Need your opinion Warrior

by Simon74

Posted: 16 years ago 11 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

Hi
I need your honest opinion on my sales letter.
Any suggestion will be appreciate.
Many thanks,
Simon

Click here

#opinion #warrior

EnlightenedEntrepreneurs 16 years ago

I think testimonials, pictures, videos would help.

I would probably make it longer, and outline exactly the benefits of each video. You want to sell people on the benefits, not the features.

Also, you have to demonstrate how your product is superior to others.
- Thanks
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Simon74 16 years ago

Hi guys thanks for your help, I did't put any order button because can be seen as a spam.
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Amalfi Coast Tours
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- DeadGuy 16 years ago
  
  You're off to a good start with the letter but you need to focus more on the benefits I will get when I buy this package. Always think benefit and emotion.
  
  Hit 'em hard, and you better hit 'em quick. What is the absolute, without question, biggest benefit this package will offer me? WIIFM? Why would I buy it? The slide doesn't seem slippery enough... at least to me.
  
  I concur with ProductCreator. Change the headline formating, add strategic graphics, testimonials and additional formatting at each "fold" so your eye is naturally drawn down the page.
  
  The absolute best and worst thing you can do is have your sales letter critiqued by others .
  
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  You are making this work at home stuff way harder than it is. Ready for some sanity? Clear your head and start over.
  
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nick1123 16 years ago

Put your normal text a little bigger.

Add some graphics to break things up a bit.
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- Rully 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by nick1123
  
  Put your normal text a little bigger.
  
  Add some graphics to break things up a bit.
  
  Yup...where are graphics ? it will make more interesting.As you know "one graphic can beat a thousand words"
  
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revenue.fm 16 years ago

Definitely need some pictures. One of yourself might work well for some credibility at the top. Like everyone else has said, get some testimonials. List a site or two that you've been able to use the methods you're selling.

Oh, a screenshot of earnings or sales always helps as well!
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Simon74 16 years ago

Thank you so much guys, I am doing all the changes as we speak.
Thank you again on taking the time for your suggestions.
Simon
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B&B In Positano
Amalfi Coast Tours
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IdeasNotWords 16 years ago

There are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, so I'd definitely get someone to proof it before it goes live.

Also, too much red as highlight text. Varying it up would make it much more pleasant 7 interesting to read. Perhaps a red font for one line, yellow background for the next, underline for another further on... Repeat cycle... etc
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Gren Bingham 16 years ago

Hi Simon,

Benefits, bullet points, and testimonials

Best regards,

Gren
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Gren. Bingham, London, U.K.
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