort of realism.
    Find out what it is about...
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    • I completely disagree. In my opinion, a lot of those review websites are the biggest fakes online! They give great reviews on products they know nothing about. They aren't providing any real value to their client, they want to sell and will tell you what you want to hear. Reminds me of a really bad car salesman. Besides, if you believe so much in these review sites and then you wrote an ebook about your success and sold it, what is a scam in that? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some legit review sites just like there are some legit "make money online" websites. My idea is just to build a blog on something I know and then if I make money, do it again in another niche I know. After that, teach others what I did. I don't see anything bad about it and think I could add value to people's lives.
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  • The solution is simple. Agree on an amount of money you can use to fund your IM "experiment".(as they will look at it being)

    You are free to spend as you want in the future from money you have made.

    If you are not constantly draining the bank account chasing smoke and mirrors then they have no reason to fear.

    Worked for me.

    Aaron
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    • This is good advice because when I started I spent a TON of money on training material. Was it an investment? Sure but there is some point where you have to stop learning (although you should never stop learning) and take action!

      Everyone says take action but it's true. Nice to see this is a popular thread. I guess lots of us go through it.
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  • WOW I thought I was the only one going through this! Please tell me you have a facebook
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    • haha I actually deleted my personal facebook account - too distracting!
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  • This is the reason why I don't say anything. If I do tell them they probably won't understand it anyway. Im still dealing with it too this day..but little do they know what Im "actually" doing..
  • Hey! I sent you a pm
    Let me know if you got it!
  • The first thing I want to tell you is this. Most of us are alone.
    The second thing I want to tell you is this.
    When most millionaires and billionaires started they were alone too.

    So, don't be surprised by the lack of support from family, friends, and associates. Most of them will never understand.

    There was one warrior on here that posted his story and I'm sure it fits many.
    He said; when he started everyone thought he was foolish, crazy, wasting time, wasting money, after he became successful with IM those same people didn't apologize or anything like that. They then thought he was making his money doing something illegal.

    I hope this cheers you up some,
    Walter Parrish

    btw my family thinks I'm crazy and wasting money. the others well I just put anyone who had something negative to say or a bad attitude on the back burner until I accomplish what I need to accomplish.
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  • I learned to have tough skin and keep it moving.
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  • Banned
    Internet Marketing is not for everyone and a lot of people have a negative view of it and a lot of that reputation is well deserved. I might have listened to the same video and thought they sounded like a bunch of fakes. Don't know, but if I were you, I'd keep my husband out of my business, since it's not his cup of tea.

    Work it and hope it works out and when it does, he may be more enthusiastic, but I wouldn't expect enthusiasm from a skeptic without being able to show results.
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  • I'm just started early this month, I don't really share with my family/friends/colleagues because when I just shared IM with them, they just asked me don't waste my time and money, just a very small percentage of people will succeed....and this market not for Asian .... now I'm doing alone...

    Whenever I need info or encouragement, I will sign in Warrior Forum, is a big family here. You no need to share with your husband, you can share it over here, is so amazing that you will get supporters here.

    Keep it up!

    Cheers
    Connie Lim
  • Man up (regardless of gender)
  • Hi madelyndon, I am just reading a book that describes the four human personalities: melancholy, phlegmatic, choleric and sanguine. Your hubby sounds like he is a melancholy - naturally pessimistic and gloomy. Does he often point out that the cup is half empty instead of being half full? That is points to the negative in many other situations. If not, consider that he may feel threatened by this new interest of yours and jealous that you are into something that he doesn't want to share.
    BTW that strengths of a meloncholy are that they are dependable and loyal, conscientious and thorough in what they do.
    If you know it is just their temperament it is easier to bear.... good luck with it all






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  • maybe he's that type of guy that needs to see it to believe it, he will only get excited if he sees the money in front of him.

    and I can totally understand what your husband thinks about IM interviews, most of the time they are just self promotion with nothing useful, or motivational speeches. I think you can get more accurate information by reading forums; information in forums is more fragmented but usually is people trying to help other people.
  • Only you can assess the depths, undercurrents, and nuances of your relationship with you husband.

    That said, I think you need to explore why he is not supportive. Is he afraid of you losing your joint money/resources? Is he afraid you'll meet someone online? Is he annoyed that you spend more time on the computer than with him? Of is he afraid that your success would emasculate him?

    There are probably tens if not hundreds of theories behind what is driving his behavior. Much as a fake friend tries to sabotage your diet by offering you chocolate, perhaps he's trying to sabotage and undermine your budding career that he feels threatened by in some manner.

    My advice is to discuss it openly with him now. It's been my experience that the longer something goes unaddressed and ignored, it will fester until the situation explodes.

    I also highly recommend a book called "Life by Design" (by Tom Ferry) -- one part is that the conversations that are the most difficult to have are the ones you need to have the most.

    Best of luck to you, and stay strong - never let anyone kill your dreams!
  • Taking an upward shift is one difficult most of the startup people face in their lifetime... Setting up a new business requires full concentration on what they are exactly looking & dont taking into consideration what others are saying about the startup...

    This brings a failure sometime in most of the cases & if we stay apart from it, then we can definitely succeed.
  • He believes what he believes for whatever reason and that likely wont change, even if you somehow make a few bucks. Now if you make lots of buck then perhaps.....

    But here is the main thing, you cant depend upon the "approval" and "enthusiasm" of others as fuel to your dreams, because sooner or later the tank will come up empty.
    If your fuel , fire, passion comes from within then the tank will never get empty.

    Also, avoid the emotion of trying to prove other people wrong as long term motivation. Although this can motivate some people to get started and push harder for short periods it too will dry up. You must want to do it because of your own passion and desire for success,growth, etc...

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  • 52

    I'm basically starting out with my business online and my husband is just not supportive! I get excited about something I learned or building my website and try to talk to him, and he says the same negative things. He thinks it is all a scam and people on this forum are out to con people out of their money. Now I know some of that is true, but I want to believe that most people here do it the right away. I always see giving value to the list. Anyways, tonight I was listening to an interview that was just so amazing about internet marketing and wanted him to listen. He heard the first 2 minutes and said, yup they sound like fakes. It pisses me off! When I do make it big online, I think I might resent him for all of this. I want him to be part of this success but he really brings me down. He doesn't get that this will be great for all of us. I guess maybe when he sees me actually make money, then he will believe it. Has anyone else gone through something like this?